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Only Six Months?! Looking back on Season 4

posted 31st July 2011    Written by: Juliana    CATEGORY: All Posts, Juliana, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4

In some ways, I can’t believe six months have gone by.  In other ways, I can’t believe it’s only been six months. It’s a similar feeling when you’re in love and you realize you’ve been together for a year, but it feels both shorter and longer than that. I don’t mean that I’m in love with my other Stratejoy ladies (though they are pretty awesome) but rather that the richness of our collective experience here has totally messed with my sense of time.  We’ve fallen in love, changed careers, changed countries, become parents, planned weddings and learned so much about ourselves. Wow.

Six months ago, my primary state of being was exhaustion.  I was listless, bored, sluggish, and had lost a lot of the “spark” that I used to be known for. I felt defeated. There was also a part of me that was angry:  Angry at myself for letting it get to this point, and angry that I seemed to be resigning to it. Through a lot of reflection (and some of the exercises in The Joy Equation) I was able to get back in touch with myself and what I really wanted.  I filled out an application for Season 4 and this crazy journey began.

 My goals…

My goals for this half of the year were to get my energy back & understand my health more, to work on becoming a creativity coach and foster my music career, and to learn to love myself enough to remember and reconnect with the things that light me up.

How’d I do?

I have learned so much about my own body in these last six months.  Though I’m still a long way away from my goals, I am feeling so much healthier.  I’m taking naps when I can, eating the right stuff, and being much more active.  ”Tired” is no longer my default feeling.  I’ve had a poem published, gone on tour and am almost finished with a creativity coaching certification program (just have to take an exam!) and I’ve spent four weeks in Nashville, TN exploring the possibility of a songwriting career there.

As far as reconnecting with delight, I’ve gotten to swim in the ocean, paint, play with my baby niece, learn more about cooking, hang out with old friends and make some new ones, see a whole bunch of live shows, and go on regular dates with the hubs.  I cannot even begin to express how much happier I am now than I was at the start of February, and it’s not because great things have happened to me, but because I’ve learned how to cultivate and care for my own happiness.

 The Most Important Thing…

As I leave to become part of the Stratejoy Alumni, the most important thing I’d like to leave you with is that, no matter how extraordinary all of our journeys have seemed to you, they are achieved by ordinary means. All of us have taken small steps, made tiny changes, that have added up to big, huge leaps and results. Yes, some of those changes seem to come on fast – but there have been lots of little things going on in the background to lead to those things.  We are not “special” in the sense that we are different and somehow more able than you are – you are just as capable of changing your life for the better.  In fact, I highly recommend you apply for Season 5 if you’re feeling stuck in a QLC or in need of some changes in your life.

I have changed a lot and I continue to evolve, and slowly but surely I’m becoming the woman I want to be. Being a Stratejoy blogger gave me a container to explore that process, and I am so blessed to have been able to share it with my fellow bloggers, and share in your stories through comments and emails.  I hope you’ll keep in touch with me at my own blog, my music website, and on Twitter (@writeplayrepeat) so we can keep this conversation going.

 

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Then, Now, and What’s Next

posted 29th July 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Katharine, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

Somehow over the last six months, I learned to connect the dots.  Somewhere between the Czech Republic and Australia, I learned to fix the broken pieces and repair the damage.

It’s hard to believe that this is the last time I will write for Stratejoy.  What an incredible journey its been.

Six Months Ago…

I was broken, damaged, depressed, and spiraling into a scary black hole.  I had just lost my comfortable Corporate job and didn’t know what the next step was because no one prepared me for a devastating job loss.  I decided that the only way I could save myself from an unhappy lifestyle was to leave it.  So I packed my bags, said goodbye to friends and family, and moved to Prague to get certified to teach English as a second language.

There, I met 23 wonderful people from all over the world and discovered a new passion for education and for life.  I struggled with language barriers, culture shock, and the stress of lesson planning, but I created some priceless memories in Prague that outweigh any negative feelings of the experience.

Of course, little did I know that that certificate would open so many doors for me and lead me on a journey of a lifetime.

