Remember Andrea from our Season 1 Bloggers? It’s been two years since she was in the blogger spotlight and she’s back to check in and update us on what (and where! and who!) the last two years have brought her. 

I’m going to be totally honest here, it’s so crazy to think its been two years since I met Molly and was introduced to the world of Stratejoy. As part of the Season 1 Stratejoy bloggers I’ve had the opportunity to listen and watch as three more groups of amazing ladies grow and change right before my eyes. Some have new homes, new jobs, new directions, new lovers and even new babies!

As for me? Well, its been two years and while some things have changed, others have remained the same. I left off closing one  door and waiting for another one to open. Part of me is still the same Andrea I was in 2009 and part of me is still trying to figure it all out. But you know what? I’m ok with that. Life is full of changes and I’ve learned to embrace those as they come.

Today, I’m sitting here writing this update from Austin, Texas. Gone are the nights I spent gallivanting around Washington, DC and jet-setting across the country for my job. Yes, I really did move to a totally different environment where people walk slower, talk funny and enjoy the sunshine. What I do know is that that coming here was one of the best decisions I could have made and it’s only getting better. Living in DC was perfect for that chapter of my life and now Austin is the best place I could possibly be for this chapter.

In May of this year I became an entrepreneur. I still work full-time (damn you, student loans!) and also teach as an adjunct of PR and Digital Marketing, but somehow managed to find time to launch a business on the side. I hope to find the courage to take the jump and pursue my business full time in 2012. I’m about 80% sure I’m going to go for it. Ok maybe more like 90%.

My business, BrandKit, guides college students and recent grads toward discovering their inner spark. I work with young professionals as a mentor and show them ways to stand out from the competition with branded resumes and portfolios.If you’re interested, I’m looking for guest bloggers too!

I love living in one of the greatest startup capitals of the world and I’m now a full-fledged member of the Gen Y Entrepreneurs Club. Running my own business is challenging, but exhilarating at the same time and there nothing else I would rather be doing with my life right now. My tech, geekiness is really shining through now!

I also took up yoga this year, started riding my little blue bike everywhere and shop at thrift stores for vintage home decor when I have the time. I look forward to home-made breakfast tacos, sunsets over the lake and meeting some of the most innovative, adventurous minds out there at random Austin happy hours.

On one hand, life looks and feels totally different. On the other, my brain and perception of life are still very much the same. I often find myself thinking “Is this really as good as it gets?” or ” Where will I go next?” (which will most likely be Europe if I have my way and can convince The One to move across the pond) And, I don’t consider myself a grown-up yet, because I still struggle with finances and have fears about pursuing my passion.

Through the past two years I’ve worked really hard at calming my brain and coping with life as it comes. I can proudly say I handle situations much better than I used to and don’t feel like I’m moving a million miles an hour. The South, The One (Yes can freely admit now I moved to Austin to be with him and yes we do live together!), some inspiring female entrepreneurs I look up to and a bit of therapy have helped get me to where I am today. I still believe that Happiness is not geographic, and that it’s the people you’re surrounded by, not where you are. 

It’s important that I also say thank you to all of the people I’ve met or crossed paths with over these last two years. I’m grateful to have met a whole crew of amazing people, most of which were because of Molly and Stratejoy. Many times when I meet someone for the first time in person, I feel as if we are already friends.

Some of these ladies are now part of my inner circle and I know we will remain close for a very long time to come. We help keep each other motivated and sane. I see now that in life you really do need others to help get you to where you are supposed to be. We aren’t meant to do it all alone.

If your find yourself heading south, please reach out to me! My home in Austin is your home and there are plenty of cute cafes and shops I can take you to if you come through town for a visit.

There are big things in store for the future, deep down I can feel it. I not sure exactly what will happen tomorrow or later this year, but the possibility is what keeps me going.

Pax et Bonum

When Molly first asked me to write for Stratejoy, I had just started to live my life.

And by living, I mean recognizing what I could do at the time without a job, without much direction and finally, without any excuses.

My one-year anniversary is coming up from when I was “let go”.  I’m not quite sure what it was about that event that physically shook me awake from my stupor of complacency.  Regardless, I’m supremely grateful that I was awake enough to take that chance, a chance that most people don’t receive or perhaps recognize if offered, and to run with it.

Not only did I run with it, I chose to make an Olympic event of it for the coming months and for 2010. By writing these past six months, I was able to look at myself introspectively and objectively in order to guide my journey.

