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Spring Cleaning the Mind and Soul

posted 26th March 2011    Written by: Dee    CATEGORY: All Posts, Dee, Inspiration, Life Lesson, Quarterlife Crisis, Tips & Tools, What I've Learned

WAHOO! SPRING is almost here, poking it’s joyful little head out, inviting me to remember that there is always, always, always sunshine after the rain, calm after the storm, and warmth after months of cold.

And, look at those cute ducklings. A timeless representation of spring and new life. I like to think of them as the ducks in my life, representing things like my health, well-being, finances, future, creativity, you know. Important ducks. Aren’t they adorable?! Yeah, yeah. But, what in the shit are they doing? They have no clue what’s going on. They’re all in a big jumbled mess. A big pile of idiot ducks with no freaking clue. They’re just jumping around all aimless and crazy-like. Seriously, what are they doing? Standing around looking at walls and picking their butts?

Hey, dum-dums! Spring is coming and we’ve got to get it together! You can’t just run around quacking in circles anymore. I’ve got better things to do! There is sunshine to be soaked up, flowers to be picked, patios to enjoy and frolicking to be done.

This winter was the worst, straight up. It was craptastic all the way to the core. Sucky to the max. The past few months have been about struggling to just get by- forget trying to thrive. And the weather. Good gracious. Don’t even get me started on the effects of seasonal depression and the toll it took on my body, my spirit, and my ability to cope with the boat loads of stress that the universe so kindly tested me with. My poor little Jeep kept pooping out on me, I was stranded here there and everywhere across the Midwest because of thunder blizzards, my dear grandmother passed away, my computer shot craps, some asshole hurt my feelings, my part-time job ended and on and on and on. Every day was an exercise in managing small crises. Basically, ducks gone wild.

But, it’s all over now because what the hell else can go wrong, you know? I’ll take that sick and twisted relief, thank you very much. Be gone winter, and take all your dumb and annoying inconveniences with ya.

Truth be told, I know that some of the circumstances that plagued my winter were out of my control, but others were the result of a hectic, frenzied lifestyle that I have created. My mantra has subconsciously been to “deal with it as it comes!” or “go with the flow!” or “I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it!” I’ve really taken pride in that perspective. Sometimes that is a healthy, positive outlook.

But other times, thanks to my laid back attitude, I’ve found myself dealing with an overflow on a bridge that’s collapsing while ducks are running amok. The winter season opened my eyes to the idea that perhaps my philosophy isn’t working for me anymore.

What I’m looking for in this new season of my life is more calm, more peace, more organization and more preparation. Less last-minute, barely getting by stuff, less coaching myself through catastrophe. Fewer ducks in mayhem, more ducks in a nice, neat row.

And on the bright, bright side, daylight savings time snuck up a couple of weeks ago and blasted me with an extra hour and a shot of one hundred proof motivation to devote myself to that organization and spring cleaning. Whatever that hour and vitamin D does for the soul has exponentially improved my outlook and behavior. I can just feel the change of the seasons stirring outside my window and inside my soul.

I have just enough time to take care of the toxicity and weight that winter built up on my shoulders (and ass) so that I can start the next season of my life all fresh with rainbows and dancing and cupcakes and ducks in a row. I wanna shut the door on winter and find the closure I need so that I can start the next chapter calmly, with my batty little ducks organized and following obediently behind their mother duck.

Spring cleaning is about clearing the frost off of the window in order to see more clearly what has been missing from our lives while we holed up for the winter. It’s refocusing and understanding what a fresh start can bring, what that will take, and all the possibility that a new season holds. Spring cleaning is about organizing my life so that I can move forward without the clutter that holds me back and prevents me from hitting my stride. Spring cleaning is about identifying what isn’t working and deciding how I can improve.

