Ready to Love Again

posted 17th June 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Katharine, Love/Relationships, Season 4, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

“Life never gives you the same chance twice and destinations never stay the same.  Get going now because you are missing out on the world out there, not the world where you are.”

The decision of staying in Australia or moving to Taiwan wasn’t easy.  I couldn’t just flip a coin and let that be it.  I had to really think about what exactly it was that I wanted right now and in the future.

I’m incredibly happy in Australia and I’m not sure I’m ready to give that up just yet.

When it comes down to it, it’s all about regret.  Life is about living with as little regret as possible. Will I regret not moving to Taiwan or will I regret not staying in Australia?  Will I regret not pursuing my career or will I regret not pursuing a relationship?

I knew which decision would reap the least regret, but I didn’t want to admit it to myself.  Maybe because I never thought I would actually be one of ‘those’ people.

I’m staying in Australia and taking a chance on love.

There’s a lot at stake here.  For me and for him.  We’re both young – 27 and 26 respectively – from two different countries, backgrounds, and lifestyles.  Yet, we have similar hopes, dreams, and passions for life.  Me choosing to stay for this relationship certainly puts some added pressure on him.  My tourist visa expires on August 25th, at which point I’ll have to leave the country (unless I leave sooner to renew my tourist visa) and apply for a working visa so I can return to Australia to live and work for one year and continue to make things work between us.

And then there are the emotional risks.  I’m falling hard and fast for this man.  Maybe it’s his Australian accent (swoon) or maybe it’s because I haven’t been in a relationship in a while and everything is still in that ‘honeymoon’ phase, but it’s starting to get more challenging to keep my heart protected.

But as scary as it is knowing that I’m willing to make big sacrifices for a man without a guarantee of this relationship working out, I realized that I’m finally ready to be in a mature, committed relationship.  Eventually you reach a point in your life when you’re no longer afraid to get hurt. That’s exactly where I am right now.  I’m terrified of falling in love again, but I want to give this relationship – and this man – everything I have because I believe it’s the only way to live passionately and with intention.

I’m finally ready to love again.

I know it sounds crazy – to sacrifice a job opportunity for a relationship that might not work out – but what if it does work?  What if this is it? I want to take this chance.  I finally found a genuine man who doesn’t play games and knows what he wants and I can’t let myself walk away from him yet.  I’ve already met his parents, brothers, and closest friends (I told you things move faster when you live abroad).  This is the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in and after all I’ve been through, I deserve this.

{photo credit: weheartit}

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Comments (16)

16 Responses to “Ready to Love Again”

  • Erin Says:
    June 17th, 2011 at 9:26 am

    Just wanted to say – what if you'd hated living in Taiwan? What if you'd hated the job? Jobs come and go, a new, wonderful opportunity will come along. Connections with people are precious. Your story has been awesome to read, congrats on this exciting adventure you're on!

  • Sam Says:
    June 17th, 2011 at 10:15 am

    Good for you! I'm so happy to hear that you're ready to love again, and that you're giving yourself that chance. Trying to live with the least regret really puts things into perspective. No one wants to look back on their life and wish they'd done things differently…I mean, there will probably always be something, but the big stuff…we really need to think long and hard. Clearly, you did that, and Mr. Sexy Accent is a very lucky man :) Can't wait to hear more about your adventures!

  • Kate Says:
    June 17th, 2011 at 8:40 pm

    You're absolutely right, Erin. There was a good chance I would have hated living in Taiwan, especially having to readjust to the culture shock and language barrier again. One reason why it's been wonderful living in Australia is because there's no language barrier and very little culture shock. I don't think I would have hated the job — I mean, working 20 hours a week at a summer camp with the children, teaching them English and playing sports with them — would be a wonderful job, but right now, I really need to focus on myself and take this shot at love. And if it doesn't work out? Well, at least I won't have any regrets about it…

  • Kate Says:
    June 17th, 2011 at 8:41 pm

    Mr. Sexy Accent — I like that nickname!!

  • Nessa Says:
    June 18th, 2011 at 8:03 am

    YAY! I'm glad your heart won.

  • Carla Says:
    June 18th, 2011 at 8:42 am

    Yes, yes you do deserve it! Glad to hear that you took that chance…..you how many of us miss out on opportunities because of the "what if's". Sometimes you have to just let go and let live :)

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    June 18th, 2011 at 3:59 pm

    You need to focus on you. I mean hasn't that been what this whole journey is about? Discovering that you went abroad to find out what makes you tick. I, for one, think that you choosing to stay in Australia for the chance on love shows so much growth and progress. You're learning how to trust your heart again and that is the most amazing thing.