I chose one main goal back in 2009: Happiness.

I had never been happy in my early adulthood and always remained thinking that I either never really understood what it meant or perhaps that I didn’t deserve it.  Achieving this goal and maintaining the search has been arduous.

I’ve been up, I’ve been down, and I’ve even been sidetracked or derailed a few times, but I’ve never given up.  You see, I now know what it is to be happy and I can’t-WON’T-give it up without a fight.

I have to thank Molly and the other bloggers; I never really knew what a Quarterlife Crisis was until I was thick in the shit of it, and reading about others’ experiences with it was a type of godsend. It’s about control for me and I had lost it at the very beginning of my crisis.

I found it again after examining, really examining who I am, what I am, and how I’m living my life.

Molly is such a great example of someone who faced that fear of the unknown, but knew her vision and went for it.  This is someone who helped shaped my past six months, and for this I will be eternally grateful.  She deserves every good thing in this world and I can’t wait to see her reap the benefits and rewards for her efforts in following her dreams and passions.

I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next six months.

What I do know is that I am a stronger, more confidant and happier person compared to that girl who existed last year.  I’ve learned to expect the unexpected, control what you can, and live life as much as possible with friends, passion, food and music. And I’ve learned it’s okay to go through crap.  We will all have to deal with the negative and the worst of the lot, but it’s how you bounce back, how you live every day because you have to, and how you treat others.

I’m not quite sure what’s going to happen now, but I do know I am the happiest I have ever been in my life.  And with this, the happiness I feel and radiate, I can do anything and achieve everything. I’ve never thought or believed that before.  But I do now.  It’s a hell of feeling I tell you.

I am excited.

I’ll end this post with some of aptly appropriate lyrics from local and personal favs The Thermals:

This is my world, it’s my own
The only thing I’ve ever known
This is my world, it’s all mine
My direction, my design
I alone know the code
It’s in my head, it’s in my hold
All this beauty that you see
Starts right here, it comes from me

This is my world.

Marisa

[Marisa. I'm sending you such a big virtual hug right now!!  You were the only blogger I knew personally before this adventure began, and it's been so amazing watching you grow, explore and really fight for your happiness.  Talk about inner transformation!  You've found your voice.  You've realized your incredible potential.  You've still got the best bangs in Portland...   Simply put, the whole world is before you.  And guess what?  You're diving in.  You're making it count.  Thank you for sharing your journey.  Don't be a stranger.  Love,  Molly]

photo credit : tuppus

“Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
–Robert Frost

Writing for Stratejoy has been one of the best learning experiences of my life. Deep down I am a writer, it’s what I’ve always done…The past 6 months have helped me become an even better writer. This journey has helped me to find my inner voice, which for a writer, is sometimes difficult to do.

Stratejoy has helped me live a better life.

It has truly helped me to focus, sort out things in my head and most of all, find direction. Looking back, I have come to accept that life changes at a rapid pace. Things are so different now then they were six months ago and honestly, that is great!

Before, I would have developed massive anxiety about change and now, I welcome it…. I almost look forward to it. Change is all about one door closing and another presenting itself- be it an obvious door, a hidden door or some type of masked camouflage door. It all depends on how you look at it.

The biggest lesson I have learned through my Joy Plan and writing for Stratejoy, is to be true to yourself. No one can tell you what to do and no one else, but yourself, can make decisions. At the end of the day your life is really up to you.

I’ll be the first to admit though, this can be a huge struggle. I am still struggling with the concept, each and everyday, but it’s a good struggle. It’s a learning process, a Quarterlife Crisis process.

Everyday I remind myself that this is my life.

Think about that idea and for the next few days I invite you to listen to yourself. Take some time to really reflect, you are the only person who knows YOU best. We all have ups and downs, decisions to make, paths to choose. Go with your heart and don’t think about anyone else. The doors are open for you and you only.

As for me, when the next door or path presents itself, I know I’ll be ready. For now though, I’m still here listening, writing, reflecting and waiting.

I’m doing my best to live life for me.

On a final note, I did want to say thank you to everyone at Stratejoy, especially Molly, for inviting me to be part of such a wonderful group of gutsy girls. This is my last post for Stratejoy for now. I am so sad to know I won’t have the opportunity to write at least once a week about my chaotic, fun, crazy life! (No, that is not even a joke!)

