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Everything Has Changed

posted 23rd August 2011 Written by: Heather Rae CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Season 2, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

Season Two bloggers back in the house. Heather Rae is catching us up on what has happened in her world over the last year. Hey, are you a Stratejoy Alum from Season 1-3? Wanna give the Tribe an update? We’d love to hear how you’re doing! E-mail katie (at) stratejoy (dot) com and we’ll hook you up with a guest post spot over the next week!

It seems ten years have passed since I last wrote for Stratejoy. Yet, it was just last year. Why? Because ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING has changed.

Seriously.

Had I known then the journey ahead, I probably would have crouched in a corner, head in hands, screaming and rocking. Sometimes it’s good we don’t know what’s in store.

When last we spoke, I had just moved to Seattle. I was settling into life with my fiance in a new city, making new friends. And then. Well, I’ll be honest. Then everything fell apart.

My seemingly perfect relationship ended a few months after moving. I found myself without a job, my ego bruised, my bank account near empty. I decided it was best to pack my car and drive home to Las Vegas. I lived with my brother (and if you know anything about my brother and I, that was a feat in itself) and searched for a job — any job. I was terrified. I had visions of crying outside in the rain on my friends’ doorsteps, begging for food.

Of course, that never transpired. My job search became a full-time endeavor. I literally sat myself in the office eight hours a day, revising and submitting my resume. It paid off. I got a few offers. Ultimately, I accepted a part-time teaching gig at a private high school and a part-time job with a local hospital.

Once my basic needs were under control, I started thinking again about what I really wanted. I still wanted to write (remember that novel I was working on?). But I also knew I needed to make a living. Seeing as how I no longer had another person to consider, I decided to dream big. If nothing could stop me, what would I do? I would return to school. I would join the Peace Corps. I would travel. I would write. I would dance. I would hike. I would make art.

Okay. So not that much changed. I sort of already knew these things. I figured, what the hell, why not try for everything? I applied to the Peace Corps. I applied to graduate school. And I kept up with the other things I love so much — hiking, writing, dancing, etc. Here’s one scenario I didn’t imagine: getting accepted to both places.

But that’s what happened. I got my acceptance letter from the School Psychology program at UNLV, and then the acceptance from the Peace Corps arrived. First, I jumped and giggled. Second, I stressed. Which should I choose? I didn’t know. So I’ll tell you what I did. I accepted both. Yes, I know that wasn’t very nice. Because one would be expecting me, and I wouldn’t follow through. But I just couldn’t choose. Not then anyhow.

And before I knew it, an entirely different possibility opened up. I was offered a full-time position at that school I worked at. It was a good offer. Plus, let’s be honest, a friend in Thailand had called me up and said I should visit over the summer. If I accepted the job, I would be free to run off for a summer-vacay without feeling guilty.

I quit the job at the hospital, accepted the offer with the school and ran to Southeast Asia about as fast as I possibly could. I had no plan and no idea what to expect. I barely had time to throw the guidebook in my backpack. I just went without thinking. And let me tell you — it was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

My adventures took me through Thailand, Laos and Cambodia. I got lost in jungles, marooned on deserted beaches, biked through ancient ruins and attacked by monkeys. It was amazing. Every. Single. Second. Even the bad stuff was phenomenal. Of course, I also fell head over heals for a close friend and got my heart broken. But what’s a good Thailand story without a little heartbreak?

On top of everything, I gained a little clarity. I signed up for grad school and said no to the Peace Corps.

Two months later, my return to the states was bittersweet. Honestly, I wasn’t quite ready. I could have carried on with my travels for months and months. But I had a job to return to, and most importantly, I had classes to start.

And that brings me to today. Today was my first day back at work. I spent the day cleaning my biology lab (can you believe I’m a biology teacher? I can’t.) and gushing over my trip. Next Monday, I start classes to become a school psychologist — a career that will allow me a fair amount of enjoyment, decent pay and phenomenal hours. That’s the kicker, really. Because I want every summer off to chase my dreams and travel. I want winter breaks to work on writing and spring breaks to attend yoga retreats. And when it comes to paying the bills, I can think of nothing better than to help students succeed. Yep, I think it’s going to be a win-win.

