Category: Tips & Tools

Facing Anxiety and Stressful Days

posted 10th December 2011    Written by: Elyse    CATEGORY: All Posts, Elyse, Inspiration, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

There are many days where I am anxious and extremely stressed whether it is about finances, work, family issues, or any other number of concerns. Everyone has days like this, but for me, these feelings operate on a whole other level because I have an anxiety disorder.

My extreme anxiety has led to depression, panic attacks, insomnia, weight loss, weight gain, and other symptoms that make it hard to lead a productive life on those days. I am on medication for the anxiety which has made my life so much easier day-to-day, but I still have a few really bad days.

I know I won’t always be anxiety-free, even on medication, because anxiety is a natural part of our human nature. But, I’ve been working on strategies for years to help cope on those freak-out days. My newest anxiety-fighter has been yoga. I took advantage of a yoga Groupon, and the difference has been incredible. I feel calmer, move a lot smoother, and generally feel physically good.

Tea is one of my quick fixes. Something about a good cup of tea really makes me slow down, take a deep breath and just sip. It is warm, comforting and easy to have at any time. I keep tea in my desk at work and drink bedtime tea before bed. I also take 20.  This means whenever I feel myself getting worked up, I immediately stop what I’m doing (if possible) and take a 20 minute break. Sometimes this means taking a walk, but it can also be locking myself in a dark room and laying on the floor for 20 minutes. It really depends on how I’m feeling or where I am, but that 20 minutes is just for me and immediately calms me.

If I can’t immediately stop what I’m doing to take 20, I will put headphones on and listen to calming music. It usually makes the task I’m working on a lot easier.  If I have just a free moment, I will read one of my favorite quotes. There are some I enjoy for their humor, some for their insight, and some for their motivation. Some of my favorites I read over and over:

Do I contradict myself?
Very well then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
-Walt Whitman

“I guess I could be be pretty pissed off about
what happened to me.. but it’s hard to stay mad, when there’s so much beauty in the world.
Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it all at once,
and it’s too much,
my heart fills up like a balloon
thats about to burst..
And then I remember to relax,
and stop trying to hold on to it,
and then it flows through me like rain
and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life..”
-American Beauty

I took a deep breath and listened to the old bray of my heart.
I am.
I am.
I am.
-Sylvia Plath

Sometimes just reading them brings a calmness to my anxious brain.

Dealing with my anxiety has never been easy, but I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I appreciate the motivation that can come with stress, but I understand how important it is for my well-being to take care of myself mentally.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

{Photo Credit: Slazebni}

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Breaking Free of Poverty Mindset – Here’s to My New Money Shoes

posted 1st December 2011    Written by: Dusti    CATEGORY: All Posts, Dusti, Job/Career/Work, Money, Season 5, Tips & Tools

“What we really want to do is what we are really meant to do. When we do what we are meant to do, money comes to us, doors open for us, we feel useful, and the work we do feels like play to us.” – Julia Cameron

Money hasn’t been an easy subject for me for a long time. When I was a kid, I was a saver. But my mom would “borrow” my money, so I learned to spend it when I had it.

Now, I owe $30,000 in student loan debt, due to start being paid back in June. And a baby due February 29th. As you can imagine, “I got my mind on the money, and the money on my mind.”

I even had this (stupid, stupid) idea that would have allowed me to spend the year justifying making a limited amount of income. If that isn’t self-sabotage, I don’t know what is.

Earlier this year, I was talking to a couple of friends who had already broken the 6-figure boundary the year before. It was crazy to thin they were doing things not so different than what I was doing – they were just doing them on a bigger, more frequent scale. They were pursuing their dreams – but they knew their dreams had dollar amounts attached to them. But it all seemed so far out of reach. I couldn’t imagine $30K a year, let alone adding an extra zero.

As a would-be entrepreneur, I knew I had to do better if I wanted to make a living doing what I loved. But how? Where the heck do you even start when your perception of money is so warped? A friend said it best – “Your people like you. They want to see you succeed.”

Talking with Molly cemented it. She recommended Overcoming Underearning and I Will Teach You To Be Rich – and I pass that recommendation on to you! Ramit’s tips are solid gold. (Heh.) And Barbara’s are great, too – especially if your problems with money stems from a fear of failure (or success).

My financial goals for next year are ambitious and exciting. Now, I know I deserve to earn more than minimum wage. I’ve got skills! Even more than that, I have the confidence to know I’m worth more.

Danielle LaPorte talks about your money shoes – you can only earn what you’re comfortable with. And $50,000 is a very comfortable starting point for me these days. My goal for my business next year: Breaking the big $100K.

