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Trust in Yourself and Your Tribe

posted 30th October 2011    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Guest Post Rockstar, Inspiration, Kat, Season 5

I had the pleasure of meeting the gorgeous and badass Jenn Gibson on twitter, and her website, Roots of She, is one of my favorite places on the internet these days. (If you haven´t checked it out, go now – after you read the interview, of course. It´s an inspiring collection of shared stories for and by women, and I think you´ll love it, too)

I think she´s rad, and I was thrilled that she was willing to share a piece of her story with me for the Stratejoy tribe! I´ll let you meet her in her own words:

In 100 words or fewer, who’s Jenn?

I’m a yoga lover and a believer in the power of dreaming big. Kittens and dancing make my heart go pitty-pat. I moved back home over the summer, bought a little house near the beach and love being so close to my family again. I write gratitude lists more often than to-do lists, and my favorite things right now are watching the leaves fall, listening to the wind high up in the trees, drinking hot tea and the quiet time before sunrise.

What motivated you to start Roots of She?

Because a site like this needed to exist. I’m coming to the table with feminist beliefs and a deep-seated need to translate those beliefs into something empowering and welcoming. My intention for this site: to act as a gathering place for women, a place where we can share our stories, no matter what flavor or bent they take. Think of a country porch on a cool summer evening, sitting around in rocking chairs or swings with mugs of tea in your hand – that feeling of home, safety, connection, solidarity. That’s how I hope you feel when you visit.

With Roots of She, you’ve created the opportunity to connect with so many amazing women. What have you learned from the tribe members that’s touched you the most deeply?

Wow, that’s a tough question because these women teach me every time they put fingertips to keyboard. One thing that’s resonating right now is something that Hannah taught me — the power of making my bed each morning. I would never make my bed before, absolutely loathed doing it, viewed it as a waste of time. I took her course The Joy Up over the summer and one segment of it was about making your bed. Something simple, right? So, grumbling and huffing and probably stomping my feet some, I started making my bed. Then I noticed that setting my space to rights each morning was calming, soothing. Relaxing, even, because I knew that when I would go to sleep that night, my bed would be a peaceful place. The sheets would be pulled up, the pillows plumped. There would be no chaos of tangled and jumbled sheets, no blankets left in disarray. It establishes my room as sacred space.

Do you feel like you’re going through/went through a quarterlife crisis? Tell me a little bit about your experience of it.

Oh, if you were here, you’d've just heard such an inelegant and loud snort. Yes, I totally went through a quarterlife crisis, complete with John Mayer soundtrack. I graduated from college when I was 23 and jumped right into working at a newspaper — oh man, journalism just got me so revved up. And then… and then it didn’t anymore. Then I got tired of being told which stories to tell and how to tell them. It just wasn’t working for me, and I angsted all over my friends and family. I had no idea what to do, I felt so small and lost. After a while, I decided that I’d go to grad school and get certified to teach. I loved working with kids and ensuring that they had a strong foundation of knowing that… they were enough, that they could do anything, it was so important to me. One thing led to another and I had to put those dreams on pause. Once in a while I would wonder what life would be like, who I would’ve become, if things had been different, but life is awesome from where I’m standing, I’m happy.

Who/what inspires you?

Who: Danette Relic. Hannah Marcotti. Pixie Campbell. Amanda Oaks. Rachael Maddox. Gwen Bell. Tara Wagner. Jen Lemen.

What: The smallness of every day. Baptiste yoga. Being around people who get so jazzed on life it can’t help but rub off.

Who/what challenges you?

Who: Me. I get in my own way so often, bahaha. Sometimes I get so wound up about things that it feels like I’m literally standing in my own way. When that happens I know I need to take a break and step away from things.

What: Anxiety and depression.

As you know, I’m a girl who loves to travel, so I love other people’s travel stories. What’s your favorite place that you’ve ever visited? Why?

Hee! I love San Diego! I went there a couple of years ago — it was in February, the East Coast had just gotten spanked by two blizzards, and days after that, there I am standing on a pier and people are apologizing to me for it only being 60 degrees. I couldn’t believe it, it was amazing and something I never thought I’d be able to do. Oh wow, the ocean was so big and pretty. It was vast and I looked out and thought it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

Any final words of wisdom for the Stratejoy tribe?

