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Boycotting Thanksgiving – Gratitude and the Freedom to Choose

posted 24th November 2011    Written by: Dusti    CATEGORY: All Posts, Dusti, Family, Season 5

My family likes to ruin holidays. No really. They create drama of epic proportions.

This time last year, my bigot of an uncle had a real gem to share. Over pumpkin pie, he was discussing how he and his Army buddies used to beat gay kids with socks full of padlocks – because soap only left bruises and didn’t break bones.

Yeah. Can you tell my family is a generation out of the trailer park? Of course, he wasn’t aware his niece, *ahem* moi, was open about her bisexuality. I’ll leave the falling out of the evening to your imagination.

This year, I am boycotting my family and their tradition of drama-making in the name of gratitude for the freedom to choose.

In almost everything we do, we have a choice. We choose how we respond to what’s around us. We choose tomorrow based on actions we make today. We can choose to stay the same or change. We can choose happiness or apathy.

They say you can’t choose your family, but I disagree. Family is who you spend your time with. They are the wonderful community of people who you can trust. They are who you don’t mind sharing the last piece of apple pie with.

For me, that’s my sweet little girl – who is with her dad this Thanksgiving – and that handsome guy I live with. No turkey for us – we’re making something delicious and simple, because I’d rather spend the extra time making pies. (I make seriously gorgeous pies, and I’ve got limited energy to expend. Best to put it where it counts.)

I’m going to take some time and reassess my choices this year. How have I chosen well, and how could I choose better? Could I be in better alignment with my values? It’s all on the table. The idea is to give thanks I can choose.

And, I’ve got a feeling this Thanksgiving will have amazeballs written all over it when it’s over.

I’m not sure if there are other countries with similar traditions, but I think it’s pretty cool we have a holiday based on gratitude.

Could you ask for a better reason to stop what you are doing – and thank the universe for this moment, this breath? How beautiful that we have an opportunity to step back from our daily lives and just be grateful we have the right to choose who we are and how we live?

Happy Thanksgiving, Stratejoy Tribe. May your holiday be full of joy and chock full of love. (And pie. Good lord, enjoy lots of pie – and don’t feel guilty for any of it! You can choose better tomorrow.)

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The Little Things

posted 22nd November 2011    Written by: Ashley    CATEGORY: All Posts, Ashley, Family, Job/Career/Work, Love/Relationships, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5

Y’all, I’ve had a really rough few weeks.

I still haven’t finished unpacking and my apartment is a disaster. There are piles of clothes on the floor and not a single decoration or picture has been hung on the walls. Work has been stressful and frustrating and I’ve wanted to cry more days than I’d like to admit. Plus, I made my (monthly) trip to the grocery store today and somehow didn’t make it home with the package of tortillas and bottle of honey that I bought. It was really annoying! Also! gas went up $.14 over night. I… I just… how?

When you’re in the midst of your QLC, it can be really easy to lose sight of what’s important. You’re so busy focusing on how it feels like your life is falling apart (because, umm, it might actually be falling apart, if you’re not just complaining about missing tortillas), that you forget to recogize everything that is going right in your life. Despite everything, there is always something, somewhere you can show a little gratitude.

Brene Brown says that the people who practice daily gratitude often have the lives filled with the most joy. She also says, “Joy is not a constant. It comes to us in moments- often ordinary moments. Sometimes we miss out on the bursts of joy because we’re too busy chasing down the extraordinary moments. Other times we’re so afraid of the dark that we don’t dare let ourselves enjoy the light.”

I think what Brene Brown says is true. So, today I’m shining a light in the dark and I’m putting aside the big, extraordinary dreams. Today I’m focusing on ordinary gratitude.

I am thankful for green smoothies, smart phones, twinkle lights, and the changing color of the leaves in fall. I am thankful for Essie nail polish, my BFF’s upcoming lingerie shower, Twitter, and queen size beds.

I am thankful for my parents and the fact that they showed me unconditional love as I was growing up. I am thankful that I have a close group of girl friends in Austin who made plans to go see Breaking Dawn on opening day.

I am thankful for pumpkin scented candles, good hair days, my flowery scarf, and catching all the green lights on the way home from work. I am thankful for warm coffee with vanilla creamer, the anticipation and excitement of the holidays, and Dawson’s Creek on DVD.

I am thankful for my boyfriend who makes me feel respected, loved, and cherished on a daily basis. I am thankful that I have a job where I am not restricted by set hours and where I feel valued and supported.

I am thankful for my Erin Condren Life Planner, the daisies sitting on my desk, warm blankets, and thunderstorms. I am thankful for LashBlast mascara, Greek yogurt, the color turquoise, and the opportunity to share my story with you.

What are you thankful for today?

[photo credit: snarkel]

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From Barista to Writer: Building a Business out of Thin Air

posted 20th October 2011    Written by: Dusti    CATEGORY: All Posts, Dusti, Job/Career/Work, Season 5

I never had any intentions of being an entrepreneur. Really I didn’t.

