It Only Took Five Years of Ignoring The QLC.

posted 11th September 2011    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Job/Career/Work, Kat, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Travel/Adventure

INTRODUCING: KAT

“I can admit now that I was afraid to be alone.”

 collage of kat

Five years ago: My AmeriCorps year with Habitat for Humanity was ending, and I had no idea what I wanted to do for work. I loved that job—the manual labor, the opportunity to teach, the people—and I didn’t know what type of job I could find to capture those things. I fell into my current non-profit desk job because that was familiar (it was how I made my living before AmeriCorps), I needed an income, and I wasn’t sure how to find something else. I considered moving back to Seattle; however, I decided to stick with New York City and the more traditional type of job that my parents wanted for me.

Three years ago: I was still thinking about leaving New York, still wanting to be somewhere else. This time, I was considering Australia. I could get a work visa, and I’d been interested in living there since I first visited in 1997. My job was boring me, I couldn’t get the promotion I wanted—and believe me, I’d been trying—and I was feeling very stuck career-wise. Then I met a guy and fell—hard—and I chose to stay to see where things that went, even though it didn’t feel quite right. I can admit now that I was afraid to be alone.

One year ago: I’d moved in with my boyfriend and finally gotten promoted at work. Saying that sounds like life was great, except I felt like a shell of myself. Every little thing had me on edge; I would literally cry over spilt milk. It was awful, and it got even worse when just before my 29th birthday, my boyfriend started saying completely horrible things to me. I cried, sobbed, and screamed, and finally, I told him to move out. I was left with the overwhelming desire to get rid of everything I owned and leave New York for good, except I knew that at that point, I couldn’t be happy anywhere. I needed time to rebuild myself first. I breathed. I stayed. I proclaimed on my 29th birthday that the upcoming year would be my year of courage.

Let me tell you: when you make a declaration like that, you’d better be prepared for what’s coming.

Six months ago: Three important events:
1. a management training for work, which led to the realization that I didn’t want my boss’ job;
2. the beginning of my yoga teacher training, which helped me find myself again; and
3. finding a (fortunately benign) lump in my breast, which reminded me that I want to be living life on my terms.

Those three things finally propelled me to acknowledge my quarterlife crisis, to make the type of change that had been on my mind for the past few years. When my boss asked me in a meeting if I was happy at
my job, I simply replied, “No.” That startled both of us, and I knew then that I needed to go for it. I realized that there would never be a perfect time; this was the moment to say yes to myself and figure out the details later.

One month ago: I turned 30, and declared it my year of flourishing. I don’t know what’s coming; all I know is that the traditional path—the desk job, living longer-term in one city, settling into a relationship—hasn’t worked for me. In five days, I’ll no longer be employed. In two weeks, I’ll leave my apartment in Brooklyn one final
time. I’ll head to Seattle and then Europe, traveling for several months, and eventually making my way to Sydney—or maybe Melbourne—to be a photograph-taking, gluten-free pie baking, knitting, tattooed
yoga teacher and blogger.

Watch out, world. I’m coming for you!

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Comments (24)

24 Responses to “It Only Took Five Years of Ignoring The QLC.”

  • Elyse Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 8:07 am

    It is really weird for me as a 25 year old to read what has happened to you since you turned 25. I'm hoping to learn from your story and even at 30 still feel like I can change my life into something amazing. Looking forward to hearing about your Australian adventures!!

  • Kat Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 2:13 pm

    It was really weird–and good–for me to reflect on the past five years and how my life has changed. I hope I'll be able to inspire you and others to see that there is always the opportunity to make a change if you're willing to go after it. The past five years have been a roller coaster of many amazing and many hard things. I've learned a lot, for sure. :)

    Two more weeks and I'm leaving–I can hardly believe it!!

  • twoOregonians Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 2:59 pm

    Funny – I had a breast tissue scare this past year, too. All is well, thankfully, but those moments in the hospital having things checked out really give you time to ponder life and how you're living it. Excited for your story to continue unfolding, Kat! :)

  • Ag Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    Kat! I just discovered this site this weekend. I am in Brooklyn, too. Have been in NYC for 15 years. I am in the midst of changing locations next year (Seattle, hopefully). I want the next 15 to be radical, in a different way. I am so happy to read your story of fearlessness. I think leaving New York is the new coming to New York. Seriously. I am bound to my gut (compass) to make a change. Bumps and all. I can't wait to read about your journey and adventures abroad. As much as I bleed Brooklyn, my dreams are allowed to change (and they have!). I can't wait for them to become real(er). Please keep writing and writing and writing. Much love, Ag.

  • Allison Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 3:12 pm

    This was inspiring! I am so happy for you and truly hope that not only the rest of this year flourishes, but all the rest that are to come! I look forward to following along with you on this journey and hope our paths may cross at some point in the near future!