Hmm. Yes, actually. These are the things I wish someone had told me when I was 25 and 23 and 28: Your value and worth exceeds any dollar amount. You can do anything, even if you don’t believe it right now, even if things are hard, your potential is limitless. Be fierce and fearless, trust in yourself and your tribe. And when you get scared, remember to breathe. You can handle anything a breath at a time.

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Dollars vs. Dreams

posted 23rd October 2011    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kat, Money, Season 5, Travel, Travel/Adventure

Money’s been on my mind a lot lately. Long-term travel plans will do that to you, I suppose. I’ve got a variety of fears related to this trip, but the one that’s most consistently present is the fear of running out of cash. I touched on that in my post about my travel/moving plans, but I think it’s worth a closer look. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone here, and I suspect this fear is what stops some people from following their dreams of traveling, opening a business, and more.

My parents raised me to make very practical choices about money. My family is solidly middle class–perhaps even upper middle class in the economically-depressed area where I grew up–and they taught me from a young age to save. I’ve never been the type of person to accumulate a large sum of credit card debt, and while I was employed, I was putting money into a retirement account. I decided to leave my job in Seattle to do AmeriCorps partly because the paychecks were sometimes uncertain. Even though I wasn’t going to earn a lot of money during my AmeriCorps year, at least I was able to plan for that.

Point being: my nature is to make reasonably intelligent financial decisions and save money.

What the fuck was I thinking when I quit my job?!

I was thinking that I’d spent a few years automatically transferring 20-30% of my earnings into a savings account every month. I knew that someday I’d use that money to do something awesome, and that time had come. When it wasn’t in my checking account, I didn’t spend it. It was like magic when I looked at the savings balance later!

I was thinking that I was tired of earning my keep in a way that drained me. I was doing so many things on the side that I enjoyed–teaching yoga, blogging, taking photographs–and I wanted more time to explore those options as a potential sources of income.

I was thinking that life is short, and that I’ve never really bought into the idea that we should wait until we retire to follow our dreams. A former coworker once said to me: “It’s hard to dance when you have a walker, but it’s easy to sit at a desk and type.” I don’t want to wait my whole life to do something that I’m excited about now. I don’t want to spend my whole life saving for something that might never happen.

I’m not advocating racking up debt to fund crazy plans and diving into things with reckless abandon. That’s not my style. I am suggesting that if we want to do awesome things, we need to make those a priority. I was able to save the money for this trip by living what some people saw as a spartan lifestyle. I spent money on the things that mattered most–travel and food, including eating out with friends–and I was cautious about the rest. There were certainly times that I missed living alone, but I saved hundreds of dollars each month by having a roommate. I rarely bought things like clothes, books, and other random items because those weren’t in my budget.

My dad said to me a few years ago that he and my mom had a hard time understanding me because they saw my brother buying things (new tv, car stereo, etc.), and I wasn’t like that. I like to spend my money on experiences. That’s how I choose to live my life, and that includes the financial side of it.

All of that doesn’t take away the fear of running out of cash. You know what’s scarier to me, though? Planning around a someday that might never arrive and living a life that isn’t authentic.

Of course, I’ve still got a semi-meticulous travel budget. It’s not like I can get away from my upbringing that easily.

[photo credit: me!]

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Things I Learned From Traveling The World

posted 8th July 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Katharine, Life Lesson, Season 4, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

Six months ago, I made the decision to leave Philadelphia and travel the world.  I had no expectations and no set plan, except that I would spend at least one month living in Prague.

This journey around the world has taken me to Europe, Asia, and Australia and I’ve never been more confident or happier than I am right now.

Traveling for any extensive period of time truly changes your life.  It’s not easy.  You’ll face hurdles, discover hardships, cry, cry some more, and uncover things you didn’t know about yourself, but you have to allow yourself to change and grow during the journey.  This experience has a permanent place in my heart and the lessons I’ve learned along the way have given me a new perspective on life.

 

Here are some of the things I’ve learned on this journey:

Nothing is as scary as it seems. Boarding the plane to Prague was terrifying because I knew that once they shut the doors, there was no turning back.  Even if I hated living in a foreign country and teaching English, I would be stuck there for at least one month.  But looking back on it now, boarding that plane seems so easy.  You just have to take that first step.

