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My Life Was An Optical Illusion

posted 9th February 2011 Written by: Laura CATEGORY: Laura, Season 4, What I've Learned

Let’s rewind about six months, to last summer. Here’s what my life looked like:

I was working too much. At my own business, which was a bonus, but still with a strive-achieve-produce mindset. I was going to yoga and loved how hard it was, but hadn’t yet begun to settle in to it. I was carrying 10 extra pounds that I hadn’t yet accepted and was cranky with the slow, hateful process of chasing a former, more fit version of me. I was discovering my passion for entrepreneurship and it was making me extremely restless. I wanted many projects, many businesses, many successes and I wanted them RIGHT NOW.

I was swirling with a desire to move forward, yet was held back by a longing to slow down.

That dichotomy – that feeling of being torn and not knowing which option you truly want – is why I’m here, sharing with all of you. Because I know I’m not the only one who battles with producing vs. creating, with pushing vs. being. I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t know how to balance achievement and peace, but really wants to figure it out.

The truth about my life six months ago is that it was an optical illusion.

It was drastically improved over the six months prior, when I was slaving away for a boss I didn’t respect, in an environment that constricted me, with no energy or patience left for myself or my loved ones. Compared to that, things looked good. Great, even. But when I looked past the illusion and called its bluff, I saw that I was still nowhere near being fulfilled.

I was nowhere near living authentically.

That realization sucked. It felt like the reveal of a big truth, like being told Santa Clause doesn’t exist. I think offering our unique gifts to the world is what life’s all about. Living my best life is important to me because it’s what I’m meant to do. But it’s not easy and it takes effort, and I just hadn’t been pulling my weight.

So in mid-August, I cracked open Stratejoy’s Gutsy Girl’s Guide to Success and dedicated an entire weekend to workshopping through it with my BFF. The questions it posed were tough, but the answers were invigorating and insightful. They left me with a clear picture of what being me looks like. Especially these ones:

I refer to those answers often, but I haven’t yet completed a plan for how to action them. I’m working on it and hope to share it with you soon. In the meantime, I’m committing to three things. Because I need to start somewhere. I need to leap and just trust that I’m going to land somewhere better.

Within the next six months I will:

1. Run a half marathon. I’ve ran half marathons before, but it’s been a few years. The discipline, commitment and time it takes feels unfamiliar to me now. But I want to remember the joy of running often and the exhilaration of running far. I want to feel my muscles really work. It makes me feel alive. So I’ve registered for a race on May 22nd.

2. Share my story with a group of women in my community. My journey to authenticity is only just beginning, but I’ve already learned a ton about owning up to who you are and are not, getting real about your dreams, creating a values-based business, and becoming passionate about your life. I want to combine those learnings into a compelling story I can present live, in person. I want to take my ability to inspire people to another level.

3. Watch the sunrise and like it. Sounds simple, but it’s not. It’ll require me to be taking care of myself enough that getting up before dawn feels good, not awful. It’ll require me to pause long enough to sit there, watch, and feel the beauty of a new day. That means not checking email or stressing about what I need to that day or rushing off somewhere immediately afterwards. No! I will sit, be, appreciate, and like every second of it.

[Note from Coach Molly: Oh, Laura, you and I are two sides of the same coin! When your striving grabs hold, you work harder. Push with bigger effort. When the striving grabs me, I get overwhelmed and frightened and tend to retreat... Neither will help us flourish in the ways we desire. Love, love, love that you are owning up to your tendency and how it is at odds with the life you want to lead. And I'm super psyched to support you with these three lovely goals, both here on the blog and in Group.]

{Photo credit: My vision board for 2011.}

How To Create Your Personal Theme

posted 17th January 2011 Written by: Molly Mahar CATEGORY: Creativity, Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

So, it’s 19 days into January…. How is 2011 so far? Loving it? Hating it? Just surviving?

You may have already created your New Years Resolutions, or personal goals, or even chosen a word for 2011. But if you haven’t settled on a theme, a guiding intention for your year- I’ve got a free 55 minute call to help you out!!

Yes. You asked for it. A recording of the Theme Call!

