Learning to Create New Traditions

posted 27th December 2011    Written by: Ashley    CATEGORY: All Posts, Ashley, Family, Season 5

It seems like when I was a kid, each Christmas was the same. My mom, dad, sister, and I would head out one night in early December and search for our tree. We’d go to several different lots until we found the perfect one. Not too short, not too fat, not too skinny, and full all the way around. Then we’d load it up in back of my dad’s pick-up truck and make our way to a diner for a late dinner and some hot chocolate. At home, we would spend the rest of the evening hanging lights, ornaments, and tinsel.

On Christmas Eve we would eat tamales, rice, and beans, and then attend our church’s service for the evening. After church, we’d drive around town looking at Christmas lights, ooooh-ing and ahhhh-ing over the pretty colors. When we were back home, we’d turn on the TV to the special news channel that showed us where Santa was in proximity to our town. It was so exciting to know that he was getting closer and closer! Before we went to bed, my sister and I were each allowed to open one present, but it was usually something “boring” like pajamas or a book.

I always had trouble falling asleep on Christmas Eve. I’d toss and turn in my bed imagining Santa flying through the sky with his reindeer and sleigh full of presents. On Christmas morning, my sister and I would run down the hall into the living room and squeal as we saw all of the toys Santa had left for us. At the risk of sounding cliche, it really was magical.

Sadly, as I’ve gotten older, Christmas seems to have lost a few of those traditions and some of the magic has disappeared with it. I associate some of that with the fact that my family dynamic has changed.

My parents got divorced when I was 18 and my father passed away when I was 23. Now that our immediate family is smaller, we try to spend holidays with grandparents and cousins who don’t live too far away. My mom has a fake tree now and it’s beautiful, but it’s not the same as the real ones from my childhood. We didn’t go to church this Christmas Eve, but chose to stay home in the comfort of our pajamas and watch a service on TV. There wasn’t any hot chocolate (though I’m not quite sure why) and it was one of the first times I spent Christmas Eve night at my own apartment rather than my childhood bedroom.

It has been difficult for me to adjust over the years, grieving over those lost traditions and learning to create new ones. When my mom, sister, and I were decorating our tree one weekend at the beginning of December, we began reminiscing about my dad. His sense of humor, his abounding love for Christmas, and our hopes that he could still be here with us. Of course holidays are always hard after you’ve lost someone you love. And I’m sure that’s part of the reason that Christmas feels different to me now than it did 15 years ago, but I think it’s more than that. I think it’s also that we don’t have as many traditions.

Traditions are what create balance. They create rituals and time and memories. They give you something to look forward to and something to look back on. When they are gone, what else do you have?

I’m not sure what traditions I will carry on to my own family one day, but I know I want them to be full of magic. I’d love to develop new traditions too. Maybe there will be gingerbread house decorating and snow angel making! Anything is possible! I just know I want to create moments of hope and anticipation, memories connection, and traditions of love.

[photo credit: Me! Our Christmas tree, 2010]

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Comments (2)

2 Responses to “Learning to Create New Traditions”

  • Jaime Says:
    December 28th, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    Yes! A thousand times, yes! This is an incredible post, and I feel the EXACT same way about traditions!

  • Laskmy Says:
    December 29th, 2011 at 3:37 pm

    Wow, What a gorgeous tree!

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