Now…

I’m living in a 4-bedroom flat in Sydney, Australia that I share with three other men.  I’m teaching private lessons and taking on more freelance writing projects.  I’ve created a good friend-base in Sydney, connected with a blogger from back home who has been living here for over a year, reconnected with some friends from America whom I haven’t seen in a few years, and I’m in the healthiest relationship of my life.

I went sky diving, discovered forgiveness, and uncovered loneliness in the Land Down Under.  I learned to cover the scars and open wounds with new adventures and experiences full of love, passion, and gratitude.  I gained confidence in traveling solo.  I shattered comfort zones and crossed boundaries.  I struggled with language barriers and culture shock.  But most importantly, I found happiness in Australia.

What’s Next…

I’m going bungee jumping in New Zealand in a few weeks and celebrating my 28th birthday in September in my new home with my new friends (and some old ones).  I’m going to Cairns to see the Great Barrier Reef and this summer (or winter for all of you folk in America), I’m going to learn how to surf.

I’m planning trips to South Africa and South America in 2012 and I added “build a language school in Africa” to my life list.

I’m taking life by the balls and running with it.  Wherever it takes me and whatever it throws at me, I’m going to face it all with courage and grace.  I’m going to open my heart up to extraordinary possibilities and never look back. 

Some Advice:

Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to, but that’s no reason to stop living for the moment.  I know it’s hard, I know it can become overwhelming, depressing, and stagnant at times, but you have to keep pushing through it, figure out what you want to do with your life, and then go do it.

I won’t lie, it’s fucking scary as hell to leave everything you know and start over, but it’s even scarier to know that you never tried to make a change, chase your dream, quit your job, or travel the world.  Stop settling for a mediocre life.  Stop making excuses.  Stop complaining about not being able to do certain things with your life.  You can do whatever you want, but you have to have the will to try.

Start living with passion and intention.  Start making a list of all of the things you want to do with your life and then go do them. Tomorrow is promised to no one.  We only have today and we only have one life to be happy, live passionately, and smile intently.  So, go out there and live your best life.  And while you’re at it, stalk me stay in touch:

facebook | twitter | travel blog

Thank you to all of my readers for supporting me through this amazing experience.  Thank you to my Season 4 Sisters for letting me share this experience with you.  Thank you to Katie for all of the brainstorming g-chat sessions and ‘behind the scenes’ stuff that you do for Stratejoy.  Thank you to Molly for creating Stratejoy, letting me be a part of Season 4, and empowering women to fight the QLC and take control of their lives.

Sending you all mad love from the wonderful world of Oz!

 

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Reclaiming A Life: Bold And Fearless–Revisited

posted 28th July 2011    Written by: Bri    CATEGORY: All Posts, Bri, Life Lesson, Love/Relationships, What I've Learned

Dear Tribe,

Who knew so much could happen in 6 months?  I just spent the morning reading through all of my posts and I am in awe.  I remember when I started my Stratejoy season I felt like big things were on the way; like I was standing on the edge of a huge cliff and all I had to too was take one step and my life would never be the same.  My goal was to figure out what I would be defined by.  I had spent so much time being defined by things I didn’t have a choice in, the heartbreak, the parents with addictions, the family illnesses.  I wanted to chose what would define me.

Up until five months ago, I would have never described myself as ballsy.  I liked my life, my job, my friends… but something felt hollow in it all.  I felt really lucky to have the things I did, but feeling like I had everything because of lucky breaks left me feeling uneasy; I didn’t feel like I had ownership of my life.  I wrote “I want to know I deserve this amazing life I live because of risks I took.  I want to set my life on fire and reclaim ownership of it.”

A week after I wrote about a weekend I cried putting on a duvet cover by myself because I felt so overwhelmingly lonely, everything changed.  I went to a friends house and something clicked with this guy I had known for a few months.  I was scared but I wanted to live my life boldly right?  Boldness didn’t mean being reckless with my heart, it meant taking the risk and opening my heart up.  Being open to the big feelings; it doesn’t get much bolder than that. 

