So You Think You Can Write…

We’re very excited to announce a juicy opportunity for YOU not only to have your writing featured on the Stratejoy blog for the whole interwebs to see, but also to win some serious moola!  We’re talking $500, baby!

What would you do with $500? Decorate a room? Pay your rent? Donate it to charity? Take a class? Buy a smashing little black dress and flaunt it in a hot photo session? Here’s your chance to win some extra dough with a side of Stratejoy bragging rights…

Introducing: The 1st Annual Stratejoy Essay Contest!

We get to hear from 10-20 women each year on the Quarter Life Crisis blog (which we freakin’ love), but we want to hear from more of you. We see the heartfelt and loving comments you leave on the blog posts, the Facebook Wall and on Twitter. We know you have more to say, and we want to hear it!

If you’re spreading the word about this Contest, please use the hashtag #essaycontest and mention @stratejoy. Thank you darling!

Got questions? Let’s try to cover ‘em all.

**How do I enter the Stratejoy Essay Contest?**

We’re going to try and make this as simple as possible – we’ve even got your writer’s block covered.  The topic for the essay contest is:

“How do you live life on your own terms?”

Answer that question (in essay form) and send it in to katie (at) stratejoy (dot) com.

That’s it. You’re entered!  And yes, all entries need to address that question in some way, shape, or form.

**Is there a word limit?**

Try and keep your entry at 1,000 words or less.

**How do I know if you received my entry?**

Katie will shoot you a quick response letting you know she got your entry.

**I’m a Stratejoy affiliate / current QLC blogger / QLC blogger alumni /current client of Molly’s/ past client of Molly’s . Am I eligible to enter the essay contest?**

Yes. Yes. and Yes. This is open to any and all women of our tribe.

**What type of format should I send my entry in?**

Please send your essay contest entry in a Word Document. Please don’t send a PDF or any other non-editable format. We want to be sure we can copy and paste your text! Also, please use a readable font (like Times New Roman, Arial, etc.) While we love your creativity, sometimes hot pink/curliques/hidden picture essays are a little rough on our eyes.

**Can I include Pictures, Links, and Vidoes?**

Short answer?  No.  For this contest, we’re really looking for writing content — please concentrate all your love on the written words.  If you are chosen as a finalist, we’ll contact you for a short bio (where you can link it up baby!) as well as a picture for your post.

**Can I submit something that has been published somewhere else?**

Sorry gorgeous!  We are looking for original essays, created specifically for Stratejoy and for this contest.  If you’re not selected as a finalist, you’re welcome to publish your entry anywhere you like!  If you are a finalist, we ask that you allow the contest to reach it’s conclusion (when we announce the winner and hand over the cash!) before you republish your essay on your own site or blog.

**When is the deadline for entry?**

All eligible entries must be received by Wednesday, January 25th, 2011 at 11:30 PM PST. Any entries received after that will not be considered.

**How will the finalists/winner be chosen?**

After all of the entries are submitted by January 25th, 20 finalists will be chosen by the Stratejoy Team (Molly, Katie, and Nicole) based on a number of criteria — knocking our socks off, amazing stories, soul stirring truths, crystal clear writing, motivational mojo, and  adherence to all rules of submission.

Each of those finalists’ essays will be featured (one per day) through the month of February and we’ll be spreading the word far and wide.  We want to show off our talented Tribe!  At the end of February, we’ll open the public voting for one week and one week only. The grand-prize-money-maker $500 winner will be chosen by the intrawebs based on highest number of votes, not by our Team.

**How will the voting happen?**

On February 29th, we’ll post the link to the voting ballot for all of the essays. Then, you can have your friends, family, co-workers and everyone head on over and vote for you! Each person can only vote once! So spread the word! Of course, you’ll also get tons of love from the Stratejoy Tribe who will be casting their votes for the best essay. Also, voting will only be open for 3 days! After we tally the votes, BOOM, we’ll announce the big winner and everyone will throw streamers and sparkles all over. Sound good?

**If I’m a finalist, how do I get people to vote for my essay?**

Blog about it.  Tweet about it.  Shout it from the rooftops. We’ll give the specific details on HOW to vote once all of the finalists’ posts have been featured.  Feel free to start rallying your troops early. More Love = More Votes!

**When will the winner be announced and what will they win?**

The winner of the Essay Contest will be announced on or around March 2nd, 2012. (Or as soon as we tally those votes!) You’ll not only win some serious bragging rights and congrats from us via Social Media Land, but you’ll also be the sole recipient of the $500 Grand Prize!  And Molly will probably call you to squeal in excitement…

Any additional questions? Shoot Katie an e-mail and she’ll gladly answer them for you. (katie (at) stratejoy (dot) com).

Remember, the deadline for entry is January 25th (2 weeks!).

Molly Mahar is the founder of Stratejoy, a positive corner of the Internet that provides thousands of women the tools, strategies and camaraderie to lead authentically joyful lives. She is a full-time coach, facilitator and creator of the online Joy Equation Course , Joy Juice Prompts, and Create Your Magical Year Kit.  A dynamic speaker, Molly has lead workshops for lululemon, The US Army, Ladies who Launch, The Junior League, and CRAVE Business.  She helps women live life on their own terms, celebrate their worth, and change the world through individual fulfillment.  With enthusiasm! And action!  Molly adores any excuse to travel, belt 80′s tunes, drink red wine, and discuss the meaning of life. Oh, and she was just named to ProBlogger’s Top 20 Bloggers to Watch in 2012 and will be speaking at SXSW Interactive Conference this March. Wahoo!

