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Morning Bliss: The Best Part of Waking Up

posted 3rd September 2010    Written by: Alisha    CATEGORY: Alisha, All Posts, Family, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 3, Tips & Tools, Travel, Travel/Adventure

Each morning I rise, give praise for the rays of light.  Sun salutations, cat poses, savasanas.  The warmth of the chai spreads through my chest, into my arms, down my legs.  The air inside is still; the only noise I hear is the gentle hum of the refridgerator as it toils to keep the food cold during these dog days of summer.  With a pen in hand, I scribble all my thoughts and dreams from the days before.  Every penstroke is a gentle caress on the smooth, vanilla bean paper.  My head and heart empty, ready to recieve the gifts the present day may bring.

O. M. G.  I wish.  This is how it really goes down:

Right around dawn, my daughter screams.  She doesn’t whimper, she doesn’t cry.  She screams at the top of her lungs.  I nurse her, lay her back down in her crib and cross my fingers and toes in hopes that I can get just forty-five more minutes of sleep.  I make it back to my own bed, curl up into the fetal position and pull the blankets over my head.  32 minutes pass by and at 6:47 a.m. she is ready to begin her day.  I change her diaper, get the coffee started (extra-strong please!), make her oatmeal, wash a few dishes and sweep the floor as I wait for my son to emerge.  At 7:02 a.m. he stumbles into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes and muttering something about dinosaurs.  He demands animal crackers for breakfast.

“I don’t think so little man.  How about cereal and milk?” I ask him sweetly.

“Mmmmm.  Eh-eh.  Animals.”

“Toast and butter?”  I say as I look him sternly in the eye.

“Eh-eh!  Animals!”

“No.  Cereal and milk or toast and butter?”  Hunched over and with a raised eye-brow, I repeat his options.

“Animals!  Animals!  Animals!” he protests while jumping up and down, much to the dismay of the neighbors below, I am sure.

I mean, really.  I have not had any coffee yet, I am still in my underwear–literally–and at only 7:08 in the morning, Time Out Number 1 is underway.  It is totally not the zen-filled morning I so desperately crave.  Take this morning, repeat it 4 days a week, and multiply it by 52 weeks in a year.  That equals 208.  208 out of 365 days of my year start out this way.  So it is no wonder that when I dream about my “perfect” life, I am usually alone.

According to my therapist, this is because I don’t vacate.  I do not make the time to do those things in which I take delight.  So this week, I am taking my therapist’s advice and vacating.  Well, vacating as much as I possibly can with a husband and two kids.  We are off to Colorado, my friends!  Seven days and six nights away from home, in the bright sunshine and crisp mountain air.  And while I am there, I will make time for myself.  This is not a plan, this is a promise.  I am making a promise to be kind to myself…to allow myself to vacate (at least a teensy little bit) because I know that upon my return I will be renewed, refreshed, regenerated.

I recently finished working through Week 1 of The Joy Equation and I had a breakthrough.  It was the kind of breakthrough that made me feel strong, empowered, brave, ready to take on the world with clearer vision.  You see, at the end of Week 1, I made a list of 8 core values.  Molly calls our core values ”the Habits of our Heart.”  She couldn’t be more right.  Through Week 1′s exercises I realized that a lot of the pain and suffering I had experienced over the last five or six years was kind of my own fault: I made choices that discounted my intuition and casted my values aside.  (Okay, that and the whole bi-polar thing too.)  It was a slap in the face, but I welcomed it.

I decided that I was ready for some fun again. I want to get back to a little bit of that old “Alisha”.  Old Alisha was fun, a little more free, and a lot happier.  So, on this vacation, I am going to vacate my old ways; I am going to reintegrate my core values into my life and into my choices.  I think life will be more fun that way.

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Finding Balance through my Core Values

posted 3rd March 2010    Written by: Heather Rae    CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2

I’ve gone from one extreme to the next.

The first couple of weeks after leaving my day job, I felt unorganized, somewhat scattered.  I had difficulty managing my time, and I wasn’t focusing on my writing projects as much as I would have liked.

With a little effort, I found a few ways to turn that around.  I started getting up early and setting specific times that I had to get work done.  I closed the door and thus closed myself off from the world.

I worked, worked, worked.

Moving from underproductive to uber productive was seriously exciting.  I got SO much done.  I stayed up late and got up early.  I had energy.  I felt exhilarated.  I re-launched my personal blog, In Search of Squid, got a lot of prewriting done on the novel, and started pumping out blog posts.

I was on fire.

But now, I’ve hit the other side of that wall.  I am in desperate need of balance.

You see, last week, I crashed.  I had been getting up early and going to bed late.  Even when taking a break for dinner or catching up with the fiancé, I had the computer on my lap, and I was responding to blog comments or working on a writing project.  General exhaustion and a lack of sleep then took over.  I couldn’t sit down to write without my eyelids drooping and feeling the need to take a nap.

Now, this has been my first experience working for myself.  I’ve never tried to do this before.  And let me tell you, striking a balance between work and all the rest is seriously harder than it looks. My work life and home life have now merged.  How does one handle this while maintaining a healthy balance of work, rest and play?

Enter, The Joy Equation.

I had been working through Molly’s Thirty Day Guide to Living Life on Purpose for the past few weeks.  Well, let me be more accurate, I’d working on it a little and thinking about working on it a lot.  Every time I picked it up, I felt guilty for taking time away from my writing projects.  I would eventually set it down with the idea that I could always do more later.

Then, the week of droopy eyelids and utter exhaustion came into play.  I realized I needed to slow down.  I needed a little perspective and some fresh ways to approach working on my own.

I spent last weekend pondering, journaling and planning.  I took a look at what really matters to me and sought new ways to maintain a sense of calm, wellness and balance in my life.

While doing this, I sat down and listened to the first audio session of The Joy Equation.  Molly walked me through a guided meditation, then a series of questions and exercises aimed at getting me to unearth my core values.  I attempted to figure out – what do I really care about; what values resonate with me; what truly matters?

In the past, I’ve tried to make time to consider my personal core values, and I’ve attempted to align my life in such a way as to be true to myself.  I can’t recommend this practice enough.  It’s powerful.  It opens doors and allows you to see your life in a whole new way.  What I love about Molly’s approach is that she really has you work it out.  You ask questions, you answer questions, you put it all in writing.

You set intentions for the week, and you find creative ways to really make it work for you.

Sometimes I just need a little nudge, something to give me permission to take time out for myself.  This was exactly the nudge I needed.  I’ve been so focused on doing the work I love, that I nearly forgot the many other things in life that matter to me too. Identifying my core values helped me to remember this.

In looking at those values, I noticed one thing that continued to show up – my love for being outside and in nature.  I really enjoy things like walking, hiking and camping.  I love fresh air and green trees and the sight of the ocean.

And then I realized something – I rarely make time to do this.

Why?  I’m not sure.  I think sometimes we get lost in ourselves, in our daily lives.  We forget to do those things that bring us joy, especially when it takes a little extra time, effort or attention.

So I’m taking a cue from my Joy Plan; I’m setting an intention for the week.  And that intention is simply to go on a hike.

According to Lao Tzu, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”  My journey is to connect with my true, authentic self.  In cultivating the powerful habits that will bring me to that authentic self, I must take small steps to get there.  This is simply one of those small steps.

I’m also making a commitment to myself:  each week, I’ll re-look at my core values. Whichever jumps out at me as something I’ve been overlooking, I’ll take action, and I’ll plan something that honors that value for the week.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  What are some things you do to maintain balance in your own life?

photo credit: janusz l

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