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Life Imitates Yoga Class

posted 7th February 2012    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kat, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

I remember the day my hamstrings loosened. I have kind of a terrible memory, so naturally I don’t recall the exact date. But oh, the feeling. I was in a yoga class last summer, about five or six months after my teacher training began. As I moved into parsvottanasana – a forward bend that makes me want to punch things challenges me – I noticed that something felt different. That day, my hamstrings didn’t scream quite so much as they had been for months prior. That day, there was space to go a little deeper. I inhaled, straightening and lengthening my spine. I exhaled, folding forward just a little more than I ever had before. It might only have been one-quarter or one-half of an inch, but there it was. Something had shifted, and I was present, breathing, noticing.

Now I have a confession: I didn’t accomplish any of the goals I set for myself way back when in my third post.

In my first few drafts of this post, I wrote an explanation here about why I didn’t complete them. But you know what?

It doesn’t matter.

I wasn’t ready.

Am I now? I think so.

Five months after the beginning of my Stratejoy journey, I’m getting that same feeling in my life as I did with my hamstrings last summer. There’s space now. Things are shifting.

* * * * *

Five months. 15 countries (including the United States and Canada). 37 beds, couches, futons, armchairs, air mattresses, and uncomfortable, questionably clean train seats. Thousands of photographs.

Have I changed? Good lord, yes.

How have I changed? That’s…more involved.

There are the obvious things, of course. I’m no longer working a 9-5 job. I no longer live in Brooklyn; my residence is still transient. I’ve put on weight. I drink coffee now, and I don’t spend as much time on the internet. I no longer hit snooze ten times when Joan Jett yells, “I don’t give a damn ’bout my bad reputation!” in my ear.

The more subtle stuff is harder to nail. Some days, I still feel stuck in the same patterns in which I’ve found myself for years. Other days, I feel like a new person. I frequently find myself feeling so fucking grateful for people, places, and moments that I want to explode with joy. I’m more at peace; I’ve shaken that stressed-out-hurry-hurry-frequently-annoyed attitude that I picked up during my six years in NYC. And overall, I’m feeling truly empowered and happy. I’m sure that there are other things, but those are the ones that I’ve figured out how to verbalize so far.

It seems that the nomadic lifestyle mostly works for me.

* * * * *

While preparing to write this, I took a look at my values from The Joy Equation, which I mentioned in my second post.

Connection. Bliss. Abundance. Trust. Adventure. Courage. Magic. Strength. Without even planning it, I’ve ended up posting about each of those over the past five months. I love when it’s suddenly clear that I’m on the right track, even when I hadn’t been planning every detail.

Seeing in concrete terms that I’m now living my core values feels really fucking amazing.

* * * * *

Though my time writing in this space ends with this post, my journey will continue. Today I’m on a flight back to New York. That was definitely not part of the original plan – but then again, neither was staying in Europe until February. I wanted time for yoga, tattoos, my favorite foods, and friends and family.

And then: Australia. I’m sad to leave Europe, and at the same time, I’m ready to develop a routine again. I’m excited to meet Kate and other new friends, and pumped to start teaching yoga again. I’m gearing up for summer, kickboxing classes, and maybe learning how to surf!

I hope you’ll continue following my adventure:

twitter: shinyredtype
facebook: pierced hearts and true love
blog: piercedheartsandtruelove.com
yoga teaching schedule: katselvocki.com

Thank you all for being a part of my QLC! And as Edward Abbey wrote, “May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.”

[photo credit: my friend and travel buddy, Jenni]

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My Values Evaluation

posted 8th June 2011    Written by: Laura    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Laura, Season 4

As part of working my way through Molly’s Joy Equation, I spent some time thinking about my values. This seriously challenged my assumptions and got me thinking.

I’m pretty reflective and try to be in tune with my desires and instincts. In fact, I’ve been trying to do this more and more for the past 18 months. But when faced with having to choose no more than eight values from an infinite number of possibilities, I really had to pause.

I thought I knew what my values were. But then I realized, I can value the presence of pretty much anything – people, experiences, emotions, objects – but My Values should be like beacons of light guiding me and informing my choices.

They are a critical part of who I am as a person. And when I was forced to really think about it, it was a really refreshing and revealing activity. All a sudden, thinking of something as one of My Values gave it a lot more weight and importance.

It’s like, there’s a difference between your heart appreciating something and your soul needing it, you know?

I’m happy to share with you where I landed, for no other reason than I hope it gets your wheels turning about your own values, and brings them to the forefront of your mind today.

