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Then, Now, and What’s Next

posted 29th July 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Katharine, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

Somehow over the last six months, I learned to connect the dots.  Somewhere between the Czech Republic and Australia, I learned to fix the broken pieces and repair the damage.

It’s hard to believe that this is the last time I will write for Stratejoy.  What an incredible journey its been.

Six Months Ago…

I was broken, damaged, depressed, and spiraling into a scary black hole.  I had just lost my comfortable Corporate job and didn’t know what the next step was because no one prepared me for a devastating job loss.  I decided that the only way I could save myself from an unhappy lifestyle was to leave it.  So I packed my bags, said goodbye to friends and family, and moved to Prague to get certified to teach English as a second language.

There, I met 23 wonderful people from all over the world and discovered a new passion for education and for life.  I struggled with language barriers, culture shock, and the stress of lesson planning, but I created some priceless memories in Prague that outweigh any negative feelings of the experience.

Of course, little did I know that that certificate would open so many doors for me and lead me on a journey of a lifetime.

Now…

I’m living in a 4-bedroom flat in Sydney, Australia that I share with three other men.  I’m teaching private lessons and taking on more freelance writing projects.  I’ve created a good friend-base in Sydney, connected with a blogger from back home who has been living here for over a year, reconnected with some friends from America whom I haven’t seen in a few years, and I’m in the healthiest relationship of my life.

I went sky diving, discovered forgiveness, and uncovered loneliness in the Land Down Under.  I learned to cover the scars and open wounds with new adventures and experiences full of love, passion, and gratitude.  I gained confidence in traveling solo.  I shattered comfort zones and crossed boundaries.  I struggled with language barriers and culture shock.  But most importantly, I found happiness in Australia.

What’s Next…

I’m going bungee jumping in New Zealand in a few weeks and celebrating my 28th birthday in September in my new home with my new friends (and some old ones).  I’m going to Cairns to see the Great Barrier Reef and this summer (or winter for all of you folk in America), I’m going to learn how to surf.

I’m planning trips to South Africa and South America in 2012 and I added “build a language school in Africa” to my life list.

I’m taking life by the balls and running with it.  Wherever it takes me and whatever it throws at me, I’m going to face it all with courage and grace.  I’m going to open my heart up to extraordinary possibilities and never look back. 

Some Advice:

Life doesn’t always turn out the way we want it to, but that’s no reason to stop living for the moment.  I know it’s hard, I know it can become overwhelming, depressing, and stagnant at times, but you have to keep pushing through it, figure out what you want to do with your life, and then go do it.

I won’t lie, it’s fucking scary as hell to leave everything you know and start over, but it’s even scarier to know that you never tried to make a change, chase your dream, quit your job, or travel the world.  Stop settling for a mediocre life.  Stop making excuses.  Stop complaining about not being able to do certain things with your life.  You can do whatever you want, but you have to have the will to try.

Start living with passion and intention.  Start making a list of all of the things you want to do with your life and then go do them. Tomorrow is promised to no one.  We only have today and we only have one life to be happy, live passionately, and smile intently.  So, go out there and live your best life.  And while you’re at it, stalk me stay in touch:

facebook | twitter | travel blog

Thank you to all of my readers for supporting me through this amazing experience.  Thank you to my Season 4 Sisters for letting me share this experience with you.  Thank you to Katie for all of the brainstorming g-chat sessions and ‘behind the scenes’ stuff that you do for Stratejoy.  Thank you to Molly for creating Stratejoy, letting me be a part of Season 4, and empowering women to fight the QLC and take control of their lives.

Sending you all mad love from the wonderful world of Oz!

 

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Things I Learned From Traveling The World

posted 8th July 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Katharine, Life Lesson, Season 4, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

Six months ago, I made the decision to leave Philadelphia and travel the world.  I had no expectations and no set plan, except that I would spend at least one month living in Prague.

This journey around the world has taken me to Europe, Asia, and Australia and I’ve never been more confident or happier than I am right now.

Traveling for any extensive period of time truly changes your life.  It’s not easy.  You’ll face hurdles, discover hardships, cry, cry some more, and uncover things you didn’t know about yourself, but you have to allow yourself to change and grow during the journey.  This experience has a permanent place in my heart and the lessons I’ve learned along the way have given me a new perspective on life.

 

Here are some of the things I’ve learned on this journey:

Nothing is as scary as it seems. Boarding the plane to Prague was terrifying because I knew that once they shut the doors, there was no turning back.  Even if I hated living in a foreign country and teaching English, I would be stuck there for at least one month.  But looking back on it now, boarding that plane seems so easy.  You just have to take that first step.

[Most] Americans don’t know proper grammar. As a native English speaker and someone who aced English classes all throughout my education, I thought I knew all there was to know about the English language.  And then I took a grammar test on my first day of my TEFL course and failed.  Awesome. Prior to the course, I had no idea that verbs had forms.  Nor did I know about modal verbs, conditionals, or Present Perfect Future tense.  Sure, I was taught this back in grade school, but I never actually learned it.

