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6 Months Worth Of Lessons In Under 600 Words

posted 27th July 2010    Written by: Nicole Antoinette    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Life Lesson, Nicole Antoinette, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, What I've Learned

When I started writing for Stratejoy, I had just up and moved to San Francisco with no job, no money, no friends, no place to live, and no plan. I had a crush on a boy and a love for the Golden Gate Bridge, but that was about it.

In the time that’s passed between then and now, I have found an incredible job, a stable income, a place to live, some of the best friends I’ve ever had, a plan for the future, a relationship with a new (and infinitely better-for-me) boy, and a continually renewing love for the Golden Gate Bridge.

Taking this weekly pause to write about the more serious side of my life has helped me frequently reflect on who I am, who I want to be, and how to best close the gap between the two. In those moments of reflection, here are the lessons I’ve learned:

Take the time to talk things out with the people you care about. Honest communication solves most problems before they become problems at all. And don’t just talk, listen.

Understand that different doesn’t have to mean bad. I’m me and you’re you and our differences can help us bring each other closer to where we want to be.

Send thank you cards. Sincere expressions of gratitude let someone know that what they did mattered to you, and most of the time what we need is to feel appreciated.

Make plans. The only thing better than having something delicious to look forward to is feeling the plans turn to memories and knowing you’ll be able to fondly remember them forever.

Treat yourself better than you treat anyone else. Understand that selfish and self-care are two different things, and that you can’t show up for anyone else if you don’t show up for yourself first.

Remember that your greatest freedom is the freedom to choose. You can choose which impulses to follow and which to ignore. You can choose who you let into your life, how you spend your time, and what occupies your thoughts. Think good thoughts.

Find what inspires you, and then mainline it on the regular. There’s no such thing as too much inspiration.

Stand up for the people you love and the beliefs that move you. Let yourself be passionate, even if it means your ideas and feelings will be isolating to some. We’re not here to please everyone and there’s no glory in being watered down, overly accommodating versions of ourselves.

Stop wanting what you don’t want. Learn to tell the difference between what you actually want and what your ego wants. Tell your ego to shut the hell up.

Ask questions. Other people can’t read your mind, so don’t assume you can read theirs. The fastest way to find out what you want to know is to just ask.

Give people room to make mistakes. High standards give you great results, but unrealistic standards give you nothing but disappointment.

And lastly, take risks. If you don’t jump to try to reach your best possible life, who will?

[Note from the editor: Nicole Antoinette, it's been an absolute JOY, to have you in my life these last 8 months.  Can you believe that's all it's been?   From our very first emails that crossed paths in the ether, to lunch in SF, to phone calls asking the Universe to just get you to California, to the amazing hot mess you pulled off in Vegas- you are a bundle of energy, an amazing friend, and a woman to be reckoned with.

I thank you from the very bottom of my heart for sharing your passion, your killer writing skills, and such an intimate slice of your life over here.  The Tribe and I will never be the same, sweetness! Here's to the big dreams coming true, finding happiness in the small moments, and being utterly and deliciously YOU.  'Cause you're so damn good at being YOU.   Love, Love, Love,   Molly]

photo credit: Jamie Varon

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Two Month Countdown

posted 20th April 2010    Written by: Nicole Antoinette    CATEGORY: Job/Career/Work, Love/Relationships, Nicole Antoinette, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2

In less than two months, I’m going to be 25.

Um, WHAT?

That’s not a rhetorical question. Seriously, what? Can someone please come over and sit me down and explain how I went from high school to college to being four years out of college to being in my two month countdown to turning 25 years old? Because I sure as hell can’t seem to figure that one out.

When people bring up my birthday and my eyes go all dinner-plate-big, they remind me that “age is just a number” and that “25 isn’t any different than 24.” To which I say, “flkjgflkghj,” because 25 sounds like a much more serious adult age than any age I’ve ever been, and let’s not forget that at 25 I can much more inexpensively rent a car. Let’s not forget that.

Truthfully, I have no idea what will be going on the day I turn 25. I know it’s only two months away, but in my current roller coaster life, two months is two eternities. It was only four months ago that I signed on to write for Stratejoy, and I did so from my parents’ couch in Arizona, surrounded by no job, no place to live, no life plan, and a crush on a boy in San Francisco. In the four months that have screeched by between then and now, I got off their couch, got in my car, and drove my no job, no place to live, no life plan, and big crush from Arizona to San Francisco to see how things played out. Here’s how they played out:

I arrived in San Francisco on a Sunday night and checked into a hostel in a questionable area in the pouring rain. It took three minutes for me to question my sanity, three hours for me to call my mom hysterically crying, and three days for things to unravel with that boy.

