Category: Tips & Tools

Money & Me

posted 18th November 2011    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: Job/Career/Work, Kristen, Life Lesson, Money, Season 5, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

After completing the Joy Plan this past June, I had a conversation with someone about what came up as my core values ( FYI: family, leadership, independence, honesty, enlightenment, enjoyment, love, and strength). After I explained what each of those meant to me, he said, “You don’t value money?” I told him while I needed it to pay bills, I didn’t value money. After a debate ensued about his idea that needing money meant the same as valuing it, I started to think differently about my relationship with my finances and Kat’s post had me thinking even more.

Yes I need money. And yes, I’d definitely like to have more of it now. As I move into a life sans a plus one to add to the monthly income, money is a topic frequently on my mind. I like to have electricity and to pay student loans so no one comes and tries to take me out at the knees. And yes I’d even like having some extra money so I can go on trips or a fun night out with my girlfriends.

But if tomorrow the government decided the bartering system was coming back, I would sign up immediately. Not just because money, balancing my checkbook and making a budget makes my head spin (I’m a historian for a reason– math isn’t my bag baby). I could barter for my gas bill with some very delicious baked goods. Grappling with the dollars and cents each month is tough and unless I am willing to make some huge changes in my life or win the lottery, it won’t be changing any time soon. But my attitude towards it can.

For me, it comes down to worth. My time, my value. I love my job and I would do it for free (I practically do at this rate anyway!)But honestly I find so much more pleasure in doing meaningful work than I do in the amount of funds it brings into my bank account. Some of you might think this is an incredibly naive way of thinking (and at times I might even agree with you), but thinking this way about life and money has helped keep me sane in grown up financial land. Long gone are the days when getting mail meant chain letters, pen pals, or care packages at college. Now the sound of the closing mailbox door is like that of impending doom and the heavy weight of the bills that sit inside. It’s frustrating at times of course- postdating checks so your account won’t overdraft or having to wait to buy something until it goes on sale (hello Ben & Jerry’s 2 for $5 sale =score!)

As I’ve embarked on my new singleton lifestyle, I’ve been thinking and tracking where my money is actually going every month. I’ve used mint.com which does all the hard work for you and I keep track in a little ledger book too. It has been relatively easy to adjust my budget properly and be able to pay my bills on time. I’m not saying it isn’t tight and that I’m not trying to find freelance writing opportunities where I can, but I feel like I have a good handle on my money reality. Thinking about it in a different way has been the thing that really has helped me come to terms with not having a whole lot of it. Because what’s the worst that can happen? I go bankrupt. I would still have my health, my family & friends.  I am thankful that I am able to put away a tiny amount of money into savings and for retirement while still being able to make the bills every month. If I pay the minimum on my student loans from undergrad and grad school, I won’t be done until 2032, probably around the time any potential children of mine will go to college. Despite those long years of debt, I wouldn’t trade the education and experiences I had from those six years for any amount of money.

Having a tight budget and shifting my thinking is also making me think differently about how I spend my time. I would often spend most afternoons and nights after work running around to buy things because they were on sale or because I had a coupon, even if it was something I did not really need. While I still employ the buy only on sale and/or with coupon, I only buy what is absolutely essential. This saves money as well as the amount of stuff coming into the house, but it also saves my time and gives me the time I need for the things that I want to be doing. Now when I run errands, I try to batch them all together in one block of time to be more efficient and then allow myself the opportunity to have the rest of the day or night for whatever will bring me joy.

I’ve made some other changes- I’m trying to only buy things with cash and use the credit card for real emergencies only. I canceled cable, though once Red Sox season starts again, I’ll need to find friends or spend a lot of time at my Mom and Dad’s house watching games since the alternative is watching at bars which will be counterproductive to the saving money initiative. Canceling cable is also going to allow me to focus on my goals of writing more, attacking my reading list, yoga, and spending time with the people I love to be around. And it’s going to make me think about what I actually want to be doing because I won’t have the crutch of mindless hours of TV watching. It’s only been one day so don’t congratulate me yet on this action item—I might end up at my parent’s more nights than not to get a fix!

With the holiday season coming up, I know I will be frustrated that I cannot provide the things I want for everyone on my gift giving list, but I’m really excited to write letters, make gifts, and a few other surprises for them that will show how much they mean to me, especially over the tumultuous last year. I’ve never been the most crafty person, but I’m doing a lot of new and different things that I never thought I was capable of before, so I am excited to push myself again. Whatever I create will be an awesome expression of love for them (and potentially something to laugh at for years to come, depending on the outcome!), and my gratitude and immense adoration for them is something money could never buy.

