Category: Travel/Adventure

A Lesson in Forgiveness from a Pint of Guinness

posted 10th April 2012    Written by: Caitlin    CATEGORY: All Posts, Caiti, Season 6, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

I recently found myself nervous about imbibing a pint of Guinness in an Irish pub. My college self would be making SO MUCH FUN OF ME right now.

College Caiti knew how to have a good time, or at least a good time in that straightlaced-teenager-finally-off-the-leash kind of way that the beginning of college always seems to provoke. She worked her butt off at school during the week so that she could spend her weekends swimming in Jungle Juice at house parties on East Campus or sneaking into the Music Cafe with her dorm mates, the one bar in town where they knew they wouldn’t get carded.

While I could certainly come up with more than a handful of beer-fueled memories that I hope to hold onto forever, a great deal of them make me cringe. Not being able to talk to guys unless I was at least two drinks in. Not knowing how to really be myself when I wasn’t drinking. Never being able to decipher the line between “just enough” and “too much.” A situation with some fraternity boys that barely avoided turning into the plot of a Lifetime movie. And the beer tears, oh goodness, THE BEER TEARS.

After a few years of this behavior, I flipped a switch. I was done with drinking. Dunzo. I was beginning to realize that the sense of self I lost whenever I indulged too much wasn’t worth the temporary buzz. Not to mention the unofficial tally of hours wasted to nursing hangovers. That lost time frightened me.

Not everyone understood my change of behavior, though. I lost some friendships towards the end of college because of it, and was told, “You’re a lot more fun when you’re drinking.” Ouch.

I thought my perceived lack of fun-ness didn’t matter that much (though I preferred the term “old soul”)– I graduated college, and moved to a town just outside of Chicago with a lot less of a twentysomething bar scene and more of a thirtysomethings-with-kids scene. I wined and dined with friends at restaurants and at dinner parties, but I’d duck out before the nightlife really kicked off. It was fine with me that my idea of fun didn’t include trying to maintain a conversation at shouting volume in a dark, crowded bar, and DID include far more tea, NPR, and Scrabble than was probably normal for someone in their twenties.

Fast forward to a week or so ago in Ireland. Where, instead of Starbucks, there are pubs on every corner, and drinking is undoubtedly a part of Irish culture. And every time I was faced with the option of going to the pub for a pint, I found myself resistant and anxiety-ridden. When I envisioned “bar culture,” I could only think about the loud, over-indulgent environment of my college days and my former lack of control. I couldn’t stop holding onto who I had been, and–in the process– had inadvertently let it shape who I am. And what kind progress will I ever be able to make in my life if I can’t let go of the past?

So I said yes to my first pint of Guinness, on St. Patrick’s Day in a pub in Dublin, Ireland. But I think I also said yes to forgiveness. I think I’m realizing that the people we were yesterday will never matter as much as the people we are today. Looking backward, it’s easy for me to get hung up on extremes– the girl who partied and the the girl who abstained. But we aren’t intended to be black-and-white creatures; we are a beautiful mix of color and variance and idiosyncrasies. I can have a drink at 9pm in the middle of the week when the bars aren’t packed, AND THEN go home and crochet while watching documentaries on Netflix!

And, really, this idea is so much bigger than than to drink or not to drink, isn’t it? My past career “failures” don’t mean I’M a failure or that I’m somehow doomed to lifetime of professional drudgery. And I don’t have to punish myself for the friendships that have faded, because tomorrow is an opportunity for fresh relationships, or new life for old ones. While we can often learn from the past, it’s sometimes far to easy to chain yourself to it, and I know I don’t want to do that anymore. It makes me ponder who I would be today and tomorrow if I had no memory of my personal history, which is a pretty thrilling thought. But I think I’ll need a fresh pint before I go there.

{Image credit: Me}

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Let Me Fly With My Beaded-Paper Wings

posted 6th April 2012    Written by: Camila    CATEGORY: All Posts, Camila, Creativity, Inspiration, Job/Career/Work, Season 6, Travel, Travel/Adventure

Multicolored telephone wire woven into baskets, 18-inch eagles crafted from recycled newspaper,  old steel drums cut and shaped into beautiful mermaids. I adore how simple materials, odds and ends that some people deem garbage can  be morphed into beautiful forms of art.

