Category: Andrea

The Geography of Happiness- Part 2

posted 25th November 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1, Travel, Travel/Adventure

world mapIn my last post I talked about an amazing book I read while traveling on my Eastern Europe Adventure called, The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World.

I wanted to share some insight and ideas from the book about happiness and the search for the Good Life.

Seemed very appropriate for those of us living through a Quarter Life Crisis, since travel and moving are re-occurring themes.

Excerpts from The Geography of Bliss: One Grump’s Search for the Happiest Places in the World

  1. “We create our own happiness and the first step in creating is imagining.”
  2. People who live in Iceland have the right mentality, in that no matter how bleak life seems, things will always work out. I like that theory.
  3. Some cultures are collectivist, while some (like America) are individualistic. Collectivist are happier than individualists cultures. Go figure.
  4. “Happiness and unhappiness are not opposite sides of the coin. They are two different coins.” Think about that the next time you are unhappy.
  5. Happiness is a choice.
  6. “Helping others makes us feel good.”  As humans we are programed to help others, it makes us happy. So maybe if you are unhappy, try helping someone in need.
  7. “People are not likely to be happy if they don’t have control over their lives.”
  8. I think this line was written specifically for me, ” Happy people have no reason to think; they live rather than question living.” Thinking about happiness makes us LESS happy.
  9. “Add up all the pleasurable aspects of your life, then subtract the unpleasant ones. The result is your overall happiness.”
  10. “The worlds happiest nations tend to be the most ethnically homogeneous.”
  11. Americans hate unpredictability, while some cultures thrive off it and are happy because of it.
  12. Love is higher than happiness.
  13. Ambition may sabotage happiness. If you constantly are striving to reach some extraordinary level of happiness, you will strive your entire life.
  14. “America’s current fixation with finding happiness coincides with an era of unprecedented material prosperity.”
  15. We as Americans are less happy than we were 50 years ago. Which is ironic because compared to many countries we have access to different things that could make us happy, where most cultures do not.
  16. Some Americans move because they think it will make them happier, however, people give themselves permission to be different in different geographic regions so moving may not necessarily be the answer.
  17. “We may be fairly happy now but there’s always tomorrow and the prospect of a happier place. We can’t love a place or a person though if we have one foot out the door.”

*Spoiler Alert: If you plan on reading this book DO NOT read the next paragraph!!

In the Epilogue of the book, Weiner summarizes and says: “Money matters, but less than we think and not in the way we think. Family is important. So are friends. Envy is toxic. So is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude.”

I want to know what is your happiest geographic place and why? Are you there right now? Why or why not? What do you think about geography, travel and happiness?

Andrea (new) bio.

photo credit : pearlsofjannah

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Happiness Is Not Geographic

posted 18th November 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1, Travel, Travel/Adventure

BlissbookPrior to my Eastern Europe Adventure, I stopped in to Borders to find a couple books to take with me on my two week excursion. Isn’t it always so hard to find the perfect travel book?

I kept getting frustrated because almost every book I picked up was about the cliche young wife, with 2.5 children and the new home who suddenly woke up one day and decided she didn’t like her mundane suburban life anymore.

Not exactly the type of reading material I was looking for. I wanted self- discovery, adventure or something empowering.

I wandered over to the travel section and I think fate brought me to this interesting book, “The Geography Of Bliss- One Grump’s Search for the Happinest Places in the World.” It was perfect! I thought to myself, “Who isn’t searching for ultimate happiness these days? Isn’t that part of why I’m going on this adventure? To see if I could be happier in another geographic location?”

At some point or another in our lives we are all involved in la chasse au bonheur, the hunt for happiness as the French say. Have you ever wondered “What exactly  is the Good Life?” I purchased the book using my Reward Member coupon and waited until I was on my trans-Atlantic plane to begin the journey through 10 different countries with author Eric Weiner, former NPR journalist on his quest to find location-based bliss.

Weiner strategically consults the World Database of Happiness, (this is a real thing!) complied by Dutch professor Ruut Veenhoven, located in the Netherlands to determine which countries he should visit for his study. As I journeyed through Eastern Europe, I followed along Weiner throughout his travels to The Netherlands, Switzerland, Bhutan, Qatar, Iceland, Moldova, Thailand, Great Britain, India and America.

