Category: Job/Career/Work

A Rainbow of Opportunities, or a Spinning Beach Ball of Death?

posted 17th April 2012    Written by: Caitlin    CATEGORY: Caiti, Creativity, Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 6

We’ve all had those times where we’re bouncing between the dozens of tabs that are open in our internet browser– videos are loading, links are being clicked, Twitter feeds are being refreshed. Then something shiny and new distracts us and we try to pop open another tab only to cause a minor technological meltdown resulting in that annoying error message, “Firefox has quit unexpectedly.”

I imagine if you popped open my head and took a look at my brain, you’d see a similar system of frenetic wire-firing (and mis-firing) while trying (and failing) to head in 75 different directions at the same time. Look deep into my eyes in these moments, and I’m 99% sure you’d see the Spinning Beach Ball of Death in place of my pupils.

But this isn’t just a reflection on modern technology or the frenetic pace of social media. The fact is, a side effect of the self-discovery process I’ve partaken in during my QLC is that I’m uncovering and re-discovering more interests, passions and desires than I have the mental capacity to handle.

I currently dabble enthusiastically in photography, graphic design, blogging, writing, crochet, art journaling, health and wellness, yoga, and cooking/foodie-ism. Quite often, this list also includes personal development, environmental issues, and creative entrepreneurship. When I’m not 3,600 miles away from home, I add baking, interior design, working out (sometimes), and mixed media artwork to the mix. I even have a mental to-do list of interests and topics I’d like to explore in the future. (See: web design, quilting, running, storytelling/creative non-fiction, creating and editing personal videos, vegetable gardening, and learning Spanish.)

Basically, I am Pinterest, come to life.

On one hand, this is awesome, because I’ve actually forgotten what it’s like to be bored. Psssht, there’s no time for boredom. I really love that I’m a multi-faceted and passionate explorer. I’ve learned that not everyone works this way. Some women I know are enviably committed to one topic/study/profession. Lots of others are quite content with a mix of 9-5 work, a significant other, and maybe a hobby on the side. That’s perfect and wonderful, so long as they are happy. On occasion, that’s all I need to be happy. But in the bigger picture, I know my own core values of Creativity and Learning lead me down a path where I’m constantly immersed in the cycle of learn something new, create something, and repeat.

On the other hand, we’ve all heard the phrase “Jack of all trades, master of none.” Yep, that phrase makes me anxious. As does, “Live your passion, and the rest will follow.” Because what if “passion” isn’t singular for you? Am I supposed to pick only one? How am I supposed to do THAT?

A while ago, I took an e-course program in which the coach asked the question, “How are you using overwhelm to live small?” At the time, it didn’t quite click with me what that meant. But now I’m starting to put the pieces together.

I immediately think of my Analysis Paralysis that led me to take the same kind of job that was previously making me unhappy because I was overwhelmed with the details and effort involved in doing something different. (Sounds like “living small” to me.)

I see it in the way I bounce between projects when whatever I’m working on gets too difficult. Last week, I was trying to learn a new Photoshop trick for editing photos and it was just not happening. Instead of pushing through when it got hard, I switched over to drafting three posts for my blog (simultaneously) and reading a book about health– things I like to do, sure, but not opportunities for growth. And, now that I think about it, I never did go back to figuring out that Photoshop technique. (Yep, that’s “living small” too, and potentially a mild case of ADD.)

Living small is especially evident in my tendency to research everything I’m currently interested in. I like to be sufficiently prepared and knowledgeable before I embark on a new endeavor– but “sufficiently prepared” usually turns into a never-ending process. I read about a topic, scour the internet, watch tutorials. I’ll spend hours looking at what professional designers, photographers, and creative entrepreneurs are doing, past the point of inspiration and into the land of envy. At the end of the day, I may have a little more knowledge, but I’m not doing anything with it.

