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Conquering the Mission Holding Me Back

posted 29th September 2011    Written by: Dusti    CATEGORY: All Posts, Creativity, Dusti, Quarterlife Crisis

I’ve been grappling with writing this stupid manifesto for months now. I’ve known it’s needed written since May. I’m really excited to write it and share it with the world! But somehow, it keeps getting pushed to the backburner. Why?

Well, honestly, a couple of reasons.

I don’t have a solid grasp on what it needs to say. I want this short piece to form the foundation of everything else I do from this point on. The holy grail of my blog. The big idea – the mission – that inspires everyone else to get onboard and go with me wherever this crazy train goes.

That’s pressure. Self-applied pressure, granted, but still. What if I decide to change course midstream? Will my people still be behind me? Will they still be interested in sharing a mission and taking it to new heights on different levels? Will they even like the idea I start with?

For any of you familiar with the StrengthsFinder test, my chief strength is input. That means I absorb information like a sponge. I’m great at synthesizing ideas, but I have issues standing behind an idea or way of thinking for long because I’m constantly analyzing and adding new information.

Okay, confession time.

I’m afraid of commitment. Not like I can’t hold down a relationship type of commitment. It’s more like I’m terrified of committing to an idea or belief system. And it’s starting to hold me back.

That’s why I’ve been holding off on writing this thing. It’s a statement of what I believe and what I’m looking for. And being in the midst of a QLC, these are the major things I’ve been struggling with. Most of August, I felt like I was stuck and had no idea which direction to go next.

That’s when I started the Joy Equation. Now, being a writer in the lifestyle design niche, I’ve seen a LOT of personal development guides like it. I’ve even started a few of them.

But, as I started to go through the exercises, I found that I wasn’t just engaged – I was smiling the entire time I was going through the guide. Even with the tough topics, I was so happy just to have it written and out of my system! What a relief. I did think something – something I could stand behind without any doubt.

Like my values! I thought I had them pretty well refined, but it turned out I had been operating under limiting beliefs of sorts. I’d never given myself room to explore what my values looked like in a larger context. The definitions helped, too. Defining something makes it easier to understand and implement.

Here’s what I came up with:

This was such a massive discovery for me. I knew freedom, adventure, and community were important to me, but romance was like finding a missing link.

It was everything I could never find the words to describe before. I knew I was passionate, but finding such a perfect word was empowering and revitalizing. It was like, “Holy crap! I can finally explain to my partner why little things are so important to me!” It was a revolution for my heart.

So here I am now. This is me presenting what I believe without question. The first words in my manifesto are…

“I believe you are beautiful, brilliant, and unique beyond any doubt. There is nothing you can’t do, and there is no situation you can’t overcome.”

Because it’s my truth. And I can commit to truth.

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The Life List That Changed My Life

posted 15th September 2011    Written by: Dusti    CATEGORY: Dusti, Molly, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, What I've Learned

I love lists. Like religiously. Lists for shopping, lists for goals, lists to keep track of everything. I’m not OCD, but I do like to track progress. Checking off each little box makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

Last year, on January 3rd, 2010, I started a list that would change my life. It was called 101 in 1001. The idea is you choose 101 things of varying difficulty and complete them in 1001 days. That’s not so long it’s impossible to see the end of, but it also gives you more leeway than New Year’s Resolutions. Count me in.

One of my more outlandish tasks on the list was “Use a productivity system for 30 days.” (So much for not appearing OCD.) A productivity system would help me get my crap in order, and hopefully, my life would follow suit.

Enter GTD (Getting Things Done). I bought files and a box and got to work. But soon, I realized it wasn’t a good fit for me. (Too many files and far too many rules.) I began to look again for a new system to try. That’s when I found ZTD (Zen to Done).

 

That’s when Leo Babauta and Zen Habits entered my life. I started diving through the archives. He wasn’t just talking productivity. He was bringing simplicity into every aspect of life. That’s when I entered the blogosphere, first as a reader, then soon as a fellow contributor.

One of the movements Leo was advocating was minimalism. I started reading about other people trying similar life experiments, and I was shocked. I couldn’t believe there were other people like me so dissatisfied with the the consumer culture that appeared the only option. But they were doing something about it. Many of them were living with 100 things or less!

