Defining Success and Exploring My Core Values

posted 1st November 2011    Written by: Ashley    CATEGORY: All Posts, Ashley, Family, Job/Career/Work, Love/Relationships, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Spirituality, Travel/Adventure

When I used think about the word “success”, I imagined business suits, slicked back hair, and high-rise buildings. I imagined feeling overwhelmed, stressed out, and driven by money. I imagined having little time for the things and the people I enjoy. It made me feel sick to my stomach and want to crawl into a hole to hide from this society-induced standard of what I “need”.

I’ve known for a long time that I don’t want a “successful” life. I want something different.

It wasn’t until I met Molly and she shared with me the idea that we can create our own definition of success, that I realized I wasn’t alone or crazy. Now, when I think about success, I imagine living my life on my own terms. I’m slowing uncovering what exactly those terms are, but I’m making progress.

One of the most helpful and enlightening exercises was choosing my core values in the Joy Equation. My values are what inform my choices and guide me toward the life I want, the life where I feel fulfilled, challenged, and successful.

Success for me is living Authenticity, Connection, Exploration, Health, Joy, Love, Play, and Spirituality.

Authenticity - This is the biggest one for me. It’s all about being truthful with myself. It’s learning to trust myself (and be myself) regardless of what other people think and living the truth I feel at my core. It’s not something that comes easily, but it’s something that I need. I mean, I know when I’m being myself and when I’m not and I know that I feel most confident and proud when I am Ashley.

Connection - Intimacy, openness, and being known. As Hannah said, it means “growing and maintaining deep and meaningful relationships, talking about “real” things, being open and honest with people, spending more time with people that I do connect with and less time with those I don’t”.

Exploration - This is where I tie together my need for adventure and travel with my inquisitive and curious mind. It is about new experiences, learning and growing, visiting new places and trying new things. It’s why I love traveling and reading, and why I’m not embarrassed to spend a Friday night watching a documentary on black holes and super-telescopes.

Health - My physical and emotional state is important to me and this is how I show self-love. My body requires care through practicing healthy and conscious food choices, regular exercise, relaxation, meditation, and sleep. None of my other values will be able to shine if I don’t create and time and space for my health.

Joy - When I wake up each morning, I want to feel joy. This is the excitement of being alive and having the opportunity to live my life. It’s the underlying feeling, stronger and more solid than happiness… The good stomach flops, the huge smiles, the energy, when you can’t contain it and you just have to dance.

Love - I’m talking about the unconditional kind. It’s the commitment, support, honesty, compassion, trust and understanding I build with my family and friends, but it is also the romantic love I share with my partner. It is something I want to share with the world and it’s why I choose to become a counselor.

Play - Quite obvious, for me, anyway. I wouldn’t want to live a life that isn’t silly, playful, and fun. This is about not taking life to seriously and never forgetting to laugh. It can come through in interactions with others, a positive outlook, or a decision to eat ice cream in your pj’s on the living room floor.

Spirituality - My belief in a higher power and having faith in something bigger than myself is where I find hope, peace, serenity, and calmness. I’m at a point where I am uncertain about where organized religion fits into my life, but I just can’t ignore spirituality. Outside of church I can find this through yoga, nature, writing, or just being still.

Now that I recognize my values, I have so much more clarity and a picture of what I want my life to look like. I don’t feel guilty for not wanting “success” because I have defined what success means for me. I have these eight lights guiding me forward toward the life I want to live.

I’d love to hear how you define success. What are your core values?

[photo credit: quasimime]

Bookmark and Share
Comments (3)

3 Responses to “Defining Success and Exploring My Core Values”

  • laurenne_s Says:
    November 1st, 2011 at 10:50 am

    I really really really love this idea. I have been creating this idea of success that is so out of reach, and it's continuously making me feel unsuccessful. But if I really break it down into categories, I'm killing it! So, thanks for this reminder! I really appreciate it!
    MWAH!

  • Katie Says:
    November 1st, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    This is a HUGE realization; that success is your creation. Some days, when I'm having a bad one, I define success as getting out of bed, and I celebrate that. Sometimes success is the little things.

    So proud of you, Miss T-Ribbz. :)

  • erinmakesitwork Says:
    November 2nd, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    Thank you for this. I'm currently struggling with trying to develop my own definition of success..and realizing that I have been living life on pause because of what everyone else told me it meant to be successful. Sometimes waking up and being responsible for your own happiness is hard work!

Leave a Reply

name*


email* (will not be published)


website


comments