Considering these examples, it’s pretty clear that I’m using my multitude of interests– and the accompanying feeling of overwhelm at my options– as a security blanket. By trying to hold onto them all, especially with a beginner’s mindset, I don’t have to risk putting myself out there in any one area, and don’t have to face the possibility of failure or losing money or time.

In an effort to employ “Ignite” as my word of the year and to have a better grasp on my personal and career direction by the end of my Ireland trip, I’m thinking about how I can balance my multiple interests in a healthy, productive way that doesn’t lead to the Spinning Beach Ball of Death or “Caiti has quit unexpectedly” error messages over my head.

Is there a way to focus and follow through on multiple projects or interests? Or is a single, focused obsession a prerequisite for success?

{Image via Amelia-Jane}

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You Are Not Your Khakis

posted 11th April 2012    Written by: Jill    CATEGORY: All Posts, Jill, Job/Career/Work, Life Lesson, Money, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 6

Consider my virginity gone.

We’re talking job virginity here.  I got my first big kid job in August, and just a week ago, I quit.

And to answer your question – yes, my first time hurt like a bitch.

My job was one of the big triggers of my QLC.  At first, I was so unbelievably thrilled to be working in a branch office of a big-name publication.  I was so excited, in fact, that I forgot to listen to what the job would actually entail.

I heard: fancy title.  I heard: paycheck (without worrying about tips!).  I heard: magazine.

I should have heard: no room for growth.  I should have heard: the crickets (often, I was literally the only person in the office).  I should have heard: sales (cringe).

Reality was the cop barging into my house party of a dream.

I spent the first month at this job trying to convince myself that everything was perfect, while simultaneously counting down the minutes until 5:00.  When the best part of my day was popping a pimple without looking in a mirror, or getting away with a really nasty fart, it clicked that this wasn’t the soul mate of a job I had hoped it would be.  Thus began the search for Job #2.

When I was looking for jobs for which I was “qualified,” or a job that “made sense,” I was left looking at a future that came already equipped with a six-pack of panic attacks.  I hadn’t even submitted an application!

I felt like a pair of sneakers that voluntarily jumped in the dryer without actually thinking of what was about to happen, and without knowing when it would turn off.  In the meantime, I was stuck rolling around in this dryer of an office, trying to get my grip on anything.

There were a hundred things I knew I didn’t want, but I couldn’t put my finger on what I did want.

What I didn’t want was to work somewhere business-y.  I didn’t want to sit down all day.  I didn’t want to be by myself all day.  I didn’t want to be unengaged.

Then, I had a mini-revelation. There were a whole bunch of “don’t wants” that I could turn into “wants.”  I want to be active, to be around people, to learn something.  Essentially, I wanted to do something completely different.

I needed a job that was going to pay my bills, but not haunt my dreams.  Waking up in the morning to my thoughts preaching, “Ugh, I hate my job; I don’t want to go to work today; um, I think I’m sick…,” was decidedly not the way I wanted my days to start.  With that in mind, I turned down a couple of jobs for no other reason than, “it doesn’t feel right,” and kept looking for a job that fit.

Eventually, one found me.  I half-heartedly popped into a mass interview at a preschool, not expecting much out of a cattle call.  Eventually, I got a call for a second interview, then another, and another.  Finally, they offered me a job as a teacher’s aide.

EXCITEMENT! CARTWHEELS!  BUBBLES!

There are tons of people at a preschool!  Little ones, big ones, Jill-sized ones!  It will be challenging, and engaging.  Each day, there will be a hundred things to do, to learn, to clean up.  And there’s snack time, guys, snack time!  

Now, I’d be pretty foolish to think that this job would be the answer to all my problems (I already know that Zac Efron is the answer to all my problems). This job is the exact opposite of my sales job, in a good way.  It has a good chunk of my “wants,” and steers clear of my “don’t wants.”  It’s something new to try; even if it doesn’t turn out to be my end-all, be-all dream job.  But, if I actually *gasp* like it?!  That would be the dream right there.

So, here’s to optimism and surprises, and a much-needed new adventure!

