Making the House My Home

posted 23rd December 2011    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: All Posts, Creativity, Kristen, Life Lesson, Season 5, What I've Learned

I have been living solo for just about two months now, but until Saturday, December 10th, my house still had many pieces of my married life all around me. Every day I tried to work around various pieces of my former life and not think of them as reminders of a failed marriage.

As a museum curator, I know very well that various objects can have a power and allure to them- in museum speak, we often call them “numinous objects.” The vase, the painting, etc. symbolizes so much more than the actual thing it is and takes on new meaning and ability to tell a story. Well at my house, I was surrounded by numinous objects that told the story of how unhappy I was. The couch, the painting over the mantel, even the kitchen utensils were constant reminders of him, the marriage, the sadness and disappointment of things not working out. Even on the days when I felt amazing and full of life, being surrounded by the stuff would bring me down.

With a number of variables being in play that left his stuff in the house for a period of time after he moved out, there was not a whole lot in my control over doing something about this stuff. I would pack up some items after using them or when I ran across them in a cupboard, but because of my restrictions (budget, space, time), I did not really eliminate or replace the toxic objects either. I kept putting off the decision to start doing things for myself because it felt like there was so much chaos around me that I was overwhelmed by needing to make another decision.

And then one day it changed. I’m not exactly sure what flipped the switch, but maybe realizing that I was seriously delaying my life by waiting for his stuff to leave the house and thus, delaying my happiness by not making my house the way I wanted it to be, was the big push. Maybe it was the hours of pinning and pining on Pinterest that made me finally stop looking and do something about making my space the way I want it.

It started simply with buying new curtains for my living room, then quickly moved from room to room with small changes with things I already had in my possession. I put my bright red KitchenAid stand mixer out in the corner of the counter- it instantly added cheer and excitement to the beige, black and white kitchen. I displayed my favorite cookbooks on a shelf and added bright kitchen towels to the oven handle. In the living room, I have some gorgeous built-in bookcases next to my fireplace. As you can see from the photo, I made that space all about me- a photo of my mom and I, bright colored books and fun decorative objects, and more. After the holiday season, I have plans to rip wallpaper and paint in two rooms, display some great photographs around the house, and hang artwork that makes me smile.

This shift in my thinking about making the space how I want it has completely changed my focus about a timeline and my control over it. Clutter and mess can often make me anxious and in the past, I have freaked out over things like that. This has been the thing I have worked on the most and what I am most proud of myself for- that it doesn’t matter if there is no art on the wall or the pillows on the couch are all mismatched. It’s a temporary situation, it’s my situation, and I decide the timeline. It does not have to be done in a week and I can change my mind throughout the process- there are no rules.

It really is remarkable how doing tiny little things like this made a huge difference in my outlook on the situation and how I saw my house and myself.  I once thought I was horrible at decorating and interior design- I would spend hours flipping through magazines and looking at home design blogs feeling overwhelmed at choices and color palettes. I had a “ I can’t do this mentality” until it sort of hit me that it was not as hard as I was making it out to be- it really is just about finding colors, pictures, or items that bring out the best in me. It is not rocket science (although I will admit I needed my parents to help me figure out the curtain rod situation- I’m incredibly spatially and mechanically challenged at times). And it should be enjoyable and fun because it’s all about creating a space to enjoy and do the things you love in it. A house should be filled with love and happiness and where you can feel most like yourself- filling it with actual things and colors is the physical manifestation of everything exciting and awesome about who I am on the inside.  The best find was a silver glittery JOY sign that will stay there year round, not just for the holiday season. It will be my constant reminder of what I want and to always add sparkle to life.

[Photo Credit: Me!]

Bookmark and Share
Comments (5)

5 Responses to “Making the House My Home”

  • erin Says:
    December 23rd, 2011 at 8:19 am

    I loved this post! I am totally in agreement with you as well and there is a lot of clean up I need to do in my own life. I have so much JUNK and so much STUFF that I need, but I can never keep it clean. AND I AM NEVER HOME! (does that make sense. Anyway, that is going to be one of my #1 goals for 2012. Clean and purge.

    AND HANG OUT WITH YOU!

  • Mary Beth Says:
    December 23rd, 2011 at 9:04 am

    What a lovely space! Glad the ball is rolling to make it more YOU!

  • supernaturalserenity Says:
    December 23rd, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    YES! <3! My husband & I separated back in 2007, before we were married, and as soon as he was out, it felt like the house was literally haunted by reminders of him & us.
    It's amazing how that one "flipping the switch" moment leads to so much more, isn't it? First, it was ordering new prints of pictures to fill up our wall of memories; then it was a couple new pieces of decor; then rearranging… it's transformative to turn a place into YOURS & realize that, while the bones of something old are still there, you're filling the space with the energy & promise of something new and beautiful.
    Congrats on taking this HUGE step & all that are to follow! <3!

  • Katie Says:
    December 23rd, 2011 at 1:23 pm

    Good for you! I'm sure there's a world of difference between a break up and a divorce, but I experienced a similar feeling when I started really rearranging my life with the certainty that it was just going to be me from there on out. You've done a gorgeous job with your living room and I hope it makes you happy :)

  • suki Says:
    December 23rd, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    Yes, it's about making your space for you! :) My Kitchenaid is red too!

Leave a Reply

name*


email* (will not be published)


website


comments