[This is the very first post in The ABC's of Self-Love Blog Crawl + Treasure Hunt!  Find out more about what's happening and how YOU can win a FREE Fierce Love Course on February 21st.]

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“What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?” -Oriah Mountain Dreamer

The very base of my self-love, of my willingness to adore myself, starts with acceptance.  It starts with truly being, loving, and accepting the person I really am.

It’s a work in progress, of course.

Some days I don’t want to accept my struggles as I interact with the world — those times when I’m caught up in busyness at the neglect of self-care, when I fail to follow through on commitments, when I lose patience with my husband.  Some days I’d like to ignore my personal weaknesses — my need for privacy, the fine line I toe between emotional IQ and manipulation, my dramatic sensitivity — and only show you the toned down shades of my shadow self.  Some days I fight wildly against the present — the hardships, the unknowns, the quest for freedom.

But can we practice self-love without accepting who we are? 

The simple answer is no.  Our self-love would be built on false ideals of who we’d like to be in the future, of who we imagine we might be if the world didn’t know our secrets.  We would dole out our self-love if only we made more money, lost more weight, made a bigger difference.

We would move forward in life trying to win our own approval with affirmations, awards, achievements.

Without acceptance, it wouldn’t be fierce self-love.  We’d be licking the whipped cream off the top and thinking we were tasting the entire key lime pie.

Navigating the balance between healthy striving to become the best version of myself and loving myself exactly as I am isn’t easy.

It’s fucking hard sometimes.

But I want to be the person I really am.   And that desire starts with acceptance.

Luckily, accepting who I am is more than embracing my (gorgeous, quirky, messy) imperfections. It’s also about celebrating my strengths, admiring my awesome, appreciating my honor.

I can adore my infectious smile, my work ethic, my overflowing affectation, my laser sharp memory for others’ stories and situations.  I can accept my shining glimpses of glory — having a breakthrough conversation, summiting a new mountain, simply getting to the magical inbox zero. I can be grateful for my desire to make a difference and my belief that people are good. I can revel in the present — the richness of love and support, the gifts of a growing family, the health of my body.

Acceptance isn’t handing the reigns of your live over to fate, but relishing the present moment. 

“When we put down ideas of what life should be like, we are free to wholeheartedly say yes to our life as it is.” -Tara Brach

Acceptance is both a call to respect the entire range of emotions we experience and a reminder that we are all doing the best we can in the moment.   We can open our eyes to the present, without worrying so much about the past and without so much anxiety about the future.

It doesn’t mean that we can’t grow, change, bloom or reinvent. Acceptance, as requisite for self-love, is a call for compassion, not an excuse for apathy.  Embracing of our whole self allows us to unfurl and feed our true desires from a steady base of honesty, clarity and self-love.

Self-love needs acceptance to put down roots. 

When we embrace the fullness of who we are — quirks, gifts, idiosyncrasies, strengths and all — we give ourselves permission to relax into our own lives.   A state of fierce, radical love for ourselves cannot be built with a pick and choose mentality.  We cannot celebrate pieces of our lives, while denying others.  There’s no eating the marshmallows and leaving the charms swimming in the milky bowl.

I think the question should be “In how many ways can I be myself?” 

And the answer?  The good, the bad, the pretty, and the ugly…

I can accept responsibility for my actions. I can accept that I am still discovering how to be the truest version of me in a world of pressure and hunger and strife.  I can accept that I’m whip-smart and ambitious. I can accept my desire to be validated.  I can accept the cellulite on my thighs, our undecorated bedroom, the sorry of collection of bras that actually fit right now, the state of my garage, and the fact that I’m incredibly behind on emails.  I can accept my amazing book collection, my loyalty, my craving for adrenaline, my strong beliefs in equality, and my love for my unborn son.

The answer I’m working up to?

I accept my life and myself, without shame, guilt or doubt, but with an open heart and joyful celebration.

All in the name of self-love, baby.

In how many ways can YOU be yourself?

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[This Blog Crawl of Self-Love is hosted by Molly Mahar of Stratejoy (that's me!). She believes in the transformational power of truly adoring ourselves (I do!).  Find out more about The ABC’s of Self Love Blog Crawl + Treasure Hunt here.]

The dictionary definition of “legacy” is surprisingly boring and uninspiring:

leg·a·cy
noun
1. Law . a gift of property, especially personal property, as money, a will; a bequest.
2. anything handed down from the past, as from an ancestor or predecessor: the legacy of ancient Rome.
3. an applicant to or student at a school that was attended by his or her parent.
4. Obsolete . the office, function, or commission of a legate.
adjective
5. of or pertaining to old or outdated computer hardware, software, or data that, while still functional, does not work well with up-to-date systems.

