Archive

How I Am Going To Prove Myself Wrong

posted 29th November 2011    Written by: Ashley    CATEGORY: All Posts, Ashley, Life Lesson, Season 5, What I've Learned

Today I ran 3 miles in 36 minutes. Yesterday I ran 3 miles in 39 minutes. The day before that I ran 3 miles in41 minutes. And before that? Well, there’s no record of that because I didn’t run.

In elementary and middle school I hated gym class, specifically anything that involved running. I have never been the “sporty” type, but I stayed active through dance classes and gymnastics. I guess that’s why I feel so drawn to yoga. I love finding new poses and positioning my body to create art, but running has never been my thing. Okay, to be completely honest, I ran/walked a 5k once and I usually run a mile once or twice a week at the gym. That’s it.

I’m not a runner. Or at least, I wasn’t.

Then I spent a weekend in Boston with my friends and they were talking about running a half-marathon in February and I couldn’t stop myself from saying “I want to run it too!”

You know how everyone has those “30 Before 30″ and  ”Life Lists”? I have one of those too, in my head. And one of my goals is to complete a half-marathon. So, now I’m going to actually do it.

I’m only one week into the training program, but I can already feel the changes. My quads are sore and feel like they are trying to rip apart every time I sit down, but besides that? I feel healthier. I feel stronger. My time has improved each day and I love the extra motivation to try harder during the following workout. Also, it might be my imagination, but I can kind of already see more definition in my legs which is awesome.

It’s also challenging. Obviously. My breathing is pretty awful because I haven’t quite figured out how to  keep breathing while running. And I’m still learning how to pace myself. I’m learning that on a treadmill it’s much easier to run slower and therefore, run further. But outside, even with the running app on my phone, I run much faster than I do inside. And the weather! Did you know there isn’t air conditioning on the trails in the park? It’s just windy and humid (and a high of 83 degrees today!), so that make it a bit more difficult.

It’s like any big accomplishment, though. I mean, when I applied to college, and later, graduate school, I knew what I was getting myself in to. I knew I would have to read thousands of pages, spend countless hours writing papers, and work my butt off. When I decided to become a counselor, I knew it would be a process. I knew it wouldn’t happen overnight. I would have to work for it. Just like anything else in life. Just like this half-marathon.

There are going to be times when I want to stop, I’m sure. But I won’t.

I know what I want.

I want to finish. I want to push myself further than I ever have before. I might get a few blisters along the way, but that’s okay. I will run through the pain. I want to prove myself wrong. I want to prove that I can do this. I also want to have fun. I want to walk away feeling proud of myself and feeling accomplished. I want to feel encouraged and unstoppable.

The race is February 19th. I have an intention. I have several weeks to train. I have accountability partners. I have a schedule. And I have the cutest pair of new running shoes.

I’m ready.

[photo credit: Me; my cute new running shoes!]

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Adventures in Flourishing

posted 8th August 2011    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

No adventure is complete without an opening dance sequence.

Remember Adventures in Babysitting?  I mean, who didn’t love Elizabeth Shue lip-synching her heart out? Go ahead! Get up and groove for 2 minutes before we begin our adventure together…

I will admit I’m completely ripping off the title of this post and my forthcoming August blog series from two sources:  the classic 80′s movie above and Martin Seligman’s Flourish:  A Visionary New Understanding of Happiness and Well-being.  Other sources of inspiration include Seligman’s Authentic Happiness, Brene Brown’s The Gifts of Imperfection, Chogyam Trungpa’s Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior, Sakyong Mipham’s Ruling Your World, and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s Finding Flow: The Psychology of Engagement with Everyday Life.

Ready?  Welcome to…

ADVENTURES: A risky undertaking of unknown outcome. An exciting or unexpected event or course of events.

FLOURISH: To grow well or luxuriantly; thrive. To do or fare well; prosper. To be in a period of highest productivity, excellence, or influence.

What exactly am I undertaking?  A month of immersion in applied Positive Psychology, inspired by the books above, filtered through my own experience.

It’s a commitment to all those personal best practices that I know make me the most vibrant and centered Molly possible, based on scientific studies of motivation, optimism, and character.  It’s a personal experiment, not a preaching tool. It’s an inquiry into my own version of the good life.  I’m going to be sharing my ups and downs with you, regardless of how I feel it makes me look.  It could get messy.  It could fail miserably.  It could be a raging success.

I’m open to whatever comes.  That’s part of the adventure!

WHY NOW?  Most of you know I just moved to San Diego, right?  Well, it’s been a million times harder than I thought it would be.  There.  I admitted it.

I’m homesick for my sister, my girlfriends in Seattle, and all the creature comforts I knew how to access without thinking in a familiar city.  The Big Man is working long days at an actual office (Gasp! We’re not together 24/7!) and I’m trying to settle back into a productive, creative work routine, with a few more family and business responsibilities than I had previously.  Though the weather is amazing, the beach access parallel to none, and the city vibe friendly, I don’t feel anywhere close to at home.