  • Kate Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 3:49 pm

    I was hoping there was going to be a Season 5 travel-blogger! :) I'm super excited to read about your travels and even more excited to know that you're MOVING to Australia!! Looking forward to following your journey over these next 5 months!

  • KristenCF Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 4:41 pm

    As I'm in the middle of coming out of a relationship and finding myself, reading about you and your figuring out life on the other side is so needed for me. Can't wait to hear about the travels and where life takes you.

  • HannahD Says:
    September 11th, 2011 at 9:47 pm

    Year of flourishing! I love it! I just might adopt it myself. Can't wait to read more about your story. I'm so so excited for you!

  • Natalie Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 6:39 am

    I love that your year of flourishing is starting at age 30! Can't wait to hear more – sounds incredible!

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 9:24 am

    I know these next few months are going to be amazing for you. Also, I lived in NYC for less than two years and it was incredibly hard for me to leave. I can't imagine what it must feel like after you've been there longer. Wishing you the best of luck during your big move!

  • Dusti Arab Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Too excited to hear about your adventures! Wish I could make it to Seattle!

  • Kat Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 11:24 am

    Walking into NYU's cancer center and getting a needle biopsy was terrifying, and I've now been tested for cancer twice this year. I'm glad you're well, too, and that you'll be able to make big awesome changes soon! It's definitely a process that gets you thinking about how short life can be, and how you want to be spending your time.

    Thanks for commenting!

  • Kat Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 11:25 am

    Thanks, Allison! I've hoped that as I'm writing, I can inspire someone(s) to go for it, even if they're afraid they're too [old, broke, stuck, etc.] Also, I think we definitely need to find a way to make our paths cross! <3

  • Kat Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Yes, that's me! :) Thank you for commenting–I'm excited to be following in your footsteps a little as the traveler for this season. I loved reading your story last year and seeing how things grew and shifted for you. And hey, you're going to have to give me some Sydney tips!!

  • Kat Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 11:35 am

    Reading your post definitely connected with some of the feelings I had last year during/after ending my relationship, and I think it's awesome that you're doing this for you. I'm not going to tell you that it's not going to SUCK (I think we both know that's a lie!), but I promise this there will be a day that you wake up and feel alive and electric, and it's so worth that moment. <3

  • Kat Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 11:37 am

    Yay, go for it!!I borrowed it from another friend of mine. It felt…right. :) Thanks, chica!

  • Kat Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 11:41 am

    I figure it's always a good time to flourish! Why should the 20-somethings have all the fun? :) Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

  • Kat Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 11:51 am

    NYC sort of sucks you in, doesn't it? This is the longest I've lived anywhere other than where I grew up, and I really found myself, lost myself, and found myself again here.

    Thanks for the good luck wishes–I need all I can get over the next two weeks! ;)

  • Kat Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 11:52 am

    Thanks, lovely! I wish you could, too; there will just have to be another time. :) (I'm actually switching my permanent address to there, so if/when I return to the States, PNW here I come!)

  • Kat Says:
    September 12th, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    Thank you so much for commenting, Ag! I'm excited to hear that you're committing to make a change–and allowing your dreams to change. One thing that a friend of mine keeps reminding me is that my goal was to leave NYC and go on this adventure, and I'm doing that, so that makes me successful. I feel like that's a good way to look at it, because then I can allow things to shift as they need to once I leave.

    I hope that's a good reminder for you, too, and good luck! Check back in here and keep me posted–you can still love Brooklyn, and you can always come back, but maybe right now it's time to take a leap and fly!

  • laurenne_s Says:
    September 13th, 2011 at 2:50 pm

    So many cool adventures are in the works!!! I am really really really looking forward to seeing where you go and who you meet and what you discover. I love all your ideas.
    And… welcome to 30!! I must say, 30 was my favorite year so far. It comes with lots of trust, which is sort of the best thing ever.

  • Clair Says:
    September 15th, 2011 at 4:27 pm

    I can really relate to so much of this, esp. in particular, the not wanting to be alone and having a health scare that shakes you to your core and makes you realise that yes! you need to do things on your own terms. Come to Melbourne! We have great fun here, the weather is pretty up and down but the city more than makes up for it =)

  • Kat Says:
    September 21st, 2011 at 2:12 am

    Yay, thanks! I love hearing this since you've been here before! I am LOVING 30 so far–and man, that it comes with lots of trust? SOLD.

  • Kat Says:
    September 21st, 2011 at 2:13 am

    Clair, I love Melbourne! I have a lot of family around there, so I'm thinking about it; it is a really great city. :)

    I think we have to experience those things to learn from them, but ick, it's tough when they're happening and hit you pretty hard, right? Glad yours was just a health scare as well and nothing more serious.

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