I always imagined a legacy to be the mark one left on the world after their flame went out; something romantic and provocative that made people remember you and what you stood for. I’m not sure I want to leave a legacy if it only pertains to personal property, the college of your parents or outdated computer hardware. Now, if a legacy truly is closer to my imagined definition, leaving a legacy is definitely worth working on before I die.

However, I’m worried I might be so focused on leaving a legacy, I forget to live my life befitting of one. So many acts in this world, whether of creation or destruction, are done in the name of making a name for oneself so the world doesn’t forget. It can be good inspiration to accomplish something grand, but if all the focus is on a future world without you, the world with you will be unfulfilled and unlived.

Keeping that in mind, I do want to leave a lasting impression on the world. One that is positive and impactful, but I have to realize everything I do might not be as inspiring to some as it is to me. What if people don’t remember my name after I’m gone? What if they don’t continue to talk about my accomplishments? I think…that this is ok. I already shout my name and my accomplishments to the world with my action, but I can’t worry about what happens after. The most important  question will always be to me, not what others think about me after I’m gone, but the feeling of fulfillment I have about life when I take my dying breath.  If I could shout one thing to my peers from the rooftops? Don’t worry about making meaning in your death. Live to make meaning in your life. Right now.

{Photo Credit: CountyLemonade}

As most of you know, I keep my list of favorite courses, resources, and books on the Store page — but sometimes I can’t keep up with the lovely things being produced by my colleagues.  And by colleagues I mean amazing women I know personally, who are truly living life on their own terms and helping others shift or grow in some way…

Transform.  Play Bigger.  Cultivate Gifts.  See the World through Fresh Lenses.  Make Huge Decisions.  Celebrate Joy.

If you’ve been looking for some inspiration in the form of a course or retreat (or are just looking for some new beauties to follow online!) please wander through this round up of things I’m digging right now.

Playing Big with Tara Sophia Mohr

I had the honor to teach with Tara Sophia in Seattle at our Brilliant Women Salon last April.  She is wise, tiny sparkplug of inspiration: uber-smart, truly kind, and grounded in a way that I can only admire from afar as I buzz around, flapping my hands as I speak too quickly and laugh too frequently.  Her own Playing Big journey has been amazing to watch — from launching a major program last year (this one!) , to writing for the Huff Post, to some major TV appearances to spread her message — she has truly  walks her talk and has major skills and knowledge to share.

In Tara’s words…

What is Playing Big?

Your playing big isn’t defined on the world’s terms. It isn’t necessarily owning an empire or making millions. You know what playing big means for you. It’s following that inspiration that is in your heart. Seeing it through. It is getting out there – visible – like the women you so admire. It is your voice, your vision, your unique contribution flowing forth, no longer shrunken down, stopped up inside you, or compromised.

Here’s the good news: if you have been playing small, it’s okay. Most of us don’t play big naturally, on our own, without any support. We need tools, support, training – a process – to help us play bigger.

The six-month Playing Big journey gives women the inner foundation and the practical skills that they need to play bigger. We could call it a “program” or a “course” but it’s a revolution. It’s a movement. Women playing big is going to change the world.

And guess what?  We’re hosting a FREE WEBINAR this Thursday night!  It will be 45-60 minute video conversation about how we “Play Big” in our own lives, full of inspiration, big truths and laughter, I’m sure.

All you need to do? Join us at 6 pm PST/ 7 pm MST/ 8 pm CST/ 9 pm EST this Thursday the 19th! 

• If you want to register so you get reminders and the call recording  CLICK HERE.
• If you just want access to the call on the 19th CLICK HERE.

The Photo Essay Project with Bindu Wiles

This just started yesterday, but it’s definitely not to late to join in!  I’m taking it and really looking forward to having a chance to express myself creativity that has nothing to do with my business!  Let it be noted that I’m also a bit nervous — what if I don’t have time to shoot everyday (although since it’s done on iPhones, I don’t really have any excuses…), what if everyone else is totally awesome and I suck, what if [insert fear that's yet to be identified]?

But I’ve had the chance to meet Bindu a few different times and have been reading her blog for quite awhile and this is definitely not that type of course.  No real need for nerves or comparison.

