Archive

Sloths & Spanish Music

posted 25th January 2012    Written by: Laurenne    CATEGORY: All Posts, Laurenne, Life Lesson, Love/Relationships, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5

What are you obsessed with at this exact moment?
My brain! Is that too self-obsessed? Maybe. Being in school for psychology sure keeps me thinking about how to learn from everything. In class, they say to simply feel from the heart, but I prefer to overanalyze my childhood. I also can’t stop drinking coffee, eating buttered toasts, or saying ‘Fancy that!’

You can time travel but only to the past! What time period/ historical event do you go and experience?
I think I’d like to be a cavewoman. It might be so much easier to communicate without words. Or harder. I guess I’d like to see. I would definitely be a vegetarian cavewoman.

If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and why?
Dolphin. Or Sloth. I used to want to be a bird, but I think I would hate living above the sea and not having hands.

Any person dead or alive, who would you have dinner with?
My dad. Snoozer answer, but I would love to talk to him and be like, “So… about your suicide…?”

What is on your life’s soundtrack?
I have, what some may call, strange taste in music. I’m a bilingual girl who doesn’t keep up with the kids today. So, I like old ballads sung in Spanish. This one by Joan Sebastian is my favorite. I love ‘Grita’ by Jarabe de Palo when I’m sad. And I belt Julieta Venegas or Regina Spektor when I’m happy.
When I want to marvel, I listen to the smartest wordsmith musician I’ve ever heard, Brian Cutean. Favorite lyric is his song, ‘Three Little Letters’: BMW? BFD.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?
My goal is to get this question and be able to say, “I am completely content where I am right now no matter what.” Until then, I will say a warm beach in Panama, playing futbol with the local kids while the sun goes down, no to-do list in sight.

Who has been your biggest inspiration throughout your QLC?
Ugh. I hate this answer, but I must speak my truth. When Steve Jobs died, I was like, “Guys, he just made some computers. Relax. No big deal. Bah.” But… He believed he could do things, and then he did them. So, he’s pretty inspiring. I also like to think about how Tina Fey is a funny woman who carved out her own path. I’m inspired by everyone here all the time too– I LOVE anyone who says they will do something and then does it.

If money, education, time, or location were not an issue, what would you be doing for work in life?
I’ve been asking myself this question forever. I think it’s what I’m doing now. Writing! I think. It might be nice to be doing it from a little bungalow on that warm beach though. I’ve been teaching writing workshops, and I love the idea of writing therapy. I’d love to cultivate that in the future and be a writer who spends half the year writing from that warm beach and the other half leading seminars and speaking around the US. I also think being a medical examiner would be so interesting. The human body!

What was the biggest mental shift you’ve made from 5 months ago to now?
There have been many! I think mostly I’ve developed more patience, trust, and the ability to be gentle with myself. I started Stratejoy just as I submitted my book to agents. I thought I needed to sell it ASAP to be considered a ‘real writer.’ If not, I thought I’d be a failure and my life would mean nothing. Since then, I see how things take time. I see how much I’m learning from each rejection I get, so I know that I wasn’t supposed to sell my book immediately. I am trusting that this process is going just as it’s supposed to. I’m trusting my own abilities. And I’m not putting so much emphasis on outside validation. I don’t need that credit to my name to be considered ‘real’ or ‘valid’ or ‘good enough.’

What’s changed? List 10 little sweet things.
-I’m putting myself first more often.
-I’m more gentle and loving toward myself.
-I have a vision board!
-I’ve stopped judging my mom and our relationship has blossomed (not really a LITTLE thing!).
-I’ve alloted more time to game nights and friends!
-I’m taking on only projects I love (what a relief!).
-I’m managing time wisely.
-I’m taking more time to just experience joy.
-I feel a new sense of calm.
-I’ve set a new order of priorities.
-I am trusting that everything is just how it’s supposed to be.