From there I learned to trust myself and I fell hard and fast.  Trust in myself was a good skill to have because somewhere in that time period I got pregnant.  It would be a couple of weeks before I found out, but it was done. The first few weeks of my relationship with Mr. A I learned that being in love wasn’t a cure-all for all the insecurities and baggage I carried.  Instead of being cured I became hyper-aware that all my relational bad habits could seriously hurt my new relationship if I did not work on solving them.  As much joy as Mr. A bring into my life, I am always going to be responsible for my own happiness.  I still have to learn to face confrontation and ask for what I want (strangely husbands are REALLY bad at reading minds).  I am a work in progress and I am learning the fierce self-love involves heaps of forgiveness and grace for myself.

My season of Stratejoy will always be the season I found out I was pregnant, but my pregnancy does not define me.  Meeting my husband and getting pregnant were simply life events (granted, they sure happened quickly but sometimes that’s how it goes).  My story is so much more complex than just a bullet list of “things that have happened to me” in the past six months.  What defines me is how I responded to the life events that have come my way.

I wasn’t expecting to find my husband in these six months, but I responded boldly.  I faced some fears, trusted myself, and found a soul that is so complimentary to my own that I am in a state of constant awe.  There are things I learn every day about him or us that make me feel so lucky, but there is no doubt that I (and we) completely own our relationship and our marriage.

I wasn’t expecting to get pregnant during my six months here, but I responded boldly.  I drove to Mr. A’s house the night I took my pregnancy test and I was so scared.  It took us all of a few hours to decide that we loved each other and we were going to do this; and we haven’t looked back.  No regrets.  No beating myself up for totally messing up my birth control regimen.  Mr. A. and I made the decision, grabbed each others hands, and started moving forward.  I am so proud of the way he and I have navigated the past six months together.  We’ve done it together.

I have never been more happy than I am right now.  I have never felt more ownership of my life.  I am bold and fearless, and I know that being part of Stratejoy was a huge source of courage for me.  Watching the rest of the season’s bloggers make huge leaps of faith in their own lives has been inspiring.  I wanted to live my life in a way that would inspire the same thirst for boldness I saw in the other women’s stories.  I am so grateful to have been associated with this season, Molly, Katie, and the whole Stratejoy tribe.  As Laura said yesterday:

Being a part of this tribe has meant belonging a whole new world – one where looking inward, having balls, speaking up, and admitting we’re scared is par for the course. That world has brought me comfort, joy, inspiration, knowledge, and tools for self lovin’ and honest livin’. Its like one big authenticity orgy. 

Thank you for being a part of my journey.  I hope you’ll stay in touch, you wouldn’t want to miss adorable baby pictures would you?  (@habbala)

All the Love in the World,

Bri

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It’s time to apply for the Season 5 Bloggers!

posted 27th July 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Molly, Quarterlife Crisis, Stratejoy the Biz

I know some of you we’re wondering, “Did I miss applications?”  Nope!  This is the official call for Season 5! This is your chance to write about your personal journey for 5 months, September through January. We’re doing a slightly shorter season to make for some cool things in August and in February…

What’s happening in August?  A little experiment I’m calling “Adventures in Flourishing”.  I’m taking over the blog for an entire month to share a bunch of new ideas about joy/leadership/flourishing/spirituality with you!  I’m a little scared about it to tell you the truth, but I hope you’ll love it and really learn some practical ways to live more joyfully day-to-day.

Enough about me already, this is about you!  If you’re interested in building our Stratejoy community by sharing your personal journey as a 20/30 something woman and are currently in the midst of some sort of Quarterlife Crisis, then this opportunity is for YOU!

Wahoo!  Read on, sugar pop.

Just in case you miss this at the bottom:
APPLICATIONS ARE DUE BY FRIDAY, AUGUST 12th.  NO EXCEPTIONS.

WHY?

Here at Stratejoy we value Inspiration, Joy, Authenticity, Courage, Clarity, Camaraderie, and Honesty.  The ultimate vision is a practical and thriving “authentic happiness” movement that reaches woman worldwide. I want to change the world by teaching women how to value their own happiness and strength.  In my mind, a world of fulfilled joyful women equals radical acts of goodness, widespread emotional and physical health, creative expression, equality, and core level compassion.