Bindu is a gentle spirit who’s been through a lot, and still truly believes in the goodness of humankind.  My kind of woman!  She’s also quirky (see her penchant for bow ties) and an amazing street photographer, armed with nothing up her iPhone and some sweet apps.   I’m truly excited to learn from her during this Photo Essay Project.

In her words…

The Well-Fed Woman Retreatshops with Rachel W Cole

I love Rachel Cole.  Last spring she was my lighthouse in some stormy waters — serving beautifully as my personal coach when all I knew was that I was feeling “off”.  I told her I felt disconnected from what I really loved and wanted to jam on creativity, spirituality, and sexuality.  Um… Talk about some broad topics!

I adored getting on the phone with her every week and even more, I loved meeting her in Portland for a lovely dinner at the Ace Hotel.  She’s a breath of fresh air, a courageous soul, and one of my personal heroines for her ruthless (yet gorgeous) commitment to asking and answering for herself and her clients, “What are you truly hungry for?”

And this is the best part.  She’s traveling around the country leading Well-Fed Woman Mini Retreatshops for lucky women in Petaluma, Berkely, Fort Collins, New York, Providence, Northampton, Alexandria, San Francisco,  Seattle, Portland, Chicago, Minneapolis and Los Angeles.  If you live in one of these cities, you need to get your booty into a Retreatshop.  I know it make a difference in your world.

In her words…

Who are the retreatshops for?

Women who want to say yes to themselves instead of no.
Women who sense that they have more greatness to birth.
Women who desire to know and trust their own hungers.
Women who want to trust their desires.
Women who crave the courage to step more deeply into their lives.
Women who want to explore their relationship to themselves.
Women who know the power of women sitting with other women.

You’ll meet all types of women — young and old, dread-locked and bow-tied, at war and at peace with food, religious and agnostic. There is no one type of woman for whom this experience is designed. If you want to know and feed your truest hungers, at and away from the table, The Retreatshop is for you. Each session will bring together just 15 women.

For me, the word hunger has several meanings. In general, however, food hungers are simply doorways into the disconnection so many women have with their deeper hungers in life – in their careers, relationships, creativity, self-care, and spirituality.

We will explore food-related hungers, and how understanding them can help us understand the broader hungers we each experience. You’ll gain important insights into your personal hungers from The Retreatshop whether you are at war or at peace with food.

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Those are the woman making me sparkle right now!  What have you seen online that you’re digging?  I’d love to hear your recommendations, sugar pop.  See you Thursday for the Webinar I hope!

I’m working on a book. Surprise! I love reading so much, that I always promised myself one day, I would write a book that embraces all the things I love about other stories. I finally started to do it, but I’m coming up against the same problems I have always had when writing.

My brain moves too quickly, ebbing and flowing like the ocean beneath the stars (much as I would imagine Dover Beach to be but only because such a fantastic poem was written about it), and I can’t sit still long enough to have one linear thought. Even during work or other activities, my mind often wanders to far off places and big dreams. I would lie awake at night as a kid and couldn’t sleep because my mind would concoct some crazy dreams about what I was going to be doing in the future. Epic movies, books, and music don’t help as they force me to insert myself into the mix and imagine what it would be like if I was the character in that book or song. Especially music. I have always been attracted to “movie” music because my poor brain that finds no rest can focus for those few minutes on that song…I can see myself in a story embraced by that song.

I can focus on the energy and emotion of that music, yet eventually my mind wanders yet again. I am in a romantic or dangerous situation that requires strength or courage or even just a bit of spunk on my part, and the song comes alive with a story.

Movies and books have a story already laid out for you, but you can still find yourself locked in the pages or the scenes knowing that your life would be that much richer if you could come alive inside that story. Lack of money, lack of longterm goals, lack of what feels like a soul heartbeat ceases to matter because you are NOT stone you are NOT cold you are ALIVE with blood rushing through you and that incredible sensation of beauty and accomplishment lunging through your very veins with the speed of a jet airplane. And for a moment, you gather all the hope to your chest and cling to it for fear that every moment it pulls itself away from you.

These words only begin to describe the anxiety disorder that currently sits in my brain – chemical imbalances and hormonal issues causing mood swings, panic and eternal sadness. I have written my best poems and journal entries when in this fluctuating state – they are drenched in deep, cool colors that feel as vast as the sea.