And so, less than a week into my “Nicole is so brave and moved to San Francisco!” plan, I had lost the only real connection I had to an entirely unknown city and was staring down an overwhelming case of “What now?”

I needed to regroup.

I needed a friend and a bubbly drink and a plate of cheese and I needed them now. Jamie agreed to come out with me, to take our we-met-through-Twitter friendship offline and finally squeal and jump around together in person. A drink later, we realized we were best friend soulmates. A day later we signed a lease together. A week later we decided to join creative forces to relaunch Shatterboxx Media, her kickass awesome graphic and web design company. And four months later we’re really doing it, working from home, expanding the business, pursuing our writing, exploring the city, and drinking a damn impressive amount of wine along the way.

Which makes me wonder, if four months can give me an entirely new life, top to bottom, can something equally as soul changing come about in the next two?

I don’t see why not. Stay tuned.

photo credit

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Are You Having a Quarterlife Crisis?

posted 29th January 2010    Written by: Molly Hoyne    CATEGORY: All Posts, Molly, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2

Fact:  The Quarterlife Crisis is a real experience of Gen Y, of women in their twenties and early thirties.

Fact:  You are not alone. If you feel disconnected from your life, not sure what the fuck you’re supposed to do next, disappointed that your day-to-day isn’t living up to all the expectations you had for it, have that eerie feeling that there should be something more, are overwhelmed by all the possibilities out there, or just feel totally unlike your awesome self–Yup, we get it. Been there.

Fact: The Quarterlife Crisis is the a Rite of Passage. Embrace it. Use it to grow and learn and laugh hysterically that you make ends meet by dressing up like a Cheddar Cheese Loaf while pursuing your painting on the side.  Hey, it’s YOUR life!

Fact:  This article explains the intricacies of today’s Quarterlife Crisis.

If you’re a familiar face around Stratejoy, you know that we’ve had Robyn, Kendra, Andrea and Marisa writing about their day to day experience of conquering, or at least surviving, their QLC for the past 6 months.  Well, today it’s time to welcome three new women to “Season 2″! Without further ado, I am thrilled to introduce you to Nicole Antoinette, Heather Rae, and Katie!

Season 2 Guest Bloggers

These woman are gutsy. They’re helping spread the word that the Quarterlife Crisis happens to the best of us and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that fact.  They’re helping challenge the stigma that this “crisis” is considered a failure and that somehow we could have avoided it, if only we had everything figured out.

Those of us who have experienced/are experiencing a QLC haven’t failed.  We are not selfish Gen Yers wallowing in some perceived notion that life should be handed to us on golden platter. We’re not blaming our parents and our education for encouraging us to go after it all.

We’re simply admitting we don’t have it “figured out” at a time in our lives when we thought we would. And we are gutsy enough to take control of our happiness.

And as long as you don’t allow your Quarterlife Criris to take you down and out, you will be stronger, healthier and happier for it.  It will force you to really think about your life, to challenge expectations and to carve out your own definition of success.

These women — Nicole, Heather, Katie– are living proof of that.

What I ask of you?  Participate! Join in the conversation here on the blogs.  Become part of the community on Facebook. Interact with all of us on Twitter ( Nicole, Heather, Katie and me, Molly)!  Let your voice, your opinion, your experience be heard.  Share, learn and laugh your ass off with us.

Get excited!  They’re going LIVE next week!

Do you love the new Bio Boxes as much as I do?  All credit goes to the rockstar duo at Shatterboxx Media: Jamie Varon and our very own Nicole Antoinette! They’ve been amazing to work with and you’ll definitely be seeing some more collaboration between Stratejoy & Shatterboxx.

Shatterboxx Media is a graphic and web design company that thrives at the intersection of simplistic design and functionality. Specializing in the creation of gorgeous, multi-functional, and powerful websites, Shatterboxx is passionate about bringing inspired ideas to life.

So, who are these talented foxes?

Jamie Varon- Founder, Design Maven, Ultimate Typography Snob. Jamie is the pixelated pioneer behind the company’s entire portfolio of tricked out websites.  Nicole Antoinette- Chief Idea Officer & Princess of Particulars. Nicole, the newer half of the Shatterboxx duo, is the company’s gatekeeper and can usually be bribed with brownies and links to funny YouTube videos.

Thumbnail Credit : Eye Weekly

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