Archive

Life, Love, and Audacious Joy: Five Months Later

posted 31st January 2012    Written by: Ashley    CATEGORY: All Posts, Ashley, Job/Career/Work, Love/Relationships, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, What I've Learned

I can’t believe this is over. Five months has never flown by so fast! I have loved this little corner of my life, making the time each week to focus on my life- where I’ve been, where I am now, and where I want to be. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that I’m a different, better version of myself today than I was in early September 2011.

When I started writing here, I set some specific goals for myself:

1. Personal- create an authentic life full of joy!

2. Professional- be a grounded, curious, and empathic counselor!

3. Financial- finally get out of debt!

So, how did I do? Well, it was a mixed batch.

I didn’t do a scientific, exact measure, but my life feels more authentic ad joyful. The weekly brainstorming sessions didn’t happen as I had envisioned. I didn’t sit down and journal or make lists or create a vision board on a weekly basis, but if we swap out “weekly” with “monthly” then it was a total success! I registered for, participated in, and absolutely loved the Put Yourself Out There group as well as The Council: Holiday Edition. Both groups helped me create a clear vision of what I want my life to look like and what changes I need to make in order for those dreams to become a reality. I continued to practice yoga weekly, missing only a few classes. And surprise! While training for my half-marathon, I fell in love with running and the time and space it provides me with to be alone with my thoughts.

My professional goals were a flop. I didn’t find a mentor and I didn’t read one book each month. This isn’t really a huge surprise to me since my love for my job began slipping away from me these past few months. I started two books, but they are both sitting on my shelf with a bookmark tucked somewhere in the middle of the pages. I still want to find a mentor and that is something I am going to pursue. I want to find someone who challenges me, supports me, and hopefully inspires me in my professional growth as a counselor.

Financially, I am in such a better place than I was in September. While I cannot cross off any of  the goals listed above, I feel more secure, and have allowed myself some wiggle room from month to month. In December I began the process of consolidating my student loans which means that my monthly payments have gone down over $600! My rent is also about $150 cheaper in my new apartment, so that helps too. With these changes, I am able to travel more, put money aside (what I call my “mental savings account”), and feel much more relaxed when it’s time to pay bills. I can just feel the anxiety melting away!

In addition to working toward these goals, I’ve learned to trust myself over these past few months. I wrote myself a love letter and I faced my inner critic. I imagined my best life and I solidfied my core values. I moved to a new apartment, watched my best friend get married, and I decided to run a half-marathon. I stressed out over money, reflected on 2011, and set an intention for 2012: Savor Growth. I shared stories about my dad and my long-distance relationship, I questioned my career choice, and I answered a bajillion questions. It’s been a journey, y’all.

I feel stronger, more courageous, and more at peace. I feel like I know myself better, which I guess is what you can expect when you spend an uninterrupted hour or two with someone (yourself) each week writing, reflecting, and sorting through all your personal thoughts, feelings, and ideas.

I’m so sad that it’s time for me to go. I have truly loved every minute, every connection, and every friendship that has been built because of Stratejoy. Thank you for cheering me on as I shared a bit of me with you each week. You all mean the world to me. In case you want to continue following my journey toward a life full of audacious joy, you can find me here:

Please stay in touch!

[photo credit: my boyfriend; Me- In front of the harbor in his hometown in Canada]

divider

You Don’t Look Different, But You Have Changed

posted 30th January 2012    Written by: Hannah    CATEGORY: All Posts, Hannah, Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, What I've Learned

The first thing I did this morning was change a poopy diaper.  Yep.  That’s the exact same first sentence as my first post for Stratejoy.  It would be easy to get down and think that nothing has changed in the last 5 months.  I’m still a nanny. I still deal with literal and metaphorical crap every day.  But a lot has changed.

In 2004 I was a super senior at Oregon State University.  I had a major, but didn’t know if I had chosen the right one.  If you wanted to find my self esteem you’d have to scrape it off the floor from underneath the spilled PBR and old pizza boxes.  I was starting to gain weight, had just finally given up dating guys I didn’t even like, and had zero plan for the future.  That’s when I started nannying.   It’s no surprise that the job now holds such a negative connotation.   Thankfully this was also the time I met Mister.  Soon after graduation I moved to Seattle.