Molly wrote a perfect post, full of ways to “get your act together”- which has been a guide for me as I’m getting my proverbial little ducks in a row so that I can gently transition from a life of crisis control to a life of rolling in the grass whilst wearing sundresses and cowboy boots. She writes about ten areas (money, health, relationships, space, parents, sex, work, travel, love, and spirituality) that need attention in order to clear out the cobwebs and nasty stuff that bogs us down through, for me, the winter doldrums.

I like to take what she offers, and put my own spin on it, deciding how I can best address each area of my life. For me, there are a few areas that I’m focusing in on (money, space, love, and spirituality) so that I can frolick through fields all spring and summer long without having to worry about a bunch of lunatic “ducks” running every which way. Yeah, I’ll probably toss out some clothes I don’t wear and dust my table tops or whatever people do to spring clean, but mostly, I’m brainstorming what needs my focus, getting the administrative stuff in order, having the conversations that need to be had, and ridding my space, both physical and mental, of nonsensical clutter. I’m setting myself up for success and moving on.

Farewell winter. You sent me into an imbalance, you depleted my vitamin D, you were a season in which I allowed annoying tasks and small responsibilities to shut me down, and I never want to see you again. I fell into a cloud and I didn’t even know it until the sun started shining lately.

Hear this:I have absolutely NOT learned to conquer this QLC deal, no way, no how. But, what I’m getting better at is understanding the seasons of life and the importance of pausing to consider how the next one can be its best. We can bloom again after a cold, dreary winter.

So, my dear, cute, crazy ducks- LINE UP, PLEASE. Spring is here and we’ve got better things to do than stand around in a disorganized pile of chaos.

[photo credit: MMM Mari]

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Northwest Dust Bunnies

posted 14th January 2010    Written by: Marisa    CATEGORY: All Posts, Marisa, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 1, What I've Learned

When I first moved to Oregon almost 10 years ago, I was stunned by the massive amounts of dust that collected inside a home.  Sure, I lived in a prison cell sized dorm room with another person in super close proximity, but still, it was shocking. It continued when I moved into a larger house with roomies after moving out of the dorms…  Those dust bunnies amassed to dust bunny armies, way more than what I was used to in Nevada.

It caused a new tradition of sorts every year.

I clean during the winter: clean to get rid of that dust, get rid of material items that weigh me down, and get rid of the dust that settles figuratively in my head.

I’ve had a lot of dust these past years, most of it I’ve swept underneath the carpet only to have it pile up and cloud my mind recently.

This year’s clean out is especially special. It’s the one wear I honestly look around my surroundings and make some decisions to affect this single life of mine.

So far I’ve been able to materialistically place a very neat pile of items on the North side of my apartment.  This fort of past wonders is for Goodwill and contains the 2008 & 2009 Marisa of unused clothes and furniture that could be of better use for someone else.  It’s funny giving up these items; they contain memories of where and when I bought them but hold no sentimental value really.  They are in fact just things and I’m learning that heavy materialism is no longer a part of my vocabulary. In fact, things look lighter and more open, just as hardwood floors should.

That was the easy part– moving furniture, sweeping floors and using citrus polish to make things look pretty and shiny.

What’s hardest for me is shaking all that dust that I’ve collected emotionally over the years. I can admit now that being up here for the past three years without experiencing any real romantic relationship with someone has been well, lonely.  I swept myself to the side, always excusing my life with reasons like a heavy workload, only finding insanely lazy Portland guys and the worst of all, the worst thing a young woman can do to herself, succumbing to a lack of confidence, that low self-esteem that says I was not worthy of finding such happiness.

But no more!  I’m going to do it.  I’m taking that layer of dust off, swiffering myself with a new environmentally friendly, cranberry scented cleanser, and I’m changing and challenging things starting NOW. I’ve been building up to it too-going on dates, meeting new people, figuring out exactly what I want and hopefully what I need.

It’s going to be difficult I think, to stay shiny and dust-free for a bit.  And I’m bound to meet some more dusty guys, but hey, Spring-cleaning is only three months away.

I can totally do a quick swiffer then.  Just in time for SXSW.

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