Ever since I read the Alchemist over a year ago, I now have this habit of writing in books and underlying phrases. Here are some phrases and ideas that caught my eye:

  1. “Happiness is not inside of us, but out there.”
  2. “Most people in the world report they are happy.” – but are they really?
  3. “Envy is the great enemy of happiness.” – According to the Swiss
  4. Its a genetic disposition of humans to find peace in nature. This is called the biophilia hypothesis by E.O. Wilson
  5. There is a serious relationship between trust and happiness.
  6. “The Swiss consumer mass amounts of chocolate, and there is some credible evidence that chocolate makes us happier.”
  7. I actually learned this in college and was reminded in the book that in modern languages we have far more words to describe negative emotion than positive. Think about that.
  8. “In America, few people are happy but everyone talks about happiness constantly.”
  9. “All happiness is relational.”
  10. Unfortunately, money does buy happiness for some people, but only up to a point.
  11. We may not need as much as we think we do, in order to genuinely be happy.
  12. Even though travel is good for the soul, “Humans, even nomadic ones, need a sense of home. Home holds a sense of community and even more important, a history.”
  13. “70 percent of our happiness stems from our relationships,” meaning one of our greatest sources of happiness is other people.
  14. I thought it interesting that spirituality is linked to happiness, but, it may not the belief in God that makes humans happy simply a belief in something, anything.
  15. People who are too busy are happier than those who are not busy enough AND materialistic people are less happy than people who are not. Basically, if you have lots of “things” but don’t participate in any activity you are probably one of the most unhappy humans on the planet.

These were just a few phrases that made me stop and think. Do any of them call to you?  Which do you agree or disagree with it?

I’m going to share a few others from the second half of the book next week so be sure to check back to learn more about the search for bliss.

Andrea (new) bio.

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Do One Thing That Scares You

posted 11th November 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1, Travel

Europe AdventureA few months ago, I was having a bummer of a day when I randomly decided to stop at the travel agency located on the college campus where I work. At the spur of the moment, I put a down payment on a 12-day tour through Eastern Europe.

Crazy and spontaneous, I know. But, trust me I needed it!

Why Eastern Europe, the Cold countries, during the cold month of October? Well, I’ve been to “regular” Europe and 2 years ago I explored a handful of cities in China. I wasn’t looking for a tropical paradise… I wanted adventure… Eastern Europe it was. Plus, Poland was one of the countries highlighted on the trip and given my ancestoral background, Poland had made it on to my list of 30 Things To Do Before I’m 30.

Taking this trip was honestly one of the most gutsy things I have done in the past few years of my life.

I booked the trip without consulting anyone’s advice (a major feat if you really stop to think about it), I didn’t know a single thing about any of the places I’d be staying, and I didn’t know a single person going on this tour. All I knew was I would be with 19 to 30-year-olds from all over the world for 12 days, through 6 countries, visiting 9 cities.

Sitting at the Dulles airport that afternoon before my takeoff, I can only describe my mood as terrified. However, this was something in the back of my mind I knew I could do… but it was still a huge personal challenge to see how I would manage with all of the ‘unknowns.’

My biggest fears were really silly:

I’ve been back almost a week now and guess what? I survived! Not only did I survive, but I think I thrived.

It was honestly one of the best random decisions of my life. My mother reminded me that my spontaneous decisions are always my best ones. Somehow, I tend to forget this, but she’s so right! I came full circle from almost crying because I was scared to go on this trip, to almost crying because I didn’t want to come home.

Funny how life works out like that, isn’t it?

I ended up meeting the best people on my trip.  It was so enlightening to meet 2o new people from around the world because now I have places to visit and new friends to call on! My roommate did not think I was weird (well she may have,) but we still got on great and ran around Eastern Europe exploring new cities, eating delicious food and sampling some of the finest beers.

Did we get lost? Sure we did! Almost everyday and it wasn’t scary at all, it was fun! It was all part of living, learning and facing scary places and new people.

So, I challenge you as readers and fellow ladies living through a Quarter Life Crisis, to do one thing that scares you over the next few months. Maybe even make a decision all by yourself, without consulting friends or family. Challenge yourself and you may come out learning more about yourself and the world around you than you ever thought possible.

Andrea (new) bio.

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Love Is Not An Episode of Sex And The City

posted 4th November 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Love/Relationships, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

Texan Sky

“Love happens under a Texan sky.”

I have said those three little words to 2 boys in my life and actually meant it. One was my high school sweetheart, the other was my ex BF who I dated for 2 years and became such a solid part of my life that my 80-year-old grandmother still asks about him.

