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Visualization: Ten Years in the Future

posted 4th September 2010    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Job/Career/Work, Renee, Season 3

It’s a crisp morning somewhere in the Midwest. I wake up to a little dew on the grass in my backyard. I put on a sweater and enjoy my coffee on the back deck. I listen to the birds greet the new day and watch the squirrels quarrel in the branches. My cat sits beside me. I take a moment to myself.

My husband rouses and kisses me good morning. We go about our routine: eating cereal on the couch, packing our bags for the day, catching up on email and news. I blow dry my hair and apply my makeup. I slip on my shoes and climb on my bike.

I’m ready to ride to campus.

I pass a few of my students on the way to class. I start my mornings teaching Feminist Community Building in the Blogosphere. It’s a graduate-level course and I’ve been mentoring some of these students since their freshmen year. I feel connected to them, I see myself in them. I want to open the academic world to them and tell them everything is going to work out just right as long as you believe in yourself. Class goes by quickly. It always does when your students are as excited about the material as you are.

I pack up my bag and grab a cup of tea with a colleague. We were in the same Masters program together. It’s nice to catch up with someone who knew you way-back-when. She tells me about her kids, how they’ve grown into fine young men and are now playing hockey at a Big 10 school. I like to watch them on the weekends. It’s nice to have someone to cheer on. I invite her and her husband over for a fondue night this weekend. She agrees to bring wine and I request Trader Joe’s Two Buck Chuck. I remember when I introduced her to it and I’m in the mood for nostalgia.

I have to head back to my office for my scheduled office hours. I know at least one student mentioned she would stop by. I climb the stairs to my office. It’s a small space; books occupy three of the four walls. I settle into my chair and flip on the lamp. It’s one of the first lamps my husband and I bought when we moved in together. I make a mental note to visit IKEA soon.

My student never stops by, but I spend my free time ignoring the book I’m working on. That next chapter can wait just one more day. Instead, I book our hotel in Rome. We’ve been planning to celebrate our 10th anniversary in Italy for some time now. We bought our plane tickets last weekend. I choose a cute boutique just outside the historical center, but close enough to all the right bus routes. I can’t wait to show my husband the city that shaped who I am so many years ago. I catch myself daydreaming about Sant’Eustachio cappucini and frutti di bosco cornetti fresh-baked and still warm. I grateful we can afford to take this trip for our anniversary and that we’ve budgeted wisely.

After my last class of the day, I ride home. Tonight is stir-fry night but it’s still too early to start cooking. Instead, I start a pot for tea, put my slippers on, and settle into our rich burgundy couch. I should probably proofread a section of my book before I send this part of it off to my editor. My cat hops up and starts to purr. I’m grateful for our comfortable, albeit small home, for our friends, and for our comfortable salaries.

I reflect on my day. Cozy. Comfortable. Productive. Progressive. I feel like I’m making a difference in my students’ academic lives. I’m writing for me. I still adore my husband. I feel complete. I feel validated. I feel loved.

These are my big dreams. What are yours?

[image via mhobl]

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6 Months Worth Of Lessons In Under 600 Words

posted 27th July 2010    Written by: Nicole Antoinette    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Life Lesson, Nicole Antoinette, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, What I've Learned

When I started writing for Stratejoy, I had just up and moved to San Francisco with no job, no money, no friends, no place to live, and no plan. I had a crush on a boy and a love for the Golden Gate Bridge, but that was about it.

In the time that’s passed between then and now, I have found an incredible job, a stable income, a place to live, some of the best friends I’ve ever had, a plan for the future, a relationship with a new (and infinitely better-for-me) boy, and a continually renewing love for the Golden Gate Bridge.

Taking this weekly pause to write about the more serious side of my life has helped me frequently reflect on who I am, who I want to be, and how to best close the gap between the two. In those moments of reflection, here are the lessons I’ve learned:

Take the time to talk things out with the people you care about. Honest communication solves most problems before they become problems at all. And don’t just talk, listen.

Understand that different doesn’t have to mean bad. I’m me and you’re you and our differences can help us bring each other closer to where we want to be.

Send thank you cards. Sincere expressions of gratitude let someone know that what they did mattered to you, and most of the time what we need is to feel appreciated.

Make plans. The only thing better than having something delicious to look forward to is feeling the plans turn to memories and knowing you’ll be able to fondly remember them forever.

Treat yourself better than you treat anyone else. Understand that selfish and self-care are two different things, and that you can’t show up for anyone else if you don’t show up for yourself first.

Remember that your greatest freedom is the freedom to choose. You can choose which impulses to follow and which to ignore. You can choose who you let into your life, how you spend your time, and what occupies your thoughts. Think good thoughts.

Find what inspires you, and then mainline it on the regular. There’s no such thing as too much inspiration.

Stand up for the people you love and the beliefs that move you. Let yourself be passionate, even if it means your ideas and feelings will be isolating to some. We’re not here to please everyone and there’s no glory in being watered down, overly accommodating versions of ourselves.

Stop wanting what you don’t want. Learn to tell the difference between what you actually want and what your ego wants. Tell your ego to shut the hell up.