 

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Let Me Fly With My Beaded-Paper Wings

posted 6th April 2012    Written by: Camila    CATEGORY: All Posts, Camila, Creativity, Inspiration, Job/Career/Work, Season 6, Travel, Travel/Adventure

Multicolored telephone wire woven into baskets, 18-inch eagles crafted from recycled newspaper,  old steel drums cut and shaped into beautiful mermaids. I adore how simple materials, odds and ends that some people deem garbage can  be morphed into beautiful forms of art.

When I was living in Hartford, CT as an AmeriCorps member I was certainly lacking in what most people deem necessities. I didn’t have a real bed, nor a table or chair, but I did have books, and I did have art. I had small masks from Santo Domingo by my windows, paintings and giant collages created by my half-blind grandfather decorating my walls, and a tiled-metal-work mirror from Mexico adorning my “night table”.

Thinking about it, both of my parents place a high value on art. They took my siblings and me to museums in nearly every place we went, bought paintings from local artists, and we always had a plethora of sketchbooks, colored pencils, paint, beads, and other craft supplies to entertain our minds’ latest creative endeavor. There is so much I appreciate about this. Without a doubt it’s a value that I would like to pass on to Geoffrey’s and my future children and it is unquestionably part of why I want to go to graduate school to study…folk art. That’s right, I want to go on in school to get a PhD for doing research on 1) the use of recycled materials in folk art and 2) the way women’s art cooperatives create financial opportunities and may help prevent issues of violence against women.

Deep breath. Yep. Oh folk art how you make me swoon.

Last May, I went to visit my amazing, go-getter of a friend who was working at a health clinic in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. I knew I would be spending some time with her but I also knew I had to visit some artisans in Haiti. Since I was still an AmeriCorps member and knew I’d have a while  before returning to school I figured I might as well get a head start and conduct some independent research while there and see if this was indeed what I wanted to dedicate several years of my life to doing.

That solidified it.

One afternoon, my friend and I journeyed to Croix-de-Bouquets, a neighborhood in Port-au-Prince of metal-workers. Walking through the dusty streets, men worked outside pounding out steel to shape into gorgeous wall-pieces. As we walked by, artisans beckoned us to enter their homes, to see what they had created. I was in love and perfectly content having my eyes scan the walls looking at tree-of-life after tree-of-life, roosters, elephants, people carrying baskets of fruit, profiles of women with hair spiraling out into the wind. Gasp, this was exactly what I wanted to do! What was preventing me from choosing this as a career path, especially when it was something that I loved?

Another day I rode with my new friend on his moto-taxi to visit a women’s cooperative that created flip-flops, wallets, and bags from old chip bags and the woven plastic from bags of oranges. That was an interesting visit as most of what I learned, do to my inability to speak Kreyol, came through hand motions and observation.

A third trip out into the city took me to The Apparent Project, a compound where men and women rolled strips of boxes and paper into spherical beads to thread into gorgeous jewelry.

The innovation of ideas birthing art, the impact of art cooperatives on an individual’s or a family’s financial sustainability, the way that something can be created from nothing- all of these fascinate me and are precisely the reasons that of all the graduate programs I could choose, this is what I need to study.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was researching schools in Portland, Oregon where my fiance and I are moving after our wedding. For a long time, I didn’t know if I should look into sociology, anthropology, or women’s studies. They’ve all been programs I’ve been considering but I never knew exactly which one I should pick.  I mean, each one has it’s pros and cons. Then I found it. An hour away in Eugene, if I apply, and I’m accepted, I can go for a Masters and a Doctorate in Folk Lore. What could be more perfect then that?!? Then of course there’s the question of what countries would I want to focus on? What questions would I want to ask? How could I go back to school and also be a doula/midwife? And of course, there’s the question that keeps popping up and I keep pushing aside… the question of what would I do next? Would I become a professor? Would I start or work for an NGO? I don’t even know. Perhaps that’s just another question for another time.

