Category: Molly

The ABC’s of Self-Love: X is for eXcited

posted 21st February 2012    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Love/Relationships, Molly, Stratejoy the Biz

Hi lovely blog crawlers!

I was hoping to share a really juicy “X is for Xrated**” post with you yesterday but it didn’t happen due to forces beyond my control…  Don’t you love when life just gets in the way?!

I’m still hoping it might go live one day in the future and surprise us all, but in the meantime, I’ve commandeered X.

Here’s hoping this lost letter completes your Treasure Hunt.

I’ll cross my fingers in the drawing for you!

X is for eXcited for many, many reasons today:

Especially…

The Fierce Love Course is going LIVE tomorrow -

Wednesday the 22nd – at 9 am PST.

(cue magical dance parties and star beams and loads of fierce love invading the world.  I hope you’re ready for some deep work on falling in love with yourself, cupcake!)

And also…

And why is eXcited such an important part of self-love in the first place?  Let me share with you Rule #8 of the 12 Rules of Inner Confidence.

Let Things Light You Up.

As adults, we tend to shy on the side of underwhelm. It’s not cool to be excited about the Sting concert or new neighbors or the fact that your grocery store is finally carrying sesame butter. It’s not hip to dance around in celebration of your new client. People might laugh at us if we throw confetti and pop champagne because we’re tickled pink about launching our Fierce Love Course, knowing how many women it’s going to help…

Instead, we bottle our emotions or only share complaints because it’s so much more acceptable to be critical or sarcastic or blasé.  That’s how the “cool chicks” function after all…

Allowing yourself to go gaga for a new recipe, an amazing line in your novel, a new crush, or your brand new website feeds your childlike soul. Showing enthusiasm towards anything is a gift to you — a way to guarantee that you won’t fall into a too-cool-for-school slump of apathy.

Let things light you up! Share your passion! Proclaim your excitement! When you get thrilled about the little things in life, you’re reminding yourself that your delight is important.

And any reminder that YOU are important fuels your self-love and inner confidence.

What are you excited about today?

[photo via.]

***UPDATE. X is for X-Rated went live! (You can use either post for the Treasure Hunt!)

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[This Blog Crawl of Self-Love is hosted by Molly Mahar of Stratejoy (that's me!). She believes in the transformational power of truly adoring ourselves (I do!).  Find out more about The ABC’s of Self Love Blog Crawl + Treasure Hunt here.]

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The ABC’s of Self-Love: A is for Acceptance

posted 9th February 2012    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Life Lesson, Love/Relationships, Molly

[This is the very first post in The ABC's of Self-Love Blog Crawl + Treasure Hunt!  Find out more about what's happening and how YOU can win a FREE Fierce Love Course on February 21st.]

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“What if the question is not why am I so infrequently the person I really want to be, but why do I so infrequently want to be the person I really am?” -Oriah Mountain Dreamer

The very base of my self-love, of my willingness to adore myself, starts with acceptance.  It starts with truly being, loving, and accepting the person I really am.

It’s a work in progress, of course.

Some days I don’t want to accept my struggles as I interact with the world — those times when I’m caught up in busyness at the neglect of self-care, when I fail to follow through on commitments, when I lose patience with my husband.  Some days I’d like to ignore my personal weaknesses — my need for privacy, the fine line I toe between emotional IQ and manipulation, my dramatic sensitivity — and only show you the toned down shades of my shadow self.  Some days I fight wildly against the present — the hardships, the unknowns, the quest for freedom.

But can we practice self-love without accepting who we are? 

The simple answer is no.  Our self-love would be built on false ideals of who we’d like to be in the future, of who we imagine we might be if the world didn’t know our secrets.  We would dole out our self-love if only we made more money, lost more weight, made a bigger difference.

We would move forward in life trying to win our own approval with affirmations, awards, achievements.

Without acceptance, it wouldn’t be fierce self-love.  We’d be licking the whipped cream off the top and thinking we were tasting the entire key lime pie.

Navigating the balance between healthy striving to become the best version of myself and loving myself exactly as I am isn’t easy.

It’s fucking hard sometimes.

But I want to be the person I really am.   And that desire starts with acceptance.

Luckily, accepting who I am is more than embracing my (gorgeous, quirky, messy) imperfections. It’s also about celebrating my strengths, admiring my awesome, appreciating my honor.

