Category: Season 3

Welcome to the Quarterlife

posted 27th January 2011    Written by: Marian    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Job/Career/Work, Life Lesson, Marian, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, What I've Learned

Regardless of the fact that I make my living on the internet (or maybe because I do), I’ve always been hesitant about sharing my life online. Sure, I do the obligatory Facebook albums and try to “be myself” by swearing up a storm, but I have never ever ever actually shared my Big Bad Fears with complete strangers.

And then Stratejoy came along. Looking back, I definitely started tentatively. I was so used to blogging to help people, to teach things, to build up My Brand. And that’s when something funny happened… I slowly (s-l-o-w-l-y) started opening up. Sharing things I didn’t particularly want to share. Being more honest with myself – and with you – than I’ve ever been. And you guys were awesome. Like, I knew the Stratejoy community was absurdly cool, but this cool? Nuh-uh.

Every time I admitted a dirty secret or talked about my life and where it’s headed in a way that wasn’t comfortable, you guys shared your stories, cheered me on and pretty much blew me away with all  the support.

And here’s what I learned in the six months here: We are sooo all in this together.

How many of us know 20-30somethings who really and truly know their path? That aren’t riddled with guilt or anxiety about choosing one “life option” over another?

Maybe it’s because I’m surrounded with people similar to myself, but because of Stratejoy, I see it everywhere now: People just want to be happy. Authentically. We hunt for that perfect job because we want to be passionate. We get married and have babies because we think these things will fulfill us. Not that they don’t, I can’t wait to have some crazy kids running around the joint, but my point is that this entire Life thing is this amazing shared experience and the whole, what-the-hell-do-I-do-with-it is even more shared.

Boyfriend Sam and I go around in circles having the same conversations: What should I do with my life? Should I study? Should I get a real job? Should we travel? Should we settle? Knowing that this older, more mature, more experienced guy was going through the same things as me has been a huge weight off my shoulders. We could be 28 or 88 and it wouldn’t make a damn difference.

Knowing that the women (and men) who read this site feel just as lost, but also just as passionate about the journey, is one of the most uplifting and comforting experiences of my professional life.

You guys are wonderful. This site is wonderful.

But six months after starting, it’s suddenly over. I have no freaking idea how that happened. I have no clue how six months of my life just flew by.

Granted, the past six months have been a bit of a whirlwind. Last April I was single and living with my parents in Connecticut. Now it’s summer in New Zealand (in January) and I’m living with the love of my life on a completely new adventure.

I’m also completely in the middle of my quarterlife crisis. Six months ago I really didn’t understand what that meant. Now I still may have no idea what I’m doing, but there are two HUGE things I’ve learned about dealing the QLC:

  1. Do something. You don’t have to know what The Big Life Plan is, but taking one little step at a time is perfectly okay. Just make a decision. Today. Do something. Go somewhere.
  2. You are not alone. Really, you’re not. That girl you graduated with who seems crazy successful or that relative who’s super passionate about x,  y or z? They’re probably just as confused and wound up as you are. And at the end of the day? You have this amazing community to fall back on.

These six months may be over, but you can be sure I’ll be sticking around.

[Note from the Coach: Marian, you are a force to be reckoned with and I mean that in the very best way possible.... I absolutely adored having you share a slice of the real Marian without worrying about teaching or clients or the uberforces of Social Media judging you.  We got YOU.  And I am so, so grateful for that.  I always forget that you're 23 because of your wisdom, your ability to push convention, and the gorgeous faith you have that things will work out.

Thank you, gorgeous girl, for being here.  For showing up on the good days and bad.  For sharing fancy Italian veggies and prosecco with me and introducing me to your beau on the streets of NYC.  For being such a pr0Stratejoy force and  making me feel like we're doing something right over here.  I'm such a fan of you and seriously can't wait to see where your journey leads.  Wherever that may be!  Kisses to you and mutual wise laughter at all the assholes in the world.   Love, Molly]

[photo credit:  sakanami]

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Cheers to the New Beginnings in our Endings

posted 26th January 2011    Written by: Nikki    CATEGORY: Creativity, Events, Life Lesson, Nikki, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, What I've Learned

I can NOT believe this is my last Stratejoy post.  I seriously might cry, y’all.