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The Highs and Lows of Shaping My Own Career

posted 2nd April 2012    Written by: Arielle    CATEGORY: All Posts, Arielle, Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 6

The white expanse of a blank Word document sat in front of me. The cursor blinked, unmoving, taunting me with its stillness. Blink blink. There were, quite literally, no words.

A few weeks ago, I was put in touch with the executive director of a non-profit via a colleague of a friend of my dad’s (Networking: not just bogus lip service from your college career counselor!). I went to his office and we had a really great discussion about where I’ve been, where the organization is going, and a possible marriage between the two.

I assumed that the director had only agreed to meet with me as a favor to the person who had referred me, so naturally I was surprised when he said:

“I think the best way to proceed from here is for you to write up a job description of what you’d like to do. When you’re done, send it to me and we’ll go from there.”

This brought me to the blank Word document and the dreaded blinking cursor.

(Coming to a theater near you, the newest Hollywood suspense-thriller – The Blank Word Document and the Dreaded Blinking Cursor)

I tried to write down some bullet points.

Report on –

Blink blink.

Manage process for -

Blink.

Liaise with -

BLINK BLINK BLINK.

All I had were those résumé-friendly action words. This paltry excuse for a job description had the potential for a whole lot of doing, if only I knew what I actually wanted to do.

Yet the god damned cursor kept blinking at me. On off on off on off.

“STOP IT!” I wanted to yell. “Don’t you know, you blinking asshole, that I just started this quarterlife crisis blogging thing and I just wrote a post about how I don’t know how to articulate what I want to do with my career yet here you are expecting me to articulate what I want to with my career? VODKA. NOW.”

Blink blink.

I eventually calmed down and knew I had to get something substantive down on the page. So I thought more about our conversation. I thought about what the organization does and how I might contribute. I thought about job responsibilities that I would excel at, as well as ones that I knew I couldn’t even do yet but that I wanted to grow into.

And just like that, I created my dream job. It might be a dream job limited to one employer, but it was something. It hadn’t been easy, but it hadn’t been that hard either.

I sent it off, and got a pretty quick reply that the director was impressed with what I wrote but wanted to revise it a bit before setting up another in-person meeting.

For the first time in my 2 years of job-hunting (because even from day 1 at my last job, I was always looking to leave), I felt like I was on the cusp on something wonderful.

No more working for companies that I didn’t connect with.

No more time spent doing mindless tasks that I’m pretty sure did not add value to anyone or anything.

No more feeling like I was underqualified for everything, or being rejected because “you’re great but we just want someone with 7 to 10 years of experience.”

For the first time in years, someone saw me as the capable, intelligent, driven person that deep down I always knew I was, but that I had lost sight of during the disheartening process of having my résumé passed over several hundred times (since March 2010 I have applied to 693 jobs).

Finally, after several weeks of waiting, I received another email from the director. He was still revising my job description and would get back to me by Monday to discuss next steps.

BOOYAH!

And then I noticed something weird: the subject of the email.

“Internship”

I’m sorry…what? Where did that come from?

This one word brought everything to a halt. My chest tightened, and I felt that pit in my stomach that you get when you’re hugely and suddenly disappointed.

I know an internship isn’t the end of the world, and I don’t even know any of the details yet. But I do know, with this being a non-profit, that I would be foolish to expect there to be any money. That’s really what kills me. Unpaid internships are wonderful if you’re in college, but at this stage in my life I’m just not down with working for free.

Money may not be everything, but without it, it’s sometimes hard to have anything. And it’s really hard to make your student loan payments.

Seeing as all I have to go on is this one-word subject of an email, I may have jumped the gun as far as going into full-blown panic mode (okay, I definitely did, I know I’m being irrational but I can’t help it). I’m just…bummed.