The path ahead is not going to be easy. I’ve likely over-booked myself. I’ve got full-time work and full-time school. And it’s quite possible I’ll lose my mind. But for right now, I’m exactly where I should be. I’m wallowing in heartache, scared to teach science and getting butterflies (the good kind) about returning to school. And I’m thankful for every moment. You see, that’s the thing about life – it’s perfectly imperfect.

Then, Now, and What’s Next

posted 29th July 2011 Written by: Katharine CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Katharine, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

Somehow over the last six months, I learned to connect the dots. Somewhere between the Czech Republic and Australia, I learned to fix the broken pieces and repair the damage.

It’s hard to believe that this is the last time I will write for Stratejoy. What an incredible journey its been.

Six Months Ago…

I was broken, damaged, depressed, and spiraling into a scary black hole. I had just lost my comfortable Corporate job and didn’t know what the next step was because no one prepared me for a devastating job loss. I decided that the only way I could save myself from an unhappy lifestyle was to leave it. So I packed my bags, said goodbye to friends and family, and moved to Prague to get certified to teach English as a second language.

There, I met 23 wonderful people from all over the world and discovered a new passion for education and for life. I struggled with language barriers, culture shock, and the stress of lesson planning, but I created some priceless memories in Prague that outweigh any negative feelings of the experience.

Of course, little did I know that that certificate would open so many doors for me and lead me on a journey of a lifetime.

Now…

I’m living in a 4-bedroom flat in Sydney, Australia that I share with three other men. I’m teaching private lessons and taking on more freelance writing projects. I’ve created a good friend-base in Sydney, connected with a blogger from back home who has been living here for over a year, reconnected with some friends from America whom I haven’t seen in a few years, and I’m in the healthiest relationship of my life.

I went sky diving, discovered forgiveness, and uncovered loneliness in the Land Down Under. I learned to cover the scars and open wounds with new adventures and experiences full of love, passion, and gratitude. I gained confidence in traveling solo. I shattered comfort zones and crossed boundaries. I struggled with language barriers and culture shock. But most importantly, I found happiness in Australia.

What’s Next…

I’m going bungee jumping in New Zealand in a few weeks and celebrating my 28th birthday in September in my new home with my new friends (and some old ones). I’m going to Cairns to see the Great Barrier Reef and this summer (or winter for all of you folk in America), I’m going to learn how to surf.

I’m planning trips to South Africa and South America in 2012 and I added “build a language school in Africa” to my life list.

I’m taking life by the balls and running with it. Wherever it takes me and whatever it throws at me, I’m going to face it all with courage and grace. I’m going to open my heart up to extraordinary possibilities and never look back.

Some Advice:

Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to, but that’s no reason to stop living for the moment. I know it’s hard, I know it can become overwhelming, depressing, and stagnant at times, but you have to keep pushing through it, figure out what you want to do with your life, and then go do it.

I won’t lie, it’s fucking scary as hell to leave everything you know and start over, but it’s even scarier to know that you never tried to make a change, chase your dream, quit your job, or travel the world. Stop settling for a mediocre life. Stop making excuses. Stop complaining about not being able to do certain things with your life. You can do whatever you want, but you have to have the will to try.

Start living with passion and intention. Start making a list of all of the things you want to do with your life and then go do them. Tomorrow is promised to no one. We only have today and we only have one life to be happy, live passionately, and smile intently. So, go out there and live your best life. And while you’re at it, ~~stalk me~~ stay in touch:

facebook | twitter | travel blog

Thank you to all of my readers for supporting me through this amazing experience. Thank you to my Season 4 Sisters for letting me share this experience with you. Thank you to Katie for all of the brainstorming g-chat sessions and ‘behind the scenes’ stuff that you do for Stratejoy. Thank you to Molly for creating Stratejoy, letting me be a part of Season 4, and empowering women to fight the QLC and take control of their lives.

Sending you all mad love from the wonderful world of Oz!

Heeding the Warnings of the Universe

posted 24th May 2011 Written by: Amanda CATEGORY: All Posts, Amanda, Family, Inspiration, Season 4, What I've Learned

Road trips with my parents have always been a highlight of my life, believe it or not. When I was little, my mom would drive our old Chevy Corsica and my dad would read us snippets of The Lord of the Rings. As we got older and the road trips got more infrequent, the time spent with my parents was relegated to whenever I had time to get back to my hometown (usually once a month or once every two months).

