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The Well-Being Theory & My Happiness Scores

posted 11th August 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

And it continues.  You know when you put something out into the world with no idea what you’re doing or where it’s going or who will be interested?  That’s exactly what this experiment is…

As I’ve been thinking about how I want to structure what I’m communicating to you, I realized I probably started off in the middle, instead of from the beginning!  I didn’t explain any of the background or frameworks or put together a logical plan of where this was going…

Oops!

Although I’ve been pondering this blog takeover for a few weeks, I really didn’t make a plan.  I just dove in on Monday (read the first post on my Happiness Experiment via Positive Psychology here) when I realized it was absolutely time to take some control back over my own well-being.  And I dove in with a few of my go-to tricks to “restart”:  give something “bad” up and add something “good” to the mix under the umbrella of passive/active leisure.

My first measurements of flourishing have the best intentions behind them,  but I’m realizing that they may not have been the appropriate “STEP ONE” for our Adventures together.  They have do have a purpose and a place, but the timing was off.  I’m not letting them go, because I honestly feel more content (though still craving a glass of wine at night), but I do want to back up…

Framework time dear one!

WELL-BEING THEORY

(as studied & described by Martin Seligman, PhD, the daddy of Positive Psychology)

“Well-being cannot exist just in your own head; well-being is a combination of feeling good as well as actually having meaning, good relationships, and accomplishment.  The way we choose our course in life is to maximize the five elements that make up well-being.”

The big picture goal of positive psychology is to increase the amount of flourishing (exercise of the above elements) in our own lives and on the planet.  Flourishing can be used as one measurement of the health of a country, a corporation, a school system, or an individual.  It can be measured, tracked, built upon, and improved upon through exercises and interventions.

One key piece in the research about the “how” of flourishing is the use of your signature strengths and virtues (perhaps 4 or 5 of the 24 measured strengths) in pursuit of the five elements of well-being.

Whew!  I tried by best to break down several texts into the above description… ;)

The Well-Being Theory is the Seligman’s latest answer to the question, “What makes up the good life”?

I dove into that framework to help give you a little of the background of how I’m looking at these next 8 weeks. Obviously the scientific side of “Adventures in Flourishing” is just one piece of the whole.  It does, however, give categories to other pieces I’ll be exploring.

My experience of spirituality and Buddhism will fall under the Meaning Element.  My re-balancing of my active/passive leisure time (also described as pursuit of pleasure vs pursuit of gratification) will fall under the Engagement Element.  The honoring of my values of love and family will fall under the Positive Relationship Element.  And my dedication to the development of a Personal Leadership course falls under Achievement and Engagement and Positive Relationships!

BASE-LEVEL

The other piece that was missing from my first post was some level of starting measurement.  How will I know if Adventures in Flourishing improved my own level of happiness or well-being?  I can subjectively report “damn I feel good,” but being the geek that I am about this stuff, I’d like a little more….

I took three base-level measurements.  All of these assessments can be taken for free at http://www.authentichappiness.org.  I plan on taking them again in 8 weeks to see if there is a noticeable difference in my scores!

The Authentic Happiness Inventory

Meaning in Life Questionnaire
(Have to say the results on this one surprised me.  Indicative of being in a low mood this last month? Overwhelmed by all of THE THINGS?  Not sure.  Subjectively I would have told you I feel a strong sense of purpose in my life…)

The Satisfaction with Life Scale

So there we go!  A base level measurement and a Positive Psychology Framework to get us started off on the right foot. 

Do you have a minute?  Head over to the Authentic Happiness Website, take the base level tests that I took, and report back to me in the comments with YOUR scores!  And an update on your engagement commitments if you made them on Monday.

I’ll be checking back in soon.

In the meantime, I’m off to Seattle to teach a workshop for the US Army at a Women’s Retreat.  Wish me luck!

 

ENGAGEMENT

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Stratejoy Love Bomb Mission

posted 9th August 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Events, Molly, Quarterlife Crisis

Whew! So much goodness going on… We’re in full on work mode getting things ready for Season 5 over here.  I’m absolutely loving the chance to hear more of your story. Have you sent in your application to be a Season 5 blogger yet? Deadline is this Friday, August 12th.

And though I’m in the middle of Adventures in Flourishing, we’re doing a little something different, but incredibly awesome, today. We’re teaming up for a super-big world-dominating mission with Love Bomb to change, brighten, or even save someone’s life.