Many times I type with my eyes closed because all I can hear is the music and see nothing that is technology or the modern world I find myself in. Just music and a slight clicking sound as these thoughts start in my brain and like lightening, rush through my nerve endings and type rhythmically though I don’t even want to think of the typing because it is of a world that I despair in and a world that makes me so sad my heart breaks. I want to fly because I feel like I deserve to. I want my actions to make a difference; I want my every move to embrace beauty and humanity. I want to follow all the paths that have been laid out before me, but I’m so afraid to choose the wrong one. Alice fell down the rabbit hole due to a miscalculated move to close to the edge and the path was chosen for her. I know I don’t want the path chosen for me but it sometimes seems so much easier. What I’m trying to say is…I’m writing a book to capture all those fleeting thoughts, ideas and characters that I’ve created all along my life path. Even if it isn’t any good or doesn’t make any sense, I think there will be peace from writing it all down.

{Photo Credit: jjpacres}

Ladies!  We need your help!  Are you feeling the spirit of giving this month?  ‘Cause we’ve got a challenge for YOU.

Here’s the story:  Hannah Brencher is the amazing woman behind “More Love Letters”. After a year-long commitment to write herself a love letter each day, Hannah realized the power of LOVE.  She wanted to take her self love vision and turn it into a do good world movement.  So what did she do?  She launched the More Love Letters project where she encourages those interested to write an anonymous Love Letter and leave it in  a public place for someone else to find.

Sounds amazing, eh?   Wouldn’t you feel great if you found a love letter just waiting for you out in the world?  What if you were the writer of such loveliness?

We’re proud to team up with Hannah on the 12 Days of Love Letter Writing – She’s selected 12 people who need some extra shine in their lives. We’re one of the lucky sites hosting one of the love letter recipients. (To Fierce Love, baby!)

Here is the specially selected lady needs a little bit of love from the Tribe at Stratejoy:

“Erika is a 29-year-old young woman with the world at her feet. Her younger sister, by just 15 months, requested this love letter for her, “She spent 6 months on a mission trip ministering to women who were being sex trafficked. She is a leader at her local church and a veteran. She is the kindest and smartest person I know. She is married to a man that absolutely adores her…who wouldn’t?? She has been such an inspiration to me.” Erika is currently applying to law school and has been really down on herself, thinking she won’t get in. Erika’s sister wrote, ‘She could really use some encouragement so that she feelings about herself could match how I feel about her.’”

How can you help? – Pick up your favorite pen, some pretty paper, and spill some love over to Erika.  Say whatever is in your heart, think about a time when you doubted yourself and share some inspiration with our girl.  When you’re done, send the love letter off to Hannah at:  PO Box 2061, North Haven, CT 06473  - She will be bundling all of the love letters and sending them over to Erika to read.

Before you mail off your letters, if you’d like, take a photo of it and e-mail it to katie@stratejoy.com and she’ll get them right over to Hannah! You can also tweet the photo to your followers and encourage others to write to Erika too!

Here are some sample tweets to get you rolling…

I’m joining @stratejoy in a special @moreloveletters mission!  Details here:  http://wp.me/pqf7H-3DX

I believe in the power of love. You too? Join @stratejoy (and me!) for a special @moreloveletters mission. http://wp.me/pqf7H-3DX

Making the world better one love letter at a time…  I’m teaming up with @stratejoy and @moreloveletters!  http://wp.me/pqf7H-3DX

Wanna know more about Hannah and the More Love Letters Project? Head on over to: http://www.moreloveletters.com/

There are many days where I am anxious and extremely stressed whether it is about finances, work, family issues, or any other number of concerns. Everyone has days like this, but for me, these feelings operate on a whole other level because I have an anxiety disorder.

My extreme anxiety has led to depression, panic attacks, insomnia, weight loss, weight gain, and other symptoms that make it hard to lead a productive life on those days. I am on medication for the anxiety which has made my life so much easier day-to-day, but I still have a few really bad days.

I know I won’t always be anxiety-free, even on medication, because anxiety is a natural part of our human nature. But, I’ve been working on strategies for years to help cope on those freak-out days. My newest anxiety-fighter has been yoga. I took advantage of a yoga Groupon, and the difference has been incredible. I feel calmer, move a lot smoother, and generally feel physically good.

Tea is one of my quick fixes. Something about a good cup of tea really makes me slow down, take a deep breath and just sip. It is warm, comforting and easy to have at any time. I keep tea in my desk at work and drink bedtime tea before bed. I also take 20.  This means whenever I feel myself getting worked up, I immediately stop what I’m doing (if possible) and take a 20 minute break. Sometimes this means taking a walk, but it can also be locking myself in a dark room and laying on the floor for 20 minutes. It really depends on how I’m feeling or where I am, but that 20 minutes is just for me and immediately calms me.