One hundred thousand dollars. $100,000. A hundred G’s.

When I imagine my life, I think about how exciting it will be to pay off my student loans. Zero debt. Automating my bills and savings. Having savings. Starting a retirement fund. Donating to causes I believe in! Visiting France. Ooh la la!

When I close my eyes, I can picture myself doing each one of these things with elegance and joy.

This past year, my business made more than I’ve ever made in a year before. And I’ve only been in business – really – since June. That feels sooo good. To know that I can do what I love, make an amount of money I’m comfortable with, and not be afraid of wealth anymore – those are some pretty sexy money shoes.

What about you? How is your perception of money treating you?

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Money & Me

posted 18th November 2011    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: Job/Career/Work, Kristen, Life Lesson, Money, Season 5, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

After completing the Joy Plan this past June, I had a conversation with someone about what came up as my core values ( FYI: family, leadership, independence, honesty, enlightenment, enjoyment, love, and strength). After I explained what each of those meant to me, he said, “You don’t value money?” I told him while I needed it to pay bills, I didn’t value money. After a debate ensued about his idea that needing money meant the same as valuing it, I started to think differently about my relationship with my finances and Kat’s post had me thinking even more.

Yes I need money. And yes, I’d definitely like to have more of it now. As I move into a life sans a plus one to add to the monthly income, money is a topic frequently on my mind. I like to have electricity and to pay student loans so no one comes and tries to take me out at the knees. And yes I’d even like having some extra money so I can go on trips or a fun night out with my girlfriends.

But if tomorrow the government decided the bartering system was coming back, I would sign up immediately. Not just because money, balancing my checkbook and making a budget makes my head spin (I’m a historian for a reason– math isn’t my bag baby). I could barter for my gas bill with some very delicious baked goods. Grappling with the dollars and cents each month is tough and unless I am willing to make some huge changes in my life or win the lottery, it won’t be changing any time soon. But my attitude towards it can.

For me, it comes down to worth. My time, my value. I love my job and I would do it for free (I practically do at this rate anyway!)But honestly I find so much more pleasure in doing meaningful work than I do in the amount of funds it brings into my bank account. Some of you might think this is an incredibly naive way of thinking (and at times I might even agree with you), but thinking this way about life and money has helped keep me sane in grown up financial land. Long gone are the days when getting mail meant chain letters, pen pals, or care packages at college. Now the sound of the closing mailbox door is like that of impending doom and the heavy weight of the bills that sit inside. It’s frustrating at times of course- postdating checks so your account won’t overdraft or having to wait to buy something until it goes on sale (hello Ben & Jerry’s 2 for $5 sale =score!)

As I’ve embarked on my new singleton lifestyle, I’ve been thinking and tracking where my money is actually going every month. I’ve used mint.com which does all the hard work for you and I keep track in a little ledger book too. It has been relatively easy to adjust my budget properly and be able to pay my bills on time. I’m not saying it isn’t tight and that I’m not trying to find freelance writing opportunities where I can, but I feel like I have a good handle on my money reality. Thinking about it in a different way has been the thing that really has helped me come to terms with not having a whole lot of it. Because what’s the worst that can happen? I go bankrupt. I would still have my health, my family & friends.  I am thankful that I am able to put away a tiny amount of money into savings and for retirement while still being able to make the bills every month. If I pay the minimum on my student loans from undergrad and grad school, I won’t be done until 2032, probably around the time any potential children of mine will go to college. Despite those long years of debt, I wouldn’t trade the education and experiences I had from those six years for any amount of money.

Having a tight budget and shifting my thinking is also making me think differently about how I spend my time. I would often spend most afternoons and nights after work running around to buy things because they were on sale or because I had a coupon, even if it was something I did not really need. While I still employ the buy only on sale and/or with coupon, I only buy what is absolutely essential. This saves money as well as the amount of stuff coming into the house, but it also saves my time and gives me the time I need for the things that I want to be doing. Now when I run errands, I try to batch them all together in one block of time to be more efficient and then allow myself the opportunity to have the rest of the day or night for whatever will bring me joy.

I’ve made some other changes- I’m trying to only buy things with cash and use the credit card for real emergencies only. I canceled cable, though once Red Sox season starts again, I’ll need to find friends or spend a lot of time at my Mom and Dad’s house watching games since the alternative is watching at bars which will be counterproductive to the saving money initiative. Canceling cable is also going to allow me to focus on my goals of writing more, attacking my reading list, yoga, and spending time with the people I love to be around. And it’s going to make me think about what I actually want to be doing because I won’t have the crutch of mindless hours of TV watching. It’s only been one day so don’t congratulate me yet on this action item—I might end up at my parent’s more nights than not to get a fix!