What is this Love Bomb thing?

Love Bomb was started by Nate St. Pierre to go along with his life mission to “Change the World”.

Fun Fact: Nate writes “Change the World” on his palm every single day.  Just as a reminder.  Which is funny because lots of days I write “Do Good” or “Believe” or “Spread Joy” on my wrist or palm…   Sharpies and Passion. Quite the combo.

Love Bomb has one sole mission: To save lives.

Members of the Love Bomb team nominate people that they know (who blog) to receive a Love Bomb. Whether someone is facing depression, loss of a parent, loss of a child, financial difficulty, suicide recovery, even the Quarterlife Crisis (which we all know can rock the hell out of your world) they’re eligible to receive one of these bursts of love. If they’re having a hard time dealing with this crazy thing called life, and need a pick me up?  Then Love Bomb wants to know about it.

Each week (from hundreds of nominations) someone is chosen and the Love Bomb Team gets their mission delivered to them, which simply consists of taking five minutes, visiting the person’s blog indicated, and leaving a comment of support.

Yep. That’s it.

But it does amazing things.

So, where do Stratejoy and YOU come in?

This week, we’re part of the Love Bomb Team. They’re asking YOU to nominate someone who you know that could really use a little jolt of joy, a burst of beauty, a whole lot of love and hugs.  We get the amazing chance to DELIVER A LOVE BOMB to someone in our Tribe.

KAPOW!!  I’m so excited.

The only requirement? The person you nominate has a blog, that they use it semi-frequently, and that we can comment on their blog. (Make sure comments aren’t closed, turned off, etc.)  And you have to get your nominations in TODAY!

On Thursday, check out the Love Bomb Blog or the Stratejoy Facebook Page — we’ll be announcing the Love Bomb recipient.

To nominate someone you think really needs a little love in the form of hundreds or thousands of words of support, shoot an e-mail to dropalovebomb |at| gmail |dot| com.  Like, now.

Wanna do this awesome mission every week with Love Bomb?  Head on over to the Love Bomb Website and subscribe to receive Love Bomb Mission e-mails.  They only come once a week and it gives you a chance to truly brighten someone’s world.

And because I promised I’d be checking in…

  1. Stop Drinking: 2 days Sober.
  2. Stop Hulu.com:  2 days TV free.
  3. Write in the Morning: 2 days complete.  (Joy Juice today!  I love writing the journal prompts, knowing loads of you will be using them to connect to yourself.)

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Adventures in Flourishing

posted 8th August 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

No adventure is complete without an opening dance sequence.

Remember Adventures in Babysitting?  I mean, who didn’t love Elizabeth Shue lip-synching her heart out? Go ahead! Get up and groove for 2 minutes before we begin our adventure together…

I will admit I’m completely ripping off the title of this post and my forthcoming August blog series from two sources:  the classic 80′s movie above and Martin Seligman’s Flourish:  A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being.  Other sources of inspiration include Seligman’s Authentic Happiness, Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection, Chogyam Trungpa’s Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior, Sakyong Mipham’s Ruling Your World, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life.

Ready?  Welcome to…

ADVENTURES: A risky undertaking of unknown outcome. An exciting or unexpected event or course of events.

FLOURISH: To grow well or luxuriantly; thrive. To do or fare well; prosper. To be in a period of highest productivity, excellence, or influence.

What exactly am I undertaking?  A month of immersion in applied Positive Psychology, inspired by the books above, filtered through my own experience.

It’s a commitment to all those personal best practices that I know make me the most vibrant and centered Molly possible, based on scientific studies of motivation, optimism, and character.  It’s a personal experiment, not a preaching tool. It’s an inquiry into my own version of the good life.  I’m going to be sharing my ups and downs with you, regardless of how I feel it makes me look.  It could get messy.  It could fail miserably.  It could be a raging success.

I’m open to whatever comes.  That’s part of the adventure!

WHY NOW?  Most of you know I just moved to San Diego, right?  Well, it’s been a million times harder than I thought it would be.  There.  I admitted it.

I’m homesick for my sister, my girlfriends in Seattle, and all the creature comforts I knew how to access without thinking in a familiar city.  The Big Man is working long days at an actual office (Gasp! We’re not together 24/7!) and I’m trying to settle back into a productive, creative work routine, with a few more family and business responsibilities than I had previously.  Though the weather is amazing, the beach access parallel to none, and the city vibe friendly, I don’t feel anywhere close to at home.

