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Addicted to the Busy

posted 30th April 2011    Written by: Bri    CATEGORY: Bri, Life Lesson

As part of the wonderful Molly’s Joy Juice [Beta] I’ve been receiving some pretty phenomenal journaling prompts in my inbox every week.  I have really relished the opportunity to spend some quiet, reflective, me-time these past weeks and I wanted to share an little epiphany I had during the process.

One of the prompts asks how you spend your time.   The things that we spend our time doing says something about us, right?  Are you spending time doing things that fill you up?   Are you running around like a chicken without their head in an effort to distract yourself from your own life?   I tend to err toward the latter.

Before Mr. A, I was busy doing something every single night of the week.  I would run from work to some scheduled meeting/event/function, and while at times I loved it, I had been running on empty.  I was exhausted and I could feel myself having to force my smile and energy more than normal.  I was keeping up the break-neck momentum out of fear of what I would feel if I stopped for a day.  I was lonely.  I was avoiding myself.  Frantic business was better than dealing with the loneliness.

Being pregnant has changed everything. I feel like I have received the golden ticket to only do the things that are important to me.  My social calender is minimal with most nights spent snuggling in bed with Mr. A.  If I want to spend an evening ignoring my phone and indulging in a marathon of Gilmore Girls, that’s that I do.  If I crave Thai food and then ice cream cones and then yogurt and then Cheerios, that’s what I eat.  I have been quiet enough to be able to hear my body’s requests, and I am giving into it all. I have never felt more calm and myself.  I am so happy I am pregnant and finally figured out how to politely weed out all the crap that was filling my calender but not me.

BUT…

Why did I wait so long to start intentionally filling myself up?  Why did I need a baby-on-the-way to finally put up some boundaries with my time?  Now that I have some time freed up  I am focusing on some pretty important things.  I am growing a baby for starters (that is currently as big as a fig with all of it’s internal organs developed).  I am spending time with Mr. A, figuring out what I can do to make him feel adored and loved.  I have read three book in the past two weeks.  I’ve spent time dreaming about the life that will be here in 6 months. I am often asleep by 9pm.  I’m listening to my heart, my body, and my soul food-cravings better than I ever have.

What are YOU waiting for?  What are the things that you’re doing that aren’t filling you up?  What would you be doing if you had the golden ticket to get out of all those obligations that keep you moving at a manic pace?  Why can’t you start today?

{Photo Credit}

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Finding Balance through my Core Values

posted 3rd March 2010    Written by: Heather Rae    CATEGORY: Heather Rae, Job/Career/Work, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2

I’ve gone from one extreme to the next.

The first couple of weeks after leaving my day job, I felt unorganized, somewhat scattered.  I had difficulty managing my time, and I wasn’t focusing on my writing projects as much as I would have liked.

With a little effort, I found a few ways to turn that around.  I started getting up early and setting specific times that I had to get work done.  I closed the door and thus closed myself off from the world.

I worked, worked, worked.

Moving from underproductive to uber productive was seriously exciting.  I got SO much done.  I stayed up late and got up early.  I had energy.  I felt exhilarated.  I re-launched my personal blog, In Search of Squid, got a lot of prewriting done on the novel, and started pumping out blog posts.

I was on fire.

But now, I’ve hit the other side of that wall.  I am in desperate need of balance.

You see, last week, I crashed.  I had been getting up early and going to bed late.  Even when taking a break for dinner or catching up with the fiancé, I had the computer on my lap, and I was responding to blog comments or working on a writing project.  General exhaustion and a lack of sleep then took over.  I couldn’t sit down to write without my eyelids drooping and feeling the need to take a nap.

Now, this has been my first experience working for myself.  I’ve never tried to do this before.  And let me tell you, striking a balance between work and all the rest is seriously harder than it looks. My work life and home life have now merged.  How does one handle this while maintaining a healthy balance of work, rest and play?

Enter, The Joy Equation.

I had been working through Molly’s Thirty Day Guide to Living Life on Purpose for the past few weeks.  Well, let me be more accurate, I’d working on it a little and thinking about working on it a lot.  Every time I picked it up, I felt guilty for taking time away from my writing projects.  I would eventually set it down with the idea that I could always do more later.

Then, the week of droopy eyelids and utter exhaustion came into play.  I realized I needed to slow down.  I needed a little perspective and some fresh ways to approach working on my own.

I spent last weekend pondering, journaling and planning.  I took a look at what really matters to me and sought new ways to maintain a sense of calm, wellness and balance in my life.

While doing this, I sat down and listened to the first audio session of The Joy Equation.  Molly walked me through a guided meditation, then a series of questions and exercises aimed at getting me to unearth my core values.  I attempted to figure out – what do I really care about; what values resonate with me; what truly matters?

In the past, I’ve tried to make time to consider my personal core values, and I’ve attempted to align my life in such a way as to be true to myself.  I can’t recommend this practice enough.  It’s powerful.  It opens doors and allows you to see your life in a whole new way.  What I love about Molly’s approach is that she really has you work it out.  You ask questions, you answer questions, you put it all in writing.

You set intentions for the week, and you find creative ways to really make it work for you.

Sometimes I just need a little nudge, something to give me permission to take time out for myself.  This was exactly the nudge I needed.  I’ve been so focused on doing the work I love, that I nearly forgot the many other things in life that matter to me too. Identifying my core values helped me to remember this.

In looking at those values, I noticed one thing that continued to show up – my love for being outside and in nature.  I really enjoy things like walking, hiking and camping.  I love fresh air and green trees and the sight of the ocean.

And then I realized something – I rarely make time to do this.

Why?  I’m not sure.  I think sometimes we get lost in ourselves, in our daily lives.  We forget to do those things that bring us joy, especially when it takes a little extra time, effort or attention.

So I’m taking a cue from my Joy Plan; I’m setting an intention for the week.  And that intention is simply to go on a hike.

According to Lao Tzu, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”  My journey is to connect with my true, authentic self.  In cultivating the powerful habits that will bring me to that authentic self, I must take small steps to get there.  This is simply one of those small steps.

I’m also making a commitment to myself:  each week, I’ll re-look at my core values. Whichever jumps out at me as something I’ve been overlooking, I’ll take action, and I’ll plan something that honors that value for the week.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.  What are some things you do to maintain balance in your own life?

photo credit: janusz l

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