With the holiday season coming up, I know I will be frustrated that I cannot provide the things I want for everyone on my gift giving list, but I’m really excited to write letters, make gifts, and a few other surprises for them that will show how much they mean to me, especially over the tumultuous last year. I’ve never been the most crafty person, but I’m doing a lot of new and different things that I never thought I was capable of before, so I am excited to push myself again. Whatever I create will be an awesome expression of love for them (and potentially something to laugh at for years to come, depending on the outcome!), and my gratitude and immense adoration for them is something money could never buy.

 

[Photo Credit: My budget & ledger]

 

 

 

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The Council: Holiday Edition

posted 15th November 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Molly, Stratejoy the Biz, Tips & Tools

Last spring I got to know 40+ of you through a little party we called The Council*.  Guess what?  It’s back, even better than last time!

I’m not going to put out a huge pitch about the Council or spend a lot of time trying to sell you on this, because it’s not that kind of thing.  If it’s for you – amazing!  I can’t wait to get to know some of you on a more personal level- to interact with you on more day-to-day basis for 21 solid, rockin’ days while we wrap up 2011 and starting dreaming and scheming for 2012.

*And yes, if you did The Council in the spring, you can totally do this one!  Brand new material and even some new surprises!

The Stratejoy Council

council: An group of persons called together for consultation, deliberation, or discussion.

Yes! Our Council will be addressing the juiciest issues that come up during the end of the year and the Holidays in an inspiring and useful way.  It will be a safe place for learning, sharing, and growing. With typical Stratejoy moxie, energy, and honesty of course!

What does The Council include?

**Three 60 minute Training Teleseminars on Tuesdays at 5:30 PST, 6:30 MST, 7:30 CST, 8:30 EST. The calls will be recorded for those of you who can’t make the live calls & still want to be involved.

**Follow-up Challenges & Exercises To Be Completed During our Time Apart. No more than 2 hours a week of challenges, ’cause we’re all busy women.  I’m even making art filled worksheets for you to  savor 2011, set intentions for 2012, and really plot out the kind of year you’re craving.

**A Secret Facebook Community where the Council can gather to report on the challenges, share roadblocks, and celebrate success together. This is a really fun part of our weeks together! It’s where we’ll connect with each other on a personal basis and offer support, laughter, and stories of our own experiences.  The Group Page will go live on November 28th and end on December 19th.  And yes, I will be ACTIVELY involved in the page.  (And the even bigger question: Yes, this means we’ll get to be Facebook Friends and you can stalk all my old wedding, backpacking, drinking night out pictures.  Don’t judge me, okay?!)

**Loads of Love to your Inbox.  You’ll get an email on each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday during the council with some visual inspiration and a 30 minute audio recording interview with a Gutsy Girl about how she approaches goal setting/resolutions/manifesting/big dreaming.   9 sweet emails + 6 motivating interviews to keep your energy up, provide some accountability, and help you stay grounded during the pre-Holiday craze.

Who will I be interviewing?   Jenny Blake.  Nicole Antoinette.  Kate Northrup.  Kyla Roma.  Chelsea of Chelsea Talks Smack. Alexandra Franzen.  Ev’Yan.  And then that’s just me in dark sunglasses filling a empty spot in the collage.  I’m the one doing the interviewing…

REGISTRATION

REGISTRATION IS CLOSED FOR THIS ROUND OF THE COUNCIL. That said, keep your eyes peeled for a New Years Package to get your hands on the recordings & worksheets!

Investment: Because this Council is going to require a significant amount of my time, I can’t offer it for free.  I thought about it, but it just wouldn’t make sense! But I can offer it at the most affordable option possible as a huge THANK YOU for being part of the Tribe.

It’s $49 for everything.  I hope that price makes you happy!! I truly hope it’s something you want to do for YOU and for an ushering in an amazing 2012.

When you sign up for your course, you’ll get an receipt from PayPal telling you that you’re all set.  I’ll be sending out the welcome email with instructions for the calls and more details on Monday the 28th. In the meantime — after you register, friend me on Facebook so I can invite you to the secret group!  If you need anything before the 28th, just reach out sugar.

Let me know you’re joining us — Ping me on Twitter and use the hashtag #joycouncil!  We can meet each other there while we wait for the 28th to arrive.

QUESTIONS?  Comment away!