I can adore my infectious smile, my work ethic, my overflowing affectation, my laser sharp memory for others’ stories and situations.  I can accept my shining glimpses of glory — having a breakthrough conversation, summiting a new mountain, simply getting to the magical inbox zero. I can be grateful for my desire to make a difference and my belief that people are good. I can revel in the present — the richness of love and support, the gifts of a growing family, the health of my body.

Acceptance isn’t handing the reigns of your live over to fate, but relishing the present moment. 

“When we put down ideas of what life should be like, we are free to wholeheartedly say yes to our life as it is.” -Tara Brach

Acceptance is both a call to respect the entire range of emotions we experience and a reminder that we are all doing the best we can in the moment.   We can open our eyes to the present, without worrying so much about the past and without so much anxiety about the future.

It doesn’t mean that we can’t grow, change, bloom or reinvent. Acceptance, as requisite for self-love, is a call for compassion, not an excuse for apathy.  Embracing of our whole self allows us to unfurl and feed our true desires from a steady base of honesty, clarity and self-love.

Self-love needs acceptance to put down roots. 

When we embrace the fullness of who we are — quirks, gifts, idiosyncrasies, strengths and all — we give ourselves permission to relax into our own lives.   A state of fierce, radical love for ourselves cannot be built with a pick and choose mentality.  We cannot celebrate pieces of our lives, while denying others.  There’s no eating the marshmallows and leaving the charms swimming in the milky bowl.

I think the question should be “In how many ways can I be myself?” 

And the answer?  The good, the bad, the pretty, and the ugly…

I can accept responsibility for my actions. I can accept that I am still discovering how to be the truest version of me in a world of pressure and hunger and strife.  I can accept that I’m whip-smart and ambitious. I can accept my desire to be validated.  I can accept the cellulite on my thighs, our undecorated bedroom, the sorry of collection of bras that actually fit right now, the state of my garage, and the fact that I’m incredibly behind on emails.  I can accept my amazing book collection, my loyalty, my craving for adrenaline, my strong beliefs in equality, and my love for my unborn son.

The answer I’m working up to?

I accept my life and myself, without shame, guilt or doubt, but with an open heart and joyful celebration.

All in the name of self-love, baby.

In how many ways can YOU be yourself?

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[This Blog Crawl of Self-Love is hosted by Molly Mahar of Stratejoy (that's me!). She believes in the transformational power of truly adoring ourselves (I do!).  Find out more about The ABC’s of Self Love Blog Crawl + Treasure Hunt here.]

 

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Some Lovely Things to Shift Your Perspective

posted 17th January 2012    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Events, Inspiration, Molly

As most of you know, I keep my list of favorite courses, resources, and books on the Store page — but sometimes I can’t keep up with the lovely things being produced by my colleagues.  And by colleagues I mean amazing women I know personally, who are truly living life on their own terms and helping others shift or grow in some way…

Transform.  Play Bigger.  Cultivate Gifts.  See the World through Fresh Lenses.  Make Huge Decisions.  Celebrate Joy.

If you’ve been looking for some inspiration in the form of a course or retreat (or are just looking for some new beauties to follow online!) please wander through this round up of things I’m digging right now.

Playing Big with Tara Sophia Mohr

I had the honor to teach with Tara Sophia in Seattle at our Brilliant Women Salon last April.  She is wise, tiny sparkplug of inspiration: uber-smart, truly kind, and grounded in a way that I can only admire from afar as I buzz around, flapping my hands as I speak too quickly and laugh too frequently.  Her own Playing Big journey has been amazing to watch — from launching a major program last year (this one!) , to writing for the Huff Post, to some major TV appearances to spread her message — she has truly  walks her talk and has major skills and knowledge to share.

In Tara’s words…

What is Playing Big?

Your playing big isn’t defined on the world’s terms. It isn’t necessarily owning an empire or making millions. You know what playing big means for you. It’s following that inspiration that is in your heart. Seeing it through. It is getting out there – visible – like the women you so admire. It is your voice, your vision, your unique contribution flowing forth, no longer shrunken down, stopped up inside you, or compromised.

Here’s the good news: if you have been playing small, it’s okay. Most of us don’t play big naturally, on our own, without any support. We need tools, support, training – a process – to help us play bigger.

The six-month Playing Big journey gives women the inner foundation and the practical skills that they need to play bigger. We could call it a “program” or a “course” but it’s a revolution. It’s a movement. Women playing big is going to change the world.

And guess what?  We’re hosting a FREE WEBINAR this Thursday night!  It will be 45-60 minute video conversation about how we “Play Big” in our own lives, full of inspiration, big truths and laughter, I’m sure.