I will be writing random updates here and there though, so no worries, I’m not gone forever. I may even make my own personal blog live!

I’d like to welcome and and wish a very good friend of mine, Kelly, good luck as part of Season 2 Stratejoy Bloggers. You will all love her, I am sure. We come from the same hometown and have very recently become friends… actually as a result of both of our Quarterlife Crisis adventures.

Check back to read about her QLC. She’s quite daring and has a special someone in Texas… just like me!

These past 6 months have been an adventure and it was amazing to share, especially with all of you.

Pax et Bonun
(Peace & Goodness)

Andrea

[Andrea, I loved having you as part of the team.  Your wit, you sparkle, your zest for life...  All obvious, all inspiring.  You've got a lot of big changes ahead of you and it was incredible to be part of the journey as you started to "figure things out for yourself".  Believe me when I say this- YOU have made a difference in our lives! Thank You.  Love, Molly]

photo credit : aunto

Six months ago when I first started writing for Stratejoy I thought that by now I’d have a great job, be living in a great apartment, surrounded by amazing people – i.e my life before I moved back to New York.

That reality hasn’t happened.

I’m still unemployed, chilling with the parents an uncomfortable commute away from my friends. I still feel as though my life is a mass of unconnected dots and like I’m having a hard time finding a pen never mind figuring out the pattern I’m supposed to discern from the mass of dots which I swear move when I’m not looking.

It feels a bit like trying to pin the tail on the bucking bronco.

I am, I keep reminding myself, exactly where I need to be. The six months that I’ve spent writing for Stratejoy (and doing my own Joy Plan) have really forced me to take a good hard look at myself and at how I relate to the world. I’ve done a lifetime worth of soul searching and have managed to cultivate a level of patience the Dalai Lamai himself would envy. Sometimes, like right now, I even find myself being taken over by a deep sense of peace.

And, while a life unexamined is not a life worth living, there is such a thing as too much introspection. You can get caught up in your own head, and doing that introspection on a public platform can I think feed the crazies. As the wise Miley Cyrus (yeah I said wise) put it, can get easy to stop living for moments and start living for people.

While sharing my life and my thoughts the past few months have been really helpful in terms of finding my center and my own sense of peace (as well as helping me recognize that I’m not alone), I feel as though I’m at a place where I need to back off a little bit.

Much as a caterpillar enters a chrysalis to emerge a beautiful butterfly, I feel I need a break from publicly examining my own life, to enter into my own cocoon so that I can find my own inner butterfly.

It is, I think, impossible to truly transform while people are watching.

So thank you reader for being a part in my journey, for reading, for commiserating and I hope for laughing a little. It’s been a joy and an honor and I wish you best on your own journey.

In my heart of hearts I am a SciFi/Fantasy dork so I think closing with this quote from J.R.R. Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings would be fitting:

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

With much peace and love,

[Kendra.  It's hard for me to sit here and not be moved by your "outer struggle" right now.  The part that allows me to make peace with it?  I know you've been undergoing some incredible inner growth.  The clarity and beauty of your posts have given all of us an incredible glimpse into your challenges, as well as your celebrations.  Believe me when I say this--that mass of dots?  Soon enough it will connect itself into a beautiful picture.  A stunning representation of your right life.  I believe it in my heart of hearts.  Thank you for sharing such an intimate slice of your reality.  It's been an inspiration and a source of many discussions in my world.  Love, Molly]

photo credit: Vicki’s Nature

It’s hard to believe that this is my last blog.

I have been blogging for Stratejoy for six months now, and the time has flown by despite tons of changes.

Writing a weekly blog has really helped me put things into perspective. I started writing for Molly at a time when I was completely unhappy with my work situation.  I was bored, lost, unchallenged, and confused about what I should do to fix things.

After much encouragement from friends and family and after plenty of long brainstorming and researching sessions, I decided I could do it—I could leave my crappy corporate job and figure out a plan for myself later.

Sure, I have made gutsy moves like this before.  I’m no stranger to dropping everything in order to travel or try something new, but this was probably one of the more gutsy moves I have ever made. Not only was I dropping a steady job in the middle of an economic downturn, but also dropping my only source of income despite being a new homeowner and having no immediate plan of action once I walked out of my office doors.

I can honestly say it was the best decision I have ever made.

There were definitely times when I questioned whether I had done the right thing or made the smartest choice, but I managed to make ends meet.  I picked up freelance work and odd jobs while attempting to piece together my next move.  I took time to travel and explore and find new inspirations in a different part of the world.

