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Do What Makes Your Heart Sing

posted 30th September 2011    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: All Posts, Family, Job/Career/Work, Kristen, Life Lesson, Season 5

My job as a museum curator is a big part of who I am.

I know people say you should not let your job define you, but for me, I am doing for pay what I would be doing for fun anyway. I know it may not sound like fun to many, but for me, it’s exactly what I wanted for my life, though I didn’t know it for many years that this was what was meant to be.

When I was a kid, I had dreams of being so many different things at various stages in life :cash register clerk at the local discount store, writer, pediatrician, lawyer, documentary film maker.

Growing up, my parents never put any exceptions on what my brother or I could do in school, extracurriculars, or work. They stressed education and I am very blessed and fortunate to say that because of their support in various forms, I was able to focus on my studies and interests because of that support.

In addition to the amazing family relationship we have, I am so thankful to them for who they raised me to be. They never pushed anything on me, though when I wanted to quit the French horn after a few lessons, they did make a fuss for me to continue ( they had paid in full and no way were they losing their money!)

For example, both my father and brother are artists and graphic designers; my brother from a very early age had an amazing drawing ability, as well as could make anything or fix anything ( he fixed my VCR once with parts from his remote control car). He has an awesome imagination, can think quick on his feet, and loves doing artistic things. The artistic ability was all used up on him it seems.

We used to have ‘arts and crafts’ nights as kids when my dad would give us a project for the weekend to work on; I remember a Thanksgiving themed project where David made a fantastic turkey out of tissue paper; I had a sticky glue mess on construction paper ( and I’m guessing I had more glue on my hands and clothes than on the paper).

But my lack of artistic ability was OK. In fact, my penchant for books, history, and school became my strong suit very early on. I loved going to school- I asked for extra assignments ( yea I’m THAT girl), did my own research projects, anything to absorb more information.

I used to think for awhile that because I was not as artistically inclined as my brother, that it meant I wasn’t creative. It took me awhile to learn that the short stories I would write or the way that I arranged my porcelain dolls on the shelf was an expression of creativity as well. And those were things I loved.

That combined with learning and researching- those were things that made me excited. I went into college thinking that museum work might be a good fit for me because it was a way for me to combine my passion for history and learning with a discipline that I found interesting. I always loved going to museums- in fact, when we went on vacations, everyone in the family got to choose something to do. For me, it was always museum or historic sites.

Sophomore year of college I went to the career center to have the director help me with my resume for internships in museums. When I went into her office, the first thing I saw was a sign above her desk that said in big bold pink letters: DO WHAT MAKES YOUR HEART SING. So simple, but it hit me over the head. No one, not even my parents, who had supported any endeavor I ever went on, had told me that.
And since then I’ve been on the path to finding the thing that makes my heart sing.

It’s always been about history, art, research, writing. It has changed and evolved as I have tried out different types of jobs within the museum field. Working on exhibits, researching and interpreting collections are my favorite thing; the current job I have now, where I have been for three years this month, is doing exactly that- and I couldn’t be happier. Yes, of course, there are frustrating days dealing with people or situations, but most of those fall under the “other duties as assigned.” But I believe so strongly in the work I do- preserving, interpreting, educating about history, art, and culture- that it allows me to overcome those moments with some ease.

The work fulfills me, captivates me- and it makes my heart sing because it is meaningful work. Contributing to society- even if in a small way by preserving artifacts and history for generations to come- is important. What I do in comparison to the rest of the world who are solving real problems and dealing with disease, famine and poverty- that is amazing work. What I do is small, but rewarding, and important too.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about next steps in my career and what I want to do next. I love the idea of working with smaller museums and local historical societies to help them connect better to their communities and history. I want to do more research and a lot more writing too. I think a lot about going back to grad school for my PhD, but after being in school for eighteen straight years (!!), I very much enjoy reading and writing what I want on my own schedule.

As I’m figuring out life on my own, I’m very lucky to have the stability of a great job so I won’t be making any big changes in the career area any time soon. But I’m always thinking about ways to further fulfill my insatiable quest for learning and curiosity, and always, always doing what makes my heart sing.

Photo Credit: [ Women working during World War II, one of my interests via Wikimedia Commons]

 

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Conquering the Mission Holding Me Back

posted 29th September 2011    Written by: Dusti    CATEGORY: All Posts, Creativity, Dusti, Quarterlife Crisis

I’ve been grappling with writing this stupid manifesto for months now. I’ve known it’s needed written since May. I’m really excited to write it and share it with the world! But somehow, it keeps getting pushed to the backburner. Why?

Well, honestly, a couple of reasons.

I don’t have a solid grasp on what it needs to say. I want this short piece to form the foundation of everything else I do from this point on. The holy grail of my blog. The big idea – the mission – that inspires everyone else to get onboard and go with me wherever this crazy train goes.