All you need to do? Join us at 6 pm PST/ 7 pm MST/ 8 pm CST/ 9 pm EST this Thursday the 19th! 

 

The Photo Essay Project with Bindu Wiles

This just started yesterday, but it’s definitely not to late to join in!  I’m taking it and really looking forward to having a chance to express myself creativity that has nothing to do with my business!  Let it be noted that I’m also a bit nervous — what if I don’t have time to shoot everyday (although since it’s done on iPhones, I don’t really have any excuses…), what if everyone else is totally awesome and I suck, what if [insert fear that's yet to be identified]?

But I’ve had the chance to meet Bindu a few different times and have been reading her blog for quite awhile and this is definitely not that type of course.  No real need for nerves or comparison.

Bindu is a gentle spirit who’s been through a lot, and still truly believes in the goodness of humankind.  My kind of woman!  She’s also quirky (see her penchant for bow ties) and an amazing street photographer, armed with nothing up her iPhone and some sweet apps.   I’m truly excited to learn from her during this Photo Essay Project.

In her words…

What amazes me time and time again is the endless range of emotion that can be held in a face

and how much I see my own feelings on someone else’s face, and how my heart extends to that person.

The practice of iPhone photography has increased my sensitivity and my ability to see deeper into the world all around me and be deeply moved by it, and therefore, able to transcend my own pain and suffering.

In this 5-week online course, I will be teaching a black and white portrait class in the tradition of the street photography period that was roughly between 1890 and 1975.

The iPhone and the incredible photo processing apps that are available, are bringing a resurgence to the street photography of yesteryear and which is now referred to as mobile photography.

 

The Well-Fed Woman Retreatshops with Rachel W Cole

I love Rachel Cole.  Last spring she was my lighthouse in some stormy waters — serving beautifully as my personal coach when all I knew was that I was feeling “off”.  I told her I felt disconnected from what I really loved and wanted to jam on creativity, spirituality, and sexuality.  Um… Talk about some broad topics!

I adored getting on the phone with her every week and even more, I loved meeting her in Portland for a lovely dinner at the Ace Hotel.  She’s a breath of fresh air, a courageous soul, and one of my personal heroines for her ruthless (yet gorgeous) commitment to asking and answering for herself and her clients, “What are you truly hungry for?”

And this is the best part.  She’s traveling around the country leading Well-Fed Woman Mini Retreatshops for lucky women in Petaluma, Berkely, Fort Collins, New York, Providence, Northampton, Alexandria, San Francisco,  Seattle, Portland, Chicago, Minneapolis and Los Angeles.  If you live in one of these cities, you need to get your booty into a Retreatshop.  I know it make a difference in your world.

In her words…

Who are the retreatshops for?

Women who want to say yes to themselves instead of no.
Women who sense that they have more greatness to birth.
Women who desire to know and trust their own hungers.
Women who want to trust their desires.
Women who crave the courage to step more deeply into their lives.
Women who want to explore their relationship to themselves.
Women who know the power of women sitting with other women.

You’ll meet all types of women — young and old, dread-locked and bow-tied, at war and at peace with food, religious and agnostic. There is no one type of woman for whom this experience is designed. If you want to know and feed your truest hungers, at and away from the table, The Retreatshop is for you. Each session will bring together just 15 women.

For me, the word hunger has several meanings. In general, however, food hungers are simply doorways into the disconnection so many women have with their deeper hungers in life – in their careers, relationships, creativity, self-care, and spirituality.

We will explore food-related hungers, and how understanding them can help us understand the broader hungers we each experience. You’ll gain important insights into your personal hungers from The Retreatshop whether you are at war or at peace with food.

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Those are the woman making me sparkle right now!  What have you seen online that you’re digging?  I’d love to hear your recommendations, sugar pop.  See you Thursday for the Webinar I hope!

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Stratejoy Essay Contest

posted 11th January 2012    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Katie, Molly, Stratejoy the Biz

So You Think You Can Write…

We’re very excited to announce a juicy opportunity for YOU not only to have your writing featured on the Stratejoy blog for the whole interwebs to see, but also to win some serious moola!  We’re talking $500, baby!

What would you do with $500? Decorate a room? Pay your rent? Donate it to charity? Take a class? Buy a smashing little black dress and flaunt it in a hot photo session? Here’s your chance to win some extra dough with a side of Stratejoy bragging rights…

Introducing: The 1st Annual Stratejoy Essay Contest!