  • Caz Says:
    June 19th, 2011 at 3:33 pm

    woohoo! When I made the decision to follow my Aussie love and leave a fabulous job in Canada I was scared and worried. I love adventure but I also have an independent streak a mile wide and never, ever, EVER thought I'd be "one of those people" who moves/stays/puts a guy before my career/life/etc. Yet somehow, it's been one of the best things I've ever done. 6 years later it's still great. That's not to say it's not hard. Harder than having a relationship with someone from your hometown. There's emotional decisions, family, and money to consider, plus PILES of paperwork. But it's also so fulfilling to know that we've chosen and worked hard to be in this relationship, it's not just out of convenience (because it'd be a hell of a lot easier to not be together!) and even if it doesn't work out in the future, well these 6 years have shaped who I am and have been one hell of an adventure. Even if I end up with a broken heart, I wouldn't change my decision for anything.

    Anyway, happy to chat whenever you need to. I've been through it all and it's definitely easier to chat about the hard stuff with someone who at least understands where you're coming from.

  • essieteric Says:
    June 19th, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    Ah yes, we Australians with our gorgeous accents. ;)

    I sacrificed a wonderful ongoing job as a teacher in Townsville for my partner, who wanted me to stay in Brisbane. We had been in a relationship for about 4 months, and were falling fast, as it seems you are too. It was a difficult decision to make – I've never had the confidence or the opportunity to be a teacher again. And even though the relationship didn't last, I think I made the right call in the long run. I gave a relationship a go. And I was lucky enough to be flexible enough to find other work.

    In relationships, it's hard to keep your own voice. Or at least, that is what I have found. And I truly envy you that you are at the stage to love again. It's a long road. I feel it every day when I crave contact with another woman, and it invariably never happens. But I'm holding onto the same hope that you are – that the hurt will fade and that we will be better people when we love again.

  • Kate Says:
    June 20th, 2011 at 8:50 pm

    I want to come visit you in Melbourne! We can drink wine and chat about relationships, Australia, men, etc! I could definitely use someone to talk to about this stuff since you already did it! xoxo

  • Kate Says:
    June 21st, 2011 at 6:09 am

    You Australians may have the best accents.. :)

    I agree that it's hard to keep your own voice in any relationship – especially one abroad. I'm taking a huge risk and I'm sacrificing a lot to be in Australia, but when it comes down to it, I'm confident that I'll get other teaching jobs in the future (even in OZ). I'm not sure I'll ever meet a man like him again, and I know that if I don't take this chance now, I'm going to regret it further down the road. Even if this doesn't work out, at least I can look back and know that I gave this a chance.

  • This Week in Bitchery June 22, 2011 | The Bitch Blog Says:
    June 22nd, 2011 at 5:42 am

    [...] one is from Stratejoy about Katherine taking a chance on whether to stay or go. The reason I liked Ready to Love Again was that we’ve all been in a position where the decision we’re making can change the entire [...]

  • Najela Says:
    June 23rd, 2011 at 3:50 am

    I feel like I'm just at the precipice of learning to love and following my heart for once. So far all of the choices I've been making are the logical safe choices, which is fine because it's gotten me to where I want to be at this point, but I want to start being a little less logical and calculated, but put more feeling into my choices. Congrats on making that decision, you are truly an inspiration.

  • Caz Says:
    June 24th, 2011 at 8:36 pm

    Yes!!!! Australian men are an anomaly all to their own. But definitely come visit, Melbourne is fabulous (better than Sydney, but I am a bit biased)

  • ohh Says:
    June 30th, 2011 at 3:54 am

    My goodness, your post made me want to give you a great bear hug, proclaim you my buddy, and toast with a margarita glass to the craziness of our lives :P

    I'm in a similar situation, except it's the other way around – only days after i've met a guy at a garden party 2500km from my home country, he flew to another side of Europe to visit me, out of the blue.. 3 weeks later, we're living together.

    We spent the most wonderful, sunny and laughter-filled 5 days together here, and then I had to send him off at the airport with the heaviest heart.. A few calls and a week later, he's quit his job in London, gave up his apartment, closed the bank accounts and landed in my country once again, but this time for good, with just two suitcases and a will to spend our lives together. After we've both been single for ages. :)

    Whatever happens, happens, right?
    I would've regretted forever, if I hadn't agreed to this crazy plan after knowing him for 3 weeks, and having seen only for 6 days.

  • Kate Says:
    June 30th, 2011 at 6:48 am

    WOW! That's kind of crazy!! :)

    Honestly, I've never been one to sacrifice a career for a man, but I've been around 'the block' enough to know that a guy like this doesn't come around that often, and if I don't take a chance on this now, I'm certainly going to regret it forever.

    I'm trying to not have any expectations in this — I want to keep an open mind and an open heart, and just go with whatever happens.

    Wishing the best of luck to you both!!

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