Why Moving Sucks

posted 25th September 2011    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kat, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Travel, Travel/Adventure

Moving sucks.

There, I said it.

I’ve sold my furniture; donated clothing, books, and other random items; and trashed mountains of paperwork that have been secretly breeding on my shelves and in my file box. (Honestly, all of my possessions must have been reproducing in my closets and drawers, because there’s no way I ever owned that much stuff.)

My apartment stopped feeling like home two weeks ago, when I repainted the walls. Before that, it was bright, cheery, and oh so me. When my ex and I decided to take this apartment, I agreed as long as I could paint some of the rooms: Kermit-the-Frog-green accent wall in the living room, pale blue bedroom, yellow accent wall in the guest room. The walls are back to being Navajo White now, and I’m closing this chapter on my life–the NYC chapter and the chapter with my ex.

I’m no stranger to big moves: I’ve shifted my life cross-country twice, both times leaving behind dear friends and comfortable cities. This feels different somehow, perhaps because Australia isn’t exactly in easy/affordable flight range for most people. Although the prevalence of twitter, blogging, and facebook in my life means I’ll be able to keep in touch with my New York friends (you know, the same way I keep in touch with my Seattle and DC friends now), I still feel flooded with sadness when I think about the moments I’ll miss here.

My heart breaks when I think about the fact that I’ll no longer be able to walk up to my friends’ apartment upstairs when I’m feeling stressed or sad, to sit on their futon and have their dogs and two-year-old daughter shower me with unconditional love. I start crying when I think about leaving behind the knitting group with whom I’ve spent nearly every Tuesday night for the past four years; they have been my strongest support through both the best and toughest times that I’ve experienced in this city. I start to wonder, What was I thinking? Connection is one of my core values, after all…

Like I said, moving sucks.

Fortunately, there are things that can help. Throughout this whole awful process of letting go of everything familiar–including possessions that had moved cross-country with me both times–the yogi in me has been reiterating that it’s good to practice non-attachment. All of this stuff doesn’t make me who I am. I’ve learned through my last two big moves that the people who matter stick around and stay in touch, and you find ways to maintain friendships across the miles. Asking for assistance is important; good friends are willing to do everything from assisting with painting or packing, to sitting with you while you cry and stare at your freshly-painted while walls. And of course, there’s been travel planning, which is pretty exciting when you’re meeting up with friends all over Europe. If I were only focusing on what I’m leaving behind, I’d never get anywhere. Connection may be one of my core values, but so is adventure. I want to find that balance.

With two days left in New York and barely anything in my apartment, I’m trying to soak up as much of my friends and the city as I can. I’ve been writing and taking photos, and also thinking about what I want from the next five months. After a few weeks of thinking about goals, I’ve finally settled on three:

Though I consider myself successful for quitting my job and taking this trip in the first place, I’m pretty certain that I don’t want to go back to sitting at a desk every day working for other people. I want to use the next five months–and the next year, really–to do everything in my power to create a life that won’t involve that.

This is it.

Two more days.

[photo credit: me!]

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Comments (14)

14 Responses to “Why Moving Sucks”

  • doniree Says:
    September 25th, 2011 at 8:48 am

    Hi – I'm finally catching up and checking out the Season 5 bloggers, and I LOVE you and this post. We are living pseudo-parallel lives. I'm certified to teach yoga (though I haven't yet). I've moved cross-country(ish) twice. I want to take knitting classes. My sleeve tattoo is currently being designed and is in progress. I just started listing my photographs for sale. Oh, and I've also been considering a move to New Zealand. :)

    So… I just wanted to say HI, I'm excited to 'meet' you and read more from you and then to wish you lots and lots of luck and love and peace in your upcoming move. You've got this, girl.

  • Jaime Says:
    September 25th, 2011 at 9:43 am

    I've been blogging (off Myspace) for 3 years I think, and I've finally purchased my own web domain and web hosting. I'm very excited about having this space to personalize as I see fit, and I absolutely love the people who read my blogs. 90% of them are people I know in real life, and I'm okay with that. I'm finally growing to be comfortable knowing that I'll never be one of those bloggers with 50+ comments on each post. I finally feel like I have a virtual home, and it feels good.

    You're super brave for moving abroad. I've never been out of the US, but there are so many places I want to go. The possibilities are a lot less than they used to be, because I'm married now and I have to take my husband into consideration, but I still want to travel. Maybe living abroad for a year isn't a possibility anymore, but vacations are. Good luck with everything!