We get to hear from 10-20 women each year on the Quarter Life Crisis blog (which we freakin’ love), but we want to hear from more of you. We see the heartfelt and loving comments you leave on the blog posts, the Facebook Wall and on Twitter. We know you have more to say, and we want to hear it!

If you’re spreading the word about this Contest, please use the hashtag #essaycontest and mention @stratejoy. Thank you darling!

Got questions? Let’s try to cover ‘em all.

**How do I enter the Stratejoy Essay Contest?**

We’re going to try and make this as simple as possible – we’ve even got your writer’s block covered.  The topic for the essay contest is:

“How do you live life on your own terms?”

Answer that question (in essay form) and send it in to katie (at) stratejoy (dot) com.

That’s it. You’re entered!  And yes, all entries need to address that question in some way, shape, or form.

**Is there a word limit?**

Try and keep your entry at 1,000 words or less.

**How do I know if you received my entry?**

Katie will shoot you a quick response letting you know she got your entry.

**I’m a Stratejoy affiliate / current QLC blogger / QLC blogger alumni /current client of Molly’s/ past client of Molly’s . Am I eligible to enter the essay contest?**

Yes. Yes. and Yes. This is open to any and all women of our tribe.

**What type of format should I send my entry in?**

Please send your essay contest entry in a Word Document. Please don’t send a PDF or any other non-editable format. We want to be sure we can copy and paste your text! Also, please use a readable font (like Times New Roman, Arial, etc.) While we love your creativity, sometimes hot pink/curliques/hidden picture essays are a little rough on our eyes.

**Can I include Pictures, Links, and Vidoes?**

Short answer?  No.  For this contest, we’re really looking for writing content — please concentrate all your love on the written words.  If you are chosen as a finalist, we’ll contact you for a short bio (where you can link it up baby!) as well as a picture for your post.

**Can I submit something that has been published somewhere else?**

Sorry gorgeous!  We are looking for original essays, created specifically for Stratejoy and for this contest.  If you’re not selected as a finalist, you’re welcome to publish your entry anywhere you like!  If you are a finalist, we ask that you allow the contest to reach it’s conclusion (when we announce the winner and hand over the cash!) before you republish your essay on your own site or blog.

**When is the deadline for entry?**

All eligible entries must be received by Wednesday, January 25th, 2011 at 11:30 PM PST. Any entries received after that will not be considered.

**How will the finalists/winner be chosen?**

After all of the entries are submitted by January 25th, 20 finalists will be chosen by the Stratejoy Team (Molly, Katie, and Nicole) based on a number of criteria — knocking our socks off, amazing stories, soul stirring truths, crystal clear writing, motivational mojo, and  adherence to all rules of submission.

Each of those finalists’ essays will be featured (one per day) through the month of February and we’ll be spreading the word far and wide.  We want to show off our talented Tribe!  At the end of February, we’ll open the public voting for one week and one week only. The grand-prize-money-maker $500 winner will be chosen by the intrawebs based on highest number of votes, not by our Team.

**How will the voting happen?**

On February 29th, we’ll post the link to the voting ballot for all of the essays. Then, you can have your friends, family, co-workers and everyone head on over and vote for you! Each person can only vote once! So spread the word! Of course, you’ll also get tons of love from the Stratejoy Tribe who will be casting their votes for the best essay. Also, voting will only be open for 3 days! After we tally the votes, BOOM, we’ll announce the big winner and everyone will throw streamers and sparkles all over. Sound good?

**If I’m a finalist, how do I get people to vote for my essay?**

Blog about it.  Tweet about it.  Shout it from the rooftops. We’ll give the specific details on HOW to vote once all of the finalists’ posts have been featured.  Feel free to start rallying your troops early. More Love = More Votes!

**When will the winner be announced and what will they win?**

The winner of the Essay Contest will be announced on or around March 2nd, 2012. (Or as soon as we tally those votes!) You’ll not only win some serious bragging rights and congrats from us via Social Media Land, but you’ll also be the sole recipient of the $500 Grand Prize!  And Molly will probably call you to squeal in excitement…

Any additional questions? Shoot Katie an e-mail and she’ll gladly answer them for you. (katie (at) stratejoy (dot) com).

Remember, the deadline for entry is January 25th (2 weeks!).

