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Can I Have the Last 24 Years Back?

posted 2nd February 2010    Written by: Nicole Antoinette    CATEGORY: All Posts, Nicole Antoinette, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2, What I've Learned

INTRODUCING NICOLE ANTOINETTE

No one told me my Quarterlife Crisis would come with so much tequila.

I grew up on the move – Los Angeles, NYC, London, back to Los Angeles, back to NYC, back to Los Angeles. A whirlwind coming of age tour in the world’s cosmopolitan wonderland.

I did everything right. Aced high school, worked part time, rocked the extra curriculars, got into NYU, aced NYU (while still working and still rocking the extra curriculars), fell in love, fell out of love, made friends, lost friends, lived the life I had always been told I was supposed to live, graduated (a year early) with $50,000 in debt and a piece of paper that claimed I was summa cum awesome.

And then I cried.

Because I was 21 years old, in possession of one of the best educations student loans can buy, and all I had to show for it was a box of theme party costumes and a big fat hole where my life plan should have been.

The three years between then and now were filled with a lot of shenanigans- emotional, sexual, career wise and the like. I ran a children’s day camp for five summers, helped start a create-your-own cookie shop, worked an inhumane amount of hours, moved around a lot, broke two hearts, made a bucket full of bad decisions, came crashing into the reality of my mood disorder, started a blog, started therapy, and finally realized that the things I loved about my life didn’t outweigh the things that made me want to burrow into the ground and hide.

And then all of the sudden it was August 26, 2009 and I found myself quitting everything to live the life of a professional nomad, traveling around the country, crashing on couches, and trying to answer the big question:

What is authentic happiness and how can I start taking regular intravenous doses of it?

Three months went by; three months of seeing new things and meeting new people, three months of not having a routine, not having stability, and not having a definitive source of income or a guaranteed place to do laundry. The new things were great, the new people even better, but after three months I realized that life at the other end of the super-Type-A spectrum kind of sucks.

So it was back to Arizona, back to my parents’ house, back to slow cooked meals and late night talks with my mom about what, you know, the hell I was going to do with my life.

That was four weeks ago, but in the context of my story it feels like another lifetime. Four weeks ago, I woke up, realized that no one was going to hand me the life that I wanted, got in my car, drove to San Francisco, checked into a hostel, and jumped into the freshest of fresh starts, the kind where there is no backup plan and it’s time to fight like your life depends on it, because it does.

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I’m Not The Only 20-Something Suffering From a Quarter Life Crisis

posted 14th October 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Andrea, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1, Travel, Travel/Adventure

I must confess, I am an avid fan of Twitter. In the media field, Twitter is an essential part of connecting and conversing within communities. Many people have told me they don’t understand it or think its stupid- and that’s fine- but for me, Twitter is a never ending stream of resources, things to read and just general cool stuff.

Nicole Is BetterOnce in a while, I do random searches on Twitter for more blogging jobs or my personal curiosity, and I recently stumbled upon a fabulous fellow 20-something, Nicole Ross (@nicoleisbetter) living through a Quarterlife Crisis. Read about her story and I’m sure you will feel like you have known her for years, just like I did!

By the way, for any prospective employers out there, Nicole is a top-notch writer so be sure to send her some opportunities or contacts if any happen to cross your path.

I’m Not The Only 20-Something Suffering From a Quarterlife Crisis

AM: Nicole, tell me some fun things about you. What are you interests, hobbies and life goals.

RN: Hmm, let’s see. My life is pretty much a combination of traveling, writing, and continually searching for inspiration. My unofficial goal is to meet every single person on the planet. I’m overwhelmingly in love with: the world, iced tea, black & white photos, memoirs, giant hoop earrings, wine, eyeliner, pigtails, lists, and people who care enough to make a difference.

AM: I have an obsession with black and white photos & lists too!  How old are you Nicole?

NR: 24 ; I’ll be 25 next June

AM: What are you currently doing for a career or school?

NR: I spent the past five summers running a children’s summer day camp in Southern California, and while I absolutely loved working with kids and living by the beach, I always had the sneaky, unavoidable desire to give it all up to write and travel the world. So now, as of just last week, that’s officially what I’m doing, living the life of a Professional Nomad!

AM: I used to work at a day camp too and I have to say it was the best years of my working life! So tell me, what does that mean to be a “Professional Nomad” ?

NR: I’m terrified, of course, as is the norm for any “give up your safety net to follow your dreams” scenario, but I’m thrilled to finally be taking the risk to achieve what I’ve always wanted.

AM:When did you realize you were entering a QLC?

NR: The QLC crept up on me right after college. I graduated a year early and really had absolutely no clue what I wanted to do, what I could do, and how to be a “real adult.” Because, that’s the thing about college: it’s the culmination of 18 years of being told what to do, of following a syllabus, and then you get thrown off the academia train and realize that oh, there’s no syllabus for life and um, where the heck am I supposed to go from here?

AM: What happened?

NR: I bounced around a lot during the early months, especially since my non-traditional summer camp Director position allowed for a pretty flexible lifestyle. I tried different things, part-time jobs, hobbies, boyfriends, and nothing really stuck. I kept coming back to my camp, summer after summer, because it was comfortable, because it was what I did straight after college and something I knew I could do well.

Sometime during this past summer though, I knew I was ready to move on. I knew that what I wanted, more than anything, was to travel and meet as many people as possible and write and and write until my hand fell off. Figuring that out was easy, actually taking the leap was the insanely difficult part.

AM: What are some issues you face on a daily/weekly/monthly basis?

NR: I tend to constantly do the “OH MY GOSH WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE??” thing. Which is fun, clearly. I continue to face the big question of my generation, the “you have so much potential and so many opportunities, how are you going to make your mark?” I think I struggle with that a lot, with the feeling that I need to be incredible and that there’s some kind of timeline on it, that it should be happening rightthissecond and that I’m failing if I’m not blowing the walls off of everything at once.

AM: That seems to be a common trend among us 20-somethings, we have no idea what we are doing with our life! How have you dealt with these challenges?

NR: I’m definitely still dealing with them; it’s a consistent internal battle. The main way I try to combat it is to just be nice to myself. To realize that all I can do is the best that I can do, and that if I’m being true to myself and my values and my dreams, things will probably all fall together pretty well in the end.

AM: What have you learned so far, since your QLC began?

NR: I’ve learned that I need to rely on other people to get through it. As different as we all are, I feel that our similarities far outweigh that and at the end of everything, people are what really matter.

AM: If there is one tip you could give other women living though a  QLC, what would it be?

NR: Listen to yourself. I mean really listen. More often than not, the problem isn’t that we don’t know what we want, it’s that we don’t know how to get it, or don’t think we deserve it, or any other pile of excuses for why we’re not living our best possible life. Recognizing what you want is key, recognizing it and then respecting yourself enough to follow through with it.

AM: Thanks for sharing your story Nicole and good luck with all of your adventures.

To contact Nicole, follow her on Twitter @nicoleisbetter (She’s awesome!)

Andrea (new) bio.

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