Category: Renee

What I’ve Learned

posted 29th January 2011    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Creativity, Inspiration, Life Lesson, Renee, Season 3

I’ve been Stratejoying for six months. Six whole months. Can you believe it?

If you had told me two years ago that I would be writing for a Quarterlife Crisis blog while starting my first semester of grad school, I would have thought you were nuts. Or at least talking about someone else. Quarterlife crisis? Not me. Of course not. I had my ducks in a row.

We all know that having your ducks in a row does not make a blueprint for life. Stratejoy taught me that. And more importantly, it taught me that that is okay… encouraged, even.

My time as a Stratejoy blogger gave me the courage to write my truth and the confidence to live my truth. In the last six months, I have felt more fulfilled, more authentic, and more Renee than I have ever been. I’ve discovered things about myself that I wouldn’t have had the guts to do without my amazing Stratejoy and blogging community behind me, encouraging me every step of the way.

I’ve become more honest in my writing but that has translated into my public and private spheres as well. I’ve learned to quell the complaining. I’ve learned to enjoy the moment. I’ve learned to appreciate every day and every opportunity that has come my way.

To all of you who have followed along, who have read my posts, who have contributed to discussions, and who have followed me to my personal blog and Twitter- I thank you. I thank you for being ears when I needed them, but most importantly, for validating my story. That’s the most important thing a supportive community can do. I came to you, spilled my guts, shared my dreams and fears, and you validated my story. It’s truly inspiring. Please keep in touch.

To my fellow Season 3 Bloggers- You’re all an inspiration. From you all, I’ve learned what it means to be a strong, authentic, struggling woman. I’ve learned from you how to own it and how to own up to it. Alisha, you inspire me to always keep looking for myself. Doni, you inspire me to share the details of my life. Nikki, you inspire me to make my dreams reality. Lindsey, you inspire me to never give up on my life list. Marian, you inspire me to believe in myself. And Molly…. you just inspire me. I’m so grateful to call these women my friends.

Adios, Stratejoy. It’s been real.

[Note from the Coach:  Renee.  Damn girl- you know I love you.  :) Remember when we met in Chicago and it was like, what? I haven't met you before?  Some part of me has always just recognized some part of you.  From feminist literature, to performing, to speaking your mind regardless of the consequences- it's true love...  And I'm so honored and thrilled and really sincerely happy that you were part of Stratejoy these last 6 months.

Thank you for carrying off this commitment and community, while rocking things in your own world.  Your writing is gorgeous, but better yet, so are you.  And your journey?  Amazing.  I truly admire how you own up to what's working, what's not, and then do something about it with grace and courage.  You're an inspiration.  Don't be a stranger, okay?  Huge freakin' love,  Molly]

{Photo Credit: Erin Parker Photography}

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Survey Time!

posted 22nd January 2011    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: All Posts, Creativity, Inspiration, Renee, Season 3, What I've Learned

1.    What do you miss most about being a child?
I’m not a person who longs for her childhood.  I mostly remember catty girls, crushes that went nowhere, and my parents’ divorce.  I think I always wanted to grow up.  But the one thing that reminds me of being a child is my Maltese, Holly. She was a gift from my grandfather when I was 2 and we had to put her down when I was 18. We grew up together and I miss her terribly.  I dream about her a lot still.  Whenever I see a little Maltese nowadays, my heart gets all fuzzy.  I don’t think I could ever adopt another one, because no one will replace my Holly dog, but I can’t imagine adopting anything other than a little tiny terrier.

2.   What’s on your bedside table?
A mess. A couple bottles of lotion, the controls for our electric blanket, a candle, an old issue of Real Simple, a lamp in the shape of the Eiffel tower, a stapler, a bunch of jewelry I take off before bed, and a glass of water. Oh, and a clock/radio that makes weird noises when our phones are too close to it, so we just keep it unplugged. Awesome.

3.    When was the last time you were giddy with happiness, lost in one of those can’t-hold-back-a-smile kinda moments?
I was baking Christmas cookies and had the house all to myself. I turned up the Christmas tunes and when “All I Want For Christmas is You” came on, I went full-on Risky Business–dancing in my socks, sliding around our wood floors, singing to my cat (who was extremely unimpressed).  Of course, a glass of merlot was involved, but it was unadulterated joy. The cookies turned out pretty great, too!

4.    What are you most looking forward to in the next 6 months? (Besides reading awesome Season IV Bloggers!)
My husband and I are traveling quite a bit in May. My sister-in-law is graduating, so we’re flying out to Tacoma, WA to see her commencement, then we have a wedding in Charlotte, NC the next weekend… so we decided to fly from Washington to North Carolina in the middle of the week. It’s our vacation for the year, so hopefully we’ll get some alone time, even though we’ll be staying with friends.

5.       What’s your hell like?
I would have an incurable runny nose in hell. I would be eternally washing dishes with my high school PE teacher while we listen to the dulcet tones of a bad children’s choir. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I would be forced to eat black licorice. Also, it would be snowing a lot.

