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Dancing Down the Path of Least Resistance

posted 31st October 2010    Written by: Lindsey    CATEGORY: Life Lesson, Lindsey, Season 3, What I've Learned

If you asked me-3-months-ago what I’d be doing today, I would have gotten the answer wrong.

Still living in small town Michigan? No way. Definitely not with your parents! Still feeling confused about your path in life? Of course not! Why you’ve had a whole summer of introspection, you have all the answers! Right? …. Right?!

Nope.

And that answer is okay with me. Sort of.

Walkin’ the Path

We are all on the same path called life. And some days we don’t have a fucking clue where we are walking, why we’re walking there, or, on the bad days, even how to walk. Other days are better. But not having a clue? That’s just fine.

There’s no “Figure it Out” police beating down my door telling me that by age 25 I have to have the answers. Realizing my life purpose wouldn’t be handed to me on a platter took a surprisingly long time. And accepting this took even longer.

As I prepare to leave everything behind again, and embark on a journey into the great unknown, I am reflecting on my past, and pulling out lessons to take with me into the future.

The Path of Least Resistance

I was doing some YouTube Yoga with a friend the other day, and the video lady told us to take the path of least resistance in our practice. As someone who has spent a fair amount of time forcing her body into precarious yoga poses, this struck a chord with me.

What am I forcing in my life? Purpose. Career. Relationships. Et cetera. I have my Big Dream picture. I have me, in real life, right now. And a great long path in front of me, that eventually leads to Big Dream life. Which got me thinking…

Why must I force life, when there are so many fun surprises to be discovered along the way?

So I made some rules for myself, to keep me on my path of least resistance.

What you want and what you get are two different things. Get over it.

Whatever preconceived notions you have about your future are wrong. There is no way to predict the future. Dreams are a glorious way to make sure you are on a path that fulfills and motivates you but the exact picture in your head will likely never turn out exactly as you see it. (Shhh, It might even turn out better.)

There is a point where dreams must be recognized as nothing more than dreams. Use them as guiding principles as you create your reality. Reality is much better anyways, because it’s, well, real.

Your purpose in life is to live. Simple as that.

Obsess over finding your passion and your purpose all you want, but I’m not convinced this is a useful way to spend your time. Get out of your head and experience life.

Humanity is beautiful.

You aren’t perfect. No one is perfect. But on your best days, there is someone in your life who can make it better. Share a meal. Give a gift. Smile. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will replace the amazing value of other people.

Dancin’ that Path Because Walking is Less Fun

Depression has become a natural partner to the confusion of finding purpose in life. When it doesn’t work out, it’s easy to fall into a state of sadness and disappointment. Walking the path, and especially on the path of least resistance is good. But, hell, let’s turn on some jams, put on our dancing shoes and spin down it. I am so sick of waiting to celebrate, I might just do it the whole way there. Where ever “there” is…

{photo credit : mikebaird}

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Defining My Values

posted 21st August 2010    Written by: Renee    CATEGORY: Inspiration, Renee, Season 3, Spirituality

I completed the Joy Equation in February 2010.  As part of Week One, I was instructed to identify my eight core values. This was new territory for me.  My values?  No one has ever asked about my values. The only time I ever hear the word “values” is when the religious right shouts about “family values” which is really just a band-aid for bigotry. I had to warm up to the word. What are my values?

At first, with my Catholic background, I thought about the Beatitudes, from Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount.

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are the meek: for they shall possess the land.
Blessed are they who mourn: for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after justice: for they shall have their fill.
Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the clean of heart: for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Blessed are they that suffer persecution for justice’s shake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
(Matthew 5:3-10)

Peace? Yeah, okay, that sounds good. Justice? Sure. Merciful? Acceptable. Poor in spirit? Meek? Mourning? I get it, but those aren’t my values. I don’t want to lie down at the end of each day and ask myself, “Renee, were you poor in spirit today?” It doesn’t seem motivating.

I had to dig deeper. My Catholicism still clenched me in its grasp. I thought about the seven spiritual works of mercy.

1. Instruct the ignorant.
2. Counsel the doubtful.
3. Admonish sinners.
4. Bear wrongs patiently.
5. Forgive offenses willingly.
6. Comfort the afflicted.
7. Pray for the living and the dead.

Ah! Here we go. Teach. Counsel. Console. Forgiveness. Compassion. Patience. Peace. We’re getting closer. Thanks, St. Thomas of Aquinas, for teaching me about mercy.

The Joy Equation states, “Our core values are the habits of our heart.” What makes my heart cry out? What moves me to action? What would I fight to for the right to enjoy and experience?

I narrowed down a long, long list with notes in the margins reminding myself “not what I should choose, rather what resonates with me.” Finally, I came up with eight. And then I defined them.

Honesty – Being honest with myself and others, telling the truth, saying what I mean, and always having good, open communication.

Peace – Being at peace with myself, things in my life that I can’t change, and cutting back on the arguing to focus on the greater good. “Good enough is good enough.” –Jane Fonda

Love – Keeping love in my heart and showing it at all times, making everyone feel special and worth of my time. Radiate Love.

Patience – Knowing what matters enough to stress me out and what’s not worth my worries. Keeping my temper in check. Taking deep breaths and going slowly. Keep calm and carry on.

Joy/Humor – Smiling and laughing more than frowning and crying. Finding humor in unfavorable situations. Being able to laugh at myself. Enjoying the company of others. Finding my fun.

Compassion – Knowing when others need my help, a second chance, or a compromise. Putting myself in others’ shoes. Being flexible to accommodate the needs of others when they need it most.

Passion – Recognizing the drive I need to go after what I want. Taking life by the horns. Fearlessly pursuing the things I love. Making time to do things for me.

Authenticity – Knowing what’s best when I need it most. Staying true to myself. Putting my needs first. Taking time to fix #1. Not compromising my values. Doing what I need to do. Not being fake. Giving 100% all the time but knowing what 100% is.

When you wrap up my values and put a pretty bow on them, you can see the Beatitudes and spiritual works of mercy trickling through them… but you can also see my liberal arts education and my ferocious feminism. I can tell where I’m trying to reel in my Type A, Arian personality, trying to cool off my fire sign. I can tell where I’m trying to open my heart just a little more, to soften my rough edges and let a little more light in.

There’s something empowering about naming your values and doing your best to adhere to them, something very tenacious and gritty that I love.  It makes for one hell of a personal journey.

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