The adventure I’ve been on these last six months with Marian, Lindsey, Alisha, Renee, Doniree, Molly, and all of you has been indescribably life-changing.  I didn’t know I had it in me to write like this, to be so honest and transparent with strangers (a lot of you aren’t really strangers anymore!); I didn’t know I was capable of inspiring other people.  I was a girl who felt lost and misunderstood, even to herself.

You, by reading and through your comments, have shown me I’m not alone, crazy, or lame.  You have made me buzz with joy, knowing I’ve helped you see your QLC differently and knowing you relate to what I’m going through.  Your comments have made me laugh, cheer, think and cry, and your friendship and love has given me the strength to be honest and strive for better.

YOU are Stratejoy.

This community has been an incredibly important part of my life these last six months and, though I’m SO sad to not be writing here anymore, I know I’m not leaving.  I can’t wait to see what brilliant wisdom the Season 4 bloggers have to impart, and I’m sure I’ll be continually inspired, by them and by you, for a long time to come.

Since my first post went up in August, I’ve grown from having no idea what I want to having clear vision of my future.  I’ve become more confident and balanced, more self-aware and honest, more excited and proactive.  I’ve faced my fears, learned to love being single, and proclaimed “Quarterlife Fuck Yeah!!!“  It’s been a terrifyingly awesome journey.

Thank you for sticking with me through it all; thank you for helping me grow into the woman I now am.

Because Stratejoy inspired me to make this next step, I have an announcement to make here.  Y’all are hearing it first.  Today – right this minute – I’m launching my new website, The Grateful Sparrow (if you were following me before, it’s different!) and I want to invite all of you to be a part of it.

I’m committing to talk about joy.  Your experience of it, lack of it, the process of finding it, growing with it, keeping aware of it.  I want to inspire you to live a life you love and love the life you live, every day.  I want it to be your go-to source for a jolt of inspiration and to jump-start your daily gratitude.  It’s the anti-kumbayah; your happiness is serious business, and it’s totally within your control.

Molly & I agreed Stratejoy and The Grateful Sparrow are totally BFFs; let’s keep building this community of amazing, inspiring people and keep the love flowing!

CHEERS to everything you’ve taught me and everything we’ve shared, t0 changing the way we look at the QLC, to being fucking amazing strong women, and to who we are and who we’ll become…

All my love,

Nikki

[Note from the Coach:  Nikki- Damn straight! The Grateful Sparrow and Stratejoy are totally BFF's!  I know these last 6 months have been full of twists and turns and challenges and surprises, but through it all- you have remained utterly open and present.  To life.  To the possibility of joy in the moment.  And it's been a gorgeous, gorgeous thing to witness.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing it with us.  Your authentic voice and soul sister stories will be missed.

But... As we all know- you've got a new "home" from which to keep inspiring us.  And a big wide world to explore.   And bunches to love to share and receive.  From one joy-embracer to another-- all my wishes for success in any path you choose to skip down, Nikki.  It's yours for the taking.  And yes, we still have an outstanding date to play on lawns, drink wine together, and dissolve into multiple bouts of laughter. Soon, I promise.  Nothing but love, Molly]

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6 Months Ago, and Now

posted 25th January 2011    Written by: Doniree    CATEGORY: Doniree, Family, Job/Career/Work, Love/Relationships, Season 3, What I've Learned

Six months ago it was August. Six months ago, I vacationed in Portland with Chris. It was my second visit to Portland, the first having been back in April.  Amazing city.  I spent a week in the Reno/Tahoe area and even got to cross Number 18 off my Life List.  Six months ago, I quit a great job (again) and launched back into establishing myself as an independent contractor.