Ask questions. Other people can’t read your mind, so don’t assume you can read theirs. The fastest way to find out what you want to know is to just ask.

Give people room to make mistakes. High standards give you great results, but unrealistic standards give you nothing but disappointment.

And lastly, take risks. If you don’t jump to try to reach your best possible life, who will?

[Note from the editor: Nicole Antoinette, it's been an absolute JOY, to have you in my life these last 8 months.  Can you believe that's all it's been?   From our very first emails that crossed paths in the ether, to lunch in SF, to phone calls asking the Universe to just get you to California, to the amazing hot mess you pulled off in Vegas- you are a bundle of energy, an amazing friend, and a woman to be reckoned with.

I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for sharing your passion, your killer writing skills, and such an intimate slice of your life over here.  The Tribe and I will never be the same, sweetness! Here's to the big dreams coming true, finding happiness in the small moments, and being utterly and deliciously YOU.  'Cause you're so damn good at being YOU.   Love, Love, Love,   Molly]

photo credit: Jamie Varon

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Practicing Passion And Action

posted 24th June 2010    Written by: Katie    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Katie, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, What I've Learned

Whenever someone is good at what they do, they’re said to have passion. Moreover, when they do something admirable, a firm “Way to take action!” is thrown in their direction.  Passion and action are two things that have driven me my entire life – just not at the same time. Unfortunately, until recently, I didn’t realize that though I was being driven, it was mostly in one big huge circle.

When I was in grade school, I was placed in smart kid classes. They were called “Academically Talented” classes, but the other kids just called them “smart kid classes”.  Of course, when they said “smart kid classes” they’d turn their sarcasm level on high to match the position of their nose in the air. I get more honor out of being in the classes now than I did then because I now realize the importance of intelligence and being recognized for such talents.

Regardless of the lack of due respect from my peers, I still went to the classes. I didn’t want to. I just wanted to be “normal”, “regular”, “average”, even.  I took the action everyday to go to the classes, mostly because I had to. What I was lacking was the passion to make the best of the situation. I could have cared less about what my grades were in that class, because they always got rounded up to A’s.

I continued in the smart kid classes up until my sophomore year in high school. My success in the classes eventually went down the toilet because I never gained passion for being smart. I didn’t want to be. I didn’t look at being in these classes as recognition so much as segregation. Eventually, I was placed where I always wanted to be – with the average kids. As much as I banked on things being better, they weren’t.

5 years later, when I was 22, I found myself in a dead end job. I wanted so much more out of my life. All day long, in place of work, I’d think back to my younger years and remember that I wanted to be a dancer (without the pole), a teacher, and a master of computer repair. I had wished I had more passion. I had plenty of it at 22. I wanted out of that job, out of unhealthy relationships, out of the life slump that I was in. I’d dream of my life being enjoyable, of waking up everyday and wanting to go to a job that I loved.

Unfortunately, with all of this determination, drive and passion, I didn’t take any action at all. I stayed at my dead end job, until I reached the dead end, and I had no where to go.

Over the next 3 years as I went through my Quarter Life Crisis alone before I knew that it even existed, I would teeter between having a lot of passion with no follow through, and a whole lot of action toward a non-existent goal; without passion. I was too down on life and myself to realize that no matter what I did, I still wasn’t happy and that something had to change.

The realization that I had to combine passion and action didn’t hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t have an “a-ha” moment – or at least not a dramatic one. Recently, I’ve been trying to do more things that I want to do. If I want to go to bed early, I do. Id I want to look into going to college, I do. If I want to dance naked around my bedroom to Michael Bolton, I do.

In the same light, if I have to do something that I don’t necessarily have the choice to do, like not-so-fun project, or tedious favor for someone, I don’t “just do it”. I get myself into a state of “want to” and realizing that sometimes there are things that you have to do. I inject a little passion into my veins (metaphorically), and I do whatever it is that needs to be done. I’ve noticed that even those mundane things are more fun to do, and the completed project is of much higher quality than it would have been without passion.

It took me 25 years to learn, but the lesson is life changing. My quality of life has increased a boat-load. I do things that I’m passionate about, and I’m passionate about things that I (have to) do.

Passion and Action just go together. Kind of like peanut butter and jelly, pen and paper, and sour cream and…well, anything.

(photo credit: via)

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Meet the Team Behind Joyful Living

posted 11th May 2009    Written by: Molly Hoyne    CATEGORY: All Posts, Molly, Stratejoy the Biz

School’s almost out for the summer!  For most university women that means a break from classes, a summer job or two & perhaps kicking back with old pals.  For three special ladies- it means a Stratejoy Internship!  These spunky powerhouses are going to be the marketing brains & brawn behind a bunch of exciting projects over the next few months…

Stay tuned.  There are amazing new advances in building our community of gutsy women living authentically joyous lives coming soon.  We’re wiggling with excitement over here as we work on a Lifestyle Design Video Course, a “Gutsy Girl’s Guide to Success” workshop aimed specifically at college girls & a national speaking tour!  (Okay, okay- the speaking tour is still on the wish list!)

Without further ado…. I’d like to introduce the bevy of beauties below!