When I was living in Hartford, CT as an AmeriCorps member I was certainly lacking in what most people deem necessities. I didn’t have a real bed, nor a table or chair, but I did have books, and I did have art. I had small masks from Santo Domingo by my windows, paintings and giant collages created by my half-blind grandfather decorating my walls, and a tiled-metal-work mirror from Mexico adorning my “night table”.

Thinking about it, both of my parents place a high value on art. They took my siblings and me to museums in nearly every place we went, bought paintings from local artists, and we always had a plethora of sketchbooks, colored pencils, paint, beads, and other craft supplies to entertain our minds’ latest creative endeavor. There is so much I appreciate about this. Without a doubt it’s a value that I would like to pass on to Geoffrey’s and my future children and it is unquestionably part of why I want to go to graduate school to study…folk art. That’s right, I want to go on in school to get a PhD for doing research on 1) the use of recycled materials in folk art and 2) the way women’s art cooperatives create financial opportunities and may help prevent issues of violence against women.

Deep breath. Yep. Oh folk art how you make me swoon.

Last May, I went to visit my amazing, go-getter of a friend who was working at a health clinic in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. I knew I would be spending some time with her but I also knew I had to visit some artisans in Haiti. Since I was still an AmeriCorps member and knew I’d have a while  before returning to school I figured I might as well get a head start and conduct some independent research while there and see if this was indeed what I wanted to dedicate several years of my life to doing.

That solidified it.

One afternoon, my friend and I journeyed to Croix-de-Bouquets, a neighborhood in Port-au-Prince of metal-workers. Walking through the dusty streets, men worked outside pounding out steel to shape into gorgeous wall-pieces. As we walked by, artisans beckoned us to enter their homes, to see what they had created. I was in love and perfectly content having my eyes scan the walls looking at tree-of-life after tree-of-life, roosters, elephants, people carrying baskets of fruit, profiles of women with hair spiraling out into the wind. Gasp, this was exactly what I wanted to do! What was preventing me from choosing this as a career path, especially when it was something that I loved?

Another day I rode with my new friend on his moto-taxi to visit a women’s cooperative that created flip-flops, wallets, and bags from old chip bags and the woven plastic from bags of oranges. That was an interesting visit as most of what I learned, do to my inability to speak Kreyol, came through hand motions and observation.

A third trip out into the city took me to The Apparent Project, a compound where men and women rolled strips of boxes and paper into spherical beads to thread into gorgeous jewelry.

The innovation of ideas birthing art, the impact of art cooperatives on an individual’s or a family’s financial sustainability, the way that something can be created from nothing- all of these fascinate me and are precisely the reasons that of all the graduate programs I could choose, this is what I need to study.

Just a couple of weeks ago, I was researching schools in Portland, Oregon where my fiance and I are moving after our wedding. For a long time, I didn’t know if I should look into sociology, anthropology, or women’s studies. They’ve all been programs I’ve been considering but I never knew exactly which one I should pick.  I mean, each one has it’s pros and cons. Then I found it. An hour away in Eugene, if I apply, and I’m accepted, I can go for a Masters and a Doctorate in Folk Lore. What could be more perfect then that?!? Then of course there’s the question of what countries would I want to focus on? What questions would I want to ask? How could I go back to school and also be a doula/midwife? And of course, there’s the question that keeps popping up and I keep pushing aside… the question of what would I do next? Would I become a professor? Would I start or work for an NGO? I don’t even know. Perhaps that’s just another question for another time.

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When Life Get Too Easy, I Get Suspicious

posted 3rd April 2012    Written by: Caitlin    CATEGORY: All Posts, Caiti, Season 6, Travel/Adventure

I’ve been in Ireland just over two weeks at the time I’m writing this. And so far, things have been remarkably easy.

Almost too much so… which makes me suspicious.

When I arrived in Dublin after my overnight flight from Chicago, my husband Mark was at the airport ready to pick me up, since he had been living and working in Ireland for a month already.

After a quick highway drive, we arrived at our apartment that Mark’s company arranged for us– a perfectly nice two-bedroom, furnished place located in a historic and adorably quintessential Irish town.