That’s where you come in!  I want to share your story. I think it’s vital to share our tales of “hitting bottom” in our Quarterlife Crisis, as well as the journey we are on to put our own happiness first.  As a generation, we don’t want to be preached to… We want to recognize ourselves in the stories we read and feel a sense of connection.  We want to see that others go through the same struggles and be inspired by their success.

We don’t want to feel alone. That’s why I need you to share your journey!

HOW?

I am looking for 3-6 women to guest blog once a week on Stratejoy for a minimum of 5 months. The posts will go live in September 2011, but the writing begins in August. I have had an amazing amount of interest thus far and are looking to find the right fit between diverse bloggers, a growing community, and reaching MORE WOMEN!

Position is unpaid, but super cool… You would be doing it out of love of Stratejoy or some need to document this part of your life. I would appreciate you, support you and give you access to all the tools, courses and inspiration I have available. Promise.

Desired

* Attitude. It doesn’t matter if you don’t have your own blog, but I need you to have sass! Or humor!  Or soul!  Or blistering intelligence! Or an amazing authenticity! Or an unique perspective on the world! Or some such combination of fabulousness…
* Desire to share your story in real time in order to inspire other woman without preaching or judging.
* Tech savy with WordPress or other blogging software.

Required

* Honesty. The struggles, the doubts, the celebrations and the breakthroughs.  This is not the place to pretend you’re perfect or create an online “brand”.  This is raw.
* Mad writing skills. Complete and utter love of the written word.
* One post per week with photo(s). Some will be posed questions/themes, most will just be personal updates from your life and require original thought from you.  Posts need to be completed ON TIME and with your best effort.  If you’re applying, you’re telling me you can commit to the workload. Please make sure you have time to write one post per week for the next 5 months.
* Posting with your first name, age, twitter account, city and photo. Last name NOT required.
* Conference call monthly (or at my discretion) with your proud mama (me) and the other bloggers.

Discouraged

* The reason you want to guest blog on Stratejoy is to promote your own business. It’s totally cool with me if you talk about your biz since it’s part of your life and your QLC, but that cannot be why you want to be a part of this project.
* You’re a freelance writer is who looking at this gig as a way to enhance your portfolio.  It will do that! But if that’s the only reason you’re here, it’s not the right fit.
*If you feel totally and radically finished with your QLC. Good for you! But not good for sharing a real time journey…
*You are a Coach.  Sorry dolls, I’m running the show on this site! Can’t pretend otherwise. That said, I am always looking for collaborators/affiliates/business partners who want to get “Stratejoy” certified- so get in touch if you’re interested!

APPLY

I want to hear from you! If you’re interested in blogging for Stratejoy, please send the following information by Friday, August 12, 2011.  Don’t forget to follow all the directions!

1. Name, day job, job-you-do-out-of-love-if-you-have-one, city, age, Twitter/Facebook links & metrics, website (if applicable)

2.  Phone number and best time to reach you.

3. Photo that expresses your most authentic self

4.  250 words on “Why I will make a Rockin’ Stratejoy Blogger”

5.  500 word introduction to you and your story. Great chance to tell me about your QLC…   Pretend you are writing your very first blog post!  Go back and read the first posts of Seasons 1-4 if you want to see some winning entries.

It would be most awesome if you created a word document or PDF with all the information so I can easily print and review. Hurrah! Also, if you applied for Season 1 or 2 or 3 or 4, it’s fine to apply for Season 5– but I do need a new application from you! Just let me know that you applied for a previous season.

Please know that each application is absolutely considered. Final bloggers are chosen at my discretion and based on several factors: writing skill, current situation, diversity, personality, love of Stratejoy and unique contribution.

Send all info to our new Community Manager Katie Colihan. Email applications to katie [@] stratejoy [.] com by the deadline.

<————————- This is Katie.  She loves answering your questions!

I’d like to take a quick moment to thank Katie (of Season 2 fame) for being the most amazing Editor and Big Sister to the bloggers of Seasons 3 & 4.  She’s been an incredible volunteer for the past year and I’m thrilled to officially make her the first paid employee at Stratejoy.  Eeeeekkk!  Thrilling! We’ve got some great things in store for you.

