Reclaiming My Life

posted 16th September 2011    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: Job/Career/Work, Kristen, Life Lesson, Love/Relationships, Quarterlife Crisis

It’s easy to look back at my life and see what went wrong and all the times I should have stood up for me and said what was on my mind, but in the thick of it, it was hard to figure out what was going on in my head.

When I finished graduate school in 2007, I was headstrong and inspired to make a difference in the museum world. I landed a job right away and was so excited that it came with benefits and was close to home, I didn’t think about what I wanted and if it was a good fit for me.

It ended up being that it was nowhere near what I expected and I entered into a sad place and the beginning of the QLC- though I didn’t know it at the time. Living at home, with few friends (most had moved away), I leaned on the boyfriend (now husband) to provide my happiness and excitement, to plan weekends, and took a back seat to my life.

Before this, I wanted to move out of my parents’ house as soon as I was done with grad school and could get on my financial feet. Somehow I ended up staying with them until I bought a house with husband. I went from living under their roof as a daughter to living under one as a wife, never having my independent living as I wanted. In fact, I bought the house in 2009, I did not live in the house until I was a married woman a year later. To see it now with a clearer vision, it makes me crazy that I didn’t see how I was letting other people make decisions for me.  

After getting a new job which I LOVE and discovering the Stratejoy site and blog, I applied for the Stratejoy scholarship in 2011. It didn’t matter to me if I earned the prize or not (though I was crossing fingers and toes in hope); for me, the process of telling another person what was going on in my head was a huge step. Telling Molly all the thoughts that I was afraid to say out loud was incredibly scary—but absolutely essential. It was the first step in reclaiming my life and an act of love for myself. This website and Molly’s commitment to helping fabulous females find their path- helped pull me from the darkness I was in.

It’s very important for me to share this journey of divorce and finding myself with all of you not just because it’s incredibly cathartic to be able to work through it in this format (as well as holding me accountable and giving me discipline), but because it is so important for women to know that they are not alone. Even before discovering Stratejoy, I firmly believed that the Quarter Life Crisis and women in their 20s was sort of like being 16 again– minus the raging hormones and parents.

We’re all in a time of uncertainty and figuring out what life looks like for us- having a community of ladies together to work through life’s speed bumps is crucial. I can say that I spent so much time, money, and years focusing on achieving my successful career that I neglected my essential self and what I wanted outside of the museum. I  wanted things in a certain way and at a certain time that I never stopped to think of what I wanted and who I wanted- or to listen to what that other person in my life might have to say about any of those things either.

I know that I am working towards my best self and living an authentic, joyful life because as I have told people in my world about my changing marital status, I have heard nothing but positivity. Yes, of course, people feel badly about the ending of a marriage, but on more than one occasion, with people I know well and those who I work with casually, people have said how I seem to have a glitter in my eye that was not there, that a peaceful happiness has returned. The best came from a college friend who I had not seen in months. He dates one of my closest friends (also from college). We met up for lunch and it was like no time had gone by for the three of us. After we said our goodbyes, my friend sent me a text. It said: “James just said- ‘That was Kristen. She’s Kristen again.” 

 

[Photo Credit: Creer Blog Remunere]

 

Bookmark and Share
Comments (7)

7 Responses to “Reclaiming My Life”

  • HannahD Says:
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:03 pm

    Kristen, the phrase "taking a back seat in your life" probably hits home for a lot of people. I was definitely doing the same. I think it's so easy to just let life happen. Good for you for making it your own! And I'm so happy for you that you're Kristen again :-D

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    September 16th, 2011 at 12:13 pm

    Your story sounds eerily similar to mine (except for the whole getting married and divorced part). Wishing you oodles of confidence, motivation, and love as you discover your most authentic, joyful life!

  • Becky Says:
    September 16th, 2011 at 2:37 pm

    I'm so happy that you're strong enough to speak up for the life you want and deserve. I'm glad you're finding yourself again :)

  • KristenCF Says:
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    It's amazing how quickly days, months go by and I ( or anyone) realizes that nothing has changed, plans don't happen, things don't get done. It's so easy to push off the things we want, dream, aspire to because it feels like there will be so much time– definitely trying to embrace each day and do what I want!

  • KristenCF Says:
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:24 pm

    Same to you lovely :)

  • KristenCF Says:
    September 16th, 2011 at 9:25 pm

    It's such an awesome feeling to know things that happen are because I want them to, not because others decide for you!

  • Dusti Arab Says:
    September 18th, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Loved this. Taking the driver's seat again! Woohoo!

Leave a Reply

name*


email* (will not be published)


website


comments