The company also provided us with everything else we’d need: utilities, a grocery allowance, a car, a cell phone, and even a TV and cable service (the last two arguably fall outside the “need” category, but hey, don’t bite the hand that feeds you, right?). Grocery stores, restaurants and brick-clad pubs lining Main Street are all within a few minutes’ walking distance of our front door, and there are tree-lined running paths practically in our backyard. There’s even a hilly sheep pasture across from the neighborhood where I hear the tiny bleating of fluffy lambs while I’m taking my morning walks, for pete’s sake.

My initial reaction is that it feels like a travel experience wrapped up in a shiny red bow.
Or maybe a bit like traveling with training wheels.
Or some pseudo travel scenario arranged by a producer of “The Bachelor” (minus the roses and silly emotional girls).
(Go ahead, pick your metaphor.)

Not that I’m complaining. I’m incredibly grateful for the opportunity that we’ve been given, and I know that Mark is paying his dues by working his butt off and putting in long hours at work. He’s been here in Ireland a lot longer than me, so he had to deal with learning to drive on the left and adjusting to roundabouts on his own. He has stories of getting hopelessly lost for hours in downtown Dublin after two flights and over 24 hours awake.

But for me, it’s been a pretty sweet deal. During the days, I get to work on writing and design work, go exploring around town, and cook dinner for us, and our weekends are full of excursions, where I happily snap hundreds of photos of the beautiful countryside. Sometimes I think it’s too good to be true.

I’m interested in what my general suspicion about the ease of this trip may reveal about myself. I’ve determined a few things:

1. I go in to new situations expecting them to be difficult.
It’s one thing to acknowledge a new situation that might feel uncomfortable, and to give yourself a little leeway as you ease into it. But that’s not what I do. I enter it on the defensive, expecting a struggle. My mind is all caught up in the future, imagining possible scenarios– all of which go fantastically horrible, of course. I mean, traveling is fun and amazing, but it isn’t supposed to be easy. On this trip, I imagined immigration not letting me into the country or Mark not wanting me here after getting settled in on his own (WHAT? I’m his wife! But Crazybrain doesn’t concern itself with things like “logic”).

The lesson: There’s a fine line between being prepared and obsessing. I really want move away from having my guard up all the time and instead put more of an effort into paying attention to the present moment, where– 95% of the time– things are absolutely fine.

2. I have a hard time owning my happiness.
I’ve noticed that as much as I have trouble opening up about the hard stuff I’m going through (like quitting my job), I also feel uncomfortable talking about the good stuff. It feels like I’m bragging or rubbing my good fortune in other people’s faces when I talk about how well things are going. A part of me also feels a bit unworthy, since we are here in Ireland because of Mark, and I’m just “tagging along.”

The lesson: If being happy at the sight of baby sheep is wrong, I don’t want to be right! In all seriousness, I need to take a lesson from Molly, who often talks about the importance of celebrating your accomplishments. So here it goes: Everything is great and I am happy! I am so grateful for this experience! Corporate-funded travel is pretty much The Actual Best!

3. I’m worried about getting too comfortable.
Since we have a home base here in Ireland (as opposed to a hotel situation) and I happen to be a bit of a homebody, I don’t want to end up inadvertently choosing my comfort zone over any of the varied experiences I’d have outside my door.

The Lesson: I want to keep those confidence-building, boundary-pushing goals in mind. As with almost everything else in my life, it’s a delicate balance– choosing quieter activities that refill my well (since I am a pretty classic INFP introvert), weighed against the situations that’d be growth opportunities full of lasting memories. I’m pretty sure that a mix of both scenarios would lead to the happiest version of me.

… So this is where my thoughts are as I get settled into Ireland. It’s been amazing and gorgeous and fun so far, and I can’t wait to see what the next few months brings. I’m 99% sure that it won’t include an immigration officer knocking on my door and kicking me out of the country, despite what my brain seems to think.