This post is long overdue, but it’s no less important now than it was a week ago when I wanted to post it. For those of you who don’t know, I’m Katie, and I’m the Communications *slash* Community Manager of Stratejoy. Although, I’m researching new cute titles like “Happiness Advocate” and things of the like.

Anyway, this is totally not about me, but I do have the wonderful privilege to introduce you to a special group of gorgeous girls who have been doing extreme behind-the-scene magic for Stratejoy. Not only are they working to make current products and designs more functional and fun, but they’re diving head first with Molly, creating new products too.

Something I’ve learned over the last year of working with Molly is that running a business isn’t easy. While Molly has done a spectacular job running the ship herself, sometimes you need someone to be your lookout while you take the wheel and steer. Or, in this case, five someones.

Those lovely faces up there are  Nicole, Michelle, Kahea, Morgan and Whitney. They are Team Stratejoy. They’ve been “officially” on the Team for a few months now, but we’ve all been busy little bees trying to get some super cool stuff ready to go for your guys.

You can learn tons more about these ladies right here.  

Sidenote: Today is the. last. day. to sign up for the Council: Holiday Edition. It’s officially LIVE right now,  but if you really quick signup, we’ll get you access to the Facebook group immediately and you can dive right on in and join us as we wave goodbye to 2011, and welcome 2012 with a new outlook and kick-ass attitude. This is it – This is your year, love. Let’s make sure of it. 

Season Two bloggers back in the house. Heather Rae is catching us up on what has happened in her world over the last year. Hey, are you a Stratejoy Alum from Season 1-3? Wanna give the Tribe an update? We’d love to hear how you’re doing! E-mail katie (at) stratejoy (dot) com and we’ll hook you up with a guest post spot over the next week!

It seems ten years have passed since I last wrote for Stratejoy.  Yet, it was just last year.  Why?  Because ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING has changed.

Seriously.

Had I known then the journey ahead, I probably would have crouched in a corner, head in hands, screaming and rocking.  Sometimes it’s good we don’t know what’s in store.

When last we spoke, I had just moved to Seattle.  I was settling into life with my fiance in a new city, making new friends.  And then.  Well, I’ll be honest.  Then everything fell apart.

My seemingly perfect relationship ended a few months after moving.  I found myself without a job, my ego bruised, my bank account near empty.  I decided it was best to pack my car and drive home to Las Vegas.  I lived with my brother (and if you know anything about my brother and I, that was a feat in itself) and searched for a job — any job.  I was terrified.  I had visions of crying outside in the rain on my friends’ doorsteps, begging for food.

Of course, that never transpired.  My job search became a full-time endeavor.  I literally sat myself in the office eight hours a day, revising and submitting my resume.  It paid off.  I got a few offers.  Ultimately, I accepted a part-time teaching gig at a private high school and a part-time job with a local hospital.

Once my basic needs were under control, I started thinking again about what I really wanted.  I still wanted to write (remember that novel I was working on?).  But I also knew I needed to make a living.  Seeing as how I no longer had another person to consider, I decided to dream big.  If nothing could stop me, what would I do?  I would return to school.  I would join the Peace Corps.  I would travel.  I would write.  I would dance.  I would hike.  I would make art.

Okay.  So not that much changed.  I sort of already knew these things.  I figured, what the hell, why not try for everything?  I applied to the Peace Corps.  I applied to graduate school.  And I kept up with the other things I love so much — hiking, writing, dancing, etc.  Here’s one scenario I didn’t imagine: getting accepted to both places.

But that’s what happened.  I got my acceptance letter from the School Psychology program at UNLV, and then the acceptance from the Peace Corps arrived.  First, I jumped and giggled.  Second, I stressed.  Which should I choose?  I didn’t know.  So I’ll tell you what I did.  I accepted both.  Yes, I know that wasn’t very nice.  Because one would be expecting me, and I wouldn’t follow through.  But I just couldn’t choose.  Not then anyhow.

And before I knew it, an entirely different possibility opened up.  I was offered a full-time position at that school I worked at.  It was a good offer.  Plus, let’s be honest, a friend in Thailand had called me up and said I should visit over the summer.  If I accepted the job, I would be free to run off for a summer-vacay without feeling guilty.

I quit the job at the hospital, accepted the offer with the school and ran to Southeast Asia about as fast as I possibly could.  I had no plan and no idea what to expect.  I barely had time to throw the guidebook in my backpack.  I just went without thinking.  And let me tell you — it was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

My adventures took me through Thailand, Laos and Cambodia.  I got lost in jungles, marooned on deserted beaches, biked through ancient ruins and attacked by monkeys.  It was amazing.  Every.  Single.  Second.  Even the bad stuff was phenomenal.  Of course, I also fell head over heals for a close friend and got my heart broken.  But what’s a good Thailand story without a little heartbreak?

On top of everything, I gained a little clarity.  I signed up for grad school and said no to the Peace Corps.

Two months later, my return to the states was bittersweet.  Honestly, I wasn’t quite ready.  I could have carried on with my travels for months and months.  But I had a job to return to, and most importantly, I had classes to start.