I definitely dealt with my fair share of raised eyebrows and perplexed looks, but I never let those things lead me to question my decisions or myself.

I tried to keep in mind that my ultimate goal was to find happiness in the moment and hope and inspiration for the future.  I truly believe that there are millions of ways to reach that ultimate point of happiness and satisfaction, and I think I have learned that it’s very different for each person.

I am definitely on the right path, but I still have plenty of things to figure out.  Most importantly though, I am positive that I have figured out the right attitude needed to be happy with life—even with all the ups and downs, and that’s my biggest accomplishment yet. I’m sure the rest will fall into place as long as I continue on with that attitude.

At the current moment, I am considering going back to school.  I have a couple meetings set up this week in order to learn more about some programs I am interested in.  Not sure what will come of it or what direction I may end up going, but I’m confident I will know what’s right for me…

The hard part is just finding it!

In the meantime, I did something crazy.  I booked a 2-week trip to San Juan, Puerto Rico.  I leave in a week.  It’s a 26th birthday present to myself.  I just can’t get enough sunshine…

[Robyn-- It's been an amazing journey and I thank you for sharing your trials and tribulations with us over the last 6 months.  You've made some big changes and taken some gutsy moves to carve out a path that is authentic and joyful.  So proud!  So inspired!  So on your side!  I just wanted to take a quick moment to say Thank You.  From all of us, Thank You.  And best of luck as you dive into your next journey!  Keep us in the loop...  Love,  Molly]

photo-credit:  m-c

Do you remember that time in your early pre-teens where you were told to make a decision of either participating in Orchestra or Band? I remember it well. I was torn between wanting to be in the field while frantically banging on drums while my parents wanted to hear me play the violin indoors with symphonies and classical themes.

The Parental influence won in the end.

And during those painful/awkward years as a pre-teen and teen, I ended playing the violin for almost 6 years. I enjoyed it more than I thought I would at that age, but still… That nagging push I had inside of me told me I was meant to play the drums. And I’ve finally listened to it, almost 14 years later.

I thought it appropriate to write about music for this entry as the time passes with these last couple of QLC entries. I have a lot of things coming up that I’m involved with locally and even nationally so I feel the need to purge with words.

I never thought I would be this heavily involved within a scene and it’s not necessarily negative or bad persay, it’s just sometimes it gets overwhelming.

There’s a female drumming event this week put on by a NYC magazine and I was lucky enough to be involved with partaking in the planning and benefit; it’s a great direction for this city since I personally don’t think enough attention is paid to female musicians. I’m still taking weekly lessons, still on the pursuit of a drum kit and still wanting to make music. In fact, during my lunch breaks, I’ve been writing beats (simple beats, yes) but nonetheless, it’s music.

Who what have thunk it? Me, Marisa, writing some music and pairing it with my friend Anna’s music.

I’m determined to make it ALL work. There’s something frightening and yet exciting about following the path you want. I made that promise to myself last April, and as I’m quickly coming upon that anniversary-I’m proud of what I’ve accomplished.

Not only has life been busy with drumming, but being involved with an indie music label has been a wonderous and ridiculous experience in itself. I was able to finally see some of the fruits of my labor when one of the Bay area signed groups was featured in Filter Magazine as the first “Undiscovered” discovered band of 2010 for Filter.

And, (I’m trying to contain the exclamation marks), but KEXP has contacted us  about some exciting things that I can’t yet confirm, but it’s exciting!!!!!!

So what’s the lesson here as I wind down with all of my thoughts?

I’ve learned in the past nine months that once you find your niche, your passion or your interest, don’t let it go. Don’t ever let it go; you can let it wean a bit, maybe put it on the back burner if need be, but don’t let it go.

You never know what’s around the corner. This may be really corny of me to say (it’s totally true BTW) but with positivity, determination and heart, you can make it work.

photo credit : dennis_vu

Looking back, I feel like I have been about 20 different versions of myself over the past 7 years. It’s hard to know whether or not I will become another 20 different version in the coming 7 years….

I hope not.

I would like to think that maybe, just maybe, I’m starting to figure out this thing called life and have less anxiety and fear. Someday, I hope to wake up and say “I’m not living a Quarter Life Crisis anymore!”

Um, that day is not going to be tomorrow or the next day, but, it’s a goal nonetheless.