Have patience.  This one was a tough lesson to learn, especially in teaching English as a second language.  Not every student will be quick to learn and when you live in or travel to a country with a language barrier, patience is essential during your interaction with others.

People are too connected and addicted to technology.  For the first two weeks that I lived in Australia, I didn’t have a cell phone.  Mainly because I didn’t plan on staying long enough to justify buying one, but also because I didn’t want one.  Those two weeks sans cell phone were wonderful because I didn’t feel forced to be connected to the Internet.

Last week, my boyfriend and I were sitting outside at a cafe in Surry Hills having brunch, and on both sides of us were couples plugged into their technology and not talking to each other.  For the entire hour we were there, they just sat and played with their iPads and iPhones and not saying a word.  Is this what the world’s come to now?! Put your phone away and have a real live conversation with the person sitting across from you.  I guarantee that you’re not missing out on anything on Facebook or Twitter during that hour. 

It’s okay to be selfish. This was a tough lesson to learn because I don’t consider myself a selfish person.  But sometimes when you travel around you have to be selfish.  I knew that the only way to make this experience truly wonderful and life-changing was to be selfish and put myself first in every decision that I made.  I mean, this is my journey, after all.  There’s nothing wrong with doing the things you want to do in life.

Don’t ever give up.  When my teaching contact in Thailand fell through, I wanted to pack my bags and return to America because I felt like I failed at trying to make it as an ESL teacher.  But I decided to stay in Australia and work through the struggle of finding students to tutor.  I’m now tutoring eight International students and providing private lessons to Backpackers.  It’s easy to throw in the towel when things get tough or when you fail, but it’s the tough moments and the failures that we learn the most from.

It’s never too late to start living your life the way you want to. I’ve always wanted to travel more.  I’ve always wanted to return to my Motherland.  I’ve always wanted to visit Australia.  Done, done, and done.  At 27, I’ve been to four continents.  By the time I’m 30, I will have visited all seven.  Why?  Because I want to. I know it’s scary and intimidating to think about all of the things you want do with your life, but it’s even scarier to know that you never tried. 

What have YOU learned from traveling?

{photo credit: all photos taken personally and collage created in Picnik}

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Video Blog: Live Your Best Life

posted 24th June 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Creativity, Inspiration, Katharine, Season 4

“Live your best life,” she told me, as I detailed my adventures of traveling around the world searching for happiness.

We met in a cafe in Wenceslas Square in Prague.  She was backpacking through Central Europe with her husband, and I was working on a lesson plan for my class.  We exchanged stories of why we came to Prague and what our next adventure is going to be.

Live your best life.

Simple, yet so, so complicated.  Because what exactly can I do to live my best life?  How can I make each day count?

Nicole wrote her personal manifesto, The Life Less Bullshit, and so did Katie.  I have to be honest, I loved both of them.  So much that it prompted me to write my own personal manifesto.

So, I did.

The wonderful Amanda raised the bar this season with her own video blog, talking about what makes her terrified.  Molly then challenged the rest of us Season 4 bloggers to match it.  I hate being on camera and in the spotlight, but this season for me has been all about breaking out of my comfort zone (like going skydiving in Australia!), so I decided to continue with this trend by video blogging.

I’ve never done this before, so please be kind and don’t judge me.

Live your best life.

(in case you’re wondering, the song is a cover of Pink’s ‘Less Than Perfect.’).

 

 

{photo credit: taken of the Sydney Harbour at sunset}

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Finding Forgiveness and Adventure in Australia

posted 3rd June 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Katharine, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4, Travel/Adventure

“Deciding to become a new person is easier than forgiving yourself for the not-so-good parts of who you already are.” – Nicole Antoinette

I never thought I’d get here.  Australia, that is. 

Surprise!

I mean, on a map, it looks so effing far from Pennsylvania, plus it’s on the other side of the equator, making it seem nearly impossible to visit.  But I’m finally here and Sydney is a wonderful place.

It took me three months and three continents to realize that it’s not about reclaiming my life; it’s about forgiving myself for all of the pain, sadness, anger, and resentment I have been holding onto since I was 12 years old.  It’s about forgiving myself for the anger of my father’s suicide.  For the sadness and regret of destroying my relationship with my mother right before she died.  For constantly being so hard on myself.

I thought the pain stemmed from outside sources, but as it turns out, the pain has been self-inflicting all along.  Sometimes the worst kind of pain is that which we inflict on ourselves.

It’s not about starting over again; it’s about filling the cracks of my broken and damaged life with new passion, gratitude, and love so that the new eventually covers the old.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how much of my life has changed in three short months and how I’ve always been so scared of change.  I used to be that kind of person who enjoys the comfortable and (often) predictability of a stagnant lifestyle.  But as I started making bold decisions with my life, I learned that change can be really, really good for you, if you let it.  It can bring new adventures, new opportunities, and new friendships.  Most importantly though, it can bring a new perspective on life.