Life slowly started perking up.  It got better and better.  Especially this last year.   I turned 30.  I got married to my best friend.   I quit one of my nanny jobs.  I really nailed down what I want from my business.  I can certainly attribute a lot of my growth to these things.  But I keep wondering how much of my change has been because of Stratejoy…going through the Joy Equation (twice), sucking up the fear and writing my application to be a season 5 blogger, and for the past 5 months, spending time reflecting on my Quarterlife Crisis through these blog posts.  I am not the same person I was a year ago.  I believe in myself.  I trust myself.  I’m excited about what is to come. And most importantly, as I said last week in the interview, “I’ve realized that the feelings of needing to do more, be myself, and live life my way are not unique to me.”  I don’t feel alone anymore.

And so as I finish my stint as a Season 5 Stratejoy blogger I have mixed feelings.  On one hand I’m so sad that the support of this tribe won’t be there every week like it is now.  I won’t be forced to mentally push through the roadblocks that get in the way of moving forward.  I won’t have to give myself time to think and write about myself every week.  In some ways I’m afraid I’ll forget everything I’ve learned when it’s not front and center in my mind anymore.

But on the other hand, I’m excited.  It’s time to move on.  It’s time to stop talking about where I’m going and where I want to be.  It’s time to just go.  And I go ahead with the knowledge that you are all out there going through the same kinds of things I am.  We’re all in this together in one way or another.  And somehow, that gives me a little bit more confidence.

I don’t even remember the plot of the movie Bounce, but I do, and always will, remember this quote:

It’s not brave if you’re not scared.

And so I step forward into the next stage of my life, afraid, but not alone.  Feeling brave and strong.

If you want to keep in touch, follow my business blog, email me, or find me on Facebook.  I would LOVE to hear from you!  And I’ll be around.  Don’t think you’ll get rid of me that easily.

Until next time, sticky notes, coffee, sweater blankets, and everything good to you!

[Photo Credit:   Mister took this on our honeymoon in Italy]

divider

Chocolate, Yoga, and 13 Countries: The Past Five Months in Interview Form

posted 29th January 2012    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kat, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Travel, Travel/Adventure

The past five months have gone by entirely too quickly! It’s still a little mind-blowing to me that I’ve been on the road for nearly four of those five. A lot has happened during that time, and while the big things are obvious, I think the smaller changes are going to take another five months to process. And that’s okay! I want to keep growing and transforming as I continue working through my QLC and settling into my new life. I’m still so honored that I’ve been able to share this journey with all of you!

What are you obsessed with at this exact moment?

Zotter chocolate, yoga, mochas, getting my etsy shop up and running, visiting my OddDaughter in England, my impending gluten detox. (I’m gluten-intolerant, and I have not been careful during my travels.)

You can time travel but only to the past! What time period/ historical event do you go and experience?

This is an easy one! Every time I talk about Coney Island, I tell people that I want to go there during the early 1900s, when it was “America’s Playground”. Coney Island is literally one of my favorite places on the entire planet, and I’d love the opportunity to experience Luna Park, Steeplechase Park, and Dreamland in their heyday.

If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and why?

A tiger. I find them mesmerizing; they’re so strong, and yet still graceful.

Any person dead or alive, who would you have dinner with?

David Lynch. I think he’d be an utterly fascinating dinner companion, and boy, do I have some questions for him!

What is on your life’s soundtrack?

I planned my final yoga class at my old studio around the theme of overcoming fear. This was the playlist for the class, and I think it’s a pretty accurate soundtrack for my life as well:

In addition to that playlist, I’d add these songs that I can’t live without:

I’ve linked to as many of the songs as I could, so hopefully you’ll go forth and enjoy some new music – and if you like it, support the artists!

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?

If I could clone myself and simultaneously be with my friends in NYC, Seattle, Minneapolis, Raleigh, St. Augustine, San Francisco, Vancouver, Edmonton, Oxford, Graz, Vienna, Rabat, Melbourne, Sydney, and Okinawa – well, I’d do that. Since that’s not going to happen, I think I’ll stick with wanting to be where I as I’m writing this: Barcelona!

Who has been your biggest inspiration throughout your QLC?

My yoga kula (community): the ladies who completed teacher training with me and several other friends/mentors. They inspire me every day with their passion, bravery, and love.