If I can’t immediately stop what I’m doing to take 20, I will put headphones on and listen to calming music. It usually makes the task I’m working on a lot easier.  If I have just a free moment, I will read one of my favorite quotes. There are some I enjoy for their humor, some for their insight, and some for their motivation. Some of my favorites I read over and over:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
-Walt Whitman

“I guess I could be be pretty pissed off about
what happened to me.. but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world.
Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once,
and it’s too much,
my heart fills up like a balloon
thats about to burst..
And then I remember to relax,
and stop trying to hold on to it,
and then it flows through me like rain
and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..”
-American Beauty

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart.
I am.
I am.
I am.
-Sylvia Plath

Sometimes just reading them brings a calmness to my anxious brain.

Dealing with my anxiety has never been easy, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I appreciate the motivation that can come with stress, but I understand how important it is for my well-being to take care of myself mentally.

{Photo Credit: Slazebni}

When I got home to my apartment last night, I couldn’t open the gate to the parking area. It runs on electricity and the power was out. I parked on the street. Once I stepped out of my car and turned off its lights, I realized the entire city was dark. The entire city. It was 7pm, and I couldn’t see a thing. No street lights and no windows lit up. No candles. No other passing cars. Dark. Dark. Dark.

A man was walking toward me, and I could only make out his shape when he was a few feet in front of me.
I felt like I was in some stupid zombie movie (yeah, that’s right. I said stupid. I’m sick of zombies.).

I couldn’t see my keys to get into my door. And when I got in, I couldn’t do anything. I could thankfully use my phone as a flashlight, and I was able to light a candle. I had planned to roast some butternut squash, but my oven is electric!

I was seriously thrown for a loop!

I realized how much I rely on electricity. It’s a lot.

I mean, I use my computer over the healthy limit. And when that battery is about to die, I scramble to plug my shit in!

I guess I’m addicted to power (the electric kind, among others).

Whenever I think of things for which I am grateful, electricity never comes up. I’ve thanked cheese and teeth, but electricity I take completely for granted.

It just made me really aware that there are so many things I must be enjoying that aren’t a given for others. Things I do every day that other people will never do.

That candle was my reminder. A reminder that– holy shit– we’ve come a long way. I can’t imagine living before electricity. And also a reminder that– holy shit– we are so lucky.

I drove to the next city to eat, and it was only then that I saw how many signs are lit up. We light up so many unnecessary things! No wonder we’re at a loss when the lights go away.

I was looking forward to getting ready for bed by candlelight and pretending I had been transformed back to the olden days. But the lights were back on when I got home. I admit I was a little disappointed.

Thank you, lights.

[Photo credit : The internet! Darnit. I forgot where.]

I had the pleasure of meeting the gorgeous and badass Jenn Gibson on twitter, and her website, Roots of She, is one of my favorite places on the internet these days. (If you haven´t checked it out, go now – after you read the interview, of course. It´s an inspiring collection of shared stories for and by women, and I think you´ll love it, too)

I think she´s rad, and I was thrilled that she was willing to share a piece of her story with me for the Stratejoy tribe! I´ll let you meet her in her own words:

In 100 words or fewer, who’s Jenn?

I’m a yoga lover and a believer in the power of dreaming big. Kittens and dancing make my heart go pitty-pat. I moved back home over the summer, bought a little house near the beach and love being so close to my family again. I write gratitude lists more often than to-do lists, and my favorite things right now are watching the leaves fall, listening to the wind high up in the trees, drinking hot tea and the quiet time before sunrise.

What motivated you to start Roots of She?

Because a site like this needed to exist. I’m coming to the table with feminist beliefs and a deep-seated need to translate those beliefs into something empowering and welcoming. My intention for this site: to act as a gathering place for women, a place where we can share our stories, no matter what flavor or bent they take. Think of a country porch on a cool summer evening, sitting around in rocking chairs or swings with mugs of tea in your hand – that feeling of home, safety, connection, solidarity. That’s how I hope you feel when you visit.

With Roots of She, you’ve created the opportunity to connect with so many amazing women. What have you learned from the tribe members that’s touched you the most deeply?