{Image Credit: My husband}

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Life Imitates Yoga Class

posted 7th February 2012    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kat, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

I remember the day my hamstrings loosened. I have kind of a terrible memory, so naturally I don’t recall the exact date. But oh, the feeling. I was in a yoga class last summer, about five or six months after my teacher training began. As I moved into parsvottanasana – a forward bend that makes me want to punch things challenges me – I noticed that something felt different. That day, my hamstrings didn’t scream quite so much as they had been for months prior. That day, there was space to go a little deeper. I inhaled, straightening and lengthening my spine. I exhaled, folding forward just a little more than I ever had before. It might only have been one-quarter or one-half of an inch, but there it was. Something had shifted, and I was present, breathing, noticing.

Now I have a confession: I didn’t accomplish any of the goals I set for myself way back when in my third post.

In my first few drafts of this post, I wrote an explanation here about why I didn’t complete them. But you know what?

It doesn’t matter.

I wasn’t ready.

Am I now? I think so.

Five months after the beginning of my Stratejoy journey, I’m getting that same feeling in my life as I did with my hamstrings last summer. There’s space now. Things are shifting.

* * * * *

Five months. 15 countries (including the United States and Canada). 37 beds, couches, futons, armchairs, air mattresses, and uncomfortable, questionably clean train seats. Thousands of photographs.

Have I changed? Good lord, yes.

How have I changed? That’s…more involved.

There are the obvious things, of course. I’m no longer working a 9-5 job. I no longer live in Brooklyn; my residence is still transient. I’ve put on weight. I drink coffee now, and I don’t spend as much time on the internet. I no longer hit snooze ten times when Joan Jett yells, “I don’t give a damn ’bout my bad reputation!” in my ear.

The more subtle stuff is harder to nail. Some days, I still feel stuck in the same patterns in which I’ve found myself for years. Other days, I feel like a new person. I frequently find myself feeling so fucking grateful for people, places, and moments that I want to explode with joy. I’m more at peace; I’ve shaken that stressed-out-hurry-hurry-frequently-annoyed attitude that I picked up during my six years in NYC. And overall, I’m feeling truly empowered and happy. I’m sure that there are other things, but those are the ones that I’ve figured out how to verbalize so far.

It seems that the nomadic lifestyle mostly works for me.

* * * * *

While preparing to write this, I took a look at my values from The Joy Equation, which I mentioned in my second post.

Connection. Bliss. Abundance. Trust. Adventure. Courage. Magic. Strength. Without even planning it, I’ve ended up posting about each of those over the past five months. I love when it’s suddenly clear that I’m on the right track, even when I hadn’t been planning every detail.

Seeing in concrete terms that I’m now living my core values feels really fucking amazing.

* * * * *

Though my time writing in this space ends with this post, my journey will continue. Today I’m on a flight back to New York. That was definitely not part of the original plan – but then again, neither was staying in Europe until February. I wanted time for yoga, tattoos, my favorite foods, and friends and family.

And then: Australia. I’m sad to leave Europe, and at the same time, I’m ready to develop a routine again. I’m excited to meet Kate and other new friends, and pumped to start teaching yoga again. I’m gearing up for summer, kickboxing classes, and maybe learning how to surf!

I hope you’ll continue following my adventure:

twitter: shinyredtype
facebook: pierced hearts and true love
blog: piercedheartsandtruelove.com
yoga teaching schedule: katselvocki.com

Thank you all for being a part of my QLC! And as Edward Abbey wrote, “May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.”

[photo credit: my friend and travel buddy, Jenni]

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Chocolate, Yoga, and 13 Countries: The Past Five Months in Interview Form

posted 29th January 2012    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kat, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Travel, Travel/Adventure

The past five months have gone by entirely too quickly! It’s still a little mind-blowing to me that I’ve been on the road for nearly four of those five. A lot has happened during that time, and while the big things are obvious, I think the smaller changes are going to take another five months to process. And that’s okay! I want to keep growing and transforming as I continue working through my QLC and settling into my new life. I’m still so honored that I’ve been able to share this journey with all of you!

What are you obsessed with at this exact moment?

Zotter chocolate, yoga, mochas, getting my etsy shop up and running, visiting my OddDaughter in England, my impending gluten detox. (I’m gluten-intolerant, and I have not been careful during my travels.)

You can time travel but only to the past! What time period/ historical event do you go and experience?