To top it off, I feel guilty about not loving my life right now.  I mean, hello!  I’m in a gorgeous place, continuing to work on my dream business, totally in love with my husband, completely healthy and not wanting for anything…

Who am I to complain? Especially on my website that promotes strategies for joy!   Especially when I have access to so many cool tools and ways to tap into well-being.  I’m supposed to be the expert here!  I teach other people how to value their happiness and embrace their strengths.  Gasp, cough, imposter syndrome, mascara smears, downward spiral, self-imposed isolation…

(Insert pained face and rolling of the eyes.)

See the conversation I’ve been having in my head?  To blog about the low points or not?  To share with you the down times or only highlight the awesome?  I made a promise to you in the beginning of Stratejoy to be honest and authentic. And though it feels completely vulnerable right now, I’m sticking to that!

I need to take some of my own medicine. I want to stop procrastinating on some healthy and creative habits, and I want to let go of some unhealthy crutches.  It’s time to dive into Adventures in Flourishing!

 

Clear the Slate.

One of the things that has become abundantly clear to me in this last month is that I’ve been distracting myself from my own life by relying on passive leisure, instead of engaging in active leisure.  Passive leisure are things that feel “nice” but require little thought, ability, or skill: television, junk novels, internet surfing, alcohol, etc.  Active leisure activities are still “fun,” but they require you to engage, learn, create, or otherwise experience flow: sports, creative pursuits, cooking for pleasure, dancing, playing games, learning a new hobby, or gardening are a few examples.  Ideally, active leisure provides feelings of “being in the zone” — intense pockets of time where goals are clear, feedback available, and your skill level is slightly pushed by the challenge.

I’ve been indulging in two main distractions in my life right now: drinking and hulu.com…  Neither are necessarily “bad”, but when they come at the expense of other activities in my life, I know I’m out of balance.  When they become forms of comfort or “check out time” instead of appreciated pleasures, I know it’s time to reign them in.  I want to feel like I’m in control of my personal choices, instead of the reverse.

As the ever-inspiring priestess, Danielle LaPorte says, “What’s on your Stop Doing List?”

To clear the slate for this month:

  • I’m giving up drinking for the time being
  • Restricting my television time to the occasional movie with the Big Man

Is this permanent?  Who knows?  But I want to experiment with the extra time and energy by devoting it to a flow activity that I’ve been neglecting lately…  Writing.

Add in One Flow Activity.

Writing is one of those things I keep saying I love, but it gets pushed to the bottom of my to do list.  Especially when I’m overindulging in my distraction crutches of alcohol and t.v!

So…  It’s on, baby.  I am devoting the first two hours of my working days (Monday to Friday) to writing, somewhere between 7:30 am and 11 am.  I can work on blog posts, newsletters, guest posts, Joy Juice Prompts, or content for Reclaim Leadership.  As long as I’m writing (and sipping coffee!) I’m golden.  I want my schedule reflect my priorities and this is the beginning of that process.

Will this be easy? No. Will I report to you how I’m doing?  YES.  But only after I’m done writing.  Social Media is a definite no-no for those 2 hours!

What happens when I don’t feel like I have “time”?  Or have to travel to speaking gigs or have an early morning coaching call?  I don’t know- we’ll find out together.

 

  1. Stop Drinking: 1 day Sober.  (bahahaha!)
  2. Stop Hulu.com:  1 day TV free.
  3. Write in the Morning: 1 day complete.  (You’re reading the product!)

Is anyone going to join me in Adventures in Flourishing?

What will you let go of to clear the slate?  What Flow Activity will you add?  Share in the comments or on the Facebook Wall!  To new adventures and flourishing in life, sista’!

p.s.  Group Coaching Registration ends on Friday! 

 

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Tell Negative Nellie to Shut Up

posted 15th March 2009    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

I know this is a blog faux pas, but I apologize for slacking on posting.

Why have I been slacking? Good question.

I could list several reasons “why” that will impress you since I’m the big cheese over here: I’ve been asked to guest blog on so many sites I can’t keep up with my own, I’ve been practicing Vipassana mediation 2 hours daily, or I’m taking the Tim Ferris approach to doing as little as possible & still making oodles of money.

Unfortunately, none of those are true.

So, why haven’t I been writing?  It’s pretty cut & dry.  I was letting Negative Nellie talk me down.

She was all up in my face with her “Why are you wasting so much effort on this silly blog?” and “No one cares what you have to say”.  She was whispering in my ear, “F..A..I..L..U..R..E” and “Who are you to think you can create something out of nothing?” Read more…

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Stratejoy Manifesto Part 1: Let the Inspiration Spark

posted 20th January 2009    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Molly, Stratejoy the Biz, Tips & Tools

[Welcome to a 4 part Blog Post on the philosophy behind Stratejoy.  We'll hit Inspiration, Clarity, Accountability & Camaraderie over the next 2 weeks. Stay tuned & if you like--share with a friend or two!]

First a nod, a salute & whooping cheer for the inspirational speech delivered today.

“In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.”  -President Barack Obama

Are you ready to be that risk-taker?  That doer? To earn your greatness in the world?

First step:  Get Inspired

Before you can start any new task, especially one as grand as designing and living an authentic life, you’ll need a whole suitcase full of inspiration & motivation to carry you through.  These emotions are what give you the kick in the butt to get started, keep you going when the going gets tough & remind you why you’re striving.

Read more…

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