Get writing ladies!

I am so ridiculously excited to read/memorize/adore your application and put together an amazing team for Season 5.

Love,

p.s.  Not interested in blogging, but interested in a volunteer position?  Starting in the fall, I’m putting together a tiny virtual team and looking for women to contribute in the following areas…  Graphic Design, Public Relations, and Website/SEO Madness.  Hit me up if you’d like more information! And it’s seriously happening this time.

p.p.s.  Registration for the 10 week group coaching action programs is OPEN and FILLING FAST!  Is it a fit for you?  Find out Now!

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Signing Off and Thanking You

posted 27th July 2011    Written by: Laura    CATEGORY: Laura, Season 4, Stratejoy the Biz, What I've Learned

Dear Stratejoy Tribe,

It’s just after noon on a Saturday. I just finished a warm, delicious, oceanside yoga class. My mind is clear, my heart open, my feet grounded, my belly hungry, and my shoulders hot from the sun. As I try to preserve the peace for a little while, this is the perfect moment in which to thank you. This is the last time we’ll meet here, at least for a while, and I’m confident the timing is right. Looking back over the last six months, I realize I’ve grown a lot in special, subtle ways.

I abandoned my goal of running a half marathon and instead ran a 10 km with one of my favorite people in the world. We didn’t train properly and we weren’t prepared, but we had fun, felt alive and congratulated ourselves for getting out of bed and showing up no matter what. It was a day to remember.

I gained more clarity about my personal values than I could have imagined. In particular, acknowledging my need for courage and vitality has allowed me to understand myself so much better.

I created wedding plans that felt amazingly right for Hunny and I, and made no apologies for discounting everyone else’s expectations. Knowing I could share my thoughts with you, and that you would totally relate, gave me the conviction I needed. Knowing that you, too, try to listen to your heart above all else allowed me to fully trust mine.

I had the guts to create a family budget and admit my weird money obsessions. In doing so, my anxiety in this area has drastically decreased. Again, your support helped me get there.

I laid a lot of honest expectations, desires and hesitations on the line for my business partners. I found renewed motivation to exercise regularly. I let myself hibernate when I was feeling emotionally drained. I did some serious releasing, through my posts on marriage, fulfillment, love, and obsessions with more. I discovered that alone time is one of the most rejuvenating inputs I can give myself and I started giving myself more of it.

Perhaps most exciting is that I progressed to a place where I’m ready to explore new ideas for expressing my creativity, collecting and sharing my thoughts, and growing as a business owner.

Over these last six months, my accountability to you has inspired me to acknowledge things, seek resolutions, and dig for meaning. For that, I am very, very grateful. I can only hope that you’ve benefitted from reading some of my posts, as I have from writing them. I hope that I sparked some ideas, some reflection, some Mmm Hmms, and some Ah Has.

There’s no question in my mind, my discovery of Stratejoy over a year ago was a tipping point. Feeling entrenched in this world now, I can’t imagine it any other way. From season 2′s Nicole Antoinette and Heather Rae, to season 3′s Doniree, Marian and Nikki – these women and so many others continue to inspire me with their realness. From the things I learned in the Joy Equation, to the growth, connection and friendship I gained from Get It Off the Ground. Not to mention, the countless people, blogs, products, and businesses all of this has led me to discover.

Being a part of this tribe has meant belonging a whole new world – one where looking inward, having balls, speaking up, and admitting we’re scared is par for the course. That world has brought me comfort, joy, inspiration, knowledge, and tools for self lovin’ and honest livin’. Its like one big authenticity orgy. 

As I sign off for the last time, I leave you with this final thought: feelings of uncertainty and restlessness are loaded with potential, and they deserve to be honoured, rather than buried.

For most of us, our thirst for loving, leading and listening will never be fully quenched. It is part of who we are. It’s a defining characteristic of our generation. Which is precisely why I’ll continue to do my best to own that shit and will always be cheering you on as you do the same. So please, keep in touch (@mynameisbigL).

With love, admiration and gratitude,
Big L  -xo

{Photo credit}

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