I think a lot about my current situation and found this quote the other day that totally relates:

“Everyone has a “one” before The One. You know… that one you THINK you’re going to end up with… but really they are just practice.”

It’s so true in my case.

Daniel and I had a very shaky beginning and we are just getting to the point where things are solid.

Ironically, we went to the same high school, but didn’t know each other because he is older (I do love those older men!) We ended up meeting later in life, in graduate school. Our entire almost year relationship has been long distance, since day one, so it’s not your typical girl-meets-boy-and-falls-in-love scenario with the happily-ever-after. He lives in a different time-zone!

I’m lucky if we get to see each other once a month and that’s only because my boss is great and lets me jump on planes when I ask.

Because of my ex BF, it took me a long time to admit that I cared about Daniel and an even longer time for me to admit to myself, my friends and family that he was my boyfriend. Those three little words came in time, when I was ready to admit to myself that he mattered much more than any boy had ever mattered to me before.

I couldn’t even refer to him as my boyfriend for the LONGEST time, he was simply the Texas Boy, my Lover and finally graduated to his current status of Boyfriend- capitol letter “B.”

He and I have something really special, something that I don’t really talk to my friends about or my mom even. I try really hard to not be “that girl” who just talks about her boyfriend all the time. We both view this relationship as the most “real” experience we’ve ever had and I don’t need to validate that to other people.

I do love him and it’s a different kind of love than any of my previous experiences. It feels comfortable, relaxed and just right. When I’m with him its as if all the chaos in my mind melts away and I really enjoy life for what it is. He makes me feel real, like the most genuine version of me… and that’s something I have been searching for.

So, this post is my attempt at owning up to my relationship and getting things out in the open. For me and for him. Yes, it’s real, yes, I love him and yes, I want to be with him…. for a long, long, time if you get my drift.

Life is just better when we are around each other.  As it stands, that isn’t very often, but someday when the time is right I’ll finally have a relationship that doesn’t require airplanes. For right now, this totally unrealistic situation with the most unrealistic person you’d ever pair me with is my reality… and I love it.

Since the beginning, our relationship has not been like anything out of a tv show, movie or book. It’s taken me a long time to realize that there is no manual and no directions for a relationship.

When you follow your heart and just live life, that’s when the best things happen.

Andrea (new) bio.

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For Richer Or For Poorer?

posted 28th October 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Money, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

money on treesYou know the saying, “Money makes the world go round?” Sometimes I wish it wasn’t true.

Lately, I have had this fear that I will be poor for rest of my life. Why does money have to matter so much?

I didn’t exactly come from a rich or a poor family, but as an individual I am seriously terrible with personal finances. I’ve worked since I was 16 years old and have always had my own money, but I just can’t seem to wrap my hands around sustaining a budget. I’m not in serious credit card debt, but I don’t have this huge savings account either.

Having a lot of money sitting around has never been a priority to me.

There have been many friends and family who have attempted to show me how they manage things…. but it never works. I am still living pretty much paycheck to paycheck and I’m 25  years old. It’s sad and upsets me. Just this past week I started my 401K… I’ve been working for 3 years now (so embarrassing!)

It may have something to do with the fact that some of the best jobs in the world pay crap and the worst ones pay tons! All of the things I have done with my career, or want to do, aren’t exactly six-figure salary gigs. Sometimes when I play the “What my Life COULD have been if I…..” game, I think about if I would have taken a different job that paid better, or stayed with my ex boyfriend, who was on the fast track to the top of the corporate ladder, or maybe thought twice about traveling so much.

Money is the cause for so much stress in individual life, its no wonder its the leading cause for divorce among couples and fighting among friends and family.

Why can’t money just grow on trees? Wouldn’t that solve everything?

Everyday I check Twitter and Craigslist and Facebooks for potential jobs in writing, blogging or even internships in social media. (If you know of any send them my way please!) With the holidays coming up and taking my Eastern Europe Adventure I am going to be more broke I have ever been in my entire life.

It’s not a good feeling. Not when I see other people my age buying houses or new cars or starting a family.

I couldn’t do any of those things, even if I wanted to because I’d never be able to afford them.

I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I may not have grown up “things” to show for myself, but I do have a lot of experiences, adventure and subsequently amazing stories and memories.

Aren’t those worth just as much as say, a house?

Andrea (new) bio.

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