Archive

Northwest Dust Bunnies

posted 14th January 2010    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Marisa, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1, What I've Learned

When I first moved to Oregon almost 10 years ago, I was stunned by the massive amounts of dust that collected inside a home.  Sure, I lived in a prison cell sized dorm room with another person in super close proximity, but still, it was shocking. It continued when I moved into a larger house with roomies after moving out of the dorms…  Those dust bunnies amassed to dust bunny armies, way more than what I was used to in Nevada.

It caused a new tradition of sorts every year.

I clean during the winter: clean to get rid of that dust, get rid of material items that weigh me down, and get rid of the dust that settles figuratively in my head.

I’ve had a lot of dust these past years, most of it I’ve swept underneath the carpet only to have it pile up and cloud my mind recently.

This year’s clean out is especially special. It’s the one wear I honestly look around my surroundings and make some decisions to affect this single life of mine.

So far I’ve been able to materialistically place a very neat pile of items on the North side of my apartment.  This fort of past wonders is for Goodwill and contains the 2008 & 2009 Marisa of unused clothes and furniture that could be of better use for someone else.  It’s funny giving up these items; they contain memories of where and when I bought them but hold no sentimental value really.  They are in fact just things and I’m learning that heavy materialism is no longer a part of my vocabulary. In fact, things look lighter and more open, just as hardwood floors should.

That was the easy part– moving furniture, sweeping floors and using citrus polish to make things look pretty and shiny.

What’s hardest for me is shaking all that dust that I’ve collected emotionally over the years. I can admit now that being up here for the past three years without experiencing any real romantic relationship with someone has been well, lonely.  I swept myself to the side, always excusing my life with reasons like a heavy workload, only finding insanely lazy Portland guys and the worst of all, the worst thing a young woman can do to herself, succumbing to a lack of confidence, that low self-esteem that says I was not worthy of finding such happiness.

But no more!  I’m going to do it.  I’m taking that layer of dust off, swiffering myself with a new environmentally friendly, cranberry scented cleanser, and I’m changing and challenging things starting NOW. I’ve been building up to it too-going on dates, meeting new people, figuring out exactly what I want and hopefully what I need.

It’s going to be difficult I think, to stay shiny and dust-free for a bit.  And I’m bound to meet some more dusty guys, but hey, Spring-cleaning is only three months away.

I can totally do a quick swiffer then.  Just in time for SXSW.

divider