And that brings me to today.  Today was my first day back at work.  I spent the day cleaning my biology lab (can you believe I’m a biology teacher?  I can’t.) and gushing over my trip.  Next Monday, I start classes to become a school psychologist — a career that will allow me a fair amount of enjoyment, decent pay and phenomenal hours.  That’s the kicker, really.  Because I want every summer off to chase my dreams and travel.  I want winter breaks to work on writing and spring breaks to attend yoga retreats.  And when it comes to paying the bills, I can think of nothing better than to help students succeed.  Yep, I think it’s going to be a win-win.

The path ahead is not going to be easy.  I’ve likely over-booked myself.  I’ve got full-time work and full-time school.  And it’s quite possible I’ll lose my mind.  But for right now, I’m exactly where I should be.  I’m wallowing in heartache, scared to teach science and getting butterflies (the good kind) about returning to school.  And I’m thankful for every moment.  You see, that’s the thing about life – it’s perfectly imperfect.

Happy Monday.

You might be thinking, “uh, where’s Molly Mahar?” and to that, I say “She’s in Greece. Having a fabulous time. Living boldly. Completely unplugged. Completely overjoyed with spending time with her family. And yes, I do need to call her by her first and last name because, honestly, how much cooler could your name get? Molly Mahar. ”

I digress.

You probably remember me, Katie. I was a Season II’er. I swooped in a few months ago to check in. I’m dropping in again because, well, I just love it here. Plus, since Molly is off being Greece-y, I didn’t want Mondays to be completely barren. We all need a little Monday inspiration sometimes.

Also, I wanted to take this opportunity to share a little somethin’ somethin’ with you guys that I’ve been working on for the last week or so. Non-stop. All day. All night.

The backstory: About 40 or so days ago, I joined a group of over 30 women led by our own Molly Mahar. “The Council”, as it was called, was a 40 day commitment to ourselves. A commitment to each other. A commitment to change something. Or a lot of somethings. We all got something different out of it. (I learned a crap-ton of stuff about myself, and I made two amazing friends, who are now big parts of my heart, and just ‘get me’).

One of the main focuses of the Council, (and of Molly’s post from last year), and the thing that was most difficult but beneficial to me, was learning how to love yourself in all of your perfectly imperfect glory. I learned how to accept my weaknesses and embrace them. I learned that my weaknesses don’t make me less of a person. I learned that I don’t have to change a damn thing about myself to be “more of a person”. I learned that I Am Enough. Just as I am. Right now.

This, my loves, is my declaration that I am enough. This is my “I Am Enough Manifesto”

I Am Enough

I’m intelligent, and can never learn too much. I’m witty and playfully sarcastic, and can never hear too many jokes. I wait for others to walk before I do, I hold the door open for people behind me, I have conversations with strangers.

I’m committed to my family, friends, clients, and colleagues. I’ll go to the ends of the earth for anyone who needs me.

I lose interest in jobs, projects, and people if I am not mentally stimulated. When I find a job, project, or person that I care about, I am 115% committed and won’t stop working, trying, and accomplishing…ever.

I’m a mover, a shaker, a true Libra, an ISFJ, and a sucker for the laugh of a child.

I need to feel needed, and if I don’t feel needed, I feel less than adequate. To gain the feeling of adequacy, I will often do things that I don’t want to do, in order to gain the respect and desire of others.

I’m still enough.

When I set my mind to something, I will do it. I’ll fall off the wagon, I’ll make a mistake or seven.  But I always get back on the horse, no matter how long I’m in the mud.

My story is one of true courage and will-to-survive. It is an inspiration to others, and I love when people tell me that they’re proud of what I’ve overcome.

Sometimes I reach for a pint of ice cream, a bottle of wine, a few peach pills, a box of chocolate to feel more at ease and to relieve stress. I cut corners when there is something else that I’d rather be doing. I watch a lot of TV. I leave important tasks up until the last minute because I work better under pressure. I make up excuses of why I didn’t exercise. I break promises, I’ve said one thing and have done another.  I’ve lied to myself. I’ve lied to others. I’ve hurt myself. I’ve hurt others.

And I am still enough.

I swallow my emotions more than I express them, but I have a true desire to be more open and honest with my feelings.  I can be inspired by a quotation, an episode of Sex and the City, or a conversation with my family or friends. When I am truly inspired, nothing can stop me. I am passionate about psychology, counseling, and helping others. I have a truly beautiful mind.

I believe in the power of love to conquer all. I want to feel the warmth of a true, honest, healthy relationship. I have faith in people that most people don’t have faith in, but can also lose my faith quickly in a friend who betrays, lies, or misleads me. I build emotional walls to keep people out, and I don’t let many people in. But when I do, they’re often inside for life.

I have not always liked myself. I’ve hated, punished, and spoke poorly of myself more than I’ve loved, rewarded, and commended myself.

Right now, just as I am today, I am enough. I’ll be enough tomorrow. I’ll always be enough. I always have been enough. I am the one that I’ve been waiting for. I’m everything I need, I’m worth it.

I am Katie. I am enough.

[photo credit: myself. (appropriately)]

Is this thing on?

Hiiii.

As you may have guessed, no, I am not  Bri, who usually holds this spot on Thursday. (Who is fine, just so you know. Just moving, and unpacking, and growing a baby!)

I’m also not Amanda, Juliana,  Dee, Laura, or Katharine. Nope, not Molly.  Sorry to disappoint some of you, and I know you look forward to the awesome journies of the ladies this season. I mean, there’s no doubt about it, Season IV rocks, and I’m so proud of my little ladies.