If money, education, time, or location were not an issue, what would you be doing for work in life?

It feels pretty awesome to say this: I’d be doing exactly what I’m doing now/about to be doing (teaching yoga, writing, taking photographs, traveling)! I just wouldn’t need to worry about my bank account so much in the process. :)

What was the biggest mental shift you’ve made from 5 months ago to now?

Over the course of my last few weeks in New York, I was seriously doubting my decision to leave and my ability to keep myself afloat financially and emotionally without a 9-to-5 job. Now I feel certain that I did the right thing, and that I can make this all work.

What’s changed? List 10 little sweet things.

  1. I gave up my cozy Brooklyn apartment for a transient lifestyle.
  2. I don’t really mind wearing the same clothes four months in a row.
  3. I’ve developed and renewed so many amazing friendships.
  4. I miss good tacos and bbq.
  5. I’ve learned, once and for all, that my yoga practice – the reading, the āsana, the meditation – is crucial to my well-being.
  6. I drink coffee!
  7. I’ve visited 13 countries (six new ones and seven return trips).
  8. I’m learning to be less afraid of making mistakes.
  9. I’m a pro at navigating new European cities where I don’t speak the language.
  10. I don’t think I ever want to go back to the 9-5 world.

What’s one thing that you’ve learned – in general or about yourself – over the past five months?

I’ve (re)learned just how important it is for me to have a community. I am fortunate to have amazing friends scattered around the globe, but what makes a place feel like home for me is having some of my people nearby.

What would you have done differently on your Stratejoy journey if you were starting today?

I wish I’d put more time into soul-searching (writing morning pages, completing The Joy Equation, etc.) at the beginning. I feel like I’m only now beginning to tackle some of the really big, deep stuff! At the same time, I think that I needed space to get there, so maybe it’s all worked out for the best.

What song(s) will remind you of the past five months?

What is your favorite thing about YOU?

I am so proud of myself for doing things – from minor items to major life changes – even when they absolutely terrify me.

Name 3 things you absolutely love about yourself.

  1. I love that I’m my quirky self; I rock diverse interests that range from the badass to the absurd, and everything in between.
  2. I love that I’m not afraid to cry.
  3. I love that I don’t need a lot of stuff to survive and thrive.

How are you living life on your own terms?

I quit a steady job to travel the world and move to a new country to start a less traditional career path. Despite the concerns of my family and my slowly dwindling bank account – which will be pleased when I arrive in Sydney and also begin selling my photos – I am overall the happiest I’ve been in my life. Even when I get scared (and it definitely happens), I feel like I made exactly the right choice for me, and I love that I’m listening deeply and following my heart.

[photo credit: me!]