After sharing this call with over 70 amazing women last Tuesday, I wanted to make it available to all of you who missed it, especially after I got this adorable email that night.

If these 55 minutes can give you any sort of epiphanies or aha moments… My job is complete!

Hi Molly,

It was wonderful to hear your voice again – it always makes me smile. The call tonight was really great, and definitely got some wheels turning in my head.

Coming out of 2010 I knew I wanted to make changes so that 2011 will be an AMAZING year, but I hadn’t gotten too far past that. But tonight, when you said to ask “What is it time for?”, something just clicked. The only thing I could think about was how I need to stop trying to live up to other people’s expectations (real or perceived) of me, and just be Mandy (whoever she turns out to be!). Which explains why I never got beyond wanting to make change, but not knowing how.

I’ve always lived my life trying to exceed the expectations of those around me – parents, teachers, friends, bosses. And in doing so, I’ve essentially allowed myself to be swayed by their opinions and essentially got them to make most of my decisions for me. It served me well growing up, but now it’s stopping me from living up to my potential.

I’m going to keep working on the wording of my theme, but I know that it’s going to revolve around me making decisions because they make me feel happy, excited, energized, motivated. 2011 is going to be a year of discovering who I am today. Getting curious about what makes my heart sing and then adding more of it into my life. I definitely think that by adding more positivity all around, the negativity and self-doubt and fear of failure will slowly get pushed out. There’s so much opportunity out there, but I can’t fully go after it until I start taking pride in myself and my accomplishments.

And…I’m just feeling really empowered right now. All thanks to you! I can’t wait for our paths to cross again (hopefully sooner rather than later).

xoxo, Mandy

Inspired to listen and started working on your theme? Me too. Create Away! And don’t forget to share your themes over on Facebook so we can all cheer you on!

How To Create Your Personal Theme:

Download

[photo credit : jessandthecity]

Stratejoy Manifesto Part 3: Makin’ it Happen with Accountability

posted 7th February 2009 Written by: Molly Mahar CATEGORY: All Posts, Molly, Stratejoy the Biz, Tips & Tools

[Welcome to a 4 part Blog Post on the philosophy behind Stratejoy. We'll hit the 4 Pillars of Inspiration, Clarity, Accountability & Camaraderie over the next 2 weeks. Stay tuned & if you like--share with a friend or two!]

We’ve covered Inspiration and Clarity. We’ve pumped ourselves up & let our imaginations go wild. We’ve heard our call to live a life of authentic happiness & found the internal motivation to go for it. We’ve even done the cerebral work of designing our vision of success.

It’s been fun & aspirational & full of daisies so far.

Not that I want to burst your bubble, but now it’s time to execute.

And that takes work.

“Becoming lastingly happy demands making permanent changes that require effort and commitment everyday of your life. Pursuing happiness takes work, but consider this “happiness work” the most rewarding work you’ll do.” –Sonja Lyubomirsky in The How of Happiness

Read more…

Heads Up! Words & Wisdom from the Outside

posted 1st February 2009 Written by: Molly Mahar CATEGORY: All Posts, Events, Molly

Taking a quick break from the 4 Part Series today to bring you some date changes & testimonials.

First, the March Tune In, Turn Up Workshop has changed from Mondays to TUESDAYS, due to popular demand. If Monday was holding you back, this is your call to action to register before the spots fill!

The dates will be March 3, 10, 17 & 24 from 6:30-8:30 pm.

Other updates: Registration for the February Workshop (starting this Wednesday the 4th) will close Tuesday morning, so I can prep for the group! I’ve got lots of goodies & tools to get ready, so if you’re been hemming and hawing- time to step up to the plate! The workshop will make a world of difference in focusing forward movement towards your big, thrilling, scary, sacred goals.

Need to hear it from someone other than me? Testimonial from a past participant…

Archive

My Life Was An Optical Illusion

How To Create Your Personal Theme

How To Create Your Personal Theme:

Stratejoy Manifesto Part 3: Makin’ it Happen with Accountability

Heads Up! Words & Wisdom from the Outside

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