Wow, that’s a tough question because these women teach me every time they put fingertips to keyboard. One thing that’s resonating right now is something that Hannah taught me — the power of making my bed each morning. I would never make my bed before, absolutely loathed doing it, viewed it as a waste of time. I took her course The Joy Up over the summer and one segment of it was about making your bed. Something simple, right? So, grumbling and huffing and probably stomping my feet some, I started making my bed. Then I noticed that setting my space to rights each morning was calming, soothing. Relaxing, even, because I knew that when I would go to sleep that night, my bed would be a peaceful place. The sheets would be pulled up, the pillows plumped. There would be no chaos of tangled and jumbled sheets, no blankets left in disarray. It establishes my room as sacred space.

Do you feel like you’re going through/went through a quarterlife crisis? Tell me a little bit about your experience of it.

Oh, if you were here, you’d've just heard such an inelegant and loud snort. Yes, I totally went through a quarterlife crisis, complete with John Mayer soundtrack. I graduated from college when I was 23 and jumped right into working at a newspaper — oh man, journalism just got me so revved up. And then… and then it didn’t anymore. Then I got tired of being told which stories to tell and how to tell them. It just wasn’t working for me, and I angsted all over my friends and family. I had no idea what to do, I felt so small and lost. After a while, I decided that I’d go to grad school and get certified to teach. I loved working with kids and ensuring that they had a strong foundation of knowing that… they were enough, that they could do anything, it was so important to me. One thing led to another and I had to put those dreams on pause. Once in a while I would wonder what life would be like, who I would’ve become, if things had been different, but life is awesome from where I’m standing, I’m happy.

Who/what inspires you?

Who: Danette Relic. Hannah Marcotti. Pixie Campbell. Amanda Oaks. Rachael Maddox. Gwen Bell. Tara Wagner. Jen Lemen.

What: The smallness of every day. Baptiste yoga. Being around people who get so jazzed on life it can’t help but rub off.

Who/what challenges you?

Who: Me. I get in my own way so often, bahaha. Sometimes I get so wound up about things that it feels like I’m literally standing in my own way. When that happens I know I need to take a break and step away from things.

What: Anxiety and depression.

As you know, I’m a girl who loves to travel, so I love other people’s travel stories. What’s your favorite place that you’ve ever visited? Why?

Hee! I love San Diego! I went there a couple of years ago — it was in February, the East Coast had just gotten spanked by two blizzards, and days after that, there I am standing on a pier and people are apologizing to me for it only being 60 degrees. I couldn’t believe it, it was amazing and something I never thought I’d be able to do. Oh wow, the ocean was so big and pretty. It was vast and I looked out and thought it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

Any final words of wisdom for the Stratejoy tribe?

Hmm. Yes, actually. These are the things I wish someone had told me when I was 25 and 23 and 28: Your value and worth exceeds any dollar amount. You can do anything, even if you don’t believe it right now, even if things are hard, your potential is limitless. Be fierce and fearless, trust in yourself and your tribe. And when you get scared, remember to breathe. You can handle anything a breath at a time.

Being asked to choose one fabulous woman in my life to interview is a bit of a challenge, because I am simply blessed to know so many. My final choice was based on my current professional interactions because the women involved are more than just co-workers, but inspirations and teachers.

I probably have learned more from them in the past year than most of my college career, about how to be fierce, in love with my passions, and how to work hard to change the world in different ways.  By day, I am invested in my work at the Zoo, by night, with the Emery Theater. My time and love are devoted to both, so it only made sense to interview a woman from each. They both are different as night and day, yet inspire me, encourage me, and patiently mentor me during this time of my young life.

At the Zoo, Heather M. is my supervisor. I was immediately drawn to the no-nonsense way she managed with a liberal sprinkling of silly and fun throughout everything she does. Her patience with me is ten-fold when I don’t understand something or have trouble with a project. She has brought new, creative life to our corner of Zoo education and watching what she brainstorms next is always enlightening and exciting. I am so thankful to have her to guide me during my days at the Zoo.

Give us a brief snapshot of who you are, what you do for a living, what do you enjoy doing outside of work:
“My title at the Zoo is On-site School Programs Coordinator. I have the best balance of working indoors or outdoors, with people or animals (or both!). I like that I can be creative in my career, but also enjoy the physical sides of working with the animals. Outside of work I enjoy listening to live music, roller skating, and blogging about my amazing cat.”

Tell us about the path you took to get where you are today.
“My path has been pretty darn focused ever since 4^th grade. I went to Oregon State University to pursue a B.S. in Zoology. After two years of failing multiple math and chemistry classes I realized I needed to adjust my degree and switched into Fisheries & Wildlife. I was taking classes on fish, mammals, trees;  it was the best change I ever made. During college I volunteered at a local wildlife rehabilitation center. This was my first real experience working with animals and people in an educational setting, and it opened my eyes to how obviously effective it was at inspiring others about wildlife and conservation.