 

[Photo Credit: My budget & ledger]

 

 

 

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The Council: Holiday Edition

posted 15th November 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Molly, Stratejoy the Biz, Tips & Tools

Last spring I got to know 40+ of you through a little party we called The Council*.  Guess what?  It’s back, even better than last time!

I’m not going to put out a huge pitch about the Council or spend a lot of time trying to sell you on this, because it’s not that kind of thing.  If it’s for you – amazing!  I can’t wait to get to know some of you on a more personal level- to interact with you on more day-to-day basis for 21 solid, rockin’ days while we wrap up 2011 and starting dreaming and scheming for 2012.

*And yes, if you did The Council in the spring, you can totally do this one!  Brand new material and even some new surprises!

The Stratejoy Council

council: An group of persons called together for consultation, deliberation, or discussion.

Yes! Our Council will be addressing the juiciest issues that come up during the end of the year and the Holidays in an inspiring and useful way.  It will be a safe place for learning, sharing, and growing. With typical Stratejoy moxie, energy, and honesty of course!

What does The Council include?

**Three 60 minute Training Teleseminars on Tuesdays at 5:30 PST, 6:30 MST, 7:30 CST, 8:30 EST. The calls will be recorded for those of you who can’t make the live calls & still want to be involved.

**Follow-up Challenges & Exercises To Be Completed During our Time Apart. No more than 2 hours a week of challenges, ’cause we’re all busy women.  I’m even making art filled worksheets for you to  savor 2011, set intentions for 2012, and really plot out the kind of year you’re craving.

**A Secret Facebook Community where the Council can gather to report on the challenges, share roadblocks, and celebrate success together. This is a really fun part of our weeks together! It’s where we’ll connect with each other on a personal basis and offer support, laughter, and stories of our own experiences.  The Group Page will go live on November 28th and end on December 19th.  And yes, I will be ACTIVELY involved in the page.  (And the even bigger question: Yes, this means we’ll get to be Facebook Friends and you can stalk all my old wedding, backpacking, drinking night out pictures.  Don’t judge me, okay?!)

**Loads of Love to your Inbox.  You’ll get an email on each Monday, Wednesday, and Friday during the council with some visual inspiration and a 30 minute audio recording interview with a Gutsy Girl about how she approaches goal setting/resolutions/manifesting/big dreaming.   9 sweet emails + 6 motivating interviews to keep your energy up, provide some accountability, and help you stay grounded during the pre-Holiday craze.

Who will I be interviewing?   Jenny Blake.  Nicole Antoinette.  Kate Northrup.  Kyla Roma.  Chelsea of Chelsea Talks Smack. Alexandra Franzen.  Ev’Yan.  And then that’s just me in dark sunglasses filling a empty spot in the collage.  I’m the one doing the interviewing…

REGISTRATION

REGISTRATION IS CLOSED FOR THIS ROUND OF THE COUNCIL. That said, keep your eyes peeled for a New Years Package to get your hands on the recordings & worksheets!

Investment: Because this Council is going to require a significant amount of my time, I can’t offer it for free.  I thought about it, but it just wouldn’t make sense! But I can offer it at the most affordable option possible as a huge THANK YOU for being part of the Tribe.

It’s $49 for everything.  I hope that price makes you happy!! I truly hope it’s something you want to do for YOU and for an ushering in an amazing 2012.

When you sign up for your course, you’ll get an receipt from PayPal telling you that you’re all set.  I’ll be sending out the welcome email with instructions for the calls and more details on Monday the 28th. In the meantime — after you register, friend me on Facebook so I can invite you to the secret group!  If you need anything before the 28th, just reach out sugar.

Let me know you’re joining us — Ping me on Twitter and use the hashtag #joycouncil!  We can meet each other there while we wait for the 28th to arrive.

QUESTIONS?  Comment away!

XOXO

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Museum Rock Star Kate MacIntosh

posted 28th October 2011    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Kristen, Life Lesson, Season 5, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

The first time I saw Kate MacIntosh was at a New England Museum conference in November 2010 when she was presenting a session on the use of contemporary art at historic sites. This past January, I had the chance to meet Kate and pick her brain about the topic when we both went on a field trip for the Boston Emerging Museum Professionals. Her love of museums, art, and educating and engaging visitors is a much needed and awesome contribution to the field, but more importantly, I think she is one of the coolest people I have ever met.

