Money & Me

posted 18th November 2011    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: Job/Career/Work, Kristen, Life Lesson, Money, Season 5, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

After completing the Joy Plan this past June, I had a conversation with someone about what came up as my core values ( FYI: family, leadership, independence, honesty, enlightenment, enjoyment, love, and strength). After I explained what each of those meant to me, he said, “You don’t value money?” I told him while I needed it to pay bills, I didn’t value money. After a debate ensued about his idea that needing money meant the same as valuing it, I started to think differently about my relationship with my finances and Kat’s post had me thinking even more.

Yes I need money. And yes, I’d definitely like to have more of it now. As I move into a life sans a plus one to add to the monthly income, money is a topic frequently on my mind. I like to have electricity and to pay student loans so no one comes and tries to take me out at the knees. And yes I’d even like having some extra money so I can go on trips or a fun night out with my girlfriends.

But if tomorrow the government decided the bartering system was coming back, I would sign up immediately. Not just because money, balancing my checkbook and making a budget makes my head spin (I’m a historian for a reason– math isn’t my bag baby). I could barter for my gas bill with some very delicious baked goods. Grappling with the dollars and cents each month is tough and unless I am willing to make some huge changes in my life or win the lottery, it won’t be changing any time soon. But my attitude towards it can.

For me, it comes down to worth. My time, my value. I love my job and I would do it for free (I practically do at this rate anyway!)But honestly I find so much more pleasure in doing meaningful work than I do in the amount of funds it brings into my bank account. Some of you might think this is an incredibly naive way of thinking (and at times I might even agree with you), but thinking this way about life and money has helped keep me sane in grown up financial land. Long gone are the days when getting mail meant chain letters, pen pals, or care packages at college. Now the sound of the closing mailbox door is like that of impending doom and the heavy weight of the bills that sit inside. It’s frustrating at times of course- postdating checks so your account won’t overdraft or having to wait to buy something until it goes on sale (hello Ben & Jerry’s 2 for $5 sale =score!)

As I’ve embarked on my new singleton lifestyle, I’ve been thinking and tracking where my money is actually going every month. I’ve used mint.com which does all the hard work for you and I keep track in a little ledger book too. It has been relatively easy to adjust my budget properly and be able to pay my bills on time. I’m not saying it isn’t tight and that I’m not trying to find freelance writing opportunities where I can, but I feel like I have a good handle on my money reality. Thinking about it in a different way has been the thing that really has helped me come to terms with not having a whole lot of it. Because what’s the worst that can happen? I go bankrupt. I would still have my health, my family & friends.  I am thankful that I am able to put away a tiny amount of money into savings and for retirement while still being able to make the bills every month. If I pay the minimum on my student loans from undergrad and grad school, I won’t be done until 2032, probably around the time any potential children of mine will go to college. Despite those long years of debt, I wouldn’t trade the education and experiences I had from those six years for any amount of money.

Having a tight budget and shifting my thinking is also making me think differently about how I spend my time. I would often spend most afternoons and nights after work running around to buy things because they were on sale or because I had a coupon, even if it was something I did not really need. While I still employ the buy only on sale and/or with coupon, I only buy what is absolutely essential. This saves money as well as the amount of stuff coming into the house, but it also saves my time and gives me the time I need for the things that I want to be doing. Now when I run errands, I try to batch them all together in one block of time to be more efficient and then allow myself the opportunity to have the rest of the day or night for whatever will bring me joy.

I’ve made some other changes- I’m trying to only buy things with cash and use the credit card for real emergencies only. I canceled cable, though once Red Sox season starts again, I’ll need to find friends or spend a lot of time at my Mom and Dad’s house watching games since the alternative is watching at bars which will be counterproductive to the saving money initiative. Canceling cable is also going to allow me to focus on my goals of writing more, attacking my reading list, yoga, and spending time with the people I love to be around. And it’s going to make me think about what I actually want to be doing because I won’t have the crutch of mindless hours of TV watching. It’s only been one day so don’t congratulate me yet on this action item—I might end up at my parent’s more nights than not to get a fix!

With the holiday season coming up, I know I will be frustrated that I cannot provide the things I want for everyone on my gift giving list, but I’m really excited to write letters, make gifts, and a few other surprises for them that will show how much they mean to me, especially over the tumultuous last year. I’ve never been the most crafty person, but I’m doing a lot of new and different things that I never thought I was capable of before, so I am excited to push myself again. Whatever I create will be an awesome expression of love for them (and potentially something to laugh at for years to come, depending on the outcome!), and my gratitude and immense adoration for them is something money could never buy.

 

[Photo Credit: My budget & ledger]

 

 

 

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Comments (4)

4 Responses to “Money & Me”

  • HannahD Says:
    November 18th, 2011 at 8:07 am

    It sounds like your attitude towards money is healthy! I've definitely had the same debate (with my husband!) about not valuing money…just because I need money doesn't mean I have to like it! I don't think my attitude is so healthy and I'm grateful for your well-worded post. I hate thinking about it so much that I don't, but this post puts it in the right frame…:) Happy Friday!

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    November 18th, 2011 at 8:51 am

    Ugh, money. It can be so stressful, especially living on a single income and a huge portion of it going toward student loans. Thanks for sharing your outlook. I need to keep this positive frame in mind more often. :)

  • Laskmy @ohmylaskmy Says:
    November 19th, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    You have such a wonderful outlook and way of thinking. I wish it was as easy for me to be okay with. I find myself battling with those student loan bills every month with frustrations because of the close to nothing salary I get as a teacher. However, I wouldn't trade this magical life of giggles, small people, and fairytale stories I share with my students on a daily basis just for a gig with more money. I have to learn to find a balance somewhere between loving what I do and growing okay with the payments of adulthood.

  • laurenne_s Says:
    November 21st, 2011 at 9:43 pm

    I love this new plan. There is a guy that charges $150,000/year to be your life coach. And people pay it. And when asked about money, he says to use it as a tool… make it work for you. I think it all depends on how we look at it. All he did was ask for that much and he got it! So… we can do the same. RIGHT!? One day? One of our texts for Psych school is called 'The Soul of Money.' I'm hoping it sheds light on how this works!
    GOOD LUCK! I haven't had a TV in 3 years. It's awesome.

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