Some of you may know me as Katie, the ever-so-proud-to-be Editor in Chief for Stratejoy.  Others who have been around for a while, I’m Season II Blogger, Katie. You may remember me as the Jersey girl who had a shopping addiction, and an unfortunate battle with depression and suicide. I spent 6 months blogging about it, but didn’t share nearly as much as I would have liked to out of fear and shame.

Something that I can now admit is that I have a hard time letting people down. Knowing that I had a post due every week for my Stratejoy internship kept me pushing through another day. I didn’t want to let Molly down. I didn’t want to let my fellow Season II bloggers down. I didn’t want to let the readers down. Stratejoy literally kept me alive.

After Season Two

When Season Two ended, it was incredibly bittersweet. I celebrated lasting 6 months through the ups and the downs, yet I didn’t want to stop being a part of Stratejoy. I asked Molly if there was anything that I could volunteer to do. She gave me perhaps the opportunity of a lifetime, a way to give back. She asked me to be the editor-in-cheif and big-sister to the following season of bloggers. I happily accepted, and have held the position since.

A year ago, I posted this post. It spoke of how I had hit a dead end. I wasn’t happy, and trying to substitute things for happiness was not working. I was angry, frustrated, confused, and jealous of all of the other people I knew who were living happy lives, with their perfect dreams, perfect significant others, perfect everything.

I made the choice to go to therapy. I felt so broken, and I just wanted to be fixed.

Over the next 6 months, I’d be diagnosed several times with everything from bi-polar disorder, to severe depression, to dysthymia. I’d be put on prescription anxiety medication that I would use in whatever amount it would take to numb the pain. I’d uncover and unlock years of feelings of resentment, pain, and not feeling good enough. I’d break down and cry alone. My best friend would walk out of my life without looking back, except for the occasional glance. I’d miss my ex-boyfriends like crazy, no matter how bad they were for me. I’d revisit the idea of ending it all, mostly because it was the only way I could imagine to earn the attention of those I vied for attention from.

I became addicted to making others happy. Instead of shopping, I turned to taking on new projects, getting new jobs, and sleeping 3 hours a night. I felt like a robot. The moment I’d start to feel something, I’d just shut down, and go to bed.

The Wake Up Call

It didn’t happen all-of-a-sudden. I cannot pinpoint an event or conversation that made me wake up and smell the beautiful that life has to offer me.  It took a hell of a lot of work.

It took learning that I am not a diagnosis. I get down in the dumps from time to time, but that doesn’t make me depressed. It makes me human.

It took realizing that even though things might not be ideal at the moment, my thoughts and actions can change any situation.

It took me letting go of the past in order to proceed with an open heart into the future.

It took courage, dedication, and belief in myself to slowly crawl out of the dark hole I had gotten into.

Everyday isn’t a battle anymore. I have days where I have to try a little harder, or be a little more gentler to myself. I’m happy more days than I’m not happy.

The Acheivements, AKA Right Now:

In closing, just a list of the things that I’ve accomplished over the last year. It’s always fun to look back on the posts from last year, see what I wanted, and realize that I got them. In no particular order:

Graduated high school. Started a savings account. Rid my life of friends and friendships that I had outgrown. Moved out of a house that I wasn’t happy in. Shared my entire story with the internet.  Enrolled in college. Moved into a beautiful townhome in Philadelphia that I love. Started eating healthy. Stopped making excused. Started taking a multi-vitamin. Stopped eating (red) meat. Started opening up more. Tried dating again. Got a new job. (or 3). Fell in love with myself and my abilities. Developed an endearing case of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder with being organized and on time.

It’s been a long year, but I’m so thankful to have made it through. I look forward to each and every day, knowing very well that I have the ability to do anything. I can’t even believe this is ME saying this stuff. But I can promise you that I mean it.

The biggest lesson that I took with me from Stratejoy is that you’re never alone. You might not relate to any of the stories that anyone else is telling here on Stratejoy, but there are readers, behind-the-sceners, people in general who care. No matter what you’re going through, how out-there you think your life and problems are, there is always someone who can relate, listen, and remind you of why you’re here. There are people out there who can remind you of your amazingness when stress is clouding your vision.

There are people out there who care. You just have to let yourself let them.

Oh, and back to our regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. Promise.

Photo Credit: [Rachael Preeya Photography]

“One day you’ll feel like everything is finished. That will be the very beginning.” – Unknown

I’ve started, completed, deleted, and rewritten this post about 10 times already. 6 months ago, I was composing my first blog post as a Season 2 guest blogger, and today I’m composing my last post.

Even typing “last post” doesn’t sit right with me.  I feel like its a fluke, Molly is going to call Nicole, Heather Rae and I tomorrow and say “Hey lovelies, you’re my permanent quarterlife crisis bloggers!” Of course I understand that it would be as if she were sentencing us to a lifetime of Quarterlife Crisis blogging – which is kind of a prison sentence. But a pretty prison, with flowers and pink sketchy stars and hand drawn hearts. But a prison, nevertheless.

6 months ago I was sleeping and spending my days away doing nothing of great joy. I couldn’t remember the last time that I was truly happy, let alone how to spend a day being good to myself. I was stuck in a dark tunnel, and though little bits of light would shine in, I was too busy shielding my eyes from it. I got too comfortable with the feeling of misery, and was satisfied with a mediocre day instead of chasing amazing days and experiences. I wrote it off as depression, but was relieved to find out that other women were in the same situation I was, and it wasn’t a life of misery sentence.

It was just a quarterlife crisis.