I have the best conversations with my dad when we get on the road. He tells me about his childhood (reminiscent and melancholic), about what he was like as a teenager, about what my mom was like when they were younger (they’ve been together since high school), and waxes poetic on the meandering madness of the universe in general.

We’ve talked at length about his conflicting ideologies — logic is King, yet the Universe is wise. During this particular trip (wherein my parents saved me from the arduous and lengthy Greyhound trip back to Vancouver), my dad and I talked about heeding the warnings on the universe.

When the universe gives you a big signal that you’re making a mistake, you do well to heed its warning. It only comes once. If you choose not to heed it, you’re going to be in for a world of hurt.

My Dad

Warnings and gifts seem to appear right when we least expect them to. It’s easy to misinterpret them as benign or unintrusive or devoid of meaning. Upon closer inspection (and introspection), these signals take on a different life. They have the potential to provide deeper meaning or insight into a given situation.

My first big warning from the universe was when I lost my job as a programmer. Strange as it was, it was easy to follow orders (and shove down my inner monologue) and do what I was told. There was no creative control. There was very little risk. It was comfortable. I could’ve continued my vocation, even though I was miserable. If I had just quit my job, I could’ve returned to being a programmer at any time. Maybe I would have.

But I heeded the universe. Through my very heartbreaking termination, it had warned me that I was heading in the wrong direction with my life.

The second big warning came just after my wedding. My relationship with Mike was, at best, strained. We struggled to keep up with our bills — financial solvency was a ways off, yet — and our communication was completely broken. We barely saw one another for a good four months while I whittled away at a degree that was ultimately doomed to failure. In 2009, Mike had decided that he was sick and tired of his current vocation as a programmer and wanted to become a police officer.

I was left reeling. Our relationship became even more strained (I didn’t think that was possible) and I struggled to keep it together while I felt like everything was falling apart. When the universe presented an opportunity (a gift, really) to go back to my hometown to figure it all out in peace, I took it. I spent four months piecing together what was wrong and struggled to find ways to repair the damage that had been done.

Our relationship wasn’t irreparable, even though at times it appeared to be. I was determined to make it work. I knew that a life without Mike wasn’t something I was prepared to indulge. So I fought for us. He fought for us. We slowly improved our communication, our sex life, and our financial situation. By the time my Autumnal Faceplant of 2010 came around, we were happy and at ease.

If not for the universe providing me an opportunity for growth — if I had stayed in Vancouver and muscled my way through my tumultuous feelings and damaged relationship full time — I might not be with Mike today. I certainly wouldn’t be expecting a baby in a month and a half. And I sure as shit wouldn’t be running a biznez.

Logically, I would’ve been able to figure all of these various issues out given enough time and energy. I might’ve been able to suffer through being a programmer for another couple of years while I figured out what I wanted to do, providing an extra paycheque during some particularly difficult financial situations. My relationship with Mike might’ve been okay had we gone through therapy together and employed another person’s insights into our issues (I’m a firm believer in the power of therapy, baby).

In actuality, I’m grateful for the universe looking out for me. I’ve known plenty of people that have been given the same opportunities and the same sorts of warnings but have failed to heed them over and over again.

The universe will only make its intentions known once, if you’re lucky. In my experience, it’s best to keep yourself open to possibility and try to learn from as many situations as you can. You never know when it all might come together and shine big and bright on your star.

Image found via Image Spark.

My Life Was An Optical Illusion

posted 9th February 2011 Written by: Laura CATEGORY: Laura, Season 4, What I've Learned

Let’s rewind about six months, to last summer. Here’s what my life looked like:

I was working too much. At my own business, which was a bonus, but still with a strive-achieve-produce mindset. I was going to yoga and loved how hard it was, but hadn’t yet begun to settle in to it. I was carrying 10 extra pounds that I hadn’t yet accepted and was cranky with the slow, hateful process of chasing a former, more fit version of me. I was discovering my passion for entrepreneurship and it was making me extremely restless. I wanted many projects, many businesses, many successes and I wanted them RIGHT NOW.