What’s one thing that you’ve learned – in general or about yourself – over the past five months?
I don’t always have to be the best, the most perfect, the first, etc. I am enough how I am NOW! In the past, I’ve spent so much time reeeeeaching for perfect. My teacher asked me, “If you were perfect, how would you know?”

What would you have done differently on your Stratejoy journey if you were starting today?
I’d put aside a specific amount of time each week to write so I didn’t feel so rushed! Time, you elusive bitch.

What song(s) will remind you of the past five months?
This one by Bebe really reminds me of any QLC. I heard it while running a few months ago, and I just burst into tears on the path by the beach. Favorite lyric in that song: Today you will discover that the world is just for you.

What is your favorite thing about YOU?
Just one!? I love my ability to never be offended and to see that everyone means well.

Name 3 things you absolutely love about yourself.
Oh, okay. Three more.
1.) My body! It’s awesome and helps me do everything I want to do every day. Hands are pretty cool.
2.) My willingness to laugh at everything– not in a deflecting way but in a way that means ‘Hey! Life is weird. Let’s make the fucking best of it.’
3.) My brain. It thinks a lot and I’m so grateful for it. I love how I’m constantly learning and being open to whatever might enter my thoughts.

How are you living life on your own terms?
I try to not be swayed by society. I don’t watch TV (besides illegally streamed ‘Shark Tank’ episodes). I don’t keep up with rules. I don’t listen to anybody who tells me I can’t do something. I believe that anything is possible. I don’t let money be an excuse. I make things happen. I love myself.

divider

An Interview: – Mmmbop, Baking Soda As Shampoo, and The Courage To Say No

posted 24th January 2012    Written by: Ashley    CATEGORY: All Posts, Ashley, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5

I can’t even wrap my mind around the fact that these five months writing for Stratejoy and sharing my story with you are almost over. It just doesn’t seem possible. I have loved every moment of it and have learned more about myself than I could have expected. But before we get all mushy-gushy, it’s time for the interview questions. I have loved reading these posts during the four previous seasons, so I hope you will enjoy it too!

What are you obsessed with at this exact moment?

Bloggers in Sin City, training for my half-marathon next month(!!!!!), Greek yogurt, The West Wing (how is it possible that I’ve never watched this show before?!), working toward my goals for 2012, and The Bachelor. Guilty pleasure.

You can time travel but only to the past! What time period/ historical event do you go and experience?

This is a really hard question to answer because I love history and would trade my pinky finger to actually be able to time travel. Just one time period? Okay, let’s go with the 1950′s. I know it wasn’t extremely progressive in terms of women’s rights and the world was recuperating from a devastating war, but idea of wearing a poodle skirt, spending my Friday nights at the local diner eating a hamburger and chocolate milkshake while listening to “Book of Love” on the jukebox sounds amazing.

If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and why?

A penguin, for no other reason than I think they are adorable with their tuxedo-like suits, their inability to fly, and their determination to migrate thousands of miles by waddling through the snow.

Any person dead or alive, who would you have dinner with?

My dad. Spending an evening with him, asking him all those questions I thought were “too boring” or “too personal”, letting him know what he’s missed over these past three years, and telling him how much I love him, just one more time.

What is on your life’s soundtrack?

“Mmmbop”- Hanson
“Slide”- Goo Goo Dolls
“Drops of Jupiter”- Train
“Somebody Loved” – The Weepies
“Waterfalls” – TLC
“Brand New Day” – Joshua Radin
“Fearless” – Taylor Swift
“Set Fire To The Rain” – Adele

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?

Canada, with my boyfriend. Since we only get to see each other every other month, any extra time together would be priceless and so much appreciated! We would be curled up in bed together drinking coffee and watching The Breakfast Club. Ahhh, perfect.

Who has been your biggest inspiration throughout your QLC?

Of course Molly has been a huge, huge inspiration. But outside of Stratejoy, Brene Brown blows me away. I read her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, last fall and my life was changed. I love her view of courage, vulnerability, and learning to accept who you are. If you haven’t already, please go read this book immediately!