Molly Mahar is the founder of Stratejoy, a positive corner of the Internet that provides thousands of women the tools, strategies and camaraderie to lead authentically joyful lives. She is a full-time coach, facilitator and creator of the online Joy Equation Course , Joy Juice Prompts, and Create Your Magical Year Kit.  A dynamic speaker, Molly has lead workshops for lululemon, The US Army, Ladies who Launch, The Junior League, and CRAVE Business.  She helps women live life on their own terms, celebrate their worth, and change the world through individual fulfillment.  With enthusiasm! And action!  Molly adores any excuse to travel, belt 80′s tunes, drink red wine, and discuss the meaning of life. Oh, and she was just named to ProBlogger’s Top 20 Bloggers to Watch in 2012 and will be speaking at SXSW Interactive Conference this March. Wahoo!

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The Council: Holiday Edition

posted 15th November 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Molly, Stratejoy the Biz, Tips & Tools

Last spring I got to know 40+ of you through a little party we called The Council*.  Guess what?  It’s back, even better than last time!

I’m not going to put out a huge pitch about the Council or spend a lot of time trying to sell you on this, because it’s not that kind of thing.  If it’s for you – amazing!  I can’t wait to get to know some of you on a more personal level- to interact with you on more day-to-day basis for 21 solid, rockin’ days while we wrap up 2011 and starting dreaming and scheming for 2012.

*And yes, if you did The Council in the spring, you can totally do this one!  Brand new material and even some new surprises!

The Stratejoy Council

council: An group of persons called together for consultation, deliberation, or discussion.

Yes! Our Council will be addressing the juiciest issues that come up during the end of the year and the Holidays in an inspiring and useful way.  It will be a safe place for learning, sharing, and growing. With typical Stratejoy moxie, energy, and honesty of course!

What does The Council include?

**Three 60 minute Training Teleseminars on Tuesdays at 5:30 PST, 6:30 MST, 7:30 CST, 8:30 EST. The calls will be recorded for those of you who can’t make the live calls & still want to be involved.

**Follow-up Challenges & Exercises To Be Completed During our Time Apart. No more than 2 hours a week of challenges, ’cause we’re all busy women.  I’m even making art filled worksheets for you to  savor 2011, set intentions for 2012, and really plot out the kind of year you’re craving.

**A Secret Facebook Community where the Council can gather to report on the challenges, share roadblocks, and celebrate success together. This is a really fun part of our weeks together! It’s where we’ll connect with each other on a personal basis and offer support, laughter, and stories of our own experiences.  The Group Page will go live on November 28th and end on December 19th.  And yes, I will be ACTIVELY involved in the page.  (And the even bigger question: Yes, this means we’ll get to be Facebook Friends and you can stalk all my old wedding, backpacking, drinking night out pictures.  Don’t judge me, okay?!)

**Loads of Love to your Inbox.  You’ll get an email on each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday during the council with some visual inspiration and a 30 minute audio recording interview with a Gutsy Girl about how she approaches goal setting/resolutions/manifesting/big dreaming.   9 sweet emails + 6 motivating interviews to keep your energy up, provide some accountability, and help you stay grounded during the pre-Holiday craze.

Who will I be interviewing?   Jenny Blake.  Nicole Antoinette.  Kate Northrup.  Kyla Roma.  Chelsea of Chelsea Talks Smack. Alexandra Franzen.  Ev’Yan.  And then that’s just me in dark sunglasses filling a empty spot in the collage.  I’m the one doing the interviewing…

REGISTRATION

REGISTRATION IS CLOSED FOR THIS ROUND OF THE COUNCIL. That said, keep your eyes peeled for a New Years Package to get your hands on the recordings & worksheets!

Investment: Because this Council is going to require a significant amount of my time, I can’t offer it for free.  I thought about it, but it just wouldn’t make sense! But I can offer it at the most affordable option possible as a huge THANK YOU for being part of the Tribe.

It’s $49 for everything.  I hope that price makes you happy!! I truly hope it’s something you want to do for YOU and for an ushering in an amazing 2012.

When you sign up for your course, you’ll get an receipt from PayPal telling you that you’re all set.  I’ll be sending out the welcome email with instructions for the calls and more details on Monday the 28th. In the meantime — after you register, friend me on Facebook so I can invite you to the secret group!  If you need anything before the 28th, just reach out sugar.

Let me know you’re joining us — Ping me on Twitter and use the hashtag #joycouncil!  We can meet each other there while we wait for the 28th to arrive.

QUESTIONS?  Comment away!

XOXO

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