And now, I live in Portland (oh, did I forget to mention that? Whoops!  I moved to Portland right before Christmas!).  Now, I’ve added another thanks-to-blogging trip to my list of awesome ways I’ve traveled in the last couple of years to my list.  Now I’ve renewed what was my very first independent contract and in August, I signed on as Community Manager for a kick-ass non-profit based in Boulder (but cool with me working from Portland).

6 months ago, I knew I loved Chris but I hadn’t told him yet.  I’d told my girlfriends. I’d told my sister, my mother.  I also knew exactly what it meant to him to say it to someone, so I lived and breathed it until I could speak it. And then one day, he said it. Pulled me close, whispered in my ear, that he loved me, Doniree Walker. That he was IN love with me.

And now, I get giddy over the fact that I fall asleep after kissing him goodnight, and wake up to his snuggles in the morning. I look at our kitchen, at the results of whatever kitchen experiment we’d tried together (tonight was personal pizzas, they turned out amazing), and I am filled with wonder for this man who I love more than I’ve ever loved before.  And for gratitude for the way he loves me – kitchen dancing, too many pairs of shoes by the door, tendency to not close cabinets and drawers all the way – and all.

Six months ago, I was realizing for the millionth time exactly the kind of women I’d met in Boulder and had come to call sister friends.  Six months ago, Chelsea moved to Boulder from Denver, and Jackie moved to Boulder from New Jersey.  Chelsea shared her vibrant, colorful and dramatic self with our dynamic, and Jackie brought a beautiful, compassionate, nourishing energy to the group, and six months ago, the traditions of cooking dinner together, sharing personal details together, and playing wildly hilarious games together with such strong, brilliant women continued and grew stronger.

And now, I miss these women and the connections that group has, deeply.  I love you women. You wildly radiant women. And while I’m excited to meet new, wonderful friends in Portland – I recognize that what that group shared was unique and something special.  And I’m excited to find my something special here, but hey Portland? You got some big shoes to fill.

Six months ago, my sister called me and told me she was pregnant.  She and her husband, my sweet and hilarious brother-in-law, were going to have a baby.  Six months ago, I jumped up and down in my kitchen at the news, cried my little eyes out, and went all Big Sister on my Little Sister. I rejoiced that she would soon be a mother, and that I’d soon be an aunt.  I immediately texted my above-mentioned girlfriends and shared the news.  Miranda’s pregnant!

And now, I’m ecstatic that we know she’s expecting a girl.  A niece for me! And now, I’m more grateful than I can express that I was able to see her twice in two weeks over the holidays and watch how beautiful her little baby bump has become.  It’d be an understatement to say I was completely obsessed with it the entire time I spent time with her.

Six months ago, I was blonde. And now, a brunette. I’d say so much else in my life has changed in the last six months, but I don’t see it that way.  Sure, I’m in a different city and all, but rather than change, I like to think I’ve simply moved forward. Grown, stretched, reached farther than I thought I could reach.  I’m not a different version of me or of anyone, but the same me with new lessons under my belt, new experiences in my memory, and renewed gratitude for family, friends, and the sparkly, brilliant results of living nothing short of my absolute best self.

It’s been an honor to share these past six months with you, dear Stratejoy readers. Thank you for your feedback, your support, and for sharing YOUR stories with me and the other bloggers this Season.

{Photo credit: Hello, Gorgeous. Photography}

[Note from the Coach:  Doniree, Doni- you sparkly, deep, sunshiney soul.  I can't even remember when I first learned about your loveliness, but it was apparent when I finally got to meet you.  You were my kind of people.  Bright, passion-exploring, driven by growth and creativity, and with this amazing ability to express yourself through your writing.  And gutsy.  Hella gutsy.

