Moving Forward and Accepting Changes

posted 8th November 2011    Written by: Ashley    CATEGORY: All Posts, Ashley, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5

Last weekend I packed my life into boxes and drove it across town. You know the drill. You sign a lease on a new apartment. Spend hours sorting clothes, books, high school memorabilia, bathroom products, and kitchen utensils. And then one day you load it all into the back of a truck, taking it to your new home.

It’s a process I have become quite familiar with over the past few years and after some quick math, I realized that I have moved 11 times since I gradauted college in 2006.

To France, back home to Austin, to upstate New York, then New York City, another apartment in NYC, a third apartment in NYC, back home, to a small town about 90 miles north of Austin, back home, to my own apartment in Austin, and now to my current apartment.

Whew. Just typing that was exhausting.

I think everyone will agree that moving is a pain and probably on the top ten list for most awful ways to spend a weekend. I absolutely despise it, that’s for sure, but I also think that moving is a way of moving forward. Maybe I’m just searching for the silver lining here, but I think moving propels our lives into a new phase, a new journey filled with new lessons.

Thinking back to college, I had no idea where I would be today. I couldn’t have imagined that my choices would take me to New York, and I would have argued with you if you told me that there would be times when I lived at home after graduation. It wasn’t part of my plan.

But that’s all part of the quarterlife crisis, right? Realizing that our plans won’t always turn out exactly how we want. And then learning to accept that and turn it into something… hopefully, a life full of joy.

When I made the decision to move back home after living in New York City for two years, I felt like a failure. I judged people who lived at home and thought they weren’t trying hard enough or not showing enough determination. People over the age of 18 who lived at home were losers with no goals. And then I became one of those people.

But I didn’t move home because I wasn’t trying or because I had given up, I was doing it because I had just graduated, couldn’t find a job, and my student loan payments were creeping up on me faster than I expected. It was a rational, and some would say, mature decision. Not one that I wanted to make, but still necessary.

That decision allowed me to work part-time until I found a job using my degree. I was living rent-free, so I could save money and begin paying off my loans. Looking back, I don’t regret it at all.

I moved out of my mom’s house and into my own apartment back in April. It was an exciting and stressful time, and so full of growth. That apartment was where I began writing for Stratejoy, where I fell even more in love with my boyfriend, and where I began developing my strong independence and sense of autonomy. I loved that apartment and it was home to me.

The only reason I left was because my rent was increasing and I wasn’t willing to pay half of my paycheck to stay there. So, I packed it up and moved in with my sister. We are sharing a two-bedroom apartment in a lovely town just northwest of Austin. My cheaper rent and the fact that we are splitting utilities will save me over $200 a month. Woohoo!

So, I guess that’s how life plays the cards. Even when you think you have an ideal situation going on and are perfectly happy living alone, you might have to change things up a bit. You might have to give up your one-bedroom apartment to share a larger apartment with your sister. You might have to move out of your hometown. You might have to compromise and make sacrifices.

But that’s how you grow. Staying where you are will get no where, except where you’ve already been. You never know what this new experience will bring and what you will learn. I mean, this is how you move forward. And that’s one way that I am getting out of my quarterlife crisis.

[photo credit: Vihn-LuanLuu]

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Comments (13)

13 Responses to “Moving Forward and Accepting Changes”

  • Linda Says:
    November 8th, 2011 at 9:19 am

    I totally agree how moving is always an indicator of a new chapter. I've grown a lot in and out of my relationship with Alan and we just moved mid August. Never mind that I already want to move into a cheaper place next year.

    Have fun unpacking! It feels better and better as the boxes are emptied.

  • myblacktongue Says:
    November 8th, 2011 at 9:25 am

    Great post! I have moved twice already since I graduated from college in 2009 and I am already looking to the next move. My boyfriend and I took a chance moving to a new place for a job and it just isn't working out. We can't get down on ourselves for the time and money that we have put into this venture, we must take it for what it is and move forward.

  • KristenCF Says:
    November 8th, 2011 at 9:52 am

    When I went away to college, I had no intention of ever coming back home, save for family events and gatherings. Great to read this post and I can amazingly relate. When I got accepted to my top choice grad school that was only 25 minutes from my parent's house, I was broke & it seemed silly to spend $$ on an apartment when I could stay temporarily with them. Every few months I would tell them I was leaving at the end/beginning of the next semester. 5 years later I finally left when I bought my house and got married. For years I felt so frustrated that my living situation was not what I planned- I had visions of living with a roommate in the city and enjoying this exciting, metropolitan lifestyle. I was really harsh on myself for being in my mid 20s and still hunkering down in my childhood bedroom. But it was a huge compromise- I may not have gotten the fun lifestyle I wanted at 25, but I now have a house because of my sacrifice of living with my parents.

  • Ashley Says:
    November 8th, 2011 at 10:52 am

    Can't wait to see the new place! I hope you have a great experience living with your sister.

  • erin Says:
    November 8th, 2011 at 3:07 pm

    Here's to new experiences! I hope you love your new apt.

    I've found that most of the time, the plans which don't go exactly how I want them, are the ones that somehow end up turning out the best. Weird.

  • imlivinginadream Says:
    November 8th, 2011 at 6:44 pm

    That's so crazy how many times you've moved! One of my dreams is to try and move to NYC- even just for a little while to experience it- but for now I'm still living at home with my mom, making my way through my undergrad. Good luck with the new apartment though, living with your sis sounds like it's gonna be a lot of fun!!

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    November 9th, 2011 at 7:17 am

    February!

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    November 9th, 2011 at 7:18 am

    I completely agree. It's funny how we seem to forget this whenever big changes are happening. I wish I coudl learn to let go and let to changes happen.

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    November 9th, 2011 at 7:18 am

    I hope you get the chance to move to NYC. It was one of the most life changing/ scary decisions I've ever made.

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    November 9th, 2011 at 7:19 am

    I have about 5 more boxes to go. I can't wait to be finished!

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    November 9th, 2011 at 7:20 am

    Awww, that sucks. I hope your next move goes better and you are able to settle into a life that you love.

  • superawesomeashley Says:
    November 9th, 2011 at 7:21 am

    That's what I kept having to remind myself when I was living at home- it's not forever and it will be worth it in the long run. So glad it worked out for you. :)

  • laurenne_s Says:
    November 9th, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    Yay! Happy Houswarming! I agree that moving is the worst, but now you're at the best part!! Unpacking and designing a whole new place. I love that!!
    And with your sister? That is adorable. And, as an only child, I'm totally jealous. Have fun!!

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