This is an easy one! Every time I talk about Coney Island, I tell people that I want to go there during the early 1900s, when it was “America’s Playground”. Coney Island is literally one of my favorite places on the entire planet, and I’d love the opportunity to experience Luna Park, Steeplechase Park, and Dreamland in their heyday.

If you could be any animal, which animal would you be and why?

A tiger. I find them mesmerizing; they’re so strong, and yet still graceful.

Any person dead or alive, who would you have dinner with?

David Lynch. I think he’d be an utterly fascinating dinner companion, and boy, do I have some questions for him!

What is on your life’s soundtrack?

I planned my final yoga class at my old studio around the theme of overcoming fear. This was the playlist for the class, and I think it’s a pretty accurate soundtrack for my life as well:

In addition to that playlist, I’d add these songs that I can’t live without:

I’ve linked to as many of the songs as I could, so hopefully you’ll go forth and enjoy some new music – and if you like it, support the artists!

If you could be anywhere in the world right now, where would you be?

If I could clone myself and simultaneously be with my friends in NYC, Seattle, Minneapolis, Raleigh, St. Augustine, San Francisco, Vancouver, Edmonton, Oxford, Graz, Vienna, Rabat, Melbourne, Sydney, and Okinawa – well, I’d do that. Since that’s not going to happen, I think I’ll stick with wanting to be where I as I’m writing this: Barcelona!

Who has been your biggest inspiration throughout your QLC?

My yoga kula (community): the ladies who completed teacher training with me and several other friends/mentors. They inspire me every day with their passion, bravery, and love.

If money, education, time, or location were not an issue, what would you be doing for work in life?

It feels pretty awesome to say this: I’d be doing exactly what I’m doing now/about to be doing (teaching yoga, writing, taking photographs, traveling)! I just wouldn’t need to worry about my bank account so much in the process. :)

What was the biggest mental shift you’ve made from 5 months ago to now?

Over the course of my last few weeks in New York, I was seriously doubting my decision to leave and my ability to keep myself afloat financially and emotionally without a 9-to-5 job. Now I feel certain that I did the right thing, and that I can make this all work.

What’s changed? List 10 little sweet things.

  1. I gave up my cozy Brooklyn apartment for a transient lifestyle.
  2. I don’t really mind wearing the same clothes four months in a row.
  3. I’ve developed and renewed so many amazing friendships.
  4. I miss good tacos and bbq.
  5. I’ve learned, once and for all, that my yoga practice – the reading, the āsana, the meditation – is crucial to my well-being.
  6. I drink coffee!
  7. I’ve visited 13 countries (six new ones and seven return trips).
  8. I’m learning to be less afraid of making mistakes.
  9. I’m a pro at navigating new European cities where I don’t speak the language.
  10. I don’t think I ever want to go back to the 9-5 world.

What’s one thing that you’ve learned – in general or about yourself – over the past five months?

I’ve (re)learned just how important it is for me to have a community. I am fortunate to have amazing friends scattered around the globe, but what makes a place feel like home for me is having some of my people nearby.

What would you have done differently on your Stratejoy journey if you were starting today?

I wish I’d put more time into soul-searching (writing morning pages, completing The Joy Equation, etc.) at the beginning. I feel like I’m only now beginning to tackle some of the really big, deep stuff! At the same time, I think that I needed space to get there, so maybe it’s all worked out for the best.

What song(s) will remind you of the past five months?

What is your favorite thing about YOU?

I am so proud of myself for doing things – from minor items to major life changes – even when they absolutely terrify me.

Name 3 things you absolutely love about yourself.

  1. I love that I’m my quirky self; I rock diverse interests that range from the badass to the absurd, and everything in between.
  2. I love that I’m not afraid to cry.
  3. I love that I don’t need a lot of stuff to survive and thrive.

How are you living life on your own terms?

I quit a steady job to travel the world and move to a new country to start a less traditional career path. Despite the concerns of my family and my slowly dwindling bank account – which will be pleased when I arrive in Sydney and also begin selling my photos – I am overall the happiest I’ve been in my life. Even when I get scared (and it definitely happens), I feel like I made exactly the right choice for me, and I love that I’m listening deeply and following my heart.

[photo credit: me!]

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