Thank you for being part of my life these last 6 months.  And for sharing your life with our Tribe here at Stratejoy, in typical open and welcoming Doni-style.  It's been a joy to watch your journey and witness the loving way you interact with your world.  This is SO not goodbye.  It's a "see you soon" Northwest Neighbor.   To adventure!  Love with hugs, kisses, and dancing in the street, Molly]

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Ask Me Anything

posted 23rd January 2011    Written by: Lindsey    CATEGORY: Lindsey, Season 3

What do you miss most about being a child?
 Having a trampoline in my backyard. Oh man, that trampoline was my life. My neighbors had a trampoline too and we’d push them together and jump between the two (to the horror of my mother who was sure we’d break our necks with just one trampoline). I loved punching in the well-remembered phone numbers of my neighbors and simply saying “wanna play?” and then meeting at the tramps. Ahh, to play. It’s a way of life.

What’s on your bedside table?

Water

Skin stuff: Yes to Carrots Mango flavored lip balm. Badger balm. A roller applicator of Vitamin E (amazing). Spray bottle of tea tree oil & water – my favorite cooling mist. Coconut oil – best lotion ever.

A rock with the word “Peace” engraved into it, that my mom gave to me the Christmas before I left home 2 years ago. I take it with me everywhere.

Books (right now “The Expressiveness of the Body and The Divergence of Greek and Chinese Medicine” and my favorite raw food book “Fresh” that travels with me everywhere because of it’s small size and endless foodie inspiration.)

My journals

A 0.5 mm mechanical pencil. I go crazy for these. 0.7mm? Meh. And don’t even try to get me to write with a wooden pencil. Or a pen. I simply cannot do it.

When was the last time you were giddy with happiness, lost in one of those can’t-hold-back-a-smile kinda moments?

Hula hooping on a white sand beach at sunset, listening to my iPod, and leaping all over the place practicing new tricks.

What are you most looking forward to in the next 6 months?

Finding out where the hell I’m going to go next – my gypsy self is always interested in that! But also, a family vacation of snowboarding in Colorado this spring, and reuniting with friends.

What’s your hell like?

Eternity surrounded by pessimistic uninspired leeches, working 16 hours a day in a windowless office on an Excel spreadsheet on a Dell computer with a roller ball mouse, eating chicken flavored ramen noodles and Diet Coke for every meal. All while listening to only 90s alt-rock radio stations and staring at tantalizing dark chocolate bars that I’m not permitted to eat, ever.

What’s your heaven like?

Dark Chocolate Coconut Bliss in endless quantities, live bands playing on an outdoor stage, there’s a huge garden and tons of fruit trees, a beach not too far away and I can take a chairlift to the top of a mountain of untouched powdery snow and ride it all the way down to the beach. All my favorite people live here too!

What’s the biggest lesson you’re taking away from the past 6 months with Stratejoy / how has the experience changed you?

Community is everything. Six months ago I was so unsure of myself and I felt so alone. By sharing this online space with Molly, Doniree, Nikki, Marian, Renee, Alisha, and all the lovely commenters I found a place to be open and accountable with my goals and intentions, while admitting my fears and things that hold me back – which was something I generally avoid. Stratejoy is such a wonderful, amazing community, and I feel forever grateful that I’ve had the opportunity to grow & shine a little brighter here these past months, while connecting with so many amazing women.

What song lyrics fit your life, right now, at the beginning of this brand new year?

Hmm, most of the music I listen to is instrumental so this is a tough one. I’m sure there are a lot of songs about freedom and travel but I just can’t think of one. How about this, for my sailor girl self: “Yo ho ho and a bottle of water.”

If you had a time machine, what place and time would you travel to and why?

Definitely a time with dinosaurs. But my time machine would be something out of the Jetsons so I could fly all over and be relatively safe from the hazards, you know, I don’t want it to turn out like Jurassic Park.

What is something that not a lot of people know about you that you wish more people could know?

Ohhh. Tough one. Not many people know where I am, like, geographically. It’d be fun if my family or friends could not only know, but occasionally teleport themselves to my exact latitude and longitude.

What surprised you the most about 2010?

Everything. But, I guess, the most surprising part was everything I learned that I didn’t even know I needed to learn. In the beginning of the year I was all goal-oriented and ready for action, and all those goals withered as I had some major personal revelations and grew in whole new ways that I never expected to. Self-knowledge, self-care, self-love. It was a very self-centered year. And these lessons were invaluable in shaping me today and my plans for tomorrow.