Summer 2009 Street Team

KRISTY HOGUE, UW

1.  What is your definition of joy?
Joy is enjoying the things in life that take advantage of the best of who you are, challenge you, and keep you engaged, passionate, and motivated.

2.  What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to learn?
I’ve always wanted to learn how to become a better photographer. I took one photography class some years back and want to explore the medium more.

3.  What ice cream topping is most like you?
Dark chocolate fudge sauce because it’s a unique twist on a traditional favorite and while it may be a striking change at first, it grows on people. Dark chocolate also rides the line between “indie” and “trendy,” while always remaining slightly sophisticated.

4. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
Paragliding! My stomach was in my throat the seconds before I took off last summer in Switzerland, but once I was soaring above the Alps I realized that not only was I safe, but that it was the most amazing, beautiful thing I’d ever experienced!

5. What do you crave?
Intellectual and artistic creativity. I love stumbling on people who have new ways to think about things — whether it’s through a piece of writing, a painting or craft, or a new theory. Creativity always leads to the most interesting, stimulating conversations.

LAUREN SHILDMYER, UW

1.  What is your definition of joy?
I believe that real joy manifests when you know what you’re doing, love what you’re doing, and believe in what you’re doing.

2. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to learn?

I would love to travel to India and study in an Ashram.

3.  What ice cream topping is most like you?

Strawberries! Because I am loyal, honest, and trustworthy.  Strawberries, as a mix-in, will never let you down!

4. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
White water rafting in Costa Rica (Class 4). My raft tipped half way down a considerable drop and my tail bone made friends with one too many rocks!
5. What do you crave?
I crave buffalo wings! Too often!

NATALIE CERDA, SEATTLE U

1.  What is your definition of joy?

Joy is the feeling you get when your mood can do nothing but lift up.  It starts with a smile and leads to a sense of confidence in yourself.
2. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to learn?

Communication, to better understand the world & the people around me, to be able to build a dialogue and help them learn about themselves and perhaps better understand myself.

3.  What ice cream topping is most like you?

Colorful gumballs… Even though there are a variety of colors, each individual one has its own unique flavor that is loved. Together they are a party, but separately each retains the ability to stand out.

4. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?

Standing in front of someone I love and care about most and telling them the truth.

5. What do you crave?
I crave being active in life.  I like to stay busy doing something, even if it’s just kickin’ back and watching movies or hanging out with those I care about.

What the heck are you going to do, Molly?

I knew you were going to ask…  Don’t worry!  Even with this rockin’ team at the helm, I still have plenty to do.  I am creating content to bring you brand new Joy 101 classes, refining the Lifestyle Design Workshop so you learn the most powerful clairity exercises & goal setting processes,  and concentrating on booking speaking gigs so I can spread the Authentic Happiness movement near & far. Plus running a small biz, networking, researching, going to workshops myself, writing blogs, reading, connecting with you on Twitter & Facebook, leading Club ReFresh and doing my own personal work on living an authentically joyous existence.

And because I also knew you were going to ask…  Here’s my answers!

MOLLY HOYNE, THE WORLD

1.  What is your definition of joy?

Joy is knowing what you want your life to stand for & having the ability to express it every day.  It’s being connected to your authentic self & understanding that you create your own happiness. Joyful living is the lighthearted journey towards acceptance, goodness & fulfillment.
2. What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to learn?

One thing?  How about 100 things?  At the moment, relearning to play the piano (rock/pop singalong songs only) & speaking passable Spanish are at the top of my list.

3.  What ice cream topping is most like you?

Let’s go with chocolate covered pretzels.  Classic, but with a twist.  They seem sweet & mild on the outside, but inside they’re a little salty, with real substance to them.

4. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?

Starting my own business was/is scary because I’m sharing my passion with the world, the ideas & opinions that really mean something to me.  It’s also the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.

5. What do you crave?
I crave rejuvenation in nature, fresh mangoes, brand new markers, back of the neck kisses & connecting with other curious people.

So…. What are your answers to the five questions we’ve answered?  Share below or post on your own blog & leave the link for us to explore!

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Live Deliberately

posted 6th January 2009    Written by: Molly Hoyne    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Molly

I admit it: I love the New Year, just as much as I love peanut butter, little kids in snowsuits & new magazines delivered to my mailbox. Hear me? I love the New Year a whole big bunch.

It’s the thrill of a clean slate, a brand new journal & of course, a handful of resolutions. I’ve spent several snow days hemming and hawing over just what I’d like to accomplish in 2009. One of my favorite things to do is come up with a theme for the year: 2007 was “Life’s an Adventure” & 2008 was “Big Dreams, Bright Eyes”. Cliche? Perhaps. But they hold hard fought meaning for me and for the year ahead.

So what does the future hold?

My theme for this year is “Live Deliberately”. It’s an anthem for conscious choice about the life I live each day and the ideals that are expressed. What do I want to express, you ask? Courage, Creativity, Authenticity, Vitality, Connection, and of course, Joy. I want my values to be reflected in the way I spend my time, the interactions I have with others & the message I share with the world.

Read more…

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