divider

Those Last, Burning Questions

posted 28th January 2012    Written by: Elyse    CATEGORY: All Posts, Elyse, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5
What are you obsessed with at this exact moment?
I am obsessed with the tv show New Girl and my smart phone. I joined the smart phone club a long while after it seemed everyone else had. I can’t believe I can look up things all the time! Fun facts! Hysterical jokes! Youtube!
You can time travel but only to the past! What time period/ historical
event do you go and experience?
The social change that occured in the 60s and 70s has always facinated me, and I would love to go back in time to see some of the events unfold like Woodstock, the Vietnam War, African-American and women’s rights, the Kent State shootings, the rise of birth control…so many incredible events that shaped our nation and our culture.
 If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and why?
A dolphin. They’re incredibly smart, are one of few animals that have sex for fun, and can still take on a shark if they need to. There is nothing wrong with being cute AND badass.Any person dead or alive, who would you have dinner with?
Jesus. Tell me, Jesus. What do you make of today’s religion? Do you feel your life story was recorded accurately? How do you feel about the acts that are performed in your name? I have more burning questions for that man than any other figure I can think of. And, he turned water into wine, so that makes our dinner bill a lot cheaper.
What is on your life’s soundtrack?
“Fire and Rain” – James Taylor
“Fall to Pieces” – Velvet Revolver
“Long Road to Run” – Foo Fighters
If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?
Actually, Cincinnati, OH. I can’t imagine being anywhere else right now for longer than a vacation.  A close second might be moving to Florida to work with animals.Who has been your biggest inspiration throughout your QLC?
The people I’ve met at the zoo. They are people so much like me, with passions and living life on their own terms. I try to embrace the lessons I learn from them every single day.
If money, education, time, or location were not an issue, what would
you be doing for work in life?
Train animals and educate the public with them. Dolphins or birds especially.
What was the biggest mental shift you’ve made from 5 months ago to now?
I love the zoo world enough to possibly devote my life to it. The thought of even doing anything else right now saddens me. I’m going to keep following this path, at least for now.
What’s changed? List 10 little sweet things.
1. I decided I might never get married or have kids. Ok, that is a big thing, but it has changed!
2. I eat mostly vegan food at home now for health reasons
3. I started doing yoga
4. My commitment to “stuff”
5. My environmental education proficiency
6. My weight! I’ve lost 10 pounds!
7. I’ve embraced some key things about myself and shared them with close friends
8. I put more weight in the relationships I have with others
9. I’m more thoughtful about my finances and money
10. I’m incredibly happy right now.
What’s one thing that you’ve learned – in general or about yourself -
over the past five months?
I can be happy doing what I want to do, not what I feel I should be doing based on what all my peers are doing.
What would you have done differently on your Stratejoy journey if you
were starting today?
I got deep, but I could have gone much deeper. There is so much I’ve learned about topics that are still hard for me to discuss with strangers.
What song(s) will remind you of the past five months?
“Feeling Good” – Michael Buble
What is your favorite thing about YOU?
I’m fiesty and a fighter. Those traits push me through a lot of shit.
Name 3 things you absolutely love about yourself.
1. My sense of humor
2. The close bond I develop with animals
3. The infinite amount of love I have to give others
How are you living life on your own terms?
I’m definitely not following the crowd…I’m finally embracing my beliefs and trying to live my life every day as passionately as possible.
{Photo Credit: smiling_da_vinci}
divider

Interview Fun!