1.) Courage – This was a bit of a shocker, I’m not gonna lie. All of my time spent being assertive, bold and decisive now makes So.Much.More.Sense! What’s even more exciting is the realization that, to me, courage encompasses a lot of things. It’s about taking risks, absolutely, but it’s also about having an open mind, inner strength and trust in myself and the universe. It’s about being compassionate and empathetic. And mostly, it’s about having a willingness. It’s about not being motivated by fear. Seriously, now that I’ve pinpointed it, I really can’t imagine living in the absence of courage.

2.) Creativity – I don’t necessarily need to be an artist in order to honour creativity. I just need to write, ideate, brainstorm, and make stuff – from crafts to cookies. I need to have fun with colour. Whether by wearing a bright scarf or writing a business plan in markers. Colour feeds my soul. Honouring creativity also means pushing boundaries, keeping perspective, and listening to my intuition. Those are important ways of nurturing creativity from the inside out.

3.) Exploration – Ahhh, yes! This is all about my inquisitive, curious little mind! It’s about my thirst for new experiences and challenges, and for learning, trying, and doing. It’s why I love reading, and movies, and travelling. It’s why I love action and it’s why I get impatient. Not because I’m anxious to produce and accomplish. I’m just hungry to dig, see, listen, and EXPLORE.

4.) Family – This one is on many of your lists, I’m sure. What was important for me to realize is that family, as a Value, isn’t just about the people and pets in it. It’s about intimacy, compromise, consideration, loyalty, connection, and commitment. It’s the feelings and comfort that being part of a family brings. Those are the things I need to respect and create space and time for.

5.) Laughter - A bit of a no brainer, for me, anyway. All of the things that lead me to laughter, like playfulness, interactions with others, adventure and a relentlessly positive outlook, are things I simply wouldn’t want to live without. When I stop having any fun, I’m doing something way, way wrong.

6.) Originality – From the time I was a little girl, I’ve loved doing things my way. I was blow drying my own hair before I was even out of a crib…seriously. Maybe that was because I was stubborn and a bit controlling, even then. But I’d like to think it was also because I love expressing myself, and feeling confident and self assured. Now, as an adult, I adore dreaming, doing things differently, and working on ways to be more me. Losing my sense of originality would be a fast track to misery.

7.) Freedom – This is a funny value to have when I live in a completely free country, with a completely supportive network of family and friends. What about my life isn’t free? That’s why I left it out at first. But words like freedom and flexibility were calling to me from the page. And then I realized, part of the reason I’m so, so grateful for where I live and who I live here with is that I absolutely adore being free to make choices and seek out variety. I love the growth, possibility and independence that a sense of freedom affords me. And so, it made the cut.

8.) Vitality – My obsession with exercise, nutrition and health? And my intense disappointment when I’m not incorporating those things into my day to day (like recently)? Yeeeaaah, it totally comes back to the fact that I really, truly value vitality. And I can’t even tell you how much I love “vitality” as the word of choice. I get to wrap the concepts of energy, physical fitness, conscious eating, clarity of mind, inspiration, solitude, rest, peace, balance, and presence in the moment into one beautiful package! Vitality! Hell yes! Put a bow on that one!

Values are subject to change, as life evolves and priorities shift, I know. But I’m feeling so good about  having gone through this process, and really enlightened by it. If you haven’t spent time doing this type of exercise in a while – or ever! – I highly recommend it.

And of course, I’d love to hear what some of your values are in the comments below!


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Stop and Make a Mental Picture

posted 16th January 2011    Written by: Lindsey    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Life Lesson, Lindsey, Season 3, What I've Learned

In the past six months I have undergone radical transformations in my life – from living at home to living on a sailboat in the Bahamas – from ultimate worry about my path to peaceful acceptance of my present situation – from Quarterlife Crisis to an optimistic outlook.

A few months back, I had a realization. I could sit around dwelling on the fact that I was in a “crisis” OR I could choose to celebrate everything in my life, including this period of unknown (which, I got news for ya, I have YEARS of unknown in front of me and that is okay with me! Sort of!!) When I freak out about the coulds and shoulds of my life, I have to remind myself that I am carving out my OWN path, that not one person out there is living this life – it’s MINE – and there is no such thing as what I should be doing, there is only this moment, and my choice of whether I live happily in it.

Molly posted 30 Tips for an Extraordinary Life a few weeks ago and I saved it to my computer. It’s that good. If we all chose to live by these rules, life would be seriously amazing. The one that stuck out to me: “Get clear on your core values. Honor them daily.” My core values were shriveled up in a drawer. Not honoring them daily, that’s for sure. When I peeked at them again, I wasn’t sure how core those values were to me anymore. But how to get clear?