That’s pressure. Self-applied pressure, granted, but still. What if I decide to change course midstream? Will my people still be behind me? Will they still be interested in sharing a mission and taking it to new heights on different levels? Will they even like the idea I start with?

For any of you familiar with the StrengthsFinder test, my chief strength is input. That means I absorb information like a sponge. I’m great at synthesizing ideas, but I have issues standing behind an idea or way of thinking for long because I’m constantly analyzing and adding new information.

Okay, confession time.

I’m afraid of commitment. Not like I can’t hold down a relationship type of commitment. It’s more like I’m terrified of committing to an idea or belief system. And it’s starting to hold me back.

That’s why I’ve been holding off on writing this thing. It’s a statement of what I believe and what I’m looking for. And being in the midst of a QLC, these are the major things I’ve been struggling with. Most of August, I felt like I was stuck and had no idea which direction to go next.

That’s when I started the Joy Equation. Now, being a writer in the lifestyle design niche, I’ve seen a LOT of personal development guides like it. I’ve even started a few of them.

But, as I started to go through the exercises, I found that I wasn’t just engaged – I was smiling the entire time I was going through the guide. Even with the tough topics, I was so happy just to have it written and out of my system! What a relief. I did think something – something I could stand behind without any doubt.

Like my values! I thought I had them pretty well refined, but it turned out I had been operating under limiting beliefs of sorts. I’d never given myself room to explore what my values looked like in a larger context. The definitions helped, too. Defining something makes it easier to understand and implement.

Here’s what I came up with:

This was such a massive discovery for me. I knew freedom, adventure, and community were important to me, but romance was like finding a missing link.

It was everything I could never find the words to describe before. I knew I was passionate, but finding such a perfect word was empowering and revitalizing. It was like, “Holy crap! I can finally explain to my partner why little things are so important to me!” It was a revolution for my heart.

So here I am now. This is me presenting what I believe without question. The first words in my manifesto are…

“I believe you are beautiful, brilliant, and unique beyond any doubt. There is nothing you can’t do, and there is no situation you can’t overcome.”

Because it’s my truth. And I can commit to truth.

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NOW and THEN

posted 28th September 2011    Written by: Laurenne    CATEGORY: All Posts, Laurenne, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Spirituality

I dipped my toes in the Russian River this weekend. I traveled to Northern California to celebrate my friend’s upcoming nuptials, and it was set up to be the perfect weekend getaway. There was majestic wilderness. There was good wine and tasty brunches. There was a six-foot blow up penis and a hot tub (I realize this may sound dirty, but the penis was strictly for bachelorette-y purposes). There were twelve girls dishing about girly things. And there was relaxation.

Sort of.

That was the plan. On Friday, I would hand in all my writing assignments and have my life organized so that I could spend the weekend floating on a raft in the green valley of Guerneville, CA. THEN, I would be able to relax. That’s what I had told myself for weeks. “Just deal with this big project, Laurenne, and THEN you will be able to relax on the river.”

The idea that a cool river awaited pulled me through August and popped me into September. And then I was there. I finished every single thing I needed to finish, and I was there.

But I wasn’t relaxed. I was more anxious than ever. In fact, as I floated with my feet dangled into the green river, one of my many thoughts was, “Maybe I need some anxiety meds.”

And then I realized: THEN doesn’t exist. Yet, I keep waiting for it.

I tell myself that I need to color my hair. THEN, I can feel pretty.
Once I publish my book, THEN I can stop trying so hard.
Once I have more money, THEN I can relax.
Once I have a garden, THEN I will be happy with my living situation.
Once this project is over, THEN I will email my friends back.

But I’m perpetuating this agonizing wait. I’m torturing myself by actively NOT appreciating what I have NOW.

I’m always waiting. Waiting for the next. Waiting for more time. Waiting for something better. Waiting to finally be recognized. Waiting to feel successful. Waiting to believe I’m worth it. Waiting for THEN to come. But, as I sat in all that wilderness, wondering about my next projects and what will happen THEN, I realized that THEN will forever loom in front of me if I don’t figure out how to replace her with NOW. I want NOW.

This constant need for more, for THEN, has sparked my ambition. It has served me in the past and it has gotten me here, so THEN isn’t all bad. But NOW is nicer. Now says I am worthy right now, that I am successful now, that I am beautiful now, that I am happy now, that I am comfortable now, that I am in the wilderness surrounded by nature NOW.

I want that. I want NOW.

I’d like to say that it all hit me right there in the wilderness and that I’m suddenly only living in the NOW. But I have a trip to Ikea planned today because I feel like I won’t be comfortable in my apartment until I get new curtains and bedding. So, I’m not quite cured. But I am finally aware of my tendency, and that’s the best I can do.