If money, education, time, or location were not an issue, what would you be doing for work in life?

Okay, this goes back to the post I wrote last week about my job vs. my career and I guess this is where I find my answer. I would still want to be a counselor, just in a different environment. I would love to own a private practice and work with teenagers and their families to help them understand that even though life is hard, you are not alone and it does get better. And my big (scary) dream is to somehow begin reaching out and counseling young women through the internet. I know it’s possible, I just have to find out how.

What was the biggest mental shift you’ve made from 5 months ago to now?

Accepting the idea that not everyone is going to like me. When I’m working toward something I believe in, something I’m passionate about, I will be faced with critics, and that’s okay.

What’s changed? List 10 little sweet things.

1. I moved out of my apartment and into a new apartment with my sister.
2. I began training for a half-marathon and after never having run more than two miles, I’m up to 10 miles! 10 miles!
3. Discovering the deliciousness that is whipped cream vodka.
4. On Friday nights, I’m not as worried about telling friends no. I’ve accepted my introvert self and the fact that I’d rather stay in, eat pizza, and watch movies by myself.
5. I fell in love with a little puppy named Louis.
6. Baking soda as shampoo. Yeah.
7. Apparently I’m really good at fantasy hockey… and I don’t even watch hockey.
8. I don’t put up with as much crap from people.
9. I finally know what I want my life to look like.
10. My self-confidence and excitement about life has grown. Hugely.

What’s one thing that you’ve learned – in general or about yourself - over the past five months?

Sometimes people are wrong. Even people who know you really well and who want the best for you, sometimes they’re wrong.

What would you have done differently on your Stratejoy journey if you were starting today?

I would have written more introspective posts and focused on what was happening in the moment. I feel like I spent a lot of time reminiscing and reflecting on the past when I could have used that time to look forward and create my brilliant, bold life.

What song(s) will remind you of the past five months?

“Sweeter” – Gavin DeGraw, “Shake It Out” – Florence and the Machine, and “The Broken Ones”- Dia Frampton

What is your favorite thing about YOU?

My empathy. I love that I genuinely care about people and want to understand them. I love that I can put myself in their shoes, feel what they are feeling, and give them some love.

Name 3 things you absolutely love about yourself.

1. I am not ashamed that I have “bad” taste in music, that I go to bed before 10pm, or that I really hate wearing high heels.
2. When I want something, I make it happen.
3. Even though I’m “shy” and would never say this to your face, I really do want to be friends with everyone.

How are you living life on your own terms?

Standing up for myself and having the courage to say no when how I’m being treated is not okay. Buying that gorgeous new grey nail polish and spending the evening taking a bubble bath. Saying YES! to a weekend in Vegas with 60 of my favorite bloggers. Doing the research to learn how to consolidate my loans so that I am not financially imprisoned. Accepting the idea of wanting to be a counselor, but also exploring other options. Letting myself live freedom, embrace vulnerability, and practice self-love.

[photo credit: Me. Whipped cream vodka, sprite, and raspberries; AKA- you're new favorite drink]

divider

The Interview

posted 23rd January 2012    Written by: Hannah    CATEGORY: All Posts, Hannah, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, What I've Learned

What are you obsessed with at this exact moment?

Pinterest. Pinterest. Pinterest.  Coffee (always). Notebooks, pens, sticky notes.  My new chocolate brown flat boots.  Babies.  Snow days. The smell of books.  Couples photography.  Words With Friends.  Other photographers’ blogs.  House hunting.  Thinking about how to decorate a house.  Craft supplies.  Sleep.

You can time travel but only to the past! What time period/ historical event do you go and experience?

To be totally honest, I don’t really have an interest in going back in time.  I’m happy to be moving forward.  If I had to choose, maybe I’d go back and meet the grandparents I never knew…

 If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and why?

It is impossible for me to answer this question in a non-cheesy way.  I debated being a caterpillar because of the impending amazing change that would be in my future.  I debated being a bird so I could fly.  Or maybe a bear so I could sleep all winter. But my gut instinct was a dog…a lab or retriever.  I don’t know why…because they love so big?