I’ve learned a lot in the past 7 years, hell I have learned a lot about myself in the past 6 months! It’s made much of my past clear and gives me hope for the future.

If I had kept a journal of all the things I learned, I would be able to tell 18-year-old girls some of those amazing life lessons. I think though, that part of living 18-25 is making mistakes and learning from them on your own.

That’s why its called LIFE- right? Your time to learn through living and being.

However, if I were to look back on my 18-year-old self, I would give the following personal advice:

• Don’t worry about numbers. Grades and income and money don’t matter as much as society makes you think it does.
• Keep your close friends close to you. Get rid of the useless ones, they will only cause you more stress.
• Boys will come and go, but family will always be there.
• Stop keeping so much crap. You will move a lot and its annoying to have so much “stuff.”
• Don’t be afraid of the future. You can NOT control everything and that’s OK.
• Write everyday.
• Say “I Love You” and really  mean it.
• When you get stuck at a crossroads and don’t know what to do, help someone in need.
• Remember to talk to your grandmothers more. They are especially wise.
• Don’t be so afraid of the unknown. Change can be a good thing.
• Be true to yourself, not the person you think everyone else thinks you should or could be.
• Spend more time with your sisters. You will miss them when they get their own lives.
• Who cares about social norms? You don’t have to do what every else is doing.
• Save money and stop buying useless things and gifts for people. Make memories instead.
• You are very lucky to have an unbroken family. Try to remember this when they get on your nerves.
• Embrace your faults. It will only make you stronger once you admit you are NOT always right.
• Get rid of the attitude. You are no better than anyone else. Confidence is cool but cockiness is not.
• Learn how to listen.
• Be patient.
• SLOW DOWN

What would you write to your 18-year-old self?  What valuable lessons have you learned over the past 5 or so years of your life that you wish you could go back and tell yourself?

P.S.- My best friend I look exactly the same today and for that we are super proud!!

A friend sent me a link the other day to a book that a college classmate is having published this spring. My friend stumbled upon this nugget of information in a bit of classmate stalking.

“So and so is a published writer now”, my friend wrote to me with a mixture of jealousy and derision.

Inside a part of me sang.

I can’t deny that sometimes when I take a step backwards and look at the expanse of my life which is long on memories but short on stuff, I’m left wondering if I’ve done the right thing. When I end up at yet another perfectly decorated housewarming, or at a party of someone in a part of town that I couldn’t afford to rent a toilet never mind own an apartment, it’s hard to remember that I’ve climbed to the top of a volcano, gone body surfing in Biarritz, rang in the New Year in Dublin.

It’s much easier to remember that I’m thirty (yep my birthday was last week), unemployed, single, living at home, with just enough possessions to fill the back of my dad’s SUV.

I don’t even own a car.

I wonder if I shouldn’t have used my twenties to ramble, to ping pong, and flit and instead used it to plod the path that society said I should have taken. The path that at 24 I felt was soul crushing, but now staring down at thirty and longing for security, stability and companionship seems comforting in its own way. The path, in other words, that a lot of my friends and acquaintances have taken, to when I take a step back and assess objectively, to mixed results.

It’s hard not to get caught up in the comparison game; no matter how relatively successful society deems you. And the vague sense of unease and jealousy espoused by my friend, who by many measure’s of society is successful, in the shadow of our classmates accomplishments made me feel better about myself.

Not because, as Calvin and Hobbes so succinctly put it that nothing helps a bad mood so much than spreading it around, but because his jealousy helped remind me that in the comparison game nobody wins.

At a party a few weeks ago I was talking to a guy who expressed jealousy at how much I’d traveled. I was totally jealous that he had a job. The funny thing is, finances aside we were in much the same situation: afloat. His Investment Banking job was poised to end, making business school his only possible option, and his long-term relationship which had been headed towards marriage derailed leaving him totally single.

I guess the truth is there is no such thing as the safe path, the guaranteed path.  There is merely our path, and we can walk it with strength or with trepidation and fear but we will have to walk it nonetheless.

We may as well have a good time while we’re doing it.

One of my last stops in Costa Rica was a small coastal town called Dominical. I spent a couple days there hiking on the beach and playing in the ocean like I was five years old.

I was having so much fun playing in the huge waves that I decided to take a surfing lesson. I had tried surfing a couple years ago during my travels in Australia, but I had only managed to stand up a couple times then and hadn’t impressed myself too much.