That was insane to me. It reminded me of a few years back when I had moved to Texas with what would fit in a suitcase. And I had loved it! So I made the decision to do it. I started going through my things, making Goodwill trips, and downsizing.

Then, it was my daughter’s turn. Everyone thought (read: still thinks) I was crazy for doing it, but what do babies really need? Clothes and toys. Who needs more than 100? (She seems to be just fine, thank you.)

While I was doing this downsizing, I had also started blogging about it. The fact was nobody was writing about what radical minimalism looked like with kids, and I felt like I had something really worthwhile to talk about. It turned out other people felt that way, too. Within two weeks of starting my blog, I’d guest posted on my favorite blogger’s site (when she wasn’t taking guest posts) and taken my niche by storm.

I was in love. After feeling so isolated since I had my daughter, here were all of these people who understood what I was going through. Here was this wonderful community willing to share and discuss and be vulnerable. Out of the blue, I found friends, mentors, and more than a few adventures. And how could I forget the passion I felt for writing? The words flowed like water. It was beautiful. My calling stumbled into my life when I was just looking for new things to keep me from remembering my QLC.

Since then, it’s been a wild ride. I’ve released several ebooks, turned my blog into a business platform, and now I’m here pouring my heart out at Stratejoy. I found Stratejoy in an unconventional way these days – I met Molly in person! We found each other at a karaoke bar during the World Domination Summit this summer, and after hearing Molly’s story, it wasn’t long before I was diving in and out of her archives.

When I saw apps were being taken for new Stratejoy writers, it was fate. With my blog being so business-like, there’s a lot a I want to share that no longer fits that audience. I am so ready to share the stories that make us who we are. It’s an honor to have the opportunity to connect with such an amazing group of women. Here’s to another year of beautiful words, broken stories, and creating incredibly rich lives.

 

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Making Life a Little More Vacation-Like

posted 30th March 2011    Written by: Laura    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Laura, Season 4, Travel

Ahhh, vacation. The decadent, scarce concept of taking a break. Being off the grid. Living, for the most part, without deadlines, demands on your time and attention, or the pressure to perform. It’s damn good, isn’t it?

I spent the last week in Mexico; doing a whole lot of nothing. Drinking, eating, tanning, and celebrating the nuptials of two of my favorite people.

For me, one of the best parts about vacation is that I barely have to use my brain. Thinking, analyzing, trying, doing; it all gets put on hold. I don’t question the meaning of life or grapple with how to be more fulfilled. Oh no. I flick an internal switch, turn it all off, and it feels downright delicious.

They say all good things come to an end. And in the case of vacation, that’s always true. That’s partly what makes it so sweet – returning home, to your own comforts and your own bed – but also so…unnerving. Because it gets me thinking: why must vacation feel SO MUCH BETTER than real life? I mean, there’s a difference between “Yay! That was so much fun!” and “Oh God. When I wake up tomorrow, real life resumes. Damn.”

No matter where I go or what I do, I always have one very specific, sinking feeling. I don’t want to go back to work. In my former life, when my workplace felt like hell on earth, this sinking feeling was more like an aching chasm of despair. Vacation was a frightening reminder of how much I hated my job. Now, being my own boss, it’s not so bad. But the return from vacation is still no peach.

Case in point? Last night, I had a restless sleep. The kind where I wanted a good night’s sleep, because I knew performance expectations would rise with the sun. I would have to accomplish something; serve somebody. But I kept waking to check the time, wondering how many more hours of vacation-induced peace I had left. You ever have those nights? (Please say yes.)

Well this time, I’m challenging that cloud of dread. I will not sit back and accept it. Instead, I will question it. I will push back. I will ask: What would make my life feel a little more vacation-like? A little more at ease. A little more exploratory. A little more casual. A little more like late breakfasts, poolside reading and pina coladas.

For starters, I wouldn’t feel hemmed in, controlled or uber accountable to anyone. I like being accountable to one person: me. Selfish? Perhaps. But it’s also peaceful, comfortable, kind, and flexible; just the way I like it.

I would enjoy at least one Internet-free day a week. That means no emails, no social media, no online news consumption or distractions.

I would spend more time in situations that allow me to work independently, to interact with people who are confidantes and equals, and to explore possibilities as openly and creatively as I want.