Halfway through (about 3 months ago) I hit my ultimate rock bottom and blogged here about it. I realized that in order for things to change, I had to make changes. Wanting things to change wasn’t enough. Getting e-mails from the Universe wasn’t enough. I had to show up to life in order to experience it. Life can’t be lived from underneath the covers, no matter how many numbered thread count they are.

You guys kind of know me by now, right? I’m sure I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,  I don’t complete things. I have tons and tons of ideas, but absolutely no follow through. I’ve been trying to graduate school for 7 years now. I start tons of projects and never see them to completion. I end up working to a point that challenges me in a new way that I’m not prepared for, and I stop.

But this time for 6 months, 180 days, I created 26 blog posts. I stuck with it, I posted through the good times, and through the bad.  I can proudly say that even though my days aren’t filled with sunshine and happy things, I can see a bright light at the end of my tunnel.

I’ll be graduating in a little over 2 months, and going on to get my degree. I’ve cut red meat out of my diet and am working toward eliminating chicken. I moved from New Jersey to Philadelphia. I know what I want from life, and I know exactly what I need to do to get it. I’ve cultivated healthy habits and developed strong relationships.

…and I have all of you to thank.

To The Readers: Those of you who have read, commented, retweeted, liked facebook statuses, etc. THANK YOU. Whenever one of my posts would hit, I’d check religiously to see if anyone commented with their own experiences/feedback. This surely sent Molly’s stats off the charts with Philadelphia, PA hits.

To Heather and Nicole - You ladies are complete awesome-stars. I loved blogging with you lovely ladies and getting daily inspiration from you. I can only hope we stay in close touch, and I’ll be keeping up with you and your lives as often as humanly possible.

To Molly - I don’t do emotion, but you forced it out of me. Your Joy Equation encouraged me to really assess my current reality, and realize that things needed to change. I learned that I can do anything that I want to do, but I need to DO things in order to achieve things.  I’m the poster child for “I tried every program and nothing worked”, and you proved me wrong. Your faith, encouragement, and reassuring support got me through the toughest time of my life. I also don’t do XOXO’s, but XOXO, seriously.

To The Season 3 Bloggers: I’m so excited to be working so close with you guys. Your stories are super amazing, and I can’t wait to hear more about how your big lives unfold over the next 6 months. Enjoy the journey, and if you need anything, blog related or not, hit me up. Sometimes you just need that neutral ear to listen. I’m here, babes.

And with that, friends, I must be moving on. Although it’s comfortable here, sharing my experience with the QLC, it’s time for me to become an official Quarterlife Crisis Survivor and keep on surviving.

And in the words of one of my guilty pleasure movies, Grease:

“Is this the end?”
“Of course not, it’s only the beginning”

Instead of the traditional name and description image that I typically use at the end of my posts, and have for the last 6 months, I have a new, improved one with the applicable updates, courtesy of the wonderful, amazing, and talented Erin Workman. (She makes adorable things at her Etsy shop. She has adorable puppies. She also does some awesome graphic and web design.)

[Note from the Editor:  Katie, Katie, Katie.  Seriously, where do I even start?  You have been an AMAZING voice here.   You have been an AMAZING fan of Stratejoy.   You are simply AMAZING, Katiepants.  I don't know if I've ever told you this- but I get plenty of emails that start with, "I totally relate to Katie.  I'm so glad you featured someone just like me..."  Your honesty, your sass, your ability to pay attention to why you do what you do and then share it with us is pretty incredible.   Those big dreams of yours, honey?  They're so yours.  Not a doubt in my mind.

Thank you with every ounce of my being for sharing your story..  I am so thankful I got the chance to spend so much time with you in DC (hugging you every other minute!) and can't wait until our next rendezvous.  And I'm freakin' jazzed you're staying on to help with Season 3.  The girls couldn't have a better big sister.   Big smooshy xxxx's and oooo's,  Molly]

Six months ago, I started a new journey.  I walked away from my job and made a pact with myself – I would write my novel, start traveling and develop as an artist.  And then I decided to share that journey with you.

That’s been the best part in some ways, sharing this experience with other people who totally get it.  Which is also probably the reason I put off writing this post for so long.  What can I say?  I’m having a little separation anxiety.

Actually, I’ve been having a lot of separation anxiety lately.  Two weeks ago, I uprooted myself from Pasadena to start a new life in the Seattle area.  I arrived in the Pacific Northwest after a freaking long yet somehow amazing road trip, and the reality of leaving my friends behind hit me.  Then I realized I’d also moved incredibly far from my family in Las Vegas.  Everyone is so far away.

These days, I remind myself of this: when one chapter ends, another begins.

So, long story short, this is my last official Stratejoy post.  Personally, the fact that six months have passed since this all began, well, I can’t believe it.  Can you? I seriously had to look at the calendar and count the months to be sure.  (Not even kidding about that.)  I left my job six months ago.  I started writing for Stratejoy six months ago.  I set out to work on myself and my dreams, yep, six months ago.

Looking back at where I started, I think I’ve done pretty well.  It has, by no means, been a perfect journey.  But I made an absolutely amazing start.  And for me, for where I am right now in this moment, it actually is perfect.  Because what I’ve realized is this — where I am at any moment in time, that’s exactly where I should be.