After college, I  got an internship with the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo in Colorado working with the education department. I led overnight programs, summer camp, toddler classes, pretty much anything educational – I was there. I moved on to work in a residential education program on a barrier island in Georgia. We taught middle school students many different lessons related to science and ecology. The long hours and intense workload had me looking elsewhere after a year (most people only stay for a year in those programs), and I took up a seasonal position with the Vermont Institute of Natural Science. They had just opened a public exhibit featuring rehabilitated birds of prey and I was part of the bird show. Training birds and being on the big stage was such a fun experience, but show life got to be a bit too redundant. Off to Virginia, where I’d found the perfect job: environmental educator at a nature center. This was a mix of all the best parts of what I’d done elsewhere.  I stayed for 3 years then moved on to become the education manager at a small river conservation group. After another 3 years, I was itching to get back to a zoo. And now here I am (whew!)!”

Was there a specific moment that really clarified what you wanted to do with your life? If so, what was it?
“In 4^th grade, we were learning about animals. Playing games and learning about careers. I knew I wanted to be a Zoologist or anything that involved working with animals, but not a vet (I didn’t want to be faced with putting animals down). The rest is history.”

What is your personal motto or mission statement?
“Actions speak louder than words.”

Besides your daily work, what are you passionate about?
“Making sure I have more fun. I feel too responsible and am always trying have more fun because life is too short.”

What helps you get out of bed in the morning on bad days?
“Always having my alarm loud and turned to talk radio so I have to get up and cross the room to turn it off. And hungry cats (they always do silly things to get me out of bed).”

What advice would you give to other women about choosing what to do with their lives?
“Do something that you like. That is the most important thing. If you don’t like it, move to something else. Life is too short to trudge through for a paycheck or because you can’t find something better. There is always something better, but you won’t find it if you aren’t really looking for it.”

The first time I met Tara G., I knew she was someone special. She just exuded a natural confidence and quiet thoughtfulness that made me desire to work with and learn from her. Her passion for her the arts and The Requiem Project are inspiring and challenge me to dig deep to find that same passion for what I love. As inexperienced and young as I am, she placed complete trust in me to help with this massive project which I will never forget.

Give us a snapshot of who you are, what you do for a living, what do you enjoy doing outside of work:
” I am 31, I am from Boston and moved to New York City to attend Tisch School of the Arts. I lived and worked in New York City for over 11 years in the theatre world, and have a Master’s from New York University. I practice yoga. I love to cook.  I have been traveling a lot recently, especially to South America. I just learned to drive.”

Tell us about the path you took to get where you are today.
“Three years ago I was so moved by a project to revitalize a theatre, The Emery Theatre, that I changed my life for it, and moved from New York City (home) to Cincinnati, Ohio. I did not even know where Cincinnati was on a map. I continually ask myself “who moves for a building?” But the building, has given me so much— the generosity of the people and artists here make me want to be find more ways to be kind, to show up, to be generous. I am having conversations here that that are more engaging and inspiring than I have ever had anywhere else.”

Was there a specific moment that really clarified what you wanted to do with your life? If so, what was it?
“No. I had two moments that I realized I wanted to embrace something, and so I became a blonde at 25, and three weeks ago I dyed by hair brown.“

What is your personal motto or mission statement?
“Kindness goes a long way. (which is not to say I am not sarcastic).”

Besides your daily work, what are you passionate about?
“I think women should make it a priority support women’s businesses.”

What helps you get out of bed in the morning on bad days?
“I don’t think its a choice. The more commitments you make to other people the more you have to show up.  Maybe the greatest lesson that I heave learned is that its not about me doing what I want to do, but supporting other people’s loves, work and investments. I have to remind myself ‘it’s not about me’.”

What advice would you give to other women about choosing what to do with their lives?
“Your life changes all the time, and that can be a good thing. Embrace the unexpected because you really don’t have a choice. Anxiety (while it’s my fuel) is really just reversed imagination, so try stuff. Scary is fine.”

Both women are incredible flowers in my life’s garden, and I am incredibly thankful for their presence and support.

{Photo Credit: John Covera}

The first time I saw Kate MacIntosh was at a New England Museum conference in November 2010 when she was presenting a session on the use of contemporary art at historic sites. This past January, I had the chance to meet Kate and pick her brain about the topic when we both went on a field trip for the Boston Emerging Museum Professionals. Her love of museums, art, and educating and engaging visitors is a much needed and awesome contribution to the field, but more importantly, I think she is one of the coolest people I have ever met.