What’s the best present you’ve ever received?

My Caprice! The Grandpa Cruiser! My wheels I got when I was sixteen. Technically, it was my parents car, and it went back to them when I went away to college and it couldn’t handle the constant cross-state commuting. It went out in a blaze of glory though – we sold it to a guy who entered it into a demolition derby. In my eyes, the only way that that era could end.

This picture was taken before the final damage was done. Oh! My poor baby!

Imagine your life was being made into a movie. What would the title be? Who would you pick to play you? What would the theme song be? How about the little trailer blurb for the advertisement?

“Hula Hoop Dreams” (My cremates told me this is what I should name my autobiography because I spend so much of my time hula hooping on the bow of the boat. What can I say, it’s a passion!) Starring Kirsten Dunst because she is my doppelgänger. The Theme Song would be Fort Knox by Goldfish because it’s peppy and groovy and my most favorite song to hoop to. The Trailer Blurb… oooohhh, I have to steal this from a crappy movie I just watched: “She’s a trip, but she’s no vacation.” (Har har har.)

Dream home?

Jungle Gym House! My friends have two huge couches pushed together in the center of their living room that they call “The Pit” – a fitting name for a large pit of pillows and blankets. We expanded the idea to an entire house that you can play all over. Wide open spaces, not much furniture (besides another version of the pit, lots of pillows and low tables). Space for yoga. A big garden. Fruit trees. A dope kitchen with lots of counter space, a gas stove, and a Vitamix blender. A big comfortable bed with lovely sheets and pillows. Definitely hammocks and swings. A big porch. And a fire pit outside with a nice patio. The house will be an old one that I fixed up myself using green construction methods and eco-friendly products. Or one built from the ground up. I dunno, it requires more planning and money still. But it will happen when I settle down one day, in a place as close to my heaven as I can get!

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Survey Time!

posted 22nd January 2011    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: All Posts, Creativity, Inspiration, Renee, Season 3, What I've Learned

1.    What do you miss most about being a child?
I’m not a person who longs for her childhood.  I mostly remember catty girls, crushes that went nowhere, and my parents’ divorce.  I think I always wanted to grow up.  But the one thing that reminds me of being a child is my Maltese, Holly. She was a gift from my grandfather when I was 2 and we had to put her down when I was 18. We grew up together and I miss her terribly.  I dream about her a lot still.  Whenever I see a little Maltese nowadays, my heart gets all fuzzy.  I don’t think I could ever adopt another one, because no one will replace my Holly dog, but I can’t imagine adopting anything other than a little tiny terrier.

2.   What’s on your bedside table?
A mess. A couple bottles of lotion, the controls for our electric blanket, a candle, an old issue of Real Simple, a lamp in the shape of the Eiffel tower, a stapler, a bunch of jewelry I take off before bed, and a glass of water. Oh, and a clock/radio that makes weird noises when our phones are too close to it, so we just keep it unplugged. Awesome.

3.    When was the last time you were giddy with happiness, lost in one of those can’t-hold-back-a-smile kinda moments?
I was baking Christmas cookies and had the house all to myself. I turned up the Christmas tunes and when “All I Want For Christmas is You” came on, I went full-on Risky Business–dancing in my socks, sliding around our wood floors, singing to my cat (who was extremely unimpressed).  Of course, a glass of merlot was involved, but it was unadulterated joy. The cookies turned out pretty great, too!

4.    What are you most looking forward to in the next 6 months? (Besides reading awesome Season IV Bloggers!)
My husband and I are traveling quite a bit in May. My sister-in-law is graduating, so we’re flying out to Tacoma, WA to see her commencement, then we have a wedding in Charlotte, NC the next weekend… so we decided to fly from Washington to North Carolina in the middle of the week. It’s our vacation for the year, so hopefully we’ll get some alone time, even though we’ll be staying with friends.