I finished the first draft of my novel.  I haven’t started traveling yet (unless you count a three-day, six state road trip through the western U.S. and moving out of state), but I am making plans to take an international trip before the year is out.  Writing a novel sort of took over my life, leaving my art on the back burner.  I did, however, join a group for mixed-media collage artists, and I can’t wait to meet the group in August.  I went rock climbing and hiking and spent more time outdoors.  And I found a great language institute where I’ll sign up for French classes in the fall.

All in all, not a bad ride.  And it’s only just begun.  That’s the beauty in all of this.  The years may be short, but the days are long.  And I plan to pack as much life into each day as I possibly can.

I invite you to continue following my journey — the likely maddening experience of revising a novel, the joy of meeting new friends, the sadness of missing old ones, the love, the wins, the fails and my attempt to break all the rules.  Send me an email.  Leave me a comment.  Tweet me.  (And I may just resort to begging Molly to let me guest post on occasion.)  Also, if you’re ever in the Seattle area (maybe you already are), I’d love to meet you!

Here’s how to find me:

My Blog — In Search of Squid

Twitter — @insearchofsquid

There’s a song lyric that I love.  “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”

And so, I’m signing off.  I’m thinking of it as a new beginning. A new beginning for the next group of sure-to-be-amazing Stratejoy bloggers.  And a new beginning for me, as I embark on this next chapter.

[Note from the Editor:  Okay, Heather Rae, I'm totally crying over here.  When I think back to your journey, the immense of amount of bravery, ups and downs, and grace in the face of some BIG changes- I get all choked up.  You're the epitome of a gutsy girl and I'm incredibly grateful that you shared it all with us.  Thank you from all of us.  Seriously, sunshine-  You are INSPIRING.  I can't wait to say I knew you when...

And I'm ridiculously excited for our long, long lunch next Monday.  To thank you in person, to give you a great big hug, to welcome you to this next part of your journey here in Seattle.  I wish you all the best in the world- adventures, love, learning, and success served up exactly as you'd like it.  I'm thrilled that we're going to be fast friends here in the Northwest.  Can't you just feel it?     Love x 30,  Molly]

When I started writing for Stratejoy, I had just up and moved to San Francisco with no job, no money, no friends, no place to live, and no plan. I had a crush on a boy and a love for the Golden Gate Bridge, but that was about it.

In the time that’s passed between then and now, I have found an incredible job, a stable income, a place to live, some of the best friends I’ve ever had, a plan for the future, a relationship with a new (and infinitely better-for-me) boy, and a continually renewing love for the Golden Gate Bridge.

Taking this weekly pause to write about the more serious side of my life has helped me frequently reflect on who I am, who I want to be, and how to best close the gap between the two. In those moments of reflection, here are the lessons I’ve learned:

Take the time to talk things out with the people you care about. Honest communication solves most problems before they become problems at all. And don’t just talk, listen.

Understand that different doesn’t have to mean bad. I’m me and you’re you and our differences can help us bring each other closer to where we want to be.

Send thank you cards. Sincere expressions of gratitude let someone know that what they did mattered to you, and most of the time what we need is to feel appreciated.

Make plans. The only thing better than having something delicious to look forward to is feeling the plans turn to memories and knowing you’ll be able to fondly remember them forever.

Treat yourself better than you treat anyone else. Understand that selfish and self-care are two different things, and that you can’t show up for anyone else if you don’t show up for yourself first.

Remember that your greatest freedom is the freedom to choose. You can choose which impulses to follow and which to ignore. You can choose who you let into your life, how you spend your time, and what occupies your thoughts. Think good thoughts.

Find what inspires you, and then mainline it on the regular. There’s no such thing as too much inspiration.

Stand up for the people you love and the beliefs that move you. Let yourself be passionate, even if it means your ideas and feelings will be isolating to some. We’re not here to please everyone and there’s no glory in being watered down, overly accommodating versions of ourselves.

Stop wanting what you don’t want. Learn to tell the difference between what you actually want and what your ego wants. Tell your ego to shut the hell up.

Ask questions. Other people can’t read your mind, so don’t assume you can read theirs. The fastest way to find out what you want to know is to just ask.

Give people room to make mistakes. High standards give you great results, but unrealistic standards give you nothing but disappointment.

And lastly, take risks. If you don’t jump to try to reach your best possible life, who will?

[Note from the editor: Nicole Antoinette, it's been an absolute JOY, to have you in my life these last 8 months.  Can you believe that's all it's been?   From our very first emails that crossed paths in the ether, to lunch in SF, to phone calls asking the Universe to just get you to California, to the amazing hot mess you pulled off in Vegas- you are a bundle of energy, an amazing friend, and a woman to be reckoned with.

I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for sharing your passion, your killer writing skills, and such an intimate slice of your life over here.  The Tribe and I will never be the same, sweetness! Here's to the big dreams coming true, finding happiness in the small moments, and being utterly and deliciously YOU.  'Cause you're so damn good at being YOU.   Love, Love, Love,   Molly]

photo credit: Jamie Varon

Molly, Nicole, Heather Rae, and I all exchanged interview questions. Here are my answers to the (often difficult!) questions I was asked. Enjoy.

What’s your favorite food memory?

Back before going out to eat was so common place, I remember going to the local pizza shop in my hometown of Bellmawr, New Jersey. Paradise Pizza is a staple of the town, and the food is amazing., My mom, dad, brother and I would head over to the restaurant once or twice a month and indulge in pizza and chicken sandwiches.

What can’t you live without?   What do you wish there was less of in the world?