To top it off, I feel guilty about not loving my life right now.  I mean, hello!  I’m in a gorgeous place, continuing to work on my dream business, totally in love with my husband, completely healthy and not wanting for anything…

Who am I to complain? Especially on my website that promotes strategies for joy!   Especially when I have access to so many cool tools and ways to tap into well-being.  I’m supposed to be the expert here!  I teach other people how to value their happiness and embrace their strengths.  Gasp, cough, imposter syndrome, mascara smears, downward spiral, self-imposed isolation…

(Insert pained face and rolling of the eyes.)

See the conversation I’ve been having in my head?  To blog about the low points or not?  To share with you the down times or only highlight the awesome?  I made a promise to you in the beginning of Stratejoy to be honest and authentic. And though it feels completely vulnerable right now, I’m sticking to that!

I need to take some of my own medicine. I want to stop procrastinating on some healthy and creative habits, and I want to let go of some unhealthy crutches.  It’s time to dive into Adventures in Flourishing!

 

Clear the Slate.

One of the things that has become abundantly clear to me in this last month is that I’ve been distracting myself from my own life by relying on passive leisure, instead of engaging in active leisure.  Passive leisure are things that feel “nice” but require little thought, ability, or skill: television, junk novels, internet surfing, alcohol, etc.  Active leisure activities are still “fun,” but they require you to engage, learn, create, or otherwise experience flow: sports, creative pursuits, cooking for pleasure, dancing, playing games, learning a new hobby, or gardening are a few examples.  Ideally, active leisure provides feelings of “being in the zone” — intense pockets of time where goals are clear, feedback available, and your skill level is slightly pushed by the challenge.

I’ve been indulging in two main distractions in my life right now: drinking and hulu.com…  Neither are necessarily “bad”, but when they come at the expense of other activities in my life, I know I’m out of balance.  When they become forms of comfort or “check out time” instead of appreciated pleasures, I know it’s time to reign them in.  I want to feel like I’m in control of my personal choices, instead of the reverse.

As the ever-inspiring priestess, Danielle LaPorte says, “What’s on your Stop Doing List?”

To clear the slate for this month:

  • I’m giving up drinking for the time being
  • Restricting my television time to the occasional movie with the Big Man

Is this permanent?  Who knows?  But I want to experiment with the extra time and energy by devoting it to a flow activity that I’ve been neglecting lately…  Writing.

Add in One Flow Activity.

Writing is one of those things I keep saying I love, but it gets pushed to the bottom of my to do list.  Especially when I’m overindulging in my distraction crutches of alcohol and t.v!

So…  It’s on, baby.  I am devoting the first two hours of my working days (Monday to Friday) to writing, somewhere between 7:30 am and 11 am.  I can work on blog posts, newsletters, guest posts, Joy Juice Prompts, or content for Reclaim Leadership.  As long as I’m writing (and sipping coffee!) I’m golden.  I want my schedule reflect my priorities and this is the beginning of that process.

Will this be easy? No. Will I report to you how I’m doing?  YES.  But only after I’m done writing.  Social Media is a definite no-no for those 2 hours!

What happens when I don’t feel like I have “time”?  Or have to travel to speaking gigs or have an early morning coaching call?  I don’t know- we’ll find out together.

 

  1. Stop Drinking: 1 day Sober.  (bahahaha!)
  2. Stop Hulu.com:  1 day TV free.
  3. Write in the Morning: 1 day complete.  (You’re reading the product!)

Is anyone going to join me in Adventures in Flourishing?

What will you let go of to clear the slate?  What Flow Activity will you add?  Share in the comments or on the Facebook Wall!  To new adventures and flourishing in life, sista’!

p.s.  Group Coaching Registration ends on Friday! 

 

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On The Road Again…

posted 1st August 2011    Written by: Dee    CATEGORY: All Posts, Dee, Events, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Tips & Tools, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

WAIT, IT’S OVER?!

I was flipping through an old journal the other day. The one with an abundance of to-do lists. At the top of the list, with a star next to it to indicate the importance of the goal, it read, “Write for Stratejoy.”