Any person dead or alive, who would you have dinner with?

I’ve always hated this question because under pressure I can never think of anyone!  I think it’s a tie between Mary Oliver, Dr. Seuss, Maya Angelou, and Oprah.  Maybe a dinner party.

What is on your life’s soundtrack?

Matt Nathanson, Amos Lee, Joshua Radin, Regina Spektor, Tori Amos, The Weepies, Ingrid Michaelson, Augustana, Damien Rice, Ray LaMontagne, Bright Eyes…oh and Counting Crows, Pearl Jam, Bush and always a little Alanis.

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be? 

This is such a hard question.  The answer used to be Italy, but we finally did that on our honeymoon!!!  There are a million places I want to see and lots of places I’ve already seen and would like to go back to…maybe I would be on a real vacation with my family somewhere none of us have ever been…in the mountains somewhere by a lake…we’d play games, read, relax, cook really good food, drink wine, Dad would go fishing, we’d all go for a hike, go out on a boat…yes, that sounds good.

Who has been your biggest inspiration throughout your QLC?

Is it vain to say “myself”?  Every time I take another step towards getting through my QLC I amaze myself.  I’ve never had as much confidence, pride in what I’m working on, or urge to move forward and grow than I have this year.  Seeing what I can do makes me want to do more.  But also, Jasmine Star, who quit law school and pursued her passion for wedding photography (and is like crazy super successful now!)

If money, education, time, or location were not an issue, what would you be doing for work in life? 

Writing, photographing couples in love, designing events, and travelling…I’m halfway there I suppose!

What was the biggest mental shift you’ve made from 5 months ago to now?

I’ve realized that the feelings of needing to do more, be myself, and live life my way are not unique to me.  I guess I probably knew that before, but it is so inspiring to know that there are SO MANY women (and men) out there who aren’t willing to settle.  It makes me feel like I’m not a total freak for not wanting a 9-5 corporate job.  The solidarity of the Stratejoy tribe is so uplifting!

That and realizing that I can make my life what I want it to be.

What’s changed? List 10 little sweet things.

  1. I quit one of my nanny gigs and chose a date to give notice to the second.
  2. I talked Mister into helping me squeeze even more furniture into our tiny place and made myself a desk/workspace
  3. I started writing again (like all the time)
  4. I started listening to music again
  5. I take more time for myself to do the things that keep me sane
  6. I take more pride in the way I look – actually dress in real person clothes rather than “nanny clothes” more often
  7. I found a more productive to do list system
  8. I found my “niche” in photography
  9. I make more time for my girlfriends
  10. I’m more comfortable being me (and isn’t that the best thing we can wish for ourselves?!)

What’s one thing that you’ve learned – in general or about yourself – over the past five months?

This sort of goes with my biggest mental shift, but beyond what I already said, I learned to trust myself, go with my gut, pour myself into the things that are important to me, and most importantly, to be unapologetically me.

What would you have done differently on your Stratejoy journey if you were starting today?

I would’ve done it earlier!  You can’t imagine what it does to your perception to have to write about your QLC every week.  It has been that extra push I’ve been needing all along!

What song(s) will remind you of the past five months?

Adele (love her, but SO over played!).
Mason Jennings – Be here now
Rosi Golan – Hazy
Jason Walker – Down

What is your favorite thing about YOU?

I refuse to settle.

Name 3 things you absolutely love about yourself. 

I’m creative.  I have great intuition.  The color of my eyes.

How are you living life on your own terms?

I’m trying so hard to live life on my own terms.  Building a business that allows me to do what I love, trying to surround myself with the things and people that I love, being honest with myself about my needs, goals, and intentions…but mostly I’m trying to live with this in mind:

Express myself honestly and with compassion.
Do what I love.
Always seek knowledge and understanding.
Live with intention.
Treat my body with respect.
Trust myself.

