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Defining My Values

posted 21st August 2010    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Renee, Season 3, Spirituality

I completed the Joy Equation in February 2010.  As part of Week One, I was instructed to identify my eight core values. This was new territory for me.  My values?  No one has ever asked about my values. The only time I ever hear the word “values” is when the religious right shouts about “family values” which is really just a band-aid for bigotry. I had to warm up to the word. What are my values?

At first, with my Catholic background, I thought about the Beatitudes, from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall possess the land.
Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice’s shake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
(Matthew 5:3-10)

Peace? Yeah, okay, that sounds good. Justice? Sure. Merciful? Acceptable. Poor in spirit? Meek? Mourning? I get it, but those aren’t my values. I don’t want to lie down at the end of each day and ask myself, “Renee, were you poor in spirit today?” It doesn’t seem motivating.

I had to dig deeper. My Catholicism still clenched me in its grasp. I thought about the seven spiritual works of mercy.

1. Instruct the ignorant.
2. Counsel the doubtful.
3. Admonish sinners.
4. Bear wrongs patiently.
5. Forgive offenses willingly.
6. Comfort the afflicted.
7. Pray for the living and the dead.

Ah! Here we go. Teach. Counsel. Console. Forgiveness. Compassion. Patience. Peace. We’re getting closer. Thanks, St. Thomas of Aquinas, for teaching me about mercy.

The Joy Equation states, “Our core values are the habits of our heart.” What makes my heart cry out? What moves me to action? What would I fight to for the right to enjoy and experience?

I narrowed down a long, long list with notes in the margins reminding myself “not what I should choose, rather what resonates with me.” Finally, I came up with eight. And then I defined them.

Honesty – Being honest with myself and others, telling the truth, saying what I mean, and always having good, open communication.

Peace – Being at peace with myself, things in my life that I can’t change, and cutting back on the arguing to focus on the greater good. “Good enough is good enough.” –Jane Fonda

Love – Keeping love in my heart and showing it at all times, making everyone feel special and worth of my time. Radiate Love.

Patience – Knowing what matters enough to stress me out and what’s not worth my worries. Keeping my temper in check. Taking deep breaths and going slowly. Keep calm and carry on.

Joy/Humor – Smiling and laughing more than frowning and crying. Finding humor in unfavorable situations. Being able to laugh at myself. Enjoying the company of others. Finding my fun.

Compassion – Knowing when others need my help, a second chance, or a compromise. Putting myself in others’ shoes. Being flexible to accommodate the needs of others when they need it most.

Passion – Recognizing the drive I need to go after what I want. Taking life by the horns. Fearlessly pursuing the things I love. Making time to do things for me.

Authenticity – Knowing what’s best when I need it most. Staying true to myself. Putting my needs first. Taking time to fix #1. Not compromising my values. Doing what I need to do. Not being fake. Giving 100% all the time but knowing what 100% is.

When you wrap up my values and put a pretty bow on them, you can see the Beatitudes and spiritual works of mercy trickling through them… but you can also see my liberal arts education and my ferocious feminism. I can tell where I’m trying to reel in my Type A, Arian personality, trying to cool off my fire sign. I can tell where I’m trying to open my heart just a little more, to soften my rough edges and let a little more light in.

There’s something empowering about naming your values and doing your best to adhere to them, something very tenacious and gritty that I love.  It makes for one hell of a personal journey.

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I’m so Excited. And FAQ about the Joy Equation.

posted 17th May 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Molly, Quarterlife Crisis, Stratejoy the Biz

Hello lovelies!

First of all: Thank you.  Thank you for sharing the news of the Big Launch.  Thank you for all the amazing emails, tweets, and Facebook posts exclaiming your excitement to start the course!  Thank you for being a Gutsy Girl and going after your best life with passion, and hope, and faith. Thank you for joining the Tribe and fueling the Movement.

Thank YOU.

XOXO

I wanted to share a pic of the Joy Plans I shipped out last Thursday… This was my first trip to the post office, but definitely not the last this weekend!

I try to hide all the envelopes in a large bag, so the other people in line don’t give me the evil eye!  But as soon as I get to the counter and start whipping out 30 packages, and then start filling out customs forms for the international ones, I can literally hear people groaing in line…

Come on Seattle!  I’m shipping JOY over here! Have some patience!

But I get it.  The Post Office is not my favorite place either.   I’m going to be seeing a lot of it however, so I’m trying to stay positive!

As I’ve been making my way through a million emails, I thought I should answer a few FAQ about The Joy Equation that keep popping up:

Q: CAN I PAY IN INSTALLMENTS?

Normally this question comes with the explanation that some adorable gal out there wants to pay full price for the course, but can’t afford it all up front.

A: Yes!   Pay what you can up front and then there will be another opportunity to make a payment at the end of the 30 days.  Another payment is not necessary of course, but if you’d like to split up the investment- this is the way to do it!