I’ve always thought it was cheesy when people talked about how life is the journey and not the end result, but, dangit, it’s true. When I look at pictures of college, I think about how much I could have relaxed then, how little I had to worry about, how free I was. But I was worried about THEN too. I didn’t enjoy the fact that I was in college, a crazy time for learning and exploring. I know when I have kids and responsibilities and book signings to attend, I will also look back at this time and think about how free I was, how great life was, how young I looked. I need to enjoy this time for the struggle that it is, marvel at how much I’m doing, really feel the excitement of not having any idea what I’ll be doing in a month.

That’s what’s NOW, and if I let myself feel it, it’s actually pretty nice.

I hope I can also thank myself when I look back at pictures of NOW. I hope I can say “That was the time when I stopped thinking and starting looking around.” Yes, that’s what is going to happen.

After Ikea.


[Photo credit : my friend, Aryan. That's me meditating down there!]

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Love Doesn’t Own A GPS

posted 27th September 2011    Written by: Ashley    CATEGORY: All Posts, Ashley, Family, Love/Relationships, Season 5

When I was a little girl and imagined myself in a happy relationship with my future boyfriend, it never occurred to me that we might not live in the same city. Or even the same country.

I was under the impression that I would meet my husband in college and we would get married after we both graduated. We would find steady jobs that we both enjoyed and then create a family together a few years later. Oh, little Ashley, you were so naive.

Obviously, that is not how things happened. Here I am, a fresh 27 years old, living in a one bedroom apartment in my hometown, while my boyfriend is over 2,600 miles away in freakin’ Canada. Not cool, universe. Not cool.

Our story begins back in early 2008 when I first began blogging. Somehow, he and I ended up reading the same blogs and “running in the same circle”. Occasionally we commented on each other’s blogs (PeterDeWolf.com and That Super Awesome Blog, if you’re interested). Once in a while there would be an email exchange back and forth. But it wasn’t until June 2010 that things began to move forward.

I remember reading his blog and thinking, “Geez, I wish I could find a guy who treated me like this! I totally deserve someone like him!”

Yeah, it might seem narcissistic, but in the relationship department I was completely aware of how awesome I am and wasn’t willing to settle for anything less. I believe that is called self-confidence and knowing your worth.

So, June 2010. We’re emailing, every day, constantly. This is a full-on, mind-consuming, butterfly-inducing crush.

Over the next few months we started talking on the phone and soon graduated to Skype.

Looking back, we probably should have discussed it sooner, but it wasn’t until late 2010 that we began seriously talking about the distance. I guess we wanted to be sure that this was for real and not just some internet romance.

We knew the distance was a huge obstacle (hello, 12-hour day of traveling and goodbye, huge chunk of a pay check), but we were determined.

The first time we saw each other June 2011. It was beautiful, awkward, so much fun, a learning experience, and it felt like home. Within the first two minutes, we knew this was only the “first” visit. Since then we spent five glorious days together in August, have another trip planned for October, and are hoping we will be able to spend New Years together for the first time.

It takes a lot of work, but I don’t always mind that most of our conversations are through video cameras and microphones. It makes us put in the effort as we build our foundation. We are actually talking, learning how to solve misunderstandings, and are continuously getting to know each other.

In case it’s not already blatantly obvious, let me put this out there: I love him. I love his kind heart, how he is always thinking of others, how he is the most thoughtful person I’ve ever met. I love that he is incredibly smart, that his interests include sports, astronomy, writing fiction, and his adorably cute niece. I love that he talks about our future and isn’t afraid to share his feelings. I love that he makes me feel like I’m part of the best team out there.

Naturally, my friends and family have concerns. They worry that we “met online” and that perhaps, “he isn’t really who he says he is”. I hope I put that fear to rest with the first visit, when he was, in fact, himself. They worry that I will decide to move to Canada and in the process will be giving up part of myself for a man.

And this is where it ties into my biggest battle of trusting myself and figuring out what I want MY life to be.

I don’t want to create a riff in my relationship with my family because I am trying to follow my heart. I don’t want to disappoint them, but I also have to remember that I am an intelligent, strong, independent woman and I don’t want to disappoint myself either. I don’t want them to think I am giving anything up because, honestly, I feel like I would be gaining so much more than anything I might lose.

I would be gaining closeness with the man I love. I would be pulling that trust, loyalty, humor, respect, and love so much closer.  And to me, that is what life is about.

Sure, the idea of moving to another country freaks me out a little bit (and of course there are visas, and jobs, and living situations, and other crap to figure out), but when the end result is him? It seems totally worth it.