[Most] Americans don’t know proper grammar. As a native English speaker and someone who aced English classes all throughout my education, I thought I knew all there was to know about the English language.  And then I took a grammar test on my first day of my TEFL course and failed.  Awesome. Prior to the course, I had no idea that verbs had forms.  Nor did I know about modal verbs, conditionals, or Present Perfect Future tense.  Sure, I was taught this back in grade school, but I never actually learned it.

Have patience.  This one was a tough lesson to learn, especially in teaching English as a second language.  Not every student will be quick to learn and when you live in or travel to a country with a language barrier, patience is essential during your interaction with others.

People are too connected and addicted to technology.  For the first two weeks that I lived in Australia, I didn’t have a cell phone.  Mainly because I didn’t plan on staying long enough to justify buying one, but also because I didn’t want one.  Those two weeks sans cell phone were wonderful because I didn’t feel forced to be connected to the Internet.

Last week, my boyfriend and I were sitting outside at a cafe in Surry Hills having brunch, and on both sides of us were couples plugged into their technology and not talking to each other.  For the entire hour we were there, they just sat and played with their iPads and iPhones and not saying a word.  Is this what the world’s come to now?! Put your phone away and have a real live conversation with the person sitting across from you.  I guarantee that you’re not missing out on anything on Facebook or Twitter during that hour. 

It’s okay to be selfish. This was a tough lesson to learn because I don’t consider myself a selfish person.  But sometimes when you travel around you have to be selfish.  I knew that the only way to make this experience truly wonderful and life-changing was to be selfish and put myself first in every decision that I made.  I mean, this is my journey, after all.  There’s nothing wrong with doing the things you want to do in life.

Don’t ever give up.  When my teaching contact in Thailand fell through, I wanted to pack my bags and return to America because I felt like I failed at trying to make it as an ESL teacher.  But I decided to stay in Australia and work through the struggle of finding students to tutor.  I’m now tutoring eight International students and providing private lessons to Backpackers.  It’s easy to throw in the towel when things get tough or when you fail, but it’s the tough moments and the failures that we learn the most from.

It’s never too late to start living your life the way you want to. I’ve always wanted to travel more.  I’ve always wanted to return to my Motherland.  I’ve always wanted to visit Australia.  Done, done, and done.  At 27, I’ve been to four continents.  By the time I’m 30, I will have visited all seven.  Why?  Because I want to. I know it’s scary and intimidating to think about all of the things you want do with your life, but it’s even scarier to know that you never tried. 

What have YOU learned from traveling?

{photo credit: all photos taken personally and collage created in Picnik}

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Remembering Who I Was

posted 27th March 2011    Written by: Juliana    CATEGORY: All Posts, Creativity, Inspiration, Juliana, Life Lesson, Season 4

The more I work on getting back in touch with the things I really love, the things that nourish my spirit and energize me, the more I realize that I used to be exactly who I want to be when I grow up.

When I was a kid, I made up songs and stories about everything from my stuffed animals to the daffodils along the sidewalk.  I set up forts in my closet and jumped from bed to chair to door to avoid the “lava” on the carpet. I did impressions and funny voices to entertain pets & family.

When I got sent to my room, I didn’t mind so much because that’s where the books were.
I laughed a lot. And I always had new ideas.

Now that I’m (supposedly) a grownup, the things I am trying to cultivate more of are writing, performing, imagination, and laughter. Coincidence?  Or was it much easier to be “myself” when I wasn’t as aware of other people?

As a child, I was floating around in my own little bubble a lot of the time. I have an older brother, but he’s about seven years older, which means we were both “only” children in a way. I spent a lot of time reading & writing, and even though I had plenty of friends, I often preferred alone time to playing in groups. Basically, I could be how I was without much influence from peer pressure.

The older I got, the more I was affected by societal expectations.  Though I was never really one of the girls, I did notice what girls were expected to be interested in, and expected to look and act like – and I noticed where I didn’t match up.  I gradually learned to confine certain hobbies & interests to their proper times and places (save the Robin Leach-style narration for Drama class, for example) instead of letting it all hang out whenever something occurred to me. Strange looks from peers and adults quickly convinced me that certain ideas, observations, and outbursts were not considered “normal”.  (I learned to pass for a regular person by keeping pretty quiet around people I wasn’t close to.)  Eventually, I learned to accept “weird” as a compliment, but still felt some shame about not being more like everyone else.