I was swirling with a desire to move forward, yet was held back by a longing to slow down.

That dichotomy – that feeling of being torn and not knowing which option you truly want – is why I’m here, sharing with all of you. Because I know I’m not the only one who battles with producing vs. creating, with pushing vs. being. I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t know how to balance achievement and peace, but really wants to figure it out.

The truth about my life six months ago is that it was an optical illusion.

It was drastically improved over the six months prior, when I was slaving away for a boss I didn’t respect, in an environment that constricted me, with no energy or patience left for myself or my loved ones. Compared to that, things looked good. Great, even. But when I looked past the illusion and called its bluff, I saw that I was still nowhere near being fulfilled.

I was nowhere near living authentically.

That realization sucked. It felt like the reveal of a big truth, like being told Santa Clause doesn’t exist. I think offering our unique gifts to the world is what life’s all about. Living my best life is important to me because it’s what I’m meant to do. But it’s not easy and it takes effort, and I just hadn’t been pulling my weight.

So in mid-August, I cracked open Stratejoy’s Gutsy Girl’s Guide to Success and dedicated an entire weekend to workshopping through it with my BFF. The questions it posed were tough, but the answers were invigorating and insightful. They left me with a clear picture of what being me looks like. Especially these ones:

I refer to those answers often, but I haven’t yet completed a plan for how to action them. I’m working on it and hope to share it with you soon. In the meantime, I’m committing to three things. Because I need to start somewhere. I need to leap and just trust that I’m going to land somewhere better.

Within the next six months I will:

1. Run a half marathon. I’ve ran half marathons before, but it’s been a few years. The discipline, commitment and time it takes feels unfamiliar to me now. But I want to remember the joy of running often and the exhilaration of running far. I want to feel my muscles really work. It makes me feel alive. So I’ve registered for a race on May 22nd.

2. Share my story with a group of women in my community. My journey to authenticity is only just beginning, but I’ve already learned a ton about owning up to who you are and are not, getting real about your dreams, creating a values-based business, and becoming passionate about your life. I want to combine those learnings into a compelling story I can present live, in person. I want to take my ability to inspire people to another level.

3. Watch the sunrise and like it. Sounds simple, but it’s not. It’ll require me to be taking care of myself enough that getting up before dawn feels good, not awful. It’ll require me to pause long enough to sit there, watch, and feel the beauty of a new day. That means not checking email or stressing about what I need to that day or rushing off somewhere immediately afterwards. No! I will sit, be, appreciate, and like every second of it.

[Note from Coach Molly: Oh, Laura, you and I are two sides of the same coin! When your striving grabs hold, you work harder. Push with bigger effort. When the striving grabs me, I get overwhelmed and frightened and tend to retreat... Neither will help us flourish in the ways we desire. Love, love, love that you are owning up to your tendency and how it is at odds with the life you want to lead. And I'm super psyched to support you with these three lovely goals, both here on the blog and in Group.]

{Photo credit: My vision board for 2011.}

Storytime

posted 19th January 2011 Written by: Nikki CATEGORY: All Posts, Creativity, Events, Inspiration, Nikki, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, What I've Learned

This week, we all came up with questions for each other; here are my answers:

1. What do you miss most about being a child?

The freedom of long summer days, running barefoot in the grass, creating universes out of my backyard, jumping and splashing and tumbling and swimming, un-selfconciously, entertaining myself easily and, when the stars came out, collapsing into an unworried sleep in the comforting arms of my mom or dad. Simple, loved, joyful.

2. What’s on your bedside table?

A glass of water (always), my phone, a holiday scented candle, a cute tile coaster from a set my cousin bought me, and two books: “The Highly Sensitive Person” and “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius” – yes I’m reading both. Also, sometimes my keys, deoderant & purfume live there for a bit when I’m too lazy to put them away.

3. When was the last time you were giddy with happiness, lost in one of those can’t-hold-back-a-smile kinda moments?

A cute guy I met sought me out & showed up unexpectedly a week later to ask for my number. I couldn’t stop smiling for at least an hour.

4. What are you most looking forward to in the next 6 months? (Besides reading awesome Season IV Bloggers!)

My movie coming out, my new & improved website launching, and whatever awesome adventures come my way this year!