I’ve been working a lot on answering those gut-wrenching questions that initiated this journey, as well as forgiving myself for the self-inflicting pain.  I’m trying to create a better way to fill the cracks, rather than start over.

Forgiveness takes courage.  It means stripping yourself down to the bare truth behind many of your not-so-good parts.  It means acknowledging your mistakes and failures and accepting them for what they are, believing that it’s helped you build character, and knowing that they do not define you.

Part of this journey has been about forgiveness.  How can I forgive myself for my mistakes, failures, and missed opportunities?  The answer – while it took having to travel halfway around the world to answer – was easy: move.  I needed to get out of my comfort zone to understand why I was so unhappy.  I needed distance to realize that it’s about fixing what you have, instead of starting over.  I needed to detach myself from everything I knew and loved in order to gain a new perspective on life.

“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” – Jonathan Larson

I believe that if you really want to do something – whether it’s travel the world, quit your job, or move across the country – then you should do it.  Do what makes you happy, do the things you dream of doing, and live without any regrets because life is too short and too precious to always play it safe.

Today, I went skydiving and nearly crapped my pants in the process because I wanted to.  SKYDIVING IN AUSTRALIA! I jumped out of a plane 14,000 feet off the ground and experienced 60 seconds of free-falling before my parachute opened.  The experience?  INTENSE and UNBELIEVABLE.  And I’d do it again in a heart beat, if it wasn’t so damn expensive (though completely worth the $255 AUD).  It was an impulse decision (and I had to coerce my hostel roommate to do it with me), but sometimes you have to experience the thrill and the rush to truly appreciate life.

And other times, you have to say “fuck it!” and jump out of a plane 14,000 feet in the air … just because you want to.

{photo credit: Sydney Opera House, by yours truly}

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Following My Heart and Seoul

posted 20th May 2011    Written by: Katharine    CATEGORY: All Posts, Katharine, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 4, Travel, Travel/Adventure

[Yes, that's me, circa 1987.  Don't mind the bowl cut (which I rocked for the majority of my childhood. Be jealous.), the uneven bangs (which my mother cut herself), or the frilly red and white dress.

Now that you've all had a good chuckle at my baby picture...]

I never really fully understood racism until I got to Junior High School and my classmates slung derogatory names at me.

Chink.  Gook.

They would stretch the corner of their eyes or talk to me in broken English.

Kids can be so cruel.

I cried every day after school for nearly a year.  I cried myself to sleep at night, praying my classmates would stop torturing me.  I prayed I would wake up and look ‘normal’ like all of my other classmates.  I even secretly despised my parents for adopting me.

In my school district, you were either Caucasian or African American.  Any other race, and you were a prime target for bullying.  It eventually got easier to be accepted as Asian, but sometimes I would wish I didn’t look different from my family.

Over the years, I’ve learned to grow a thick skin.  People make racist comments and sling racist jokes at me, laughing hysterically, like it’s nothing.  Boys date me because they’ve never been with an Asian girl.  Or boys won’t date me because they don’t date outside their own race. All I’ve ever wanted was to fit in. 

Since when did it become so hard to be accepted and treated equally?

I was born in South Korea, abandoned by my birth mother who put me in a basket and left me at a bus stop.  An elderly gentleman found me and dropped me at an orphanage where I spent the first six months of my life.  I have no record of my birth parents and I have no way of tracing them.  Rejected.  Not even my own birth parents wanted me. Now I know where my abandonment issues stem from.

I grew up in a white family (fine, Caucasian, if we’re getting technical here), in a predominantly white neighborhood.  I’m Korean by decent, but I’m American in every other way.

I feel incredibly blessed to be given a second chance at life, and I owe it all to that elderly gentleman and my adopted parents.  I believe I am living a much better life now, than in South Korea.  But I still wonder what my life would have been like, had I stayed.  I wonder who my birth parents are, what they look like (do I resemble more my mother or my father?!), and if I have any siblings.  I wonder if I’ll ever get diagnosed with a genetic disease and not take the necessary precautions because I don’t know my family’s medical history.  And of course, there’s that one question every adoptee thinks about: why did my birth parents really give me up?

When I was younger, I didn’t really have the desire to return to my homeland.  My parents gave me up for a reason, I would convince myself.  But as I got older, and as I opened myself up to the different cultures and their rituals, my desire to return to South Korea grew stronger.  However, one there’s one thing that’s really held me back about not returning: I’m not emotionally prepared to return.

Come to think of it, are we ever really emotionally prepared for anything in our lives?

Last week, I booked a ticket to South Korea.  Two days ago, I boarded that flight.  As you read this now, I’m wandering the streets of Seoul. 

I finally made it back to my birth place.

I wasn’t emotionally prepared for this trip, but I took a chance, because something deep in my heart told me to get here.    Sometimes you just have to throw out that rule book and follow your heart.

 

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