Last year I hit a rut, and my friend suggested I make a mind map. Like the little clouds and bubbles that graphically show your mind on paper. I thought he was being kind of silly – it seemed like grade school stuff. But I did it. And it helped. So much.

Since then, whenever I feel confused about anything, it’s my favorite tool to get myself together. I moved home from beautiful Lake Tahoe, California to live with my parents in small-town Michigan based on a revelation I had while making a mind map. It’s so funny – I was rereading some old journals and one day I was sooo confused about everything, but sure that Tahoe was the place for me. Then I made a mind map that night and the next day I was making arrangements to move home. And that was it. That was the moment I decided to move. Because of some silly clouds and bubbles.

Whenever I get stuck, I always turn back to my mind mapping technique. As the new year came and went I had a hard time deciding what exactly I planned to achieve in the coming year. I love love LOVE my life right now – and I am so incredibly fulfilled in many ways – but I came to a big, confused roadblock when I throught about my relationship and career goals. Mainly because I’m living in my own bubble right now, with no relationships or careers.

I turned to the Joy Plan I finished in August and reassessed my core values. Some of them stayed true, but some I didn’t feel quite resonated with me anymore. I turned back to a blank sheet and mapped out my mind. Using this, and some past maps, I redefined my core values into 8 segments that I FEEL with passion. Some stayed the same, some broke down into separate branches, some changed names to better reflect what I truly value.

Now that I’ve done it, I have 8 values that live in my heart, that I think of and try to honor every day.

Love of Self
Gratitude
Connection
Bliss
Intellect
Health
Productiveness
Value

I know why I feel so fulfilled in areas of my life – I’m working on Love of Self through daily practices, Gratitude through a regular journal, Bliss through living in the moment in the beautiful Bahamas, Intellect through learning new skills and reading amazing books every day, Health through staying active and eating well. I know why I felt lost in my relationships and careers – because I wasn’t honoring my values of Connection, Productiveness & Value on a daily (or EVER) basis. Getting clear on these values gave me a whole new perspective – keep on this path (5/8 ain’t bad!) but work towards honoring all 8, daily.

For those of you that have done the Joy Plan, I encourage you to reflect on your core values a few months afterwards and see how you are living with them. For those of you who haven’t got a Joy Plan, you should totally check it out (I love mine, I travel with it!), but at least sit down and make sure you have core values to guide your life. Try making a map of your mind. Start with your name as the center, and make spokes of the things that are important to you, the things you value now, the things you want to have in your ideal daily life. It’s fun, and sometimes incredibly revealing. And if you do something crazy afterwards, I wanna hear about it!

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Meaning in the Mountains

posted 10th September 2010    Written by: Alisha    CATEGORY: Alisha, Family, Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

I went to Colorado to get away–to vacate.  I went to breathe the fresh air, worship the mountains, drink in the sunsets.  I went to love.  I went to share.  I went to be inspired.  I went to be still.

Instead, my days were filled with tension.  My Blackberry wasn’t on my hip, but I could hear it buzzing in my purse.  Each morning I woke up well before dawn, unable to sleep, anxious about work.

About three months ago I was propositioned by a friend to work with her on a new retail e-commerce business.  She emailed me the role and its responsibilities.  It all seemed so overwhelming so I asked her for a few days to think it over.  My gut told me to say “no”.  Intuition told me that my day-job as a stay-at-home mom was just too intense at the moment to take on another time-consuming project.  However, my mind wanted to reason with me.  It promised to deliver big in the money department; I saw the potential and the money-hungry part of me responded.  It gently coaxed me into accepting the position.  I ignored my gut–my intuition–and I have paid dearly for it.

Though I am proud of what I have accomplished in my role (contract negotiations, copywriting, hiring interns, accounting), it came with great sacrifice.  I let it hijack my life.  The time I used to spend on my morning pages was replaced with reconciling emails.  I have not written in my blog in almost three weeks and I have not read any of them either.  Time spent at the park was instead spent indoors writing copy.  Playdates were shortened or eliminated; dry-cleaning was forgotten; loads of laundry sat in corners and in closets unfolded.  If I was sleep deprived before, I was even more so now.  Coffee intake increased in order to compensate for the late-night hours I spent researching,writing, emailing.