[Photo Credit: Brenda Ulinski]

divider

Leaving a Legacy

posted 22nd January 2012    Written by: Elyse    CATEGORY: All Posts, Elyse, Inspiration, Life Lesson, Season 5, What I've Learned

The dictionary definition of “legacy” is surprisingly boring and uninspiring:

leg·a·cy
noun
1. Law . a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, a will; a bequest.
2. anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor: the legacy of ancient Rome.
3. an applicant to or student at a school that was attended by his or her parent.
4. Obsolete . the office, function, or commission of a legate.
adjective
5. of or pertaining to old or outdated computer hardware, software, or data that, while still functional, does not work well with up-to-date systems.

I always imagined a legacy to be the mark one left on the world after their flame went out; something romantic and provocative that made people remember you and what you stood for. I’m not sure I want to leave a legacy if it only pertains to personal property, the college of your parents or outdated computer hardware. Now, if a legacy truly is closer to my imagined definition, leaving a legacy is definitely worth working on before I die.

However, I’m worried I might be so focused on leaving a legacy, I forget to live my life befitting of one. So many acts in this world, whether of creation or destruction, are done in the name of making a name for oneself so the world doesn’t forget. It can be good inspiration to accomplish something grand, but if all the focus is on a future world without you, the world with you will be unfulfilled and unlived.

Keeping that in mind, I do want to leave a lasting impression on the world. One that is positive and impactful, but I have to realize everything I do might not be as inspiring to some as it is to me. What if people don’t remember my name after I’m gone? What if they don’t continue to talk about my accomplishments? I think…that this is ok. I already shout my name and my accomplishments to the world with my action, but I can’t worry about what happens after. The most important  question will always be to me, not what others think about me after I’m gone, but the feeling of fulfillment I have about life when I take my dying breath.  If I could shout one thing to my peers from the rooftops? Don’t worry about making meaning in your death. Live to make meaning in your life. Right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

{Photo Credit: CountyLemonade}

divider

15 Years Apart

posted 22nd January 2012    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kat, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, What I've Learned

Dear 15-year-old Kat,

The past 15 years have been interesting, that’s for sure. Life certainly takes a much different path than you’re imagining right now, but I think you’re going to love the way it all comes together! There are so many things I want to tell you not to do (namely, guys to avoid), but if I did that, you’d miss so many other opportunities, so…I can’t. Bummer. (No, I really can’t. I know you’ve seen that episode of The Simpsons where Homer time-travels using a toaster, and things get crazy. I know you don’t want a world without doughnuts.)

I’m hoping that I can give you a little advice that will guide you through what’s to come, though. Even though you’re going to have certain challenging experiences, I promise you’ll learn from each of them, even when it doesn’t seem that way at the time.

I can tell you to be less afraid of questioning things, especially when it comes to your family. It’s okay to want what you want, even if they don’t understand it. (Hint: they’re never really going to get it, and that’s okay. They’re still your family and they love you.)

Speaking of your family, spend more time with your grandparents, looking through old photos and learning about your family history. Head over to make pierogi from scratch with your grandma, or have her teach you how to sew. Try to convince one of them to start teaching you Polish or Italian. You won’t regret that.

The love of travel that you’ll develop this coming summer is going to be hugely influential in your life. Run with it. And when your dad gives you his Nikon FM, get a tune-up for it immediately. You’ll want to take it with you everywhere you go. Take lots of photos.

Over the coming years, the saying that your friends are the family you choose will become increasingly true for you. Choose wisely! (Mostly you do.)

Don’t be afraid to be YOU. Be willing to break some of the rules. Let yourself dive into life, even though sometimes it hurts. You have an amazing support network, and they will help you through the tough times. Don’t be so hard on yourself!

Last but not least, I want you to know that you that you’re strong, capable, and beautiful. No matter what the guys you date over the years say – and some of them will say some awful stuff – that you shouldn’t stop believing that.

I love you! Don’t forget to love yourself, too!

30-year-old Kat

[photo credit: me!]

divider

« Previous Page — Next Page »