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6 Months Worth Of Lessons In Under 600 Words

posted 27th July 2010    Written by: Nicole Antoinette    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Life Lesson, Nicole Antoinette, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, What I've Learned

When I started writing for Stratejoy, I had just up and moved to San Francisco with no job, no money, no friends, no place to live, and no plan. I had a crush on a boy and a love for the Golden Gate Bridge, but that was about it.

In the time that’s passed between then and now, I have found an incredible job, a stable income, a place to live, some of the best friends I’ve ever had, a plan for the future, a relationship with a new (and infinitely better-for-me) boy, and a continually renewing love for the Golden Gate Bridge.

Taking this weekly pause to write about the more serious side of my life has helped me frequently reflect on who I am, who I want to be, and how to best close the gap between the two. In those moments of reflection, here are the lessons I’ve learned:

Take the time to talk things out with the people you care about. Honest communication solves most problems before they become problems at all. And don’t just talk, listen.

Understand that different doesn’t have to mean bad. I’m me and you’re you and our differences can help us bring each other closer to where we want to be.

Send thank you cards. Sincere expressions of gratitude let someone know that what they did mattered to you, and most of the time what we need is to feel appreciated.

Make plans. The only thing better than having something delicious to look forward to is feeling the plans turn to memories and knowing you’ll be able to fondly remember them forever.

Treat yourself better than you treat anyone else. Understand that selfish and self-care are two different things, and that you can’t show up for anyone else if you don’t show up for yourself first.

Remember that your greatest freedom is the freedom to choose. You can choose which impulses to follow and which to ignore. You can choose who you let into your life, how you spend your time, and what occupies your thoughts. Think good thoughts.

Find what inspires you, and then mainline it on the regular. There’s no such thing as too much inspiration.

Stand up for the people you love and the beliefs that move you. Let yourself be passionate, even if it means your ideas and feelings will be isolating to some. We’re not here to please everyone and there’s no glory in being watered down, overly accommodating versions of ourselves.

Stop wanting what you don’t want. Learn to tell the difference between what you actually want and what your ego wants. Tell your ego to shut the hell up.

Ask questions. Other people can’t read your mind, so don’t assume you can read theirs. The fastest way to find out what you want to know is to just ask.

Give people room to make mistakes. High standards give you great results, but unrealistic standards give you nothing but disappointment.

And lastly, take risks. If you don’t jump to try to reach your best possible life, who will?

[Note from the editor: Nicole Antoinette, it's been an absolute JOY, to have you in my life these last 8 months.  Can you believe that's all it's been?   From our very first emails that crossed paths in the ether, to lunch in SF, to phone calls asking the Universe to just get you to California, to the amazing hot mess you pulled off in Vegas- you are a bundle of energy, an amazing friend, and a woman to be reckoned with.

I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for sharing your passion, your killer writing skills, and such an intimate slice of your life over here.  The Tribe and I will never be the same, sweetness! Here's to the big dreams coming true, finding happiness in the small moments, and being utterly and deliciously YOU.  'Cause you're so damn good at being YOU.   Love, Love, Love,   Molly]

photo credit: Jamie Varon

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