Kate is one of those folks who takes an idea and runs with it. She is a true leader in every sense of the word, taking risks and making her opinions known. I chose to interview her for this post because while her particular focus in career is museums and art, her ideas about life and going after what you want is something that so many people, no matter the field you work in, can take some cues from.

Kate currently works as an independent museum professional, which might be one of the toughest fields in the current state of the economy.  In addition to her work helping historic sites integrate contemporary art into their interpretation, she also works as a teaching assistant at the Harvard Extension School in Cambridge, where she earned her Master’s Degree in 2010.

What makes her awesome at what she does is her passion for art, history, and museums. Kate says, “I love working for smaller museums, because every day is different and requires me to use different skills and abilities, and apply myself in ways I may have never considered or tried.  The ability to wear “multiple hats” keeps me motivated, challenged, and excited about what I am doing. Having been laid off from a past museum position, and knowing others who have been as well, I fear what the field is facing, and where museums may head without attention, intervention, and a reevaluation of their relevancy and futures.”

That passion stems from working in the museum field for the past seven years, as well as her background as an artist herself. Her undergrad thesis work was  “life-sized paper doll outfits exploring different aspects of my personality.  I’ve built on this concept, and recently wove a three-dimensional, wearable, paper dress out of ‘Vogue’ magazine pages, and red, white, and black paper.  The dress was installed on a mannequin in the window of a local gallery, and the installation also included a shopping cart and harajuku-inspired groceries.” She uses fashion magazines and blogs to provide inspiration for her sculptural art creations. Her work as an artist and her museum work allows Kate to cross the divide with contemporary artists and historic sites- she has helped facilitate some really awesome projects ( check out her site here) and I know she will continue to do this on a larger scale as her career grows.

I admire Kate not just because of her take charge attitude and making a name for herself in the museum world at the early stage of her career, but also because she has an awesome spirit.  She says, “Laughing often is key, and definitely brings me great joy.  There are times to be serious, but I really try to focus on a ‘turn that frown upside down’ approach to things.  I have learned to try to surround myself with others who like to have fun, and try to make time to be with those friends, family, and colleagues on a regular basis. Breaking out into song and dance also helps.  Whether this is something I do with others (usually to my own embarrassment) or by myself (while singing in the car), it helps shake off the serious of life and clear the way for whatever is next.”

A die hard Bruins fan, Kate’s perfect day is “ waking up (not too early), coffee and a fashion magazine or book, working on a sculptural dress or installation elements for a few hours, and heading to a hockey game; can we add not having to wake up too early the next day?  More like a perfect 24+ hours!” She also has great taste in music, which is her cure for those blah gross days. Kate says, “Playing really, really loud music in the car and singing (even if it means making up the lyrics because I don’t know the real ones) while driving helps on blue days.  It is nice to let it all go, and nothing helps more than a song like “I’m Just a Girl” by No Doubt or “Date with the Night” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.”

I asked Kate what her advice to a bright eyed 22 year old just out of college would be. She said,

“Put yourself first in all decisions, and take risks when there is more to gain than lose.  Putting yourself first in all decisions (something I was not very good at, and am still working on now) will help you to never say in the future, “what if.”  Taking risks is crucial, as it will help you discover the real you. Too scared of risks?  I use the pro/con list method; if there is more to gain from taking the risk than to lose, jump in.  If you find there are more cons, maybe it is not the right risk to get you where you want to be.”

Seriously something I’m going to consider more for sure!

The rest of 2011 is filled with a lot of excitement for Kate. Last year she started a bucket list that she is slowly knocking items off, while at the same time adding new challenges as she grows and learns. A big goal on her list is to visit a museum or historic site in every state in the country (something her and I share). She’s pushing ahead towards her dream goal of working as a curator at MoMA in NYC by doing consulting for museums and some writing projects for blogs.

Kate is not only is she amazing at what she does, she is the kind of fun girl you want to have around. One of the best times in the past few months I have had was a week in May when we both were at the national museum conference in Houston. She also has one of the best wardrobes ever!

This is why I admire Kate: she has an idea, a passion, and she is pursuing it to the fullest ability she can in order to live her most joyful and authentic voice. And if that’s not rock star status, I don’t know what is.

[Photo Credit: From Kate's Facebook, photo by Leslie!]