Archive

Learning To Trust Myself

posted 13th September 2011    Written by: Ashley    CATEGORY: All Posts, Ashley, Life Lesson, Season 5, Travel, Travel/Adventure, What I've Learned

 If I’m going to be completely honest (and isn’t that the point of this?), I must tell you that when I moved to France after college, it wasn’t all sparkly lights and hot chocolate.

The truth is, I was terrified.

I was terrified to leave Texas, my family, my friends, and my boyfriend at the time. I was scared of moving to a new country without knowing a soul and living on my own for nine months. I was scared of the new culture, the distance from home, and all of the other million unknowns.

But I packed my bags and went to France anyway.

Thankfully, the residents of my new charming French town were kind, welcoming, and provided me with an apartment, rent free. My French speaking skills improved almost overnight. Once my teaching assistantship began, I built friendships with a few of the teachers and was invited to their homes for dinner parties with authentic French cuisine- mussels, baguettes, cheeses, wines, and crepes. On the weekends I traveled. That was my favorite part of the entire experience. Spain, England, Switzerland, Italy, Portugal. Teaching wasn’t so bad either. I grew to love my students and enjoyed being part of their learning each day. Before I knew it, my time was up and I was sad to return home.

This all sounds like a great accomplishment because I conquered my fears and now I have this amazing experience to look back on, but the outcome didn’t have the same intense satisfaction you normally associate with conquering your fears. Not at all.

Instead of feeling proud of myself, I feel ashamed. I’m ashamed that the only reason I boarded the plane was because I knew it would make other people happy. I didn’t trust myself to consider how I felt or what I wanted. I was scared and the only thing that pushed me forward was knowing I wasn’t disappointing my parents and my friends.

I’ve thought about that moment a lot over the past few years. It makes me sad to realize that I let so many moments pass without making a strong, important decision for myself. I was letting fear control me and passing the responsibility off so that I wouldn’t have to own it.

This is part of the reason I chose BRAVE as my word for 2011.

I want my life to be built on my own terms. I want to follow my dreams, not my mom’s, my sister’s, or my best friend’s.

Mine.

I want to uncover my sense of self, my courage, and learn to trust my heart.

I’m hoping that at the end of these next five months I will have a firmer grasp on exactly what my dreams are and what my best life looks like. I’m hoping that, with the help of this amazing tribe of women, I will strengthen my confidence and feel a bit more sturdy when I make a decision that isn’t fully supported by those whose opinions matter most. I’m hoping that I will have embraced the idea that is my life and I need to live it boldly.

Since this is still a bit new to me, I’m starting small. Treating myself to warm baths and a good book after a long day at work. Journaling. Daydreaming. Brainstorming.

Maybe I’ll go back to school. Maybe I’ll write a book, or finally commit to those yoga teacher training classes that seem so intimidating, but full of great possibility. Maybe I’ll look into owning my own business since the goal of a private practice has been floating around my head since graduate school.

I see glimpses of how I want my future to be, filled with authentic joy and happiness. Now I just have to figure out how all of the pieces fit together.

[photo credit: SweetOnVeg]

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It Only Took Five Years of Ignoring The QLC.

posted 11th September 2011    Written by: Kat    CATEGORY: All Posts, Job/Career/Work, Kat, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 5, Travel/Adventure

INTRODUCING: KAT

“I can admit now that I was afraid to be alone.”

 collage of kat

Five years ago: My AmeriCorps year with Habitat for Humanity was ending, and I had no idea what I wanted to do for work. I loved that job—the manual labor, the opportunity to teach, the people—and I didn’t know what type of job I could find to capture those things. I fell into my current non-profit desk job because that was familiar (it was how I made my living before AmeriCorps), I needed an income, and I wasn’t sure how to find something else. I considered moving back to Seattle; however, I decided to stick with New York City and the more traditional type of job that my parents wanted for me.

Three years ago: I was still thinking about leaving New York, still wanting to be somewhere else. This time, I was considering Australia. I could get a work visa, and I’d been interested in living there since I first visited in 1997. My job was boring me, I couldn’t get the promotion I wanted—and believe me, I’d been trying—and I was feeling very stuck career-wise. Then I met a guy and fell—hard—and I chose to stay to see where things that went, even though it didn’t feel quite right. I can admit now that I was afraid to be alone.

One year ago: I’d moved in with my boyfriend and finally gotten promoted at work. Saying that sounds like life was great, except I felt like a shell of myself. Every little thing had me on edge; I would literally cry over spilt milk. It was awful, and it got even worse when just before my 29th birthday, my boyfriend started saying completely horrible things to me. I cried, sobbed, and screamed, and finally, I told him to move out. I was left with the overwhelming desire to get rid of everything I owned and leave New York for good, except I knew that at that point, I couldn’t be happy anywhere. I needed time to rebuild myself first. I breathed. I stayed. I proclaimed on my 29th birthday that the upcoming year would be my year of courage.