5.       What’s your hell like?
I would have an incurable runny nose in hell. I would be eternally washing dishes with my high school PE teacher while we listen to the dulcet tones of a bad children’s choir. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I would be forced to eat black licorice. Also, it would be snowing a lot.

6.       What’s your heaven like?
A plate of warm rice krispy treats would meet me at the pearly gates and my cozy home would have a built-in tap for all varieties of Leinenkugel’s beer. I can order breakfast any time at heaven’s diner where I share pancakes once a week with Mary Tyler Moore, Gloria Steinem, JFK, and Mother Teresa. My closet is filled with amazing boots and sweaters from Anthropologie. Private concerts on the beach are held nightly, with rotating sets from Josh Groban, Barenaked Ladies, Sarah Bareilles, and the original Broadway cast of Phantom of the Opera.

7.    What’s the biggest lesson you’re taking away from the past 6 months with Stratejoy / how has the experience changed you?
Blogging for Stratejoy was the perfect extension of the Joy Equation. This gig forced me to sit down once a week and examine some of life’s big questions whether I wanted to or not. And that’s an amazing gift.

8.    What song lyrics fit your life, right now, at the beginning of this brand new year?
“It’s been a long December and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.” – Counting Crows, my first cassette tape bought with my own money

9.     If you had a time machine, what place and time would you travel to and why?
I would travel to New York City in the 1960s. I’d become either a journalist or a flight attendant. I would be at the forefront of the feminist movement while experiencing all the incredibly fashions of that era. Also, the Beatles.  Yes.

10.    What is something that not a lot of people know about you that you wish more people could know?
I’m a really good cook, but only my husband knows that.  Also, I was voted Most Musically Talented and Best Thespian in high school.  Also also, I do a fantastic Sarah Palin impression, but she only comes around at parties.

11.     What surprised you the most about 2010?
Grad school and my ability to apply myself more than I ever thought possible. Furthermore, the opportunity to teach a couple undergrad courses and how that has uncovered a passion I never knew I had.

12.     What’s the best present you’ve ever received?
For my 24th birthday, my husband bought me a brand new Schwinn cruiser that I’ve named Lady Jane. She’s beautiful: peach in color, detailed with purple and red flowers. I’ve added a basket, too. I ride her to work in the summer, which has garnered quite the fan club. The boss’s brother said, “That bike makes me want to be a woman!”

13.      Imagine your life was being made into a movie. What would the title be? Who would you pick to play you? What would the theme song be? How about the little trailer blurb for the advertisement?
My movie, Tenacity, would star Tina Fey. All the critics would be impressed to see Tina turning over a new leaf, no longer stuck in a Liz Lemon character, but finally realizing her dreams and going after them with tenacity. Of course, she does so with biting sarcasm and fantastic comebacks. It would be Ms. Norbury’s version of Mean Girls, complete with wacky students that she challenges to participate in speech competitions, but we would also see her home life where she never cleans and talks to her cat a lot.  Jason Robert Brown, my favorite Broadway composer, would compose the score and write an incredible ballad that I would record personally for the radio.

14.      Dream Job?  Dream Home?  Dream Vacation?
Me: “What’s my dream job?”
Husband: “I thought you wanted your own travel show.”
Me: “Ooohhh, yeah, that is my dream job.”
Husband: “You could be the female version of Anthony Bourdain.”
Me: “Nice. I am pretty acerbic.”
Husband: “Yeah.”
Me: “You weren’t supposed to agree with that.”

Dream job: A travel show that allows me to eat a TON of seafood and ice cream and stay in incredible beachfront hotel rooms and meet intriguing people and go to fancy award shows in pretty gowns.
Dream home: An old house in a historic neighborhood with lots of character and bold colored walls. Multiple fireplaces. Exposed brick. A basement bar. My own office/library. Lots of windows for sunlight. Tons of counter space in a giant kitchen. A backyard vegetable garden. Located within walking or biking distance of shops, bars, restaurants, and cafes.
Dream vacation: Free. Sunshine. Margaritas. Spa day. Gourmet food. Snorkeling.

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