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Loving What Is and the Practice of Savoring

posted 5th April 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: Molly, Quarterlife Crisis, Tips & Tools

Life is full right now.

Full of planning for the future, including a wedding and the beginning of a marriage.

Full of savoring the present (spinach soup cooked by the Big Man, clean sheets, talking to my mum on the phone).

Full of building my business and my coaching practice (yay for new one-on-one clients this month!).

Full of girls trips to Mexico and burlesque lessons and checking things off my life list (I’m the one in the leopard hat! Door babe at the Moisture Festival.  Life Goal #29: check!).

Full of unknowns, and not-quite-to-ready-to-share adventures, and how-the-hell-am-I-ever-going-to-get-it-all-done-in-this-lifetime anxiety moments…

I’m in awe of the fullness.  Scary as it is, it’s also delicious.

And it’s new.  I’ve spent a lot of time feeling “empty” as my Quarterlife Crisis challenged my sense of identity, my purpose, my sanity (!).  The work I’ve been doing the last three years to conquer said Quarterlife Crisis — the seeking, learning, examining — has left me feeling a bit tender, a bit vulnerable.  I scooped out and trashed so many false beliefs and old expectations that it left me feeling hollow.

It’s just now, in this past year, that I’m starting to fill up the empty space with true desires. Essential beliefs about myself and the world I live in.  Authentic longings for adventure.  For simplicity.  For creative expression and freedom.

It’s incredible exciting.  And I’m trying hard to enjoy each distinct moment when I connect with that “I am totally alive!” feeling. I’m trying hard to love and savor “what is”.

I love that I’m pushing myself to grow as a coach, writer, and performer, even when it’s hard.

I love that YOU are out there.  Reading, learning, teaching, agreeing, disagreeing, traveling your own Quarterlife Crisis journey, being my comrade in arms. And in the spirit of learning, I’d like to share a strategy of joy today!

Savoring is one of those happiness techniques that I’ve learned in my studies and attempt to practice in my day-to-day.

“When we truly savor something, like a fine wine or a well-cooked meal, we consciously take in our surroundings and experience our emotions with a powerful sense of appreciation for what is happening in the moment… Savoring has profound consequences and people who are adept at savoring have been found to be happier, less anxious, more grateful, healthier, blessed with more friendships, and even more persistent in the face of obstacles.” –Caroline Adams Miller

My challenge to you?  See if you can practice savoring in it’s three distinct forms this week! Here’s what it looks like for me…

SAVORING IN THE MOMENT

Take mental snapshots of moments you love.  Really soak them up in the exact moment you are experiencing them. Savoring the physical experience, as well as the feelings that arise.

My example: *Shutter Open* Right at this moment, I’m sitting at my kitchen table/work space drinking coffee out of my Wheat Montana mug, wearing my pink cardigan with sparkly buttons, writing a blog post for my business.  Sunshine is streaming in my window.  U2 is playing.  I love that I am providing for myself through a business I built with hope and hard work and incredible support of women near and far. It makes me feel proud and all smile-ey. *Shutter Close*

SAVORING IN ANTICIPATION

Practice savoring the upcoming happiness of a vacation, special date, start of a new class.  When you expect that good things will come your way, you’re more likely to act in a manner that will make those good things happen!

My example:  I love that the Big Man and I are planning a small wedding-on-the-river-in-the-garden and that we’re doing it together.  August 28th is going to be an amazing first day of our marriage.  I know that all the small details will work themselves out and that my family and friends will love celebrating with us!

It’s going to be a joyful day: the sun will shine, the food will be delicious, the drinks will flow, the singing will impress, the dancing will rock. I’m savoring the anticipation of our quirky country chic wedding.

SAVORING IN HINDSIGHT

Replay your happy moments to yourself, either by writing them down in a journal or simply replaying them in your mind. Reminiscing can also be done by scrap booking, reconnecting with the other people from your memories to story tell together, or displaying photos of great times.

My example:

Safari at the Zulu Nyala Game Lodge in South Africa, November 2007.  One of the highlights of our trip around the world, despite the torrential down pours.  The Big Man and I were laughing our heads off taking these pictures the entire week.  Of course, we took gorgeous and serious shots as well, but the “holding of the animals” still remind me of all the fun we have together.

What will you savor this week?   How will you love “what is”?

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8 Strategies to Improve Your Quality of Life

posted 10th April 2009    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Inspiration, Molly, Tips & Tools

What makes up a well lived life? It’s an intensely personal question. Your vision of success may be vastly different than mine.  I may value connections, authenticity & adventure; dream of kids, a thriving business & living in another country.  You’re driven by success, learning & independence; you won’t be complete until you hit CEO & found a charity. Our neighbor places importance on harmony, creativity & the community garden she started; the mailman digs abundance, vitality & contributing to his church.

That’s what makes the world such an intriguing beast.  We’re fascinating in our differences.

Whatever your definition of “the good life” may be, it’s vital that you enjoy & get meaning from the day-to-day while on your journey. This is something we all have in common, regardless of the particular path we’re on. Your daily experiences (your tasks, your schedule, the places you spend your energy & time) are what make up your life.  And in my book, that’s all we’ve really got.  Life.

“Attention is a tangible measure of love.  Whatever receives our time and attention becomes the center of gravity, the focus of your life.  This is what we do with what we love: We allow it to become our center.  What is at the center of your life?” –Wayne Muller

Are you ready for some inspiring & practical ways to rev up your capacity for joy, fulfillment & meaning? Ready for some tactics to improve the quality of your day-to-day life? I think I hear you shouting “Hell yes!”

Way to be.  Way to be.

Read more…

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