posted 27th January 2012    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: All Posts, Family, Job/Career/Work, Kristen, Life Lesson, Love/Relationships, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, What I've Learned
What are you obsessed with at this exact moment? Painting in my house, hot chocolate, making meals in the slow cooker I received for Christmas from my parents, anything on Pinterest, and attacking my reading and movie list.
You can time travel but only to the past! What time period/ historical event do you go and experience? As a historian, I’ve thought a great deal about this. There are many, many time periods that are fascinating and interesting to me, but after much thought and consideration, I would want to be in my late teens at the end of World War II so that in the 1950s I would be in my twenties and involved in the beginnings of so many movements of social change. The only thing I probably wouldn’t enjoy would be the expected wearing of restrictive undergarments, but I’d probably be the first gal on my block to wear trousers anyway!
If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and why? Elephant for sure. First off, they lead long lives and their ‘society’ is based on a matriarch as head of the herd. They have a wisdom about them ( maybe it’s the wrinkles), thick skin to ward off negativity or predators, and are just so darn personable. One of my favorite stuffed animals is an elephant and one of the first pieces I bought for the house after my ex husband left was a small wooden carved elephant. They symbolize strength and perseverance to me.
Any person dead or alive, who would you have dinner with? Tough choice on this but would definitely be Elizabeth Blackwell, who was the first licensed female doctor in the United States. I find her life and career endlessly fascinating and would just want to know so much about how she pushed through boundaries and challenged society’s ideals about medicine and women.
What is on your life’s soundtrack? Quite a diverse list for me and just a small selection of my favorites:
Anything by YoYo Ma- nothing like the amazing sounds of the cello to guide me through writing and work projects
Who Says You Can’t Go Home- Bon Jovi and Jennifer Nettles
Hallelujah- Rufus Wainwright- I find this version so amazing, though truthfully, I love almost any version of the song
Stand- Lenny Kravitz- how can you not want to smile & dance about!!?!
Heart of Every Girl- Elton John
Girls Just Want to Have Fun- Cyndi Lauper
Time Flies- Smokey Robinson- if you have not heard it, YouTube it now. Amazingly poignant
Copa Cabana- Barry Manilow & Waterloo- Abba– because sometimes you need to sing silly songs and dance in the kitchen
Great Day to Be Alive- Travis Tritt- makes me endlessly happy
Bad, Bad Leroy Brown- Jim Croce- Love this song I think because my parents like him and it reminds me of them
Getting Better- The Beatles- because it really is getting better all the time
If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? As I write this, it is ten degrees in Massachusetts. I’d love to be in a quiet, remote spot that is warm like St. Bart’s. I’d love to just be sitting on the beach reading books and writing for weeks on end. Maybe I’ll sit in the sun this afternoon and crank my heat up to pretend haha.
Who has been your biggest inspiration throughout your QLC? My family and friends, Molly and the tribe of girls featured on blogs and through the groups I have been a part of, and so many other internet folks who shared stories of overcoming difficult times or uncertainty. During some of the toughest times of the QLC and working through the divorce, I have tried to keep the ideas of my 16 year old self in mind, especially the dreams and ideas I had about life then. While so many of them have changed as life has happened, the one thing that has remained is the vision of a happy woman smiling her way through life. That idea has definitely helped get me through a few dark moments.
If money, education, time, or location were not an issue, what would you be doing for work in life? A small cafe owner with a little shop that had delicious baked goods and yummy coffee.
What was the biggest mental shift you’ve made from 5 months ago to now? This has been huge for me- basically learning that just because I decided to end a marriage that I am not an un-loveable failure. I stood up for my life and chose happiness and while it is heartbreaking at the end of the relationship that this step will make both him and I better people in life. Because let’s face it, while it hurts me still that I made a vow and it is now broken, life is too short to be miserable for days on end.
What’s changed? List 10 little sweet things.
1. Being on my own schedule, doing my own thing as I want without having to check in with another person.
2. If I want to eat ice cream for dinner, I’m going to do it.
3. Sleeping in the middle of the big queen bed is pretty glorious.
4. Being able to leave clothes and clutter around if I don’t feel the need to put it right away.
5. Spending hours of a night reading in quiet without a TV on.
6. No cable- so great to not have the pull of junky TV every night to escape to instead of facing life.
7. Free weekends to do what I want.
8. Buying small things for the house that make me super happy.
9. Having one whole closet to myself
10. Quiet, sunny Sunday mornings just enjoying
What’s one thing that you’ve learned – in general or about yourself – over the past five months? That I am much stronger than I thought I was- and that I know myself far better than I give myself credit for. I’ve learning that trusting my gut is the one thing I should always rely on and that my judgement of people and their character tends to be pretty spot on. I’ve learned the true meaning of family and friendship, and experienced what real gratitude and being blessed feels like. I’ve learned that in times of crisis or change, you learn a lot about the people around you- who comes to your side, who falls away. I’ve learned that crying is not a sign of weakness and that breakdowns can lead to amazing things. I’ve learned more about love than I ever imagined- love of myself, love and loss of a partner, love of family and friends, and what I want love to look like in my future.
What would you have done differently on your Stratejoy journey if you were starting today? When I found out I was going to be a Stratejoy blogger, not everyone in my family and close circle of friends knew about my ex and I divorcing. It was important for me that people heard it from me first, not the blog. With a few situations, a few people found out from reading the blog which I deeply wish I could have changed. At the same time, going public with the divorce via the blog was also a great step because it often eliminated some of the tough or uncomfortable conversations about the divorce that I was dreading having.
What song(s) will remind you of the past five months? You Are Loved (Don’t Give Up) by Josh Groban, True Colors by Phil Collins, and Save Me, San Francisco by Train ( my trip to San Fran in September was the start of the a new beginning!)

What is your favorite thing about YOU? My love of learning, my insatiable quest for knowledge, and my endless curiosity

Name 3 things you absolutely love about yourself. First I’d like to say that five or six months ago I’m not sure this question would be easy to answer.
1. The ability to have a quiet night in with myself, a cup of tea, a good book, and my thoughts– and to know when I need those nights for my sanity.
2. My work ethic- whether it is in my job or in doing work around my house, I love how I take a project on with enthusiasm and work hard to achieve my goals. The sense of accomplishment and pride at the end of each project is intensely gratifying and self-fulfilling.
3. My strength- there have been so many times over the past six months when I have wanted to give up, but I put my head up and just power through to move forward. I’m doing things now on my own that I never imagined I could ever do.

How are you living life on your own terms? I made a huge life decision that had major implications for my, my ex husband, and our family and friends. I stood up for me and decided that a life apart would make us both happier than a life together. I’m living alone in a house that I making all my own and loving every.single.minute.of it.
divider

Next Page »