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Reclaiming My Life

posted 16th September 2011    Written by: Kristen    CATEGORY: Job/Career/Work, Kristen, Life Lesson, Love/Relationships, Quarterlife Crisis

It’s easy to look back at my life and see what went wrong and all the times I should have stood up for me and said what was on my mind, but in the thick of it, it was hard to figure out what was going on in my head.

When I finished graduate school in 2007, I was headstrong and inspired to make a difference in the museum world. I landed a job right away and was so excited that it came with benefits and was close to home, I didn’t think about what I wanted and if it was a good fit for me.

It ended up being that it was nowhere near what I expected and I entered into a sad place and the beginning of the QLC- though I didn’t know it at the time. Living at home, with few friends (most had moved away), I leaned on the boyfriend (now husband) to provide my happiness and excitement, to plan weekends, and took a back seat to my life.

Before this, I wanted to move out of my parents’ house as soon as I was done with grad school and could get on my financial feet. Somehow I ended up staying with them until I bought a house with husband. I went from living under their roof as a daughter to living under one as a wife, never having my independent living as I wanted. In fact, I bought the house in 2009, I did not live in the house until I was a married woman a year later. To see it now with a clearer vision, it makes me crazy that I didn’t see how I was letting other people make decisions for me.  

After getting a new job which I LOVE and discovering the Stratejoy site and blog, I applied for the Stratejoy scholarship in 2011. It didn’t matter to me if I earned the prize or not (though I was crossing fingers and toes in hope); for me, the process of telling another person what was going on in my head was a huge step. Telling Molly all the thoughts that I was afraid to say out loud was incredibly scary—but absolutely essential. It was the first step in reclaiming my life and an act of love for myself. This website and Molly’s commitment to helping fabulous females find their path- helped pull me from the darkness I was in.

It’s very important for me to share this journey of divorce and finding myself with all of you not just because it’s incredibly cathartic to be able to work through it in this format (as well as holding me accountable and giving me discipline), but because it is so important for women to know that they are not alone. Even before discovering Stratejoy, I firmly believed that the Quarter Life Crisis and women in their 20s was sort of like being 16 again– minus the raging hormones and parents.

We’re all in a time of uncertainty and figuring out what life looks like for us- having a community of ladies together to work through life’s speed bumps is crucial. I can say that I spent so much time, money, and years focusing on achieving my successful career that I neglected my essential self and what I wanted outside of the museum. I  wanted things in a certain way and at a certain time that I never stopped to think of what I wanted and who I wanted- or to listen to what that other person in my life might have to say about any of those things either.

I know that I am working towards my best self and living an authentic, joyful life because as I have told people in my world about my changing marital status, I have heard nothing but positivity. Yes, of course, people feel badly about the ending of a marriage, but on more than one occasion, with people I know well and those who I work with casually, people have said how I seem to have a glitter in my eye that was not there, that a peaceful happiness has returned. The best came from a college friend who I had not seen in months. He dates one of my closest friends (also from college). We met up for lunch and it was like no time had gone by for the three of us. After we said our goodbyes, my friend sent me a text. It said: “James just said- ‘That was Kristen. She’s Kristen again.” 

 

[Photo Credit: Creer Blog Remunere]

 

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Note to My 18-Year-Old Self

posted 20th January 2010    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Season 1, What I've Learned

Looking back, I feel like I have been about 20 different versions of myself over the past 7 years. It’s hard to know whether or not I will become another 20 different version in the coming 7 years….

I hope not.

I would like to think that maybe, just maybe, I’m starting to figure out this thing called life and have less anxiety and fear. Someday, I hope to wake up and say “I’m not living a Quarter Life Crisis anymore!”

Um, that day is not going to be tomorrow or the next day, but, it’s a goal nonetheless.

I’ve learned a lot in the past 7 years, hell I have learned a lot about myself in the past 6 months! It’s made much of my past clear and gives me hope for the future.

If I had kept a journal of all the things I learned, I would be able to tell 18-year-old girls some of those amazing life lessons. I think though, that part of living 18-25 is making mistakes and learning from them on your own.

That’s why its called LIFE- right? Your time to learn through living and being.

However, if I were to look back on my 18-year-old self, I would give the following personal advice:

What would you write to your 18-year-old self?  What valuable lessons have you learned over the past 5 or so years of your life that you wish you could go back and tell yourself?

P.S.- My best friend I look exactly the same today and for that we are super proud!!

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