I kept telling myself that this was only temporary; that I just needed to put in this time now in order for the reward later.   But my kids weren’t happy.  My husband wasn’t happy.  I wasn’t happy.   Around the time I started to finally accept this, was about the same time I finished up Week 1 of The Joy Equation.  As I sat there and looked at my core values (Authenticity, Abundance, Connection, Family, Freedom, Integrity, Spirituality, Trust) I realized that the way I was living my life at the moment was not in accordance with those values.  I didn’t want to quit; I had made a committment after all.

But finally, after tossing and turning for the first 4 nights of my 6-night vacation, I sent a letter to my friend requesting a decrease in responsibilities.  It was granted.  The last two nights I slept like a baby.

There was something about those mountains…. Their beauty, their strength, the stories they tell.  In a way, they reminded me of myself–of what I hope to be: a story-teller, strong, majestic, inspiring.  In those mountains I found some strength to set a boundary, to acknowledge what does and does not work in my life, and the courage to change it.  Let this be a recurring theme.

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Morning Bliss: The Best Part of Waking Up

posted 3rd September 2010    Written by: Alisha    CATEGORY: Alisha, All Posts, Family, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, Tips & Tools, Travel, Travel/Adventure

Each morning I rise, give praise for the rays of light.  Sun salutations, cat poses, savasanas.  The warmth of the chai spreads through my chest, into my arms, down my legs.  The air inside is still; the only noise I hear is the gentle hum of the refridgerator as it toils to keep the food cold during these dog days of summer.  With a pen in hand, I scribble all my thoughts and dreams from the days before.  Every penstroke is a gentle caress on the smooth, vanilla bean paper.  My head and heart empty, ready to recieve the gifts the present day may bring.

O. M. G.  I wish.  This is how it really goes down:

Right around dawn, my daughter screams.  She doesn’t whimper, she doesn’t cry.  She screams at the top of her lungs.  I nurse her, lay her back down in her crib and cross my fingers and toes in hopes that I can get just forty-five more minutes of sleep.  I make it back to my own bed, curl up into the fetal position and pull the blankets over my head.  32 minutes pass by and at 6:47 a.m. she is ready to begin her day.  I change her diaper, get the coffee started (extra-strong please!), make her oatmeal, wash a few dishes and sweep the floor as I wait for my son to emerge.  At 7:02 a.m. he stumbles into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and muttering something about dinosaurs.  He demands animal crackers for breakfast.

“I don’t think so little man.  How about cereal and milk?” I ask him sweetly.

“Mmmmm.  Eh-eh.  Animals.”

“Toast and butter?”  I say as I look him sternly in the eye.

“Eh-eh!  Animals!”

“No.  Cereal and milk or toast and butter?”  Hunched over and with a raised eye-brow, I repeat his options.

“Animals!  Animals!  Animals!” he protests while jumping up and down, much to the dismay of the neighbors below, I am sure.

I mean, really.  I have not had any coffee yet, I am still in my underwear–literally–and at only 7:08 in the morning, Time Out Number 1 is underway.  It is totally not the zen-filled morning I so desperately crave.  Take this morning, repeat it 4 days a week, and multiply it by 52 weeks in a year.  That equals 208.  208 out of 365 days of my year start out this way.  So it is no wonder that when I dream about my “perfect” life, I am usually alone.

According to my therapist, this is because I don’t vacate.  I do not make the time to do those things in which I take delight.  So this week, I am taking my therapist’s advice and vacating.  Well, vacating as much as I possibly can with a husband and two kids.  We are off to Colorado, my friends!  Seven days and six nights away from home, in the bright sunshine and crisp mountain air.  And while I am there, I will make time for myself.  This is not a plan, this is a promise.  I am making a promise to be kind to myself…to allow myself to vacate (at least a teensy little bit) because I know that upon my return I will be renewed, refreshed, regenerated.

I recently finished working through Week 1 of The Joy Equation and I had a breakthrough.  It was the kind of breakthrough that made me feel strong, empowered, brave, ready to take on the world with clearer vision.  You see, at the end of Week 1, I made a list of 8 core values.  Molly calls our core values ”the Habits of our Heart.”  She couldn’t be more right.  Through Week 1′s exercises I realized that a lot of the pain and suffering I had experienced over the last five or six years was kind of my own fault: I made choices that discounted my intuition and casted my values aside.  (Okay, that and the whole bi-polar thing too.)  It was a slap in the face, but I welcomed it.

I decided that I was ready for some fun again. I want to get back to a little bit of that old “Alisha”.  Old Alisha was fun, a little more free, and a lot happier.  So, on this vacation, I am going to vacate my old ways; I am going to reintegrate my core values into my life and into my choices.  I think life will be more fun that way.

photo credit

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