Kate is one of those folks who takes an idea and runs with it. She is a true leader in every sense of the word, taking risks and making her opinions known. I chose to interview her for this post because while her particular focus in career is museums and art, her ideas about life and going after what you want is something that so many people, no matter the field you work in, can take some cues from.

Kate currently works as an independent museum professional, which might be one of the toughest fields in the current state of the economy.  In addition to her work helping historic sites integrate contemporary art into their interpretation, she also works as a teaching assistant at the Harvard Extension School in Cambridge, where she earned her Master’s Degree in 2010.

What makes her awesome at what she does is her passion for art, history, and museums. Kate says, “I love working for smaller museums, because every day is different and requires me to use different skills and abilities, and apply myself in ways I may have never considered or tried.  The ability to wear “multiple hats” keeps me motivated, challenged, and excited about what I am doing. Having been laid off from a past museum position, and knowing others who have been as well, I fear what the field is facing, and where museums may head without attention, intervention, and a reevaluation of their relevancy and futures.”

That passion stems from working in the museum field for the past seven years, as well as her background as an artist herself. Her undergrad thesis work was  “life-sized paper doll outfits exploring different aspects of my personality.  I’ve built on this concept, and recently wove a three-dimensional, wearable, paper dress out of ‘Vogue’ magazine pages, and red, white, and black paper.  The dress was installed on a mannequin in the window of a local gallery, and the installation also included a shopping cart and harajuku-inspired groceries.” She uses fashion magazines and blogs to provide inspiration for her sculptural art creations. Her work as an artist and her museum work allows Kate to cross the divide with contemporary artists and historic sites- she has helped facilitate some really awesome projects ( check out her site here) and I know she will continue to do this on a larger scale as her career grows.

I admire Kate not just because of her take charge attitude and making a name for herself in the museum world at the early stage of her career, but also because she has an awesome spirit.  She says, “Laughing often is key, and definitely brings me great joy.  There are times to be serious, but I really try to focus on a ‘turn that frown upside down’ approach to things.  I have learned to try to surround myself with others who like to have fun, and try to make time to be with those friends, family, and colleagues on a regular basis. Breaking out into song and dance also helps.  Whether this is something I do with others (usually to my own embarrassment) or by myself (while singing in the car), it helps shake off the serious of life and clear the way for whatever is next.”

A die hard Bruins fan, Kate’s perfect day is “ waking up (not too early), coffee and a fashion magazine or book, working on a sculptural dress or installation elements for a few hours, and heading to a hockey game; can we add not having to wake up too early the next day?  More like a perfect 24+ hours!” She also has great taste in music, which is her cure for those blah gross days. Kate says, “Playing really, really loud music in the car and singing (even if it means making up the lyrics because I don’t know the real ones) while driving helps on blue days.  It is nice to let it all go, and nothing helps more than a song like “I’m Just a Girl” by No Doubt or “Date with the Night” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.”

I asked Kate what her advice to a bright eyed 22 year old just out of college would be. She said,

“Put yourself first in all decisions, and take risks when there is more to gain than lose.  Putting yourself first in all decisions (something I was not very good at, and am still working on now) will help you to never say in the future, “what if.”  Taking risks is crucial, as it will help you discover the real you. Too scared of risks?  I use the pro/con list method; if there is more to gain from taking the risk than to lose, jump in.  If you find there are more cons, maybe it is not the right risk to get you where you want to be.”

Seriously something I’m going to consider more for sure!

The rest of 2011 is filled with a lot of excitement for Kate. Last year she started a bucket list that she is slowly knocking items off, while at the same time adding new challenges as she grows and learns. A big goal on her list is to visit a museum or historic site in every state in the country (something her and I share). She’s pushing ahead towards her dream goal of working as a curator at MoMA in NYC by doing consulting for museums and some writing projects for blogs.

Kate is not only is she amazing at what she does, she is the kind of fun girl you want to have around. One of the best times in the past few months I have had was a week in May when we both were at the national museum conference in Houston. She also has one of the best wardrobes ever!

This is why I admire Kate: she has an idea, a passion, and she is pursuing it to the fullest ability she can in order to live her most joyful and authentic voice. And if that’s not rock star status, I don’t know what is.

[Photo Credit: From Kate's Facebook, photo by Leslie!]

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How to Become an Optimist

posted 15th August 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

Click here to share ‘How to Be an Optimist’ with your friends on Twitter!

It’s been a week since I started this adventure.

I haven’t felt this excited about my work in a LONG time!  I think it’s the combination of reading the Season 5 Blogger applications, all the re-reading I’ve been doing on positive psychology, and my commitment to sharing my personal process with you.  Ideas are flowing. To do lists are being conquered. My long-term vision of Stratejoy is starting to peek around the clouds of doubt that had been hovering lately.