6.       What’s your heaven like?
A plate of warm rice krispy treats would meet me at the pearly gates and my cozy home would have a built-in tap for all varieties of Leinenkugel’s beer. I can order breakfast any time at heaven’s diner where I share pancakes once a week with Mary Tyler Moore, Gloria Steinem, JFK, and Mother Teresa. My closet is filled with amazing boots and sweaters from Anthropologie. Private concerts on the beach are held nightly, with rotating sets from Josh Groban, Barenaked Ladies, Sarah Bareilles, and the original Broadway cast of Phantom of the Opera.

7.    What’s the biggest lesson you’re taking away from the past 6 months with Stratejoy / how has the experience changed you?
Blogging for Stratejoy was the perfect extension of the Joy Equation. This gig forced me to sit down once a week and examine some of life’s big questions whether I wanted to or not. And that’s an amazing gift.

8.    What song lyrics fit your life, right now, at the beginning of this brand new year?
“It’s been a long December and there’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.” – Counting Crows, my first cassette tape bought with my own money

9.     If you had a time machine, what place and time would you travel to and why?
I would travel to New York City in the 1960s. I’d become either a journalist or a flight attendant. I would be at the forefront of the feminist movement while experiencing all the incredibly fashions of that era. Also, the Beatles.  Yes.

10.    What is something that not a lot of people know about you that you wish more people could know?
I’m a really good cook, but only my husband knows that.  Also, I was voted Most Musically Talented and Best Thespian in high school.  Also also, I do a fantastic Sarah Palin impression, but she only comes around at parties.

11.     What surprised you the most about 2010?
Grad school and my ability to apply myself more than I ever thought possible. Furthermore, the opportunity to teach a couple undergrad courses and how that has uncovered a passion I never knew I had.

12.     What’s the best present you’ve ever received?
For my 24th birthday, my husband bought me a brand new Schwinn cruiser that I’ve named Lady Jane. She’s beautiful: peach in color, detailed with purple and red flowers. I’ve added a basket, too. I ride her to work in the summer, which has garnered quite the fan club. The boss’s brother said, “That bike makes me want to be a woman!”

13.      Imagine your life was being made into a movie. What would the title be? Who would you pick to play you? What would the theme song be? How about the little trailer blurb for the advertisement?
My movie, Tenacity, would star Tina Fey. All the critics would be impressed to see Tina turning over a new leaf, no longer stuck in a Liz Lemon character, but finally realizing her dreams and going after them with tenacity. Of course, she does so with biting sarcasm and fantastic comebacks. It would be Ms. Norbury’s version of Mean Girls, complete with wacky students that she challenges to participate in speech competitions, but we would also see her home life where she never cleans and talks to her cat a lot.  Jason Robert Brown, my favorite Broadway composer, would compose the score and write an incredible ballad that I would record personally for the radio.

14.      Dream Job?  Dream Home?  Dream Vacation?
Me: “What’s my dream job?”
Husband: “I thought you wanted your own travel show.”
Me: “Ooohhh, yeah, that is my dream job.”
Husband: “You could be the female version of Anthony Bourdain.”
Me: “Nice. I am pretty acerbic.”
Husband: “Yeah.”
Me: “You weren’t supposed to agree with that.”

Dream job: A travel show that allows me to eat a TON of seafood and ice cream and stay in incredible beachfront hotel rooms and meet intriguing people and go to fancy award shows in pretty gowns.
Dream home: An old house in a historic neighborhood with lots of character and bold colored walls. Multiple fireplaces. Exposed brick. A basement bar. My own office/library. Lots of windows for sunlight. Tons of counter space in a giant kitchen. A backyard vegetable garden. Located within walking or biking distance of shops, bars, restaurants, and cafes.
Dream vacation: Free. Sunshine. Margaritas. Spa day. Gourmet food. Snorkeling.

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Inspirational (fictional) Women

posted 15th January 2011    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Life Lesson, Renee, Season 3

Who inspires me? You might expect me to say Hillary Clinton or Elizabeth Gilbert or Mother Teresa. And, yes, those women are inspiring… but that’s not the kind of inspiration I want to focus on.

It’s winter break for me as I write this. That means I’ve been spending a lot of quality time with myself. You may ask, “What does Renee do with her quality time?” I’ll tell you: I watch a LOT of television.

Now, I don’t mean I plop down in front of the TV and numb myself with Jersey Shore marathons. You see, I’m working towards a degree in mass media and feminism… so I spend my time watching critically acclaimed shows on Netflix.  Last winter, I watched all of The West Wing.  Over the summer, I watched Weeds.  This fall, I’ve been addicted to Friday Night Lights. Over this break, I have discovered Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Netflix tells me I enjoy quirky shows with strong female leads. No shit, Sherlock.  The truth is, I find the women in these shows incredibly inspirational. I could practically write a thesis on how Friday Night Lights is one of the most feminist shows I’ve ever had the pleasure of watching.  Tami Taylor, the coach’s wife, is one of my favorite characters of all time.  And C.J. Cregg of The West Wing? I want to BE her. I mean, she was the President’s Chief of Staff! Perhaps Nancy Botwin of Weeds isn’t the picture-perfect Mom of the Year, but she gets shit done, doesn’t she? She doesn’t take no for an answer. ‘Atta girl. As for Buffy? Well, homegirl speaks for herself. She could whip Edward Cullen’s ass any day of the week. Blindfolded.