I would honor my values more. I have seven pages in my Stratejoy notebook, outlining ideas for ways I can nurture creativity, authenticity, momentum, bigness, kindness, money, and fun. But I don’t pay attention to them. Figuring out how to do that would be a total treat.

I’d focus on making enough money – living comfortably – but not on making as much money as I possibly can. I’d way rather direct that extra effort and clarity of mind to other things. Like creative expression, learning and exploration of some of my big ideas; even if they don’t yield any cash flow, profile or further opportunities.

You know what else would be scrumptious and vacation-like? Doing nothing but creating content. Writing magazine articles, a book, scripts, or motivational speeches for a living. Creating my own schedule and maybe, someday, not serving clients at all. Unless you count magazines, publishers, blog readers; that sort of thing.

The more I think about it, the more a little voice inside gets louder. It tells me that I’m pretty good at seeing the big picture, being positive, staying grounded, and having faith. It tells me that I’m passionate about keeping things in perspective and that I love sharing that perspective with others.

It tells me that I would love it if the only way I was accountable to other people was to inspire them. Then, life might feel a little more like vacation. A little more at ease. A little more exploratory. A little more casual. A little more like late breakfasts, poolside reading and pina coladas.

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Finding Inspiration Through Alternative Lifestyles

posted 12th December 2010    Written by: Lindsey    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Lindsey, Season 3

I’m writing this from the middle of the ocean. The only people I have seen in the past week are my three other crewmates and my own face in the mirror. There is no phone or internet because, well, it’s the middle of the ocean.

Asking me to define the most inspirational person in my life at this very moment, is kind of like asking me what my favorite color is. There aren’t many choices in this narrow vision I have right now. My favorite color is the deep blue of the ocean. What other color is there? All I see, in every direction, is this amazing shade of blue that I’ve never experienced until I hung my waist over the bow of the boat and stared into the purest, bluest, mystery of deep ocean. It eats up my eyeballs like a great work of art.

Besides blissful blue, I am surrounded by the captain of the ship and my two fellow crewmates who I am just beginning to know. We’ve only met a few weeks ago and we’re suddenly living alone in a rocking ship, working around the clock to harness the power of the ocean, the power of the wind to move ourselves and our boat miles and miles to the crystaline coves of the Bahamas. The exhaustion is heavy because standing straight up requires so much effort, and in the healing isolation of being so entirely distant, I find inspiration in each person who has touched my past, who has made my future brighter, clearer, and more hopeful.

From my place right now, adrift in an ocean of dreams coming true, I hold each person who has helped me to reach this point close in my heart. I carry a piece of them with me. I literally think of them every day and their influence continues to guide me towards my vision of future.

In Maui, I learned from my host how grow my own food using natural methods, how to fast. He inspires me to live off the grid, to pursue an alternative lifestyle and to work for my own food revolution.

In Molokai, I saw how to live off the land and how to nourish my body to optimum health. I experienced life on a yoga retreat, where the major projects were building structures of reclaimed materials and designing a raw food menu for guests visiting from their stressful lives. My friends inspire me to strive for my healthiest, happiest, most free self.

In Oklahoma I experienced a budding community of yogis and young families, coming together to live as a unit on a shared property, to build their homes by their own design and by their own hands, to grow their own food, and live as sufficiently as possible. They inspire me to seek out my own community and home.

In Tahoe, I spent a lot of time drinking coffee and eating waffles with an elderly man who lived by his own theory of happiness. Warren worked as a reverend in a bustling Tahoe wedding chapel, marrying people and acting as wedding photographer, firmly acting on his will that if he must work for money, he would do it working only with people in their happiest moments, to chose to bring happiness into his life. He would work doing what he enjoyed, so that it didn’t have to be hard or uncomfortable. He inspires me to earn my living doing what I love and what makes me happy, and to never sacrifice my happiness out of fear.

Now, in pursuing my own dreams, I hold what I’ve gained from each of my mentors and inspirations and something of each of them passes through my mind each day. I am designing my own life, based on what I’ve learned from each of these lives, and from what I continue to learn from my friends across the country, from my new friends aboard this boat, from the future lifestyles that I’ll be sure to encounter and experience. I’m a lifestyle anthropologist, and I get my inspiration from people living full, amazing lives.