Hurrah!  I’m back! I know just one week of actively engaging in my life isn’t going to be enough however.  I’m going to have to keep putting in the “happiness work” and continue to expand my adventures.  I do feel that it’s off to a great start though!  It’s so affirming to have early success on a project or goal to keep you actively involved, eh?

I’m in Seattle right now, having taught a workshop for workshop here on Saturday for women soldiers based on my post “8 Strategies to Improve Your Quality of Life“.  It was all about intentional happiness and specific strategies you can try on daily basis.  I was a little nervous to teach for the US Army (Could I wear my sparkly sandals? What if I unknowingly offended someone with my liberal views? Would they see being happy/fulfilled as a silly goal?) but the women I met were just (amazing, dedicated) women.  They had fears and dreams and pride in their accomplishments just like all of us.

Duh.  I don’t know why I was so nervous!

We had a great morning and one of the pieces that most resonated with me was our lively discussion on cultivating optimism.  Being positive can often be seen as naivety or simply “sticking your head in the sand” especially when the real word feels so big and scary. In the throes of natural disasters, continuing high unemployment, and leadership that seems to run in circles, who wants to look on the bright side?

In actuality, optimism is incredibly good for YOU.  It increases job performance, creativity, ability to weather stress, health, and self esteem.  Negative events don’t hold us down as long.  Positive events confirm our belief in the good life.  It may not be able to change the events of the world, but it does help each of us navigate our world with a lighter step and more belief that our actions can make a difference.  Being optimistic can be amazingly self-fulfilling.

Optimism can be used in how you talk to yourself in the face of adversity, explain past events, and think about the future.  Before your read on, wanna see where you may fall on the different facets of optimism/pessimism scale?  Here’s the best free version of the Martin Seligman’s Learned Optimism test that I can find
online:  ONLINE QUIZ.

Though we tend to have a natural level of optimism/pessimism, learning an optimistic approach to life is totally possible.  And that’s where my adventures are taking me next…

Make Bad Things Less Personal and Pervasive

Most people would think of me an optimist, yes?  It’s something about the bubbly personality and level of excitement I’m capable of showing.  It’s a very loud positivity, I know.  Positivity is one of my measured strengths, so yes, I do function as an optimist in a many situations.

But not all…  And that’s where this Step 2 comes in.

A little background!  (Make sure you take the quiz before you read this if you’re going to take it at all!)

Optimism can be looked at via 3 different scales of explanatory styles.

When something negative happens in their life, pessimists tend to describe it as “lasting forever” (permanence), “spreading into all areas of their life” (pervasiveness) and “completely their fault” (personalization).  If they get dumped, the story they tell themselves is, “I’ll never find anyone else and will always be alone.  My whole life is falling apart because my relationship ended.  I’m not good enough and I did everything wrong.”  When something great happens in life, pessimists take the opposite side of explanation!  The great event will be temporary (lack of permanence), only reflect one part of their life (lack of pervasiveness), and didn’t have anything to do with their effort, talent, or strengths (lack of personalization).

Optimists take the other side of explanation in both kind of events.  When something great happens in their life like getting a raise, optimists will say, “This is amazing.  All my work effort is paying off and they could tell I really rocked my last assignment (personalization).  This is the first raise of many.  I’m sure I’ve been marked for the fast track and can look forward to more quick growth (permanence). This is going to make so many things easier (pervasiveness).”  On the flip side, when something bad happens it had to do with external factors or others (lack of personalization), isn’t going to last forever (lack of permanence) and won’t affect other parts of their life (lack of pervasiveness).

Woo!  Following me, sunshine?

I score very high on all three scales in how I explain positive events in my life, as well as very low on permanence when bad things happen to me.  So far, so good.

Unfortunately, I struggle with personalization and pervasiveness when bad events occur.  I take negative events very personally and then let them spread into all corners of my life (I personally failed at selling out my new course, and thus suck at being a business owner, and thus suck at everything in life). This tendency can paralyze me when crappy things happen.  I suddenly started doubting my worth and letting it poison my confidence in other parts of my life that have nothing do with the crappy event.

Eeek!  I’m tackling this tendency because bad things will always happen, that’s just life! I want to practice new ways of processing the events, so I can move on more quickly and with less damage to my self-esteem.

