Relief From “Right Now”

posted 25th June 2011    Written by: Dee    CATEGORY: All Posts, Dee, Season 4, Tips & Tools, Travel/Adventure

 

Miss me?

I’ve been on hiatus. I had a moment. A moment where I needed to step back from the internet, rethink, redirect, regroup, you know? I’ve been visiting family, attending weddings, trying to graduate, and sculpting my best life. I’ve been watching time fly by and comtemplating the weight on my shoulders- where is it coming from?

While I’ve been gone from Stratejoy world, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can stop my life from feeling like such a flurry, from feeling so all-over-the-place. My life has a real lack of focus right now.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I feel extreme pressure to be everything, do everything, see everything, and feel everything. Because life has so much! I don’t wanna miss a thang…

I want to run wild, live freely, and take it all in. I wanna travel everywhere, to get up early and watch the sunrise, to stay up late and chat under the stars, to eat deliciously, to love deeply, to have time alone, time with everyone I love, see every movie, read every book, study every subject. I want structure and flexibility simultaneously. I want everything it all, all at once. It weighs me down; the pressure to do it all right now weighs me down. And, I’m about to lose it if something doesn’t change.

“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heavens.” -Ecclesiastes 3:1

The problem is, the problem I’m having and realizing, is that sometimes all the things we want contrast. They can’t possibly agree. Things just won’t all fit at once.

For instance, an immediate goal of mine is to complete a half marathon in November. This will require months of diligent training, focused exercise, an organized diet, and healthy sleep patterns. Am I willing to give up late nights on patios with friends, meals out, happy hours, spontaneity, and flexibility? I don’t know. It’s a tough call. Why can’t I have both?

Right now I want to make more money. I want more money so badly. Even an extra $100 per week would decrease my stress levels immensely. But, I also want to make really awesome grades and dedicate plenty of time to my projects and homework. When would I have time for an extra job? There aren’t enough hours in the day to devote to the things I want so badly.

I want to travel. I want to plan weekends away visiting friends, celebrating milestones, and knocking items off of my endless to-see list. But, I also relish weekends at home; Saturdays at my local coffee shop followed by a big nap, and Sundays at the farmer’s market after brunch with my girls. I can’t have both.

No matter what I do, I feel like I’m missing out. With all the talk in our culture about how fleeting life is, how little time we really have, there is so much expectation to make the most of every second. Do you feel it, too?

I simply must decide what this season of life will be. Is this my season for early mornings running on the trail, and weekends at home? Is this the season for travel and excitement? Is this the season for concentrated schoolwork?  One thing is for sure: It can’t all happen right now. This is a realization packed with both disappointment and relief. There are choices to be made. But, what we can’t do right now, maybe we can save for another season. It doesn’t have to be lost just because it doesn’t fit right now.

I’ve learned from Molly that deep happiness and being truly content is about quieting down, slowing the flurry, and listening to our inner voice; she’ll tell us what we need. She’ll tell us what season we’re in.

I’ve got some listening to do…

I’m a Stratejoy girl, which means I dream big, think broadly, and live boldly. I know my potential. Sometimes it’s a burden. Waaa, Waaaa, I know. But, honestly, does all the possibility ever weigh you down, too?

[photo credit: We Heart It]

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Comments (7)

7 Responses to “Relief From “Right Now””

  • Katie [blogs] Says:
    June 25th, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    This hit me in the face hard. Being a Stratejoy girl myself (See, we're REALLY sisters!) I appreciate ALL of the possibilities, but there's just…so freakin' many. There's SO MUCH. I wish I just knew the path to take, so I could take it. So many responsibilities, so many 'want to do's'.

    Love you.

  • Dillan Says:
    June 27th, 2011 at 7:30 am

    Are you kidding me?! I've been thinking about the exact same things this weekend! I just graduated last week, working 40 hour weeks while being a full time student. This morning, no joke, a piece of my tooth chipped off because I've been stressed, grinding my teeth (which I never did before), and not making time for myself and going to the dentist.
    I'm not sure which of all the possibilities I'm going for next, but this definitely needs to be my season of health and self. And getting some help for stress :)
    Great post as always and best of luck in your listening and doing :D

  • Lauriane Says:
    June 28th, 2011 at 6:32 am

    I'm in the exact same place in my life right now Dee… I could have written the same post! I don't know how to deal with all that, but I'm happy to see that someone somewhere is going through the same situation :)
    Good luck to you!!

  • deebuzzing Says:
    June 28th, 2011 at 9:44 am

    Aw, thanks! Isn't it funny how our bodies manifest everything else that's going on in our lives. I also chipped a tooth! Man, we need some self lovin!

  • deebuzzing Says:
    June 28th, 2011 at 9:45 am

    XOXOXOXOXO. I didn't mean to hit you in the face hard :)

  • Lauriane Says:
    June 29th, 2011 at 5:09 am

    Totally :)
    And I also try to remember (easier said than done…) that we are in fact SO freakin lucky to have all these options to choose from…
    Had we been born like a hundred years ago, we wouldn't have had many options in life, maybe no carreer, no possibility of traveling extensively… So I guess it's actually a chance to be able to be overwhelmed by all those possibilities!
    We get to CHOOSE and that's awesome :)

  • My Chameleon Life | Stratejoy | Conquer Your Quarterlife Crisis through Fresh Strategies for Real Joy Says:
    July 2nd, 2011 at 5:52 pm

    [...] can be an advantage, I know. Really, this is a bit of an extension of my thoughts from last week- there’s just so much! If I choose who to be, then I eliminate possiblity, which scares me. If I decide that I am [...]

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