Archive

Relax, Dammit!

posted 4th December 2010    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Life Lesson, Renee, Season 3, What I've Learned

The thing about bad days is the residual funk.  It’s the can’t-snap-out-of-it helplessness.  It’s the I-refuse-to-smile hopelessness.

When I have bad days, I do the shit out of them.  I throw myself a giant pity party. I cry.  I watch full seasons of my favorite television shows. I make snide remarks to my cat.  I eat my feelings.  I drink a bottle of wine and then I whine about everything. No one else is invited. I dwell on my mistakes, my misgivings, and my shortcomings.  Pessimism is totally my bag.  Don’t try to snap me out of it because you will fail.

But the thing about doing my bad days to the max is that each day is a new day.  I wake up the next morning embarrassed about the amount of calories I ingested but having learned a lesson. My day-long pity parties force me to relax. Now, it’s time to move on.

Luckily, it’s been a long time since my bad days have overwhelmed my entire day.  Getting out of a dead-end job where I was never good enough was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t get into a funk every now and then.  I do throw myself pity parties, but they’re small scale, not keggers.

I do my very best to nip my bad moods in the rear before they start.  I’ve learned to identify triggers.  I know I am an impatient woman, so being behind the slowest car ever on my late night commute home from school can ruin an entire day.  That’s when I tell myself to take a deep breath, turn on my favorite sing-along song, and roll my shoulders.  I will get there when I get there, I am in no hurry.  Or when my professor keeps us late and I realize I’ve been bouncing my knee up and down obnoxiously to the point where my feet now ache.  Relax, Renee.
I put the breathing exercises I learned in Bikram yoga combined with the controlled breathing I’ve practiced in my bajillion years of voice lessons to good use.  Open the throat, lift the diaphragm, raise the soft palate… breathe in for four, out for eight… relax.

Being a perfectionist can lead to a lot of frustration.  I’ve learned to breathe. I’ve learned to force myself to smile.  I’ve learned to consciously relax my tense muscles.  I’ve learned to let go, to delegate, and to know when to give up.  And I’m proud of all I’ve learned.

{photo via Vvillamon}

divider

Good Enough is Good Enough

posted 28th August 2010    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Creativity, Inspiration, Renee, Season 3, What I've Learned

I sat down to write this post and got halfway through it and decided there was no fluidity, no form, no voice, and the whole thing was crap.

It’s writer’s block and it terrifies me. As someone who thrives on feeling productive, knowing that I just scrapped an hour’s worth of work makes me feel helpless and worthless.

I pride myself on my writing efficiency. In undergrad, I could knock out a three-to-five page paper in less than an hour. It would be a coherent, comprehensive work, too. Often, these papers would earn A’s, especially if it was for a class I really enjoyed.

Today? The writing isn’t coming easily. So instead I refill my glass of water… tap out a couple more words…  I check the mail… reread what I’ve written… I grab some string cheese from the fridge… delete a paragraph… I put another coat of nail polish on… and decide, screw it, this idea is not happening today.

And what can I do? How do I find inspiration when my energy turns negative? How should I expect myself to produce top-notch content when I feel sour about every word I type? How do I keep that Judgey McJudgerson voice in my head from constantly judging?

Is there anything more frustrating than not accepting what you produce? Be it music, art, writing, calculations, or whatever your line of work may be. It’s like, you don’t accept it so your client or readers or whatever sure as hell won’t accept it, either. But you know you’re your worst critic, so you try to look at it with someone else’s eyes and it actually just looks worse than you thought it did and please would that judgey voice STOP being all judgey in my head?

You’re certain when you submit it, it’s all mumbo-jumbo and you’re certain you’re just about to be fired because whatever you just submitted is total crap and your four year-old goddaughter could have created something way better than this. Is it naptime yet?

But then I take a step back. I take a deep breath. I roll out the tension in my shoulders. Each article, blog post, paper I write doesn’t have to be perfection. It doesn’t always have to break glass ceilings and burst through uncharted territory and thrill each and every reader. But it has to reach a level of acceptance.

One of my idols, Jane Fonda, writes in her autobiography, “Good enough is good enough.” Sometimes, that’s the best I can do and if I put forth good enough effort, then it’s good enough for me and it’s good enough for my audience. I can be proud of that.

I’m afraid of silly things—revolving doors, salmonella poisoning, things that go bump in the night–but I’m most afraid of not living up to my own expectations. I need to let myself off the hook from time to time and for God’s sake Renee just relax. Being authentic doesn’t mean being perfect, it means being the best version of yourself and meeting yourself where you are and being OKAY with that.

It’s gonna be okay. Relax.

[photo credit: AndWat]

divider

Everyone Deserves To Relax, Even You

posted 23rd September 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Inspiration, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1

fam at the beach

Every year, since I was 15 years old, my family and I have taken a trip to the Outer Banks in North Carolina during the last week of August. It is pretty much the only time out of the whole year (not including when I get sick or hungover) where my brain can calm down a little and I literally DO NOTHING.

To some people, this is really easy.

For me, its really really hard.  Relaxing is a challenge… to say the least.

Outerbanks

This is a picture of the Outer Banks. It in my go-to-special-place in my head that image when someone says “Imagine yourself in your most relaxed state.” It’s no Mexico or Caribbean, but its what I visualize each and every time.

This year, it was a lot harder than most years to “do nothing.” I am still trying to get it through my head that its ok to relax and everyone deserves some calm down time. Since I am obsessed with lists, I thought I would make a list of a few key things that I know can calm me down and see what others due to relax or calm down when life gets to be too much to handle.

My Go To Relaxation List

Those are my top things that I like to do to take my mind off the stress and general feelings of overwhelming daily life. What are some of your recommendations? What would be on your list?

The bottom line, everyone deserves to relax, even you! So, if you haven’t done something for yourself in a while, make it a goal do so soon. Problems, issues, work and life will always be there.

Take a break, take a breath and relax.

*PS I also decided to de-stress my life by getting rid of my Blackberry and downgrading to a regular, normal generic cell phone. Blasphemous in this day and age I KNOW, but I’ve decided it’s unecceasry to be tied to technology 24/7. Try it for yourself and see…*

divider