XOXO

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Museum Rock Star Kate MacIntosh

posted 28th October 2011    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Kristen, Life Lesson, Season 5, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

The first time I saw Kate MacIntosh was at a New England Museum conference in November 2010 when she was presenting a session on the use of contemporary art at historic sites. This past January, I had the chance to meet Kate and pick her brain about the topic when we both went on a field trip for the Boston Emerging Museum Professionals. Her love of museums, art, and educating and engaging visitors is a much needed and awesome contribution to the field, but more importantly, I think she is one of the coolest people I have ever met.

Kate is one of those folks who takes an idea and runs with it. She is a true leader in every sense of the word, taking risks and making her opinions known. I chose to interview her for this post because while her particular focus in career is museums and art, her ideas about life and going after what you want is something that so many people, no matter the field you work in, can take some cues from.

Kate currently works as an independent museum professional, which might be one of the toughest fields in the current state of the economy.  In addition to her work helping historic sites integrate contemporary art into their interpretation, she also works as a teaching assistant at the Harvard Extension School in Cambridge, where she earned her Master’s Degree in 2010.

What makes her awesome at what she does is her passion for art, history, and museums. Kate says, “I love working for smaller museums, because every day is different and requires me to use different skills and abilities, and apply myself in ways I may have never considered or tried.  The ability to wear “multiple hats” keeps me motivated, challenged, and excited about what I am doing. Having been laid off from a past museum position, and knowing others who have been as well, I fear what the field is facing, and where museums may head without attention, intervention, and a reevaluation of their relevancy and futures.”

That passion stems from working in the museum field for the past seven years, as well as her background as an artist herself. Her undergrad thesis work was  “life-sized paper doll outfits exploring different aspects of my personality.  I’ve built on this concept, and recently wove a three-dimensional, wearable, paper dress out of ‘Vogue’ magazine pages, and red, white, and black paper.  The dress was installed on a mannequin in the window of a local gallery, and the installation also included a shopping cart and harajuku-inspired groceries.” She uses fashion magazines and blogs to provide inspiration for her sculptural art creations. Her work as an artist and her museum work allows Kate to cross the divide with contemporary artists and historic sites- she has helped facilitate some really awesome projects ( check out her site here) and I know she will continue to do this on a larger scale as her career grows.

I admire Kate not just because of her take charge attitude and making a name for herself in the museum world at the early stage of her career, but also because she has an awesome spirit.  She says, “Laughing often is key, and definitely brings me great joy.  There are times to be serious, but I really try to focus on a ‘turn that frown upside down’ approach to things.  I have learned to try to surround myself with others who like to have fun, and try to make time to be with those friends, family, and colleagues on a regular basis. Breaking out into song and dance also helps.  Whether this is something I do with others (usually to my own embarrassment) or by myself (while singing in the car), it helps shake off the serious of life and clear the way for whatever is next.”

A die hard Bruins fan, Kate’s perfect day is “ waking up (not too early), coffee and a fashion magazine or book, working on a sculptural dress or installation elements for a few hours, and heading to a hockey game; can we add not having to wake up too early the next day?  More like a perfect 24+ hours!” She also has great taste in music, which is her cure for those blah gross days. Kate says, “Playing really, really loud music in the car and singing (even if it means making up the lyrics because I don’t know the real ones) while driving helps on blue days.  It is nice to let it all go, and nothing helps more than a song like “I’m Just a Girl” by No Doubt or “Date with the Night” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.”

I asked Kate what her advice to a bright eyed 22 year old just out of college would be. She said,

“Put yourself first in all decisions, and take risks when there is more to gain than lose.  Putting yourself first in all decisions (something I was not very good at, and am still working on now) will help you to never say in the future, “what if.”  Taking risks is crucial, as it will help you discover the real you. Too scared of risks?  I use the pro/con list method; if there is more to gain from taking the risk than to lose, jump in.  If you find there are more cons, maybe it is not the right risk to get you where you want to be.”

Seriously something I’m going to consider more for sure!

The rest of 2011 is filled with a lot of excitement for Kate. Last year she started a bucket list that she is slowly knocking items off, while at the same time adding new challenges as she grows and learns. A big goal on her list is to visit a museum or historic site in every state in the country (something her and I share). She’s pushing ahead towards her dream goal of working as a curator at MoMA in NYC by doing consulting for museums and some writing projects for blogs.

Kate is not only is she amazing at what she does, she is the kind of fun girl you want to have around. One of the best times in the past few months I have had was a week in May when we both were at the national museum conference in Houston. She also has one of the best wardrobes ever!

This is why I admire Kate: she has an idea, a passion, and she is pursuing it to the fullest ability she can in order to live her most joyful and authentic voice. And if that’s not rock star status, I don’t know what is.

[Photo Credit: From Kate's Facebook, photo by Leslie!]

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