Still, the feeling of catching my first wave was with me, and I wanted to have that feeling again.

This time I took my lesson early in the morning with a guy named Bob, who had recently retired from a long career in pro surfing. I immediately liked his teaching style and was especially intrigued when he told me that the secret to being a good surfer is shutting off your brain.

“No thinking allowed–it’s all instinct and really feeling the ocean and the wave as you ride into shore,” he explained to me.

Once I was situated in the ocean with my board attached to my ankle, I shut off my brain. Bob told me that the waves and the rip tide were especially strong at the moment but that I should be able to stand up as long as I went after each wave with the right attitude.

“Once you pick your wave, you must go for it. Choose it and make it yours and then take it. Never turn back  or hesitate,” he said.

I watched each wave roll in and found the one I wanted. I climbed on my board and laid on my stomach. Bob helped me get centered, and once the wave was almost behind me… I started paddling like crazy.

I shut off my brain.

I felt the wave moving under my board. I took two more long strokes with my arms and popped up. I rode the wave until I hit shallow water. Just like that. Thrilling!

Of course there were plenty of wipe outs and failed attempts after that, but there were at least 15-20 other waves I caught.  Bob actually let me keep the board for an hour after my lesson. I stayed out in the ocean catching waves all by myself until I was too sunburned, thirsty, and sore to continue.

It felt great!

Just as I did during my surfing lesson, I managed to turn off my brain many times during the rest of my travels, and it felt good not to think for once. I didn’t worry about my lack of work back home. I didn’t worry about bills or finances. I didn’t even worry about that great “life plan” I’ve been attempting to organize for the past few months. I just enjoyed the moment and concentrated on what was right in front of me–flawless ocean, endless beach, and perfect streaks of sunlight.

Currently, I am on a flight back to Chicago. Even now, after all I’ve learned, I find that my brain is completely turned on and clouded with the many things on my list of things to do upon my return to the “real world.” Urgh.

This reminds me of how important it is to take a break from your routine sometimes–just to make sure you are living life right, just to give yourself a chance to recharge and find new inspirations. This trip was definitely a gift to myself, and I have taken something from it that I hope to apply to my life in Chicago.

When I first moved to Oregon almost 10 years ago, I was stunned by the massive amounts of dust that collected inside a home.  Sure, I lived in a prison cell sized dorm room with another person in super close proximity, but still, it was shocking. It continued when I moved into a larger house with roomies after moving out of the dorms…  Those dust bunnies amassed to dust bunny armies, way more than what I was used to in Nevada.

It caused a new tradition of sorts every year.

I clean during the winter: clean to get rid of that dust, get rid of material items that weigh me down, and get rid of the dust that settles figuratively in my head.

I’ve had a lot of dust these past years, most of it I’ve swept underneath the carpet only to have it pile up and cloud my mind recently.

This year’s clean out is especially special. It’s the one wear I honestly look around my surroundings and make some decisions to affect this single life of mine.

So far I’ve been able to materialistically place a very neat pile of items on the North side of my apartment.  This fort of past wonders is for Goodwill and contains the 2008 & 2009 Marisa of unused clothes and furniture that could be of better use for someone else.  It’s funny giving up these items; they contain memories of where and when I bought them but hold no sentimental value really.  They are in fact just things and I’m learning that heavy materialism is no longer a part of my vocabulary. In fact, things look lighter and more open, just as hardwood floors should.

That was the easy part– moving furniture, sweeping floors and using citrus polish to make things look pretty and shiny.

What’s hardest for me is shaking all that dust that I’ve collected emotionally over the years. I can admit now that being up here for the past three years without experiencing any real romantic relationship with someone has been well, lonely.  I swept myself to the side, always excusing my life with reasons like a heavy workload, only finding insanely lazy Portland guys and the worst of all, the worst thing a young woman can do to herself, succumbing to a lack of confidence, that low self-esteem that says I was not worthy of finding such happiness.

But no more!  I’m going to do it.  I’m taking that layer of dust off, swiffering myself with a new environmentally friendly, cranberry scented cleanser, and I’m changing and challenging things starting NOW. I’ve been building up to it too-going on dates, meeting new people, figuring out exactly what I want and hopefully what I need.

It’s going to be difficult I think, to stay shiny and dust-free for a bit.  And I’m bound to meet some more dusty guys, but hey, Spring-cleaning is only three months away.

I can totally do a quick swiffer then.  Just in time for SXSW.