I know the important pieces of the puzzle are still there: this organization still wants me. They still see my potential to provide value. I still got to tell an employer what I wanted to do for them instead of vice versa, which, FYI, is different than it was with the other 692 jobs. I guess I just thought that last piece, the piece where I get a biweekly paycheck, would have fit in too.

But I’m not just sitting around while I wait for the details of this internship. I’m going to keep sending out resumes, keep networking. There’s still a job out there for me, and I need to be prepared in case this isn’t it.

Time to open up a fresh Word document and compose another cover letter.

Blink blink.

 

Photo credit: madame furie

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When Things Don’t Go The Way You Thought, Make a New Way

posted 1st April 2012    Written by: Sarah    CATEGORY: Family, Job/Career/Work, Love/Relationships, Quarterlife Crisis, Sarah

 

Some days I do well.

I take care of the house.  Put away all the laundry.  Plan dinner.  Keep Kate happy.  Take time to blog.  Write.  Think about me and my path.

And some days I don’t do well.

I’m fed up with motherhood by 10:00 a.m.  Don’t go to the grocery or plan a dinner for several nights in a row.  I can’t keep up with the house, my wood floors speckled with goldfish cracker crumbs, crayon wrappers, sippy cups.  There’s no time for me.  No thinking space.  No self-care.  No writing, socializing, centering.

Those days are my dark days.  When I enter the what-am-I-doing and I’m-a-terrible-mother-wife-dog owner-person spiral.

But I know I can do better.  It’s just going to require a lot of putting myself out there, a good deal of faith in the process, and a whole lot of self love.

I’m taking small steps here and there to get back to the Sarah I knew before marriage and motherhood and grown up responsibilities that came on fast and furious.

I thought back to what I love to do, pre-everything.

Write.

Share.

Teach.

And how I could put all those parts together into something that was workable for me as a mother, me as a wife, and me, as, well, me.

So I started putting a little plan into motion that got me back to my writing roots.  In January I started pitching publications with story ideas.  I started taking my writing craft seriously.  Got deeper into blogging.  Went to my first blogging conference.

I also want to work on this part of me that longs to connect, share with others.  Motherhood, while a lot of things, is a lonely enterprise.  So I thought about what else I loved, and realized it was right in front of me.  I’ve been taking group fitness classes for years.  But I never thought about actually teaching group fitness.  When the thought first crept into my mind, I thought, no way, no way could I get up in front of a group of people and lead a class.

But then I thought, why not me?  So without giving myself time to think too hard, I signed up for a step aerobics training, spent a weekend stepping my heart out, and received the highest score possible, advancing myself onto the next round in the process.

All these things are wins.  The writing.  The conferences.  The training.  The tiny plan I had that snowballed into more than I thought I could ever acheive at this phase in my life.

But even when I feel I’m making strides, that crisis feeling pervades my thoughts.

Is this path finally the right path?

How will I know?

I think I am figuring things out…but am I really?

What if things don’t work out?

What if all this is a big mistake?

What if I fail?

What if, what if, what if?

Even though I’ve created a plan and set the wheels in motion to get back to my identity and myself, I still feel cautious, timid about where I’m headed.  I’m not completely confident in myself and what I need to do.  And I struggle to even share and rejoice in what I’ve accomplished so far.  I barely manged to squeak out this post because I hesitate to put my big goals and acheivements out there for fear I’ll end up on my face the next day.

But then I thought, hey, isn’t that why I’m here, at Stratejoy?  To share and learn and be supported through this quarterlife crisis?  So I can share all those good things I’m working on and get support when I’m feeling stuck and low on confidence.

Over the next five months, I’ll share those good things and those not-so-good things.  How I’m managing to take care of myself admist motherhood and marriage.  My progress on my writing goals.  And my process of becoming a group fitness instructor.  But above all, I hope to find that confidence I lost when all my major life transitions landed me in unfamiliar and often uncomfortable territory.

I’m really into fresh starts.  And I believe we can all have a fresh start anytime we want it.  So I’m declaring a fresh start.  And I hope you’ll join me.

 

 

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