  • Angela C. Says:
    September 25th, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    I agree. Moving throws you off balance and knocks you off your feet a bit. It's an unsettling feeling, leaving what you love (even things that you wouldn't think of like accent colors on walls). It's the little things you've done to make a place feel like you, like home. I love that you're taking in the last few days you have in NY and relishing every minute. You'll have those memories forever.
    Angela :) http://www.habitformingsuccess.com

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    September 25th, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    Ahhh, I can totally feel the excitement in this post, Kat! I love it! I think it's awesome that your recognize the need for balance between connection and adventure. That's something I'm struggling with too. And you're third goal is something I didn't even know I wanted, so thanks for putting that out there. So excited for your next adventure and everything that will come with it! :)

  • HannahD Says:
    September 25th, 2011 at 7:49 pm

    I love this post! I'm so excited for you and your big move even though moving is totally anxiety inducing and stressful. You got this, girl! I'm working on the web presence goal as well…I think it's hard because the web is so easily accessible…you put a presence out there without even trying! Glad to know someone else is working on this too.

    Also, if you want someone to go through your photos with you, you've got your girl!

  • KristenCF Says:
    September 26th, 2011 at 6:26 am

    Love how specific your goals are– even though you are about to face a bunch of new things head on, you're going with clear direction and purpose– LOVE it. Was poking through your photo blog the other day– definitely saw a few I'd like for my walls :)

    You're my beacon of hope– rising out of bad relationship and what the other side looks like– I'm living vacariously through you!

  • Ag Says:
    September 27th, 2011 at 2:52 am

    Kat, sending you lots of happy vibes for this next chapter in your life. You are a brave gal and I love your energy. I am also embarking on a possible move next year from the BK. You inspire me to keep dreaming big! BK will miss you, but the world is a big-awesome-glorious-wonderful place to explore. You are doing just that! So many people would want to be in your shoes. So many want to spread their wings and fly! Safe and happy travels. <3 Ag

  • Kat Says:
    September 30th, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    Hey Doniree – nice to meet you, too! It definitely sounds like we're living pseudo-parallel lives. :) (Where are you getting your half-sleeve? What's the inspiration?)

    Thank you so much for the luck and love and peace–I need so many reminders of those things right now, much as I'm trying to stay chill about all of this! Good things are happening. :)

  • Kat Says:
    October 1st, 2011 at 7:04 am

    Congrats on the shift to your own domain! The setup is definitely like nesting in a virtual home, and now you get to have your friends over to visit. Pretty rad. :)

    I've had the travel bug for as long as I can remember, and I can't encourage others enough to get up and go! Even if you don't leave for a year–though there are some pretty awesome blogs by couples who are traveling long-term together or getting ready to do so–short trips are super fun, too.

    Thanks!! :)

  • Kat Says:
    October 1st, 2011 at 7:11 am

    It's been a while since I've done such a big move, so I think I'd forgotten all of the crazy emotions that go along with it. (I also got rid of waaaaaaaaay more stuff this time.) And you're right: I'll have the memories, but without some of the other weird baggage that came along with my apartment!

  • Kat Says:
    October 1st, 2011 at 7:49 am

    Aww, thanks, Ashley! It's hard to find that balance, I think. I just had a conversation with a friend about this, because she doesn't want to pick up and go partly because her family/friends are all nearby, whereas mine are scattered about the globe so I always feel like I'm missing out on *something*. Basically, I don't know what the answer is right now. ;)

    It's funny, because I didn't expect the third goal to be something people connected with, and yet you and Hannah both are right there with me. (And Dusti is our girl to help with that.) I love it!

  • Kat Says:
    October 1st, 2011 at 7:52 am

    I definitely agree with you about the accessibility thing–especially when you have a name that's easily searchable! I'm glad I'm not the only one who's working to create a presence that feels right.

    I might have to take you up on that offer!!

  • Kat Says:
    October 1st, 2011 at 7:56 am

    Ahhh, thanks!! It was a little scary to be so specific about the goals, but I'm certain it's a good thing. I've got to stay on track somehow!! And if you have specific photos in mind, shoot me an email and let me know. :)

    Girl, you've got this. You're getting through the worst bit now, and things are going to get easier, bit by bit, day by day. <3

  • Kat Says:
    October 1st, 2011 at 8:30 am

    Thanks, Ag! I have to say, there are things I'm going to miss about BK, but I'm enjoying life outside of NYC so far. And hey, I can always come back, right?

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