Let me tell you: when you make a declaration like that, you’d better be prepared for what’s coming.

Six months ago: Three important events:
1. a management training for work, which led to the realization that I didn’t want my boss’ job;
2. the beginning of my yoga teacher training, which helped me find myself again; and
3. finding a (fortunately benign) lump in my breast, which reminded me that I want to be living life on my terms.

Those three things finally propelled me to acknowledge my quarterlife crisis, to make the type of change that had been on my mind for the past few years. When my boss asked me in a meeting if I was happy at
my job, I simply replied, “No.” That startled both of us, and I knew then that I needed to go for it. I realized that there would never be a perfect time; this was the moment to say yes to myself and figure out the details later.

One month ago: I turned 30, and declared it my year of flourishing. I don’t know what’s coming; all I know is that the traditional path—the desk job, living longer-term in one city, settling into a relationship—hasn’t worked for me. In five days, I’ll no longer be employed. In two weeks, I’ll leave my apartment in Brooklyn one final
time. I’ll head to Seattle and then Europe, traveling for several months, and eventually making my way to Sydney—or maybe Melbourne—to be a photograph-taking, gluten-free pie baking, knitting, tattooed
yoga teacher and blogger.

Watch out, world. I’m coming for you!

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Are You Having a Quarterlife Crisis?

posted 29th January 2010    Written by: Molly Mahar    CATEGORY: All Posts, Molly, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2

Fact:  The Quarterlife Crisis is a real experience of Gen Y, of women in their twenties and early thirties.

Fact:  You are not alone. If you feel disconnected from your life, not sure what the fuck you’re supposed to do next, disappointed that your day-to-day isn’t living up to all the expectations you had for it, have that eerie feeling that there should be something more, are overwhelmed by all the possibilities out there, or just feel totally unlike your awesome self–Yup, we get it. Been there.

Fact: The Quarterlife Crisis is the a Rite of Passage. Embrace it. Use it to grow and learn and laugh hysterically that you make ends meet by dressing up like a Cheddar Cheese Loaf while pursuing your painting on the side.  Hey, it’s YOUR life!

Fact:  This article explains the intricacies of today’s Quarterlife Crisis.

If you’re a familiar face around Stratejoy, you know that we’ve had Robyn, Kendra, Andrea and Marisa writing about their day to day experience of conquering, or at least surviving, their QLC for the past 6 months.  Well, today it’s time to welcome three new women to “Season 2″! Without further ado, I am thrilled to introduce you to Nicole Antoinette, Heather Rae, and Katie!

Season 2 Guest Bloggers

These woman are gutsy. They’re helping spread the word that the Quarterlife Crisis happens to the best of us and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that fact.  They’re helping challenge the stigma that this “crisis” is considered a failure and that somehow we could have avoided it, if only we had everything figured out.

Those of us who have experienced/are experiencing a QLC haven’t failed.  We are not selfish Gen Yers wallowing in some perceived notion that life should be handed to us on golden platter. We’re not blaming our parents and our education for encouraging us to go after it all.

We’re simply admitting we don’t have it “figured out” at a time in our lives when we thought we would. And we are gutsy enough to take control of our happiness.

And as long as you don’t allow your Quarterlife Criris to take you down and out, you will be stronger, healthier and happier for it.  It will force you to really think about your life, to challenge expectations and to carve out your own definition of success.

These women — Nicole, Heather, Katie– are living proof of that.

What I ask of you?  Participate! Join in the conversation here on the blogs.  Become part of the community on Facebook. Interact with all of us on Twitter ( Nicole, Heather, Katie and me, Molly)!  Let your voice, your opinion, your experience be heard.  Share, learn and laugh your ass off with us.

Get excited!  They’re going LIVE next week!

Do you love the new Bio Boxes as much as I do?  All credit goes to the rockstar duo at Shatterboxx Media: Jamie Varon and our very own Nicole Antoinette! They’ve been amazing to work with and you’ll definitely be seeing some more collaboration between Stratejoy & Shatterboxx.

Shatterboxx Media is a graphic and web design company that thrives at the intersection of simplistic design and functionality. Specializing in the creation of gorgeous, multi-functional, and powerful websites, Shatterboxx is passionate about bringing inspired ideas to life.

So, who are these talented foxes?

Jamie Varon- Founder, Design Maven, Ultimate Typography Snob. Jamie is the pixelated pioneer behind the company’s entire portfolio of tricked out websites.  Nicole Antoinette- Chief Idea Officer & Princess of Particulars. Nicole, the newer half of the Shatterboxx duo, is the company’s gatekeeper and can usually be bribed with brownies and links to funny YouTube videos.

Thumbnail Credit : Eye Weekly

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