I’m certain that I wouldn’t be able to live without Music. The magic of hearing an entire song, or even a simple lyric that speaks to you is something that I want to experience over and over again.

On the other hand, if the world had less mice and toothaches, I’d be a very happy camper.

If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?

I’d love to have the ability to use teleportation to get from A to B.  I can’t tell you how many times I wished I was across the country with a friend in a time of need, or across the world sight seeing, but didn’t have the time, money, or ability to make the commute.

Plus, I’d totally “accidentally” teleport into Ralph Fiennes, Danny Gokey, AND Trevor St. John’s bedrooms for fun.

If you could live anywhere in the world for six months (money being no object), where would you live and why?

I’d absolutely live in Washington DC or somewhere in Canada. Washington DC, which I’ve been to twice, is just so convenient, clean, and rich in history, that I can’t get enough of it. Plus, metro travel? Win!  As for Canada, I’ve always wanted to go because the pictures are so gorgeous. I’ve never been out of the United States, so another country, albeit America’s Hat, would be really awesome.

What do you consider the most important event in your life so far?

Although it was the most tragic, I think hitting my depression rock bottom has been the most important event in my life. The experience left me completely clueless as to where to go, but with the help of friends, self-help books, the Joy Equation, and my own will and determination, I’ve become a better, more determined person. The rock bottom has also given me the drive to help others in similar situations realize that Poor Mental Health and the Quarter Life Crisis sometimes go hand in hand.

If you had to spend $10,000 in one day, what would you do with it?

Being the undercover tech-geek in hiding that I am, I’d surely buy a new computer, an iPad, and some other funky gadgets. I’d get a room at the ritziest hotel room for a night, just to enjoy some “me” time. I’d go crazy in Ikea, and decorate like mad. I’d pay off some outstanding debt, and then buy a new bed to have a wonderful night’s sleep on. Oh, and I’d take my close friends out to dinner somewhere classy – like McDonalds, Tria Cafe.

Describe your priorities in four words or less.

Prioritize what matters first.

What is the one thing you most want to be known for?

Whenever that fateful day comes that my life ends, I want to be known as someone who made a difference in lives. I want to be thought of as the girl who made people laugh, and helped young adults create life strategies for success. I want to be known as me. (I think that was more than one thing. Oops!)

You’re in a bar for karaoke night, you have to choose three songs to sing, and each one has to be one that you relate to each of the following things: Love, Life, and Friends. Which three songs do you choose and why?

Love:
“This Is It” – Michael Jackson OR “You and Me” – Dave Matthew’s Band
“I never heard a single word about you. Falling in love wasn’t my plan” – MJ
“You and Me together, can do anything. The two of us together, can do anything” – DMB

Life:
“Hold On”- Wilson Phillips
“Don’t you know, things will change, things will go your way, if you hold on for one more day”

Friends:
“That’s What Friends Are For” – Dionne Warwick
“Keep smiling, keep shining, knowing you can always count on me, for sure. That’s what friends are for. In good times, and in bad times, I’ll be on your side forever more. That’s what friends are for”

What’s the weirdest thing that you’ve cried because of? (Maybe a movie, an unexpected song, something someone said that wouldn’t normally inflict emotion).

I’m a big One Life to Live fan. I can’t tell you how many times that show gets me crying. Yes, I know the acting is always overly dramatic, and that the love scenes are overplayed, but I probably cry at least twice a week from a scene on the show.

I’m coming to visit your city for just 2 hours during a layover flight for a business trip. Where would you be certain to take me and why?

I’d definitely take you to Rittenhouse Square in Center City, Philadelphia. It’s a beautiful area full of rich and snotty people, but the landscape and buildings make up for the prissy attitudes. Rittenhouse Park is lovely any time of the year, and one of my current roommates works at a coffee shop there, so I’m sure he could make us some amazing Apple Cinnamon Chai!

And finally, my inspiration list:

People:
My grandmother – we have one of the most dysFUNctional families ever, but she somehow finds it in her heart to love each and every one of our huge family no matter what we’ve done in the past. Her ability to endure physical and emotional pain and still smile, laugh, and talk about Soap Operas with me is inspiring.

Steve Ballmer - Hire me. Hire me. Hire me. Any man that can put on a show like this and get paid tons of money for it needs to be my boss.

Songs:
“Independently Happy” – Blue October
“Man in the Mirror” – Michael Jackson
“Whatever Happens” – Michael Jackson (I know…. I’m a huge fan…)

Books:
“Living Alone and Loving It” – Barbara Feldon (not just for people who live alone!) (Get it here!)
“The Catcher in the Rye” – JD Salinger

Places:
Anywhere where I can see the city skyline at night
the Ocean
Airports (having a destination and the preparation for flight both give me a high.)

Websites:
Operation Beautiful
To Write Love on Her Arms
Post Secret
Stratejoy (of course!)
the Daily Motivator

Molly, Nicole, Katie and I decided to mix things up this week and interview each other.  We each threw in a few questions and then tackled them on our own.  It’s amazing what you can learn about people this way.  So here’s my take on what they wanted to know.  Enjoy.

What can’t you live without?   What do you wish there was less of in the world?

Well, there’s the obvious, like love and friendship.  I certainly can’t live without those things.  But if we’re talking about life’s indulgences, I definitely can’t live without internet access.  I’ve been without for the past week, and I’ve got to say, it’s killing me.  How did we ever live without the internet?