As an adult, I was supposed to have a normal, 9-5 job.  I was supposed to treat my creativity as a hobby that I might occasionally have time for.  I was supposed to be content with working at something I didn’t enjoy in order to do what I want when (if) I was able to retire.  I was supposed to want to watch three hours of “must see TV” every evening so I’d have something to talk about at the water cooler.

Well, doing all of that stuff didn’t make me happy.  And it certainly didn’t make me feel like Myself. I felt like a distorted image.  I looked and acted in a way that was mostly in line with my values…but just a little fuzzy, with the details blurred.

Part of my goal of radical self-love has been to spend more time alone to re-familiarize myself with my own mind. I have been writing in my journals a lot more, and writing for this blog has helped a bunch.  I’ve spent lots of time consciously avoiding too much input – TV, radio, social media – and instead spent some time in silence, listening to the thoughts that drift through unprompted.  I’ve found myself making up songs around the house, narrating the thoughts of my pets aloud, and reading books I’ve meant to read for a long time.   When I see my friends, I’m smiling a lot more and feeling less concerned with how I come across.  I’m sharing my authentic thoughts more easily.  I’m getting lots of great ideas about my new business.

In short, I’m becoming the person I used to be… and I like that kid a  whole bunch.

[photo credit: my dad]

(( Hey, did you know that Molly is doing a Scholarship Program right now??  If you’re going through your own Quarterlife Crisis you should definitely apply.  She’s a fun, compassionate and enthusiastic coach – an awesome person to have in your corner when you’re stuck. Go apply for the Scholarship coaching package right now!))

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Learning the Hard Way

posted 18th March 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Katharine, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

There are two kinds of people – those who learn the hard way and those who learn the easy way by taking someone’s advice.  I learn the hard way.  I’ve always learned the hard way because frankly, I’m too stubborn to learn the easy way.  I mean, how fun would that really be anyway?  If you tell me not to do something, chances are, I’m going to do it just to try to prove you wrong.

I waited for the perfect moment.  To change careers, move out of Philadelphia, and travel the world.  I had every excuse in the book not to quit my job and move to California or Chicago.

I can’t quit without having another job lined up.

I can’t leave my friends and family behind.

I can’t…

I can’t…

I can’t…

I learned the hard way that in life, there are no perfect moments.

It took losing my job, failing at entrepreneurship, and fighting a Quarterlife Crisis for me to learn that the ‘perfect moment’ is right now.  If I ever wanted to travel around the world and pursue my passion of opening up my own Bed & Breakfast, it was time to stop making excuses and start taking action.  Dreams don’t become reality unless you get off your ass and do something about it.

By the time you read this, I will have landed at Ruzyne International Airport jet-lagged, tired, hungry, and overwhelmed.

The hardest part is over: getting on that plane to London, enduring a 4 hour layover at Heathrow International, and then boarding my plane to Prague.

I had to travel halfway around the world to learn to stop making excuses for myself.  I had to let go of a foundation I spent years building to learn to stop settling for what feels comfortable and work harder toward achieving authentic happiness.  I had to fail at running a nonprofit organization to learn how to be an effective leader and a successful entrepreneur.  I had to sacrifice certain friendships and relationships – and just hope they survive the distance – to learn how to put myself first.  I had to lose my parents to learn the importance of family.   I had to lose my well-paying, comfortable job to learn that I don’t want the 9-5 Corporate lifestyle.  I had to walk away from everything I knew and loved, at a time when maybe I should have fought harder, to learn how important this truth-seeking journey is going to be.

Truth be told, I cannot believe I did this.  I mean, who packs their bags and moves halfway around the world to a city yet to be seen and a career yet to be tested?  It’s crazy, right?  But as crazy as it is to venture into the unknown with my heart wide open and my arms flailing, it feels effing awesome.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely terrified right now, and you have no idea how many anxiety attacks I had as I boarded that plane to London, but there’s just something so… exhilarating… about a clean slate.  Especially when that clean slate takes place in a city where no one knows your name.  It’s like a second chance at life.  A fresh start.  A chance to do things right.

I learned the hard way that sometimes you have to let go of everything in order to reclaim your life.

{photo credit: chesterfan1230}

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