Q: IS THERE A SUPPORT GROUP FOR THE JOY EQUATION?

Note:  You are welcome to start your own, like the fabulous Natasha did with her private Facebook Group!  If you’d like to join up with her crew (I think they’re starting later this month!), head over and request to join.  Or start your own!   Or complete the program with your best friend, sister or mom!  Adding some accountability to the course is an incredible idea.

A: There is no official support group sponsored by Stratejoy at the moment.   There may be in the future.  There is a follow up accountability club that you have the option to join AFTER you complete the 30-days, but you’ll hear more about Club ReFresh later!

Q: CAN I TAKE THIS COURSE IF I’M NOT IN MY TWENTIES?

From what I’ve seen in the last 2 years, the “Quarterlife Crisis” seems to range in age from 20 to 33ish…   You don’t have to be 25 to be feeling the ill effects over crazy expectations, disconnection, and comparison mania.

A: The Joy Equation is definitely aimed at a younger crowd, but it’s more in the marketing and language- NOT the actually bones of the program.  If you like reading the Stratejoy website and resonate with the message, I know the course would be totally inspiring at any age!

So, I suppose the answer is, it’s up to you…  There will be some examples that I use in the audio programs that are pretty specific to 20/30 somethings, but the 30 day process of connecting with yourself and making plans to live an authentic joyful life would be useful and motivating for anyone.

In lovely Leslie’s words…

What other questions do you have for me?   Add them in the comments so I can address them for everyone!

JOY FOR ALL!


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Taking a Chance on Something Completely “Wrong”

posted 2nd October 2009    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Job/Career/Work, Molly, Quarterlife Crisis, Stratejoy the Biz

Hi, this is Kristy — Molly’s intern. Molly is over in Indonesia right now (having the time of her life, I’m sure) so she asked me if I minded writing a little something about my own experiences. I took her up on the offer in a heartbeat.

wrong-wayBack in March, when I first stumbled upon Stratejoy in my department’s internship & job listings, I was looking for a paid, full-time job, preferably to begin in the summer and continue indefinitely. Stratejoy wasn’t that — it was a 10-hour-a-week unpaid internship that would start right away. It was completely “wrong,” — something my head told me I shouldn’t do. But there was a reason Stratejoy caught my eye, and why my heart told me that this was actually completely right.

When I was in high school I was the youngest person to go through a workshop series that was very similar to Stratejoy’ Lifestyle Design with a company called HeartSpark in Portland, OR. It completely inspired me and changed the way I think about my life. So when I read up on Stratejoy and the workshops Molly offers I knew instantly that I was behind what she did and wanted to help out in any way I could.

So I jumped in — I interviewed and landed the internship (although I did get a slight scolding / helpful tip from Molly who reminded her three new interns that it’s bad form not to send thank you letters — apparently no one she interviewed did). Molly put me right to work on developing her new online course based on Lifestyle Design. I was thrilled.

I worked hard throughout the spring and summer to create a fantastic online course — something that retained the authenticity and success of the in-person month-long workshop while giving participants the flexibility of time and distance from Seattle. To toot my own horn: I think I succeeded. I’ll take credit for crafting such a great version of Molly’s course, but the real shiny gold stars go to her for developing such an amazing program to begin with. Let’s just say I had fabulous material and enthusiasm to work with.

And through the creation of the course, as well as actually going through the in-person version, I actually took the time to think about what it truly was that I wanted and what success looked like to me. I had done this years ago in high school, but on the verge of graduation from college I realized it was very important for me to think about it again. Especially since everything — everything — has changed in these years since high school. Haha.

Through this unpaid internship that I randomly stumbled upon and which wasn’t ideally what I had been looking for, I gained experience in a kind of work I’d never done before, defined what it truly was that I wanted from the next couple years of my life, and I ended up actually landing that job I’d been looking for 6 months before, with Molly’s boyfriend Ken, who owns & runs an email marketing company. He was impressed with my hard work, enthusiasm and creativity and wanted me on board. It kind of just fell in my lap — like, I’m realizing, most things eventually do for people.

What are some things that have changed? Well the biggest one is that instead of going straight on to get my PhD in Communication Studies like I’d been planning for a couple years, I’m now considering getting an MA in Sustainable Communities or Sustainable Leadership, something I realized I’m passionate about, first — and taking a few years off beforehand.

Graduating is scary — I do that next June after I write my 40-page Honors Thesis, eep! — but it’s become a little less scary because of the events of these past 6 months. And I’m hoping by the time it happens it won’t be that scary at all.

The online course has just launched and you can still get it for our introductory price, which is 33% off. See this page for The Joy Equation: a 30-Day Guide to Living Life on Purpose.

photo credit: limonada

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