5. What’s your hell like?

Hell is sitting in creeeeeeeping traffic on the 405 freeway, on a 100+ degree summer day, behind a stinky, brakes-squealing semi, no A/C, no water or food, the only radio stations I get are smooth jazz elevator music and Mexican mariachi bands, I’m dressed up for a big audition, which I’m seriously late for, I’m sweating like a whore in church, my phone’s dead, and I have to pee – bad. (Anyone else been there?)

6. What’s your heaven like?

Heaven is waking up to the person I most love in the world, laying in bed laughing for what feels like hours (but no time has passed), then wandering like a backpacker, with the wonder and in-the-moment awareness I feel most often when traveling, all the while constantly running into people I love & sitting and talking with them over unimaginably good food and drink. There’s a soundtrack of Jon Brion/Sigur Ros/Animal Collective -inspired-type music, it’s a sunny 80 degrees with no humidity, I’m 20s/30s young in a sundress, and I feel light and happy.

7. What’s the biggest lesson you’re taking away from the past 6 months with Stratejoy / how has the experience changed you?

I learned that there’s a community of women out there, incredible, strong, intelligent women, who I inspire as much as they inspire me. It’s given me confidence in my writing & made me feel like I really DO have things to say, and ways of saying them, that are important and relatable and that people besides my parents actually read!

8. What song lyrics fit your life, right now, at the beginning of this brand new year?

“The dog days are over / the dog days are done” – Florence and the Machine. Because things are only getting better from here on out.

9. If you had a time machine, what place and time would you travel to and why?

Assuming this machine was mine & I could use it as much as I wanted, I would go all over the place – the Original Woodstock, the Old Wild West, 1800s London, ancient Greece; I’d watch Stonehedge and the Pyramids get built. There are so many times in history I’d love to be a part of, or at least a fly on the wall, to see how life was really lived.

10. What is something that not a lot of people know about you that you wish more people could know?

Honestly, I’ve been thinking about this for 2 days & can’t think of anything. I wear my heart on my sleeve, y’all; if I need you to know it, I’ll tell you.

11. What surprised you the most about 2010?

Getting cast in a movie. It was completely out of the blue and a-freaking-mazing. As were all of the big adventures of 2010, and there were lots!

12. What’s the best present you’ve ever received?

This is tough… I guess my last computer (my first Mac & first laptop); not a very exciting answer but the truth.

13. Dream Job? Dream Home? Dream Vacation?

Dream job: Actor/Writer – steadily acting in interesting films and writing not only articles, but novels. Making a living creating, but still feeling balanced in every aspect of my life.

Dream home: A little old craftsman-style bungalow with a thriving garden in a residential area of a city. It’s within walking distance to a main street with shops & restaurants, in a safe area. I’ve updated it to use solar energy & be green; it’s small enough to feel cozy but large enough to have lots of parties. I have a studio in the backyard behind an old tree. There’s lavender planted in front of most of the windows so on a warm day with windows and doors open, the whole house smells amazing.

Dream vacation: Around the world. I want to go everywhere & see everything; it’d be so amazing to travel for a year or two & city, country, continent hop. If I have to choose one place, for right now, I’ll say Bali/Thailand; I want to expore the jungles & sit on the beach & see monkeys like stray cats everywhere.

14. Imagine your life was being made into a movie. What would the title be? Who would you pick to play you? What would the theme song be? How about the little trailer blurb for the advertisement?

Voiceover: “Just when she thought she had it all figured out, life stepped in with a plan of its own…” Montage set to “Swim Until You Can’t See Land” by Frightened Rabbit: Nikki Klecha (wait, what? I can’t play myself? Oh, ok.) Rachel McAdams bored at a desk, hiking a mountain, crying on a plane, laughing with friends, freaking out in anxiety, freaking out in joy, on a film set, grieving, celebrating, unsure, ending with a romantic moment cliffhanger then… fade to black and on the screen: Learning to Float.

[photo sources: book, Me on the red carpet in '09, dream house]

Archive

Everything Has Changed

Then, Now, and What’s Next

Six Months Ago…

Now…

What’s Next…

Some Advice:

Heeding the Warnings of the Universe

My Life Was An Optical Illusion

Storytime

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