My challenge…

  1. Become aware of when something bad/negative occurs.
  2. Tune into how I’m responding to it, including my self talk and how I share the story with others.
  3. Practice seeing the other side of Personalization (Is this really my fault?  What other factors may have played into this? Is it really and truly “bad” or are my expectations out of whack?)
  4. Practice seeing the other side of Pervasiveness (Will this really affect other areas of my life?  How might this be an isolated event?  What are the great things that are happening elsewhere in my world?)

This part of Adventures in Flourishing is going to be harder to measure and track than my other challenges, because it’s a mental pattern and not an external habit to stop/develop.  But I’m up to it!!

What about you?  Do you have a distinct piece of Cultivating Optimism you want to tackle? 

For those of you participating in this entire series, here are the other posts to remind you what we are up to:

Adventures in Flourishing
The Well-Being Theory and My Happiness Score

ENGAGEMENT

POSITIVE EMOTION

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The Well-Being Theory & My Happiness Scores

posted 11th August 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

And it continues.  You know when you put something out into the world with no idea what you’re doing or where it’s going or who will be interested?  That’s exactly what this experiment is…

As I’ve been thinking about how I want to structure what I’m communicating to you, I realized I probably started off in the middle, instead of from the beginning!  I didn’t explain any of the background or frameworks or put together a logical plan of where this was going…

Oops!

Although I’ve been pondering this blog takeover for a few weeks, I really didn’t make a plan.  I just dove in on Monday (read the first post on my Happiness Experiment via Positive Psychology here) when I realized it was absolutely time to take some control back over my own well-being.  And I dove in with a few of my go-to tricks to “restart”:  give something “bad” up and add something “good” to the mix under the umbrella of passive/active leisure.

My first measurements of flourishing have the best intentions behind them,  but I’m realizing that they may not have been the appropriate “STEP ONE” for our Adventures together.  They have do have a purpose and a place, but the timing was off.  I’m not letting them go, because I honestly feel more content (though still craving a glass of wine at night), but I do want to back up…

Framework time dear one!

WELL-BEING THEORY

(as studied & described by Martin Seligman, PhD, the daddy of Positive Psychology)

“Well-being cannot exist just in your own head; well-being is a combination of feeling good as well as actually having meaning, good relationships, and accomplishment.  The way we choose our course in life is to maximize the five elements that make up well-being.”

The big picture goal of positive psychology is to increase the amount of flourishing (exercise of the above elements) in our own lives and on the planet.  Flourishing can be used as one measurement of the health of a country, a corporation, a school system, or an individual.  It can be measured, tracked, built upon, and improved upon through exercises and interventions.

One key piece in the research about the “how” of flourishing is the use of your signature strengths and virtues (perhaps 4 or 5 of the 24 measured strengths) in pursuit of the five elements of well-being.

Whew!  I tried by best to break down several texts into the above description… ;)

The Well-Being Theory is the Seligman’s latest answer to the question, “What makes up the good life”?

I dove into that framework to help give you a little of the background of how I’m looking at these next 8 weeks. Obviously the scientific side of “Adventures in Flourishing” is just one piece of the whole.  It does, however, give categories to other pieces I’ll be exploring.

My experience of spirituality and Buddhism will fall under the Meaning Element.  My re-balancing of my active/passive leisure time (also described as pursuit of pleasure vs pursuit of gratification) will fall under the Engagement Element.  The honoring of my values of love and family will fall under the Positive Relationship Element.  And my dedication to the development of a Personal Leadership course falls under Achievement and Engagement and Positive Relationships!

BASE-LEVEL

The other piece that was missing from my first post was some level of starting measurement.  How will I know if Adventures in Flourishing improved my own level of happiness or well-being?  I can subjectively report “damn I feel good,” but being the geek that I am about this stuff, I’d like a little more….

I took three base-level measurements.  All of these assessments can be taken for free at http://www.authentichappiness.org.  I plan on taking them again in 8 weeks to see if there is a noticeable difference in my scores!

The Authentic Happiness Inventory

Meaning in Life Questionnaire
(Have to say the results on this one surprised me.  Indicative of being in a low mood this last month? Overwhelmed by all of THE THINGS?  Not sure.  Subjectively I would have told you I feel a strong sense of purpose in my life…)

The Satisfaction with Life Scale

So there we go!  A base level measurement and a Positive Psychology Framework to get us started off on the right foot. 

Do you have a minute?  Head over to the Authentic Happiness Website, take the base level tests that I took, and report back to me in the comments with YOUR scores!  And an update on your engagement commitments if you made them on Monday.

I’ll be checking back in soon.

In the meantime, I’m off to Seattle to teach a workshop for the US Army at a Women’s Retreat.  Wish me luck!

 

ENGAGEMENT

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