Check that one off the list. In the last six months, as I’ve navigated my own life with this blog as a backdrop and guide, I won’t tell you how I’ve conquered all of my evils, figured everything out, eliminated toxicity from my life, done  everything I said I was going to do, or even changed that much at all. Truthfully, I’ve often found myself in awe of the other women of this season of bloggers (and past seasons), for their tenacious spirit, for the honesty and grace with which they approach monumental life changes such as having babies, managing businesses, planning weddings and getting married, and traveling the world.

Me? Welp. I’ve been kickin’ it in mid-Missouri for the last six months, pretty much getting through the day-to-day chaos and uncertainty of a college student. Truthfully, having nothing huge going on has made me feel inadequate at times…

BUT THEN BAM!

Lesson: Everyday life offers just as much of an opportunity for growth as the big stuff does. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve made progress thanks to Stratejoy, the Joy Equation, Joy Juice and Deliberate Living Coaching. With Molly and crew, the tribe, family and friends motivating me to shut up and just do what I always talk about doing, I’ve accopmlished some pretty awesome things. I got over my fear of biking in public (yeah, I know), and biked a 30 mile trip to a bluegrass concert. I took my first piano lesson. I filed my graduation plan. I saw a financial advisor and took control of my debt. I registered for a 10K in September. I had a necessary, deeply honest conversation with my parents about my life’s direction and my desire for their understanding and support. I found a sense of empowerment and peace with my spastic dating life as I began to assert myself and command respect. But, best of all, I planned the most incredible adventure.

As we speak, I’m sitting in Miss Molly Mahar’s kitchen in San Diego, sipping some freshly brewed coffee, and in true Stratejoy fashion, I’m thinking about where I’ve been, where I’m going and how they’re intertwined. Obviously, nothing about where I am today and the path I’m on would be possible without this space. After I wrote a post about my goals months ago, an acquaintance from Arizona sent me an email noting my interest in taking a huge roadtrip and suggested we actually do it together.

Lesson: The universe and life are generous givers. They will offer abundance and opportunity if you ask. 

So, yep, I packed my bags and left comfortable Columbia, Missouri this week, flew to Tucson, Arizona, where I met up with our tribe sista Megan, and in the last three days, while soaking up the beauty of the American Southwest, have traveled to San Diego, met the just-as-lovely-in-person-if-not-lovelier Molly Mahar, my truest mentor. As an added bonus I enjoyed a night out in her neighborhood, complete with cocktails and lemon cake, followed by a slumber party in Molly’s adorable home with season 3′s Lindsey.

Adventure, awe, and joy are on the horizon for my traveling partner and me. We’ll drive North up the California coast, stopping off in LA for a party and a tattoo, Santa Barbara for lessons in spirituality, wine, and comfort, continue along scenic Highway 1 to a beautiful hot springs spa, camp in Big Sur, experience the magic of San Francisco with friends, journey through the Redwood forest, donate our energy on a sustainable farm in southern Oregon, couch surf and see what all the Portland fuss is about, travel through beautiful Washington state, take in the sights of Seattle, and head east through Northern Idaho, hitting quaint towns in Montana and Wyoming on the way to our camping adventure in Yellowstone.

Lesson: Set your intention.

It’s just the trip I needed.

Then, though, I’ll return to normalcy in Columbia at the end of August and real life will be waiting. I’ll have to use all of the self-taught lessons I’ve worked through as I’ve written for you to make life just what I want it to be. And then what’ll I be working on? I’ll be remembering that I’ll still always have a lotta goals, be okay with that, understanding that I’m a yearner and that’s something that makes me special. I’ll be reminding myself to live in the present, to avoid bouncing through the moments and only thinking about what’s next, and concentrating on making each day as special as it can be.

“People sacrifice the present for the future. But life is available only in the present.” -Thich Nhat Hanh

Lesson: Enjoy the absolute present, it has so very much to offer.

I mean, it’s all so surreal that I am writing my final post from Miss Molly’s kitchen table. It’s a testament to the amazing, fun, direction life can take you if you pause to reflect on what you truly want and need, and then sit back to enjoy the road trip. It’s a whirl!

“Follow your heart…and see where it might take you.” -Brandi Carlile

BAH! There’s so much left unsaid, so much more I wanted to share here. But, alas, my time is up and I’m on to other things. Signing off, kicking and screaming, owing so much to every one of you.

P.S. Holler at me if you’re in the western U.S. or have suggestions about cool places/travel tips- I wanna see you along the way.

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