My point is, television doesn’t necessarily rot your brain. If you look, there are really inspirational women and incredible role models out there doing exactly what they set out to do. Maybe they’re fictional, maybe their roles are primarily written by men, and maybe they’re not getting book deals or speaking at college commencements, but there’s something to be said for a strong woman on television. They remind us that life is messy but simply by nature of being a woman, they have the strength and will to rise above it.

I look to Tami Taylor, Tyra Collette, C.J. Cregg, Abbey Bartlet, Nancy Botwin, Buffy and Willow to teach me how to be a strong, competent, kick-ass woman. And I’m not ashamed to admit it.

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Yes.

posted 8th January 2011    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Family, Life Lesson, Renee, Season 3

Right now, right at this very moment, I’m grateful for my soft couch, my space heater, my fleece blanket, and my giant supply of tea to get me through this cold.  But most of all, throughout my life, I’ve always been grateful for the opportunities I’ve had. In my 24 years, I’ve done some pretty cool things.   I’m grateful that my parents always supported me, emotionally and financially growing up. And now that I’m on my own, I’m grateful that my husband supports even my wildest decisions and ideas.

I’m grateful that I can talk about “the time I lived in Italy” and “when Chelsea Clinton and I hung out” and “my first semester of grad school.”  These are experiences that have shaped me and helped me become who I’ve become. I’m grateful for all these incredible opportunities that allow me to become authentically me. Without them, I would be boring, I’m sure.

My parents always did everything they could to support me and ensure I had opportunities and took advantage of them. They pushed me in all the right directions without actually pushing. When I asked to go on the class trip to Washington, DC in the 7th grade, they said yes. When I wanted to see Miss Saigon in Chicago for my birthday, they said yes. When I wanted to apply to only one college, they said yes. When I asked to take Italian and maybe study abroad, they said yes. When I told them I found the guy I wanted to marry, they said yes. It was rare for my parents to tell me I couldn’t experience the world the way I wanted. And for that, I am very, very grateful.

Now I don’t need my parents to give me permission. They still support all my decisions, but now it’s my turn to tell myself YES. I don’t do it nearly enough and it’s something I’ll work on in the new year. But telling yourself yes means giving yourself opportunity.

So my wish to you in the new year is to let yourself be. Give yourself experiences and opportunities. Take advantage of the decisions around you. Say yes.

{photo credit: Wonderlane}

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Why Should Resolutions Come Only Once a Year?

posted 1st January 2011    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Renee, Season 3

You heard it here first: I’m going to start running this spring. I say “this spring” because I know myself and I know there’s no way in hell I’ll start running in the dead of Chicago winter. But this spring, when the ground starts the thaw, I’ll strap on some new shoes, I’ll brace my knee if I have to, I’ll flip on some offensive rap music, and I’ll hit the pavement.  I know it’s not going to be easy at first. I know I won’t be able to actually run far. But I can already tell this is going to be the best way to release energy and stress. After a semester of grad school, my body is craving some kind of outlet… so far it’s been wine, but that doesn’t get rid of the ache in my shoulders from sitting at my desk for 14 hours.

Truly, this is my one goal for 2011. I’m not the type to set New Year’s Resolutions; I set resolutions throughout the year. If I want something, I go for it. I don’t wait until January 1 rolls around.  I think that’s kind of silly.  But this year, the running bug hit me as the temperature started to drop. So I said to myself, “Self, next spring, you’re putting one of those paychecks to good use. Self, you’re gonna invest in a pair of shoes and some UnderArmor and you’re going to start to run. You hear me, Self?”

I talk to myself like that, for realsies.

The long days, the sugary coffee drinks, the “treating myself with nachos” is starting to catch up with me. It’s not that I feel fat; I have my days but 85% of the time I’m pretty happy with how my body looks. I just feel blah. I feel frumpy and lazy and globby… I feel like I need to get out of my desk chair and blow off some steam.

This probably comes as a surprise to anyone who knows me and anyone who has ever heard me say, “Oh, I don’t exercise. I hate it.” Or “I only run if I’m being chased.” But there was a time in my life when I could run a mile in under 6:30. Okay, I was 14 years old, BUT STILL. If I could do it then, I can do it now.

I don’t have bright-eyed plans to be in a marathon. That’s not realistic yet. Maybe I’ll try that Couch to 5k program everyone raves about. But this plan has nothing to do with competing with anyone else in any kind of race. It’s about me and how I feel.

So, if I were the type to make New Year’s Resolutions, this would be it. But I’m not that kinda girl, so instead I’m telling myself simply that next spring, I’m going to be a runner.

{photo credit: joshjanssen}

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