As for what I wish there were less of in the world?  I wish there were less violence, less hate and less judgment.  I wish everyone had the opportunity to live their own life, as they saw fit, without the rest of us judging their actions.  So long as no one’s hurting anyone else, that’s what matters.  Less judgment, more love.

Inspiration List.   Person?  Song?  Book?  Website?  Place?

Person:  Although there are many more, here are two that you’ll recognize.  Hillary Clinton and Madeleine Albright top my list at the moment.  I’ve read their books, followed their careers and been inspired by each of them at one time or another.  Their endeavors help me to remember that anything is possible – I just have to put myself out there and try.

Song:  I love music.  It has this way of getting into my soul and moving me, right down to my core.  Currently, Bon Jovi’s Love’s the Only Rule is seriously inspiring.

Book:  I read about a book a week, so this one is really hard to narrow down.  I’m huge into women’s issues, so I would definitely say Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide.  You can’t read it without being touched.  Seriously, you’ll want to get out there and make a difference as soon as you finish it.  Also, The China Study by T. Colin Campbell greatly influenced my eating habits.

Website:  There’s a website on writing that I love.  It has so many practical tips and writing exercises and always gets me in the mood to put pen to paper.  It’s called How to Plan, Write, and Develop a Book and is written by Mary Carroll Moore.  If you’re at all interested in writing a book of your own, I highly recommend her site.

Place:  The cliffs overlooking the ocean in Palos Verdes, CA.  I would drive down there on occasion and just watch the waves.  It’s peaceful and beautiful and awe inspiring.

What’s your favorite food memory?

On my first trip to Maui, I went with one of my very best friends.  Our first day, we ate at a restaurant called the Hula Grill.  Sitting in the sand, we listened to a guy sing and play guitar while splitting a specialty pizza and a French dip.  It was divine.  We went back a few times before we left.  Now, every time we return, the Hula Grill is our very first stop.

If you had to spend $10,000 in one day, what would you do with it?

I would definitely book a trip.  I’d spend a week in Peru trekking to Machu Picchu and then head over to Ecuador for a cruise to the Galapagos Islands before spending a week camping and kayaking with a guide in the Amazon Rainforest.  Heaven.

Describe your priorities in four words or less.

Love.  Travel.  Friendship.  Joy.

What is the one thing you most want to be known for?

I want to be known for having tried.  I may not be a runaway hit in everything I do, but I want people to know that I tried everything that inspired me, everything I was interested in, everything I thought might make a difference in someone’s life.  I want a person to see my efforts and say, “Hey, if she can try doing what she loves, maybe I can, too.”

You’re in a bar for karaoke night, you have three songs to sing – and each has to be one that you relate to on each of these things: Love – Life – Friends. Which three songs do you choose, and why?

Love:  You and I, sung by Michael Buble.  It gives me goose bumps every time I hear it.  It’s one of those songs that capture the essence of love so wholly, so completely.  It takes your breath away.

Life:  You’ll have Time, sung by William Shatner.  I heard this song while sitting on the train on my way home from work several years ago.  It’s kind of funny and a little morbid, and when I heard it, something clicked.  I soon left my job and set out to discover what I was really passionate about in life.

Friends:  Lean on Me, sung by Bill Withers.  I think we can all relate to the lyrics in this song, and every time I hear it, it puts a smile on my face.  It’s always good to know you have someone to lean on.

What’s the weirdest thing that you’ve cried because of? (Maybe a movie, an unexpected song, something someone said that wouldn’t normally inflict emotion)

Everything makes me cry.  I once cried because of a Wal-Mart commercial.  I’m pretty sentimental in that way.  (And I swear, that commercial was really touching.)  But here’s one that may not sound surprising to you, though it certainly was to me: I cried when I left my apartment in Pasadena for the last time.  I spent the last six years talking about how much I wanted to move out of that apartment.  When it came time to leave, though, it was hard.  I’d created a life there, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to let it go.

I’m coming to visit your city for just 2 hours during a layover flight for a business trip. Where would you be certain to take me and why?

I only got to Seattle (well, technically, Kirkland) a week ago.  I don’t really know anything yet.  So I’d probably take you to the downtown area by the water.  It’s cute and seems to have good restaurants.  Now, if I were taking you somewhere in Pasadena, I’d take you on a hike to the Eaton Canyon waterfall.  It’s awesome.  And I love finding hidden natural treasures in the midst of a city.

If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?

I’d have the power to turn into a fly.  That way, I could literally be a fly on the wall.  People’s lives fascinate me, and it would be amazing to see how they really live, what they do, what they say.  Imagine all the stories I could come up with for my books?  Let’s just hope no one would swat me!

If you could live anywhere in the world for six months (money being no object), where would you live and why?

This is actually on my life list, to live in another country for at least six months.  Honestly, I’d go just about anywhere.  I love learning about cultures different from my own.  I’ve been dying to learn French, so I’d probably choose a French speaking country.  Maybe somewhere in Africa?  Or even France itself?  I might even choose Tahiti and spend my days hiking and exploring little known beaches and my nights sleeping in an over water bungalow or camping under the stars.

What do you consider the most important event in your life so far?

Certainly, meeting Steven immensely changed the direction of my life.  Completing college was a huge milestone that shaped the way I look at the world.  Quitting my job to focus on writing a book; taking a chance, being brave and following my passions instead of a paycheck.

In the end, I hope when I look back there isn’t one event that stands out above the rest.  I hope there are a thousand events, all different and remarkable to me, that touch my heart and shape my world in their own unique way.