{photo :  me getting dirty in my garden in Hawaii}

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Big Dreams Coming True and Stratejoy Road Trip!!

posted 30th July 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Events, Inspiration, Job/Career/Work, Molly, Stratejoy the Biz, Travel/Adventure

In my own Joy Map (the cumulative page in the Joy Equation Course), circa 2008,  I wrote,  “Big Picture 10 Year Goals:  2 trips a year, get hitched and have babies, own a green home in Seattle with a garden, piano, and studio, have a vacation cabin in the middle of nowhere, be a Seattle 40 under 40 winner, fluent in Spanish, and roadtrip through the US writing a book about extraordinary women and get it published”.

Pretty large living for a girl who was broke, had a tiny business idea that she was scared to share, and didn’t know a damn thing about actually “making it happen”. I’m a dreamer….  What can I say?

Reality check midway through 2010.

THIS IS MY BIG NEWS!

More details will be coming soon, but I couldn’t keep it under wraps any longer.  The Big Man and I are hitting the road in September in our Honda CRV with a Autohome topper to spread our various messages/passions/livelihoods.   His latest venture’s not completely ready to roll, but here’s the sneak peek!

I’ll be continuing to spread the Stratejoy message by teaching workshops like this and this all over, leading coaching groups over the phone (as well as continuing to work with private clients), working on new product launches, and yes, interviewing inspirational women in their 20′s & 30′s for some sort of book/video project.

Stratejoy hits the road! Woo’ freakin’ Hoo!

Home base will be Stella (the CRV),  various couches, national parks, a hotel room here or there, and perhaps, your guest room?  We’ll be on the road for as long as it’s still fun.  Could be 3 months, could be a year… I won’t be gone, though I may shorten my working week to 3 days, so I can play and explore (offline).  So don’t worry, love.  I’m still just a phone call, email, tweet away.

I cannot wait to meet the Tribe.  I can’t wait to eat local delights, take a million photos, and share the passion I have for living life on OUR OWN TERMS, measured by our own definition of success.  I can’t wait to meet you! And hear your story face-to-face.  And share a coffee, or a glass of wine, or an adventure.

I can’t breathe sometimes.  That’s how excited I am.

So, the question is–   How can you get involved?  Well, I’m going to need an rockstar Street Team to help plan the local events. If you’re interested in bringing a Stratejoy Workshop to your town, EMAIL ME  (molly @ stratejoy [.] com) immediately.  I’ll put you on the “inner circle” list.   In fact- title your email “Inner Circle”!!  Details will be going out soon. And of course, nothing is set in stone yet.  You’re not committing yourself by emailing, just declaring your interest in finding out more!

What are you getting yourself into? Here’s a couple of pics from the event I did in DC !

[[  above  ]]  Kimberly Wilson sharing her awesomeness with the group! She is the creative director and founder of tranquil space – named among the top 25 yoga studios in the world by Travel + Leisure, author of hip tranquil chick and tranquilista, and holds a Master’s in Women’s Studies.  She rocked our socks for 60 minutes.

[[  below  ]]  They look all sweet and innocent, but these ladies just spent the day plotting world domination and major happiness.  The battle cry, “Joy for all” rang out, loud and clear.

Other ways to get involved? If you know (or are) a Quarterlifer with an amazing, inspirational story, email me so I can make sure I plan my route to include an interview with you!   Or if you want to take me out for a cocktail at your favorite bar, email me!  Or if you want to hook me up with your uncle who has the killer beach house and loves house guests, email me! Or, or , or!!!   JxesSDFfdseHEeserRs!!!   Can’t talk.   Too excited.  Channeling @nicoleisbetter.

One of the only sad bits about making this dream come true?  Leaving Seattle for an extended amount of time.  I’m teaching my last local workshop on the 15th and have already said goodbye to my amazing, awesome Club ReFresh girls.  Sniff…

[[  below  ]]   Andria fulfilling one of her big dreams: becoming a pro belly dancer and instructor!  You can take a class with her in Seattle.  I’m SOO in when I get back.   Check it out.

Moral of this rather long post?  Dreams come true. We make our own luck, so get clear about what you want, keep your positive intentions handy, and have faith.  Take a step forward, even when you’re scared.  Don’t be afraid of being brilliant, of your amazing juicy life, or working hard to make it all happen.

And if you need some encouragement, I’m here.  In spirit, on the intraweb, and soon enough, in the flesh.

To the Road Trip!

photo credit : daredarlington

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