I thought I was just starting blog. Harmless, really. Then, it was a month-long course on blogging. No biggie. Then, I made my first affiliate sale. Oooh, that was pretty exciting. Then, I was writing and marketing an ebook.

Okay, so it was a slippery slope.

Who am I kidding? I showed all of the telltale signs of the would-be entrepreneur.

The inability to stay at a job I couldn’t stand and couldn’t change. (Seriously, I’ve had 36 jobs.) I had to stop participating in student council, because I blew a fuse or ten when I realized all they did was fundraise for parties and dances. So much for wanting to get the curriculum updated and get the school more active in the community. That may have also been why I was voted most likely to be a politician… in 8th grade.

I joke about it, but honestly, stepping into this new role has changed my life in ways I struggle to describe.

Let’s jump back to the summer of 2010. I was working at a Starbucks, slinging coffee out a window to people more or less unhappy with their lives. (The only notable exception to this was Phil Knight and his wife, two of our regulars.) Life was okay. Except that I knew I was handing a false answer to their problems out the window.

When I wasn’t making coffee, I was online. I’d started blogging in my spare time, downsizing my life, and doing more of what I loved. And what did I love? Writing. Sharing. Even when only an hour of my day could be devoted to this secret passion, it lit me up like the 4th of July.

When I first got started, I did it all for the love of writing. All of these thoughts and ideas had been building up with nowhere to go, and when I started blogging, it was like the floodgates opened. My heart soared every time I penned something. Little pieces of me scattered online and throughout the world.

Now it’s October 2011, and I have built myself a job and the makings of a business. In the past year, I’ve written about half a million words. No exaggeration. Between college, writing for pleasure, and writing for business, the flow of words has been more akin to tsunami force than that of the steady river metaphor I had considered using there.

With no qualifications, I wrote ebooks that real people bought. I offered my services as a branding coach and a copywriter – and real people paid me with real money. Danielle LaPorte says the universe speaks in cashflow, and it certainly did to me. The whole thing still blows my mind.

It’s amazing on so many levels, but entrepreneurship is not easy, especially if you’ve got workaholic tendencies. It feels like your work is never done. There’s always this inner conflict going on. How should I be spending my time? How much time with my daughter is enough? How many hours a week should I work? How many would I like to work? How many do I actually have to work to pay my rent?

We take the structure a workplace provides for granted. The thing with being the one calling shots is just that – you’re the one calling the shots. There’s no one else to blame. It’s all on you. Every decision you make about your schedule, your rates, everything. I’m a fan of bootstrapping, but now I dream of the day I can hire my very own virtual assistant. (I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure the heavens will open up and angels will sing.)

Have you considered starting your own business? I’d love to hear about your ideas, and if you have any questions about how I made the transition, I’m happy to answer them! (Molly and Hannah, I want some input here from you guys, too!)

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I Feel Like a Zombie Come Back to Life.

posted 17th October 2011    Written by: Hannah    CATEGORY: All Posts, Hannah, Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5

 

“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world. ” -Robert Louis Stevenson

As I write this I sit on the beach in Monterosso in the Cinque Terre in Italy.  Kids squeal as they dunk each other in the deep blue green waters of the Mediterranean.  Couples cuddle on beach towels giggling and whispering to each other in Italian.  German tourists bare more than some of us want to see while trying to catch some sun.  I sip cold, cheap beer and listen to the waves pound the sand near my feet.  I’m trying to read my book like Mister who is sitting next to me, but I’m too caught up.  This is a beautiful moment.  People all around me are loving life.  And so am I.

And I wonder, “What would it be like if most days we all loved life?”

“The idea that you have the right to a good job that you enjoy and pays well has got to be an almost entirely unique concept in the history of the human race that only my generation could assume.”  This bold statement on my 30 year old friend’s Facebook page caught me totally off guard and I’ve been thinking about it ever since.

There were lots of comments, but this one got me the most, “I will concede the part about liking your job.  That is something that our generation was spoon-fed along with our attendance and participation trophies.”  I don’t know if it was that everyone agreed with him or that no one felt it worth their time to comment, but not a single person spoke up in disagreement.  Is it just me?  It made me so sad.

Kahlil Gibran wrote, “Work is love made visible.  And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work.”

At home I look around me and see people in every direction who are bored, complacent, or just plain miserable in their work.  Most spend 40+ hours a week at their jobs for at least 45 years of their lives (if they don’t start working until after college and actually retire at 65).  After subtracting vacation and sick days, that’s a total of 84,600 hours of something that makes at least some of us feel like uninspired, unsatisfied (dare I say?) robots. Are you depressed yet?

I am. And apparently so are a lot of others.

Katy Perry’s song “Last Friday Night (TGIF)” has been on the Billboard Top 100 chart for the last 20 weeks.
Rebecca Black’s song “Friday” has almost 31 million views on YouTube.

Take Usher’s stance on the matter:
“Thank God the week is done.
I feel like a zombie come back to life.
(Back back to life.)”

I don’t believe in working for the weekend.

