The in-between time…
Sometimes you feel like you are just waiting for the next big transition, the next big change to happen to you. You feel like you are biding your time while the external forces in your life follow their own slow, sweet process.
Waiting to graduate from grad school so you can discover and land your dream job. Waiting to give birth, 20 weeks pregnant with 20 weeks to go. Waiting to leave a marriage full of friendship but no love because you’re not financially stable on your own yet. Waiting to chase your passions until your job gets so horrid you can’t take it one moment longer.
Waiting to make the move. To take the chance. To risk it all. To choose love.
Waiting to be the woman you know is just a layer beneath the one that’s visible to the world.
It’s hard to be patient and sit in uncertainty in our culture of instant gratification and overnight success. It’s grating to keep waking up every morning and feel like you are still not “there”. It’s disorientating to know you’re ready for the next step, but that next step isn’t clear.
You want answers. You want results.
You want to arrive.
Sometimes the clues you’ve been gathering in your life don’t add up. The discoveries you’re making, the “aha’s” you’re having, the treasures unearthed, don’t make any sense in your world as it stands now.
A lot of the time your current reality feels random, messy, uncertain.
You are in-between two versions of your life, craving clarity.
Desperate for courage. For timing. For acceptance.
Waiting to finish. Waiting to begin.
Waiting for something…
The uncertainty makes you uncomfortable because you want to see yourself as a strong woman who can tune into your intuition and then take immediate action. A woman who can make a decision! Who can propel positive forward movement! Who can get yourself unstuck!
A woman who can just fucking decide.
You want to take action so that you can feel like you are in control.
The in-between time can be rife with confusion and frustration, full of moments when you feel like you have no control. You question everything: Is this the sign I’ve been waiting for? Is now the time? Is this the moment I can no longer compromise my integrity?
Damn, is it uncomfortable.
Here’s the thing, sugar.
You can’t always know the why of your life and you can’t always control the timing.
Getting comfortable with uncertainty is the universal challenge in lives full of transition.
Strengthening your trust muscle — trust in your own capability, trust in the universal laws of love, trust in the undeniable fact that the uncertain becomes certain somewhere down the road — allows you to just be with discomfort.
Why is the is happening to me? What does it mean? What should I do? When should I do it?
Sometimes all you can do is nothing. Observe. Gather. Pray. Wait.
Go about your life in the moment, without forcing a new outcome. Stop clenching, stop fighting so hard for control.
Relax into the uncertainty, dear one.
Find your peace and joy in the present, the grace and goodness in these in-between times.
I am right there with you.