 

[photo credit: beyondbeauty]

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Lead Without Followers

posted 26th September 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Guest Post Rockstar, Life Lesson, Molly

Warning: There is a boy on the blog.  Not just any boy, however… One of my favorite thinkers, down-to-earth philosophers, and upcoming co-teacher for our 2012 Reclaim Leadership Course.

Ladies, I’d like to introduce you to Dave Ursillo.

I met him while jumping out of an airplane in Portland in June and we quickly became fast friends.  I’d been reading his blog for months before that and we’d had a few Skype conversations about being young online entrepreneurs, but to get the chance to hang out and talk about our ideas on the leadership revolution was amazing.

So what’s he doing on Stratejoy?  Well, Dave is a brilliant writer and his book, Lead Without Followers, launches today.  And I feel compelled to make sure I’m doing my part in getting the word out because I believe so strongly in his message (And FYI: I’m not an affiliate and yes, I did buy my own copy!).

Dave was kind enough to take part in a goofy little interview with me (I’m sure most people who interviewed him for this launch were quoting his book and asking deep questions, but I’m always curious in the behind-the-scenes stuff as well…). Enjoy!

MM: Book in 20 words.  And how can we get a copy?

DU: Radically redefining what it means to be a leader based upon what we have within us, already, and right now. You can head over to DaveUrsillo.com, or easily visit the Lead Without Followers page there.

MM: Beverage, music, location of choice while writing.  Be specific!
DU: When I started writing my book, it was: large iced banana hazelnut coffee from favorite South Boston cafe, Explosions in the Sky on iTunes and sun pouring in through shimmering tree leaves outside our apartment kitchen window.  Now that it’s done? I want that to become: Home-brewed chocolate macadamia nut Kauai coffee, Red Hot Chili Peppers bumpin’ on the speakers, on a private beachfront property in Hawaii (alright, maybe just a vacation house?).
MM: How do you think leading without followers specifically applies to 20somethings?

DU: We were born into a world that told us the sky was the limit. As 20somethings, that culture is a part of our core. We dream. We yearn to fly- to soar. Lead Without Followers fuels that fire not with hyperbole, but with concrete evidence and strategies that remind us that…

Leadership comes from within, and not what we are “without.”

 

 

MM: I know you’d been dreaming about writing this book for a long time.  Why now?  How did you move yourself into action?

DU: You helped, Molly.  The more I discussed these ideas, the more it resonated so powerfully within me. Sometimes when I talk about Lead Without Followers I literally begin to shake- almost like my nerves are going haywire. It’s what I describe as a source of purpose, meaning, and passion literally resonating so strongly within me that it is making itself physically felt.

I moved myself into action by just starting. Somewhere. Anywhere. Wherever I was. The decision to commit is an important first step. Then you tell family, friends, the world, and they all help you to remain accountable to that decision.

MM: Biggest Oh Shit Moment?  Biggest OMG-this is amazing Moment?

DU: My biggest Oh Shit moment was the entire month of August. Every time I looked at the calendar, the clock, or my to-do list, I spun off into a poetic soliloquy of curses (It’s a family trait). I put myself “under the gun” to meet my deadlines, which I’m usually opposed to, but this book needed to be pressed to print. It’s been 3 years, after all.

My biggest OMG moment was one of my interviews this past week with my friend Lisa Robbin Young, a biz blogger who is brilliant and amazing. In her interview (she will make you feel like you’re getting interviewed on Meet the Press), she read an excerpt from the book, which I realized was the first time I had ever heard someone read something that I had written. It was a surreal experience. Luckily, it also sounded semi-smart.

MM: The book, person, and website that inspires you.

DU: As a writer: Anything by Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Danielle LaPorte’s White Hot Truth
As a 20something: The Art of Happiness in a Troubled World, the Dalai Lama, TinyBuddha
As a regular guy: Tao te Ching, my little cousins, Steve Kamb’s NerdFitness

MM: I heard you’re launching a course with a really brilliant chick called Reclaim Leadership.  What can you tell us about that?

DU: Oh, you mean our paradigm-shifting, world-changing, status-quo-inverting leadership course? Reclaim leadership will teach you a personalized plan for maximizing your inner skills, talents and abilities to become a highly influential leader in your life. Molly and I lay out a step-by-step process through which you gain the tools and tips into naturally becoming “a powerhouse for good,” a radiant and magnetic conduit of the things that you want and need.   (MM note:  Hell yah!  Please ignore our totally out of date splash page, but sign up here if you want to know more about the launch in 2012!)

MM: Why do you love Stratejoy girls? And are you single?

Single? Yes. ;)   When I think Stratejoy girls, I think… Raw confidence. Unabashed openness. Determination. Self-reliance. Purely loving. That’s hot.

MM: What’s the biggest takeaway you want readers of your book to leave with?

A new and empowered perspective on leading in your everyday life, and the incredible impact that you already do have upon the lives of everyone around you.

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