It never once in my whole life crossed my mind that I might settle for a career that didn’t thrill me (AND pay the bills).  My parents were supportive in whatever venture I took on.   I felt that the expectation from them was not that I make a lot of money and “be successful”, but that I find something I genuinely love that makes me really happy and actually be successful.

It is so sad to me that in our day and age someone young, smart, and talented does not believe he deserves happiness, success, and yes, money to live to a certain standard.  And I’m sure he’s not the only one which fires me up even more.  I know I talk about this a lot, but it is so close to my heart.  We deserve happiness.  Every last one of us.  We deserve to feel inspired, to love our lives, to learn and grown on a daily basis.  We deserve to wake up every morning without the dread of the day’s tasks weighing on our hearts like a bully sitting on our chests.

And I get it.  I’ve heard and used every excuse in the book.  It sounds silly, but it’s HARD to do what you love!  It’s hard to take risks.  It’s hard to let go of expectations.  It’s hard to be weird.  It’s hard!  But I’m willing to work hard.

“The heights by great men reached and kept.
Were not obtained by sudden flight,
But they, while their companions slept,
Were toiling upward in the night.”
- Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I’m not trying to preach to you, but rather to preach to myself. Find something you love and explore it with everything you’ve got. Embrace your form (or forms?) of genius.

You are deserving of a life that you love. A new mantra, maybe?

I AM DESERVING OF A LIFE THAT I LOVE!  (Attendance and participation trophies optional.)

[Photo Credit: Brad Coy]

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Then, Now, and What’s Next

posted 29th July 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Katharine, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

Somehow over the last six months, I learned to connect the dots.  Somewhere between the Czech Republic and Australia, I learned to fix the broken pieces and repair the damage.

It’s hard to believe that this is the last time I will write for Stratejoy.  What an incredible journey its been.

Six Months Ago…

I was broken, damaged, depressed, and spiraling into a scary black hole.  I had just lost my comfortable Corporate job and didn’t know what the next step was because no one prepared me for a devastating job loss.  I decided that the only way I could save myself from an unhappy lifestyle was to leave it.  So I packed my bags, said goodbye to friends and family, and moved to Prague to get certified to teach English as a second language.

There, I met 23 wonderful people from all over the world and discovered a new passion for education and for life.  I struggled with language barriers, culture shock, and the stress of lesson planning, but I created some priceless memories in Prague that outweigh any negative feelings of the experience.

Of course, little did I know that that certificate would open so many doors for me and lead me on a journey of a lifetime.

Now…

I’m living in a 4-bedroom flat in Sydney, Australia that I share with three other men.  I’m teaching private lessons and taking on more freelance writing projects.  I’ve created a good friend-base in Sydney, connected with a blogger from back home who has been living here for over a year, reconnected with some friends from America whom I haven’t seen in a few years, and I’m in the healthiest relationship of my life.

I went sky diving, discovered forgiveness, and uncovered loneliness in the Land Down Under.  I learned to cover the scars and open wounds with new adventures and experiences full of love, passion, and gratitude.  I gained confidence in traveling solo.  I shattered comfort zones and crossed boundaries.  I struggled with language barriers and culture shock.  But most importantly, I found happiness in Australia.

What’s Next…

I’m going bungee jumping in New Zealand in a few weeks and celebrating my 28th birthday in September in my new home with my new friends (and some old ones).  I’m going to Cairns to see the Great Barrier Reef and this summer (or winter for all of you folk in America), I’m going to learn how to surf.

I’m planning trips to South Africa and South America in 2012 and I added “build a language school in Africa” to my life list.

I’m taking life by the balls and running with it.  Wherever it takes me and whatever it throws at me, I’m going to face it all with courage and grace.  I’m going to open my heart up to extraordinary possibilities and never look back. 

Some Advice:

Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to, but that’s no reason to stop living for the moment.  I know it’s hard, I know it can become overwhelming, depressing, and stagnant at times, but you have to keep pushing through it, figure out what you want to do with your life, and then go do it.

I won’t lie, it’s fucking scary as hell to leave everything you know and start over, but it’s even scarier to know that you never tried to make a change, chase your dream, quit your job, or travel the world.  Stop settling for a mediocre life.  Stop making excuses.  Stop complaining about not being able to do certain things with your life.  You can do whatever you want, but you have to have the will to try.

Start living with passion and intention.  Start making a list of all of the things you want to do with your life and then go do them. Tomorrow is promised to no one.  We only have today and we only have one life to be happy, live passionately, and smile intently.  So, go out there and live your best life.  And while you’re at it, stalk me stay in touch:

facebook | twitter | travel blog

Thank you to all of my readers for supporting me through this amazing experience.  Thank you to my Season 4 Sisters for letting me share this experience with you.  Thank you to Katie for all of the brainstorming g-chat sessions and ‘behind the scenes’ stuff that you do for Stratejoy.  Thank you to Molly for creating Stratejoy, letting me be a part of Season 4, and empowering women to fight the QLC and take control of their lives.

Sending you all mad love from the wonderful world of Oz!

 

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