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The Challenge Child

posted 1st February 2010    Written by: Kelly    CATEGORY: All Posts, Kelly, Love, Quarterlife Crisis, Season 2

INTRODUCING KELLY

I’ve never done things the easy way.

I’ve always been the type to learn lessons the hard way and experience mistakes by myself.  Personality traits also come into play; I’m spontaneous, impatient, impulsive and driven.

When I was young, my parents affectionately referred to me as “The Challenge Child”; and you bet that I earned every letter of it.

In 1st grade, I cut my desk mates’ bangs. I told her that to get rid of them, you don’t grow them out, you cut them. I left a trail of hair from the bathroom to my desk. It wasn’t hard for the teacher to find the culprit.

My kindergarten report card read, “Kelly needs to understand that the world does not revolve around her.”

At 6, I convinced my sister that our blanket was a magic carpet. I opened the 2nd story window, knocked out the screen and was ready to push her out. Dad caught on just in time.

I changed my name to Ming in 2nd grade.

My first detention was in 3rd grade. I took ticky-tack and put it in my teacher’s hair. It got stuck, and he had to have the school nurse get it out with peanut butter. They sent a note home, but I stuffed it under the bus seat.

Between the ages of 8-13 the majority of family dinners ended with me eating at the bottom of the basement stairs alone. My parents have pages and pages of “I will not talk back” written on them.

High school years hit me hard; I was far from the perfect student.  Always into some kind of trouble, hanging out with the “wrong” crowd and doing my best to defy authority.  It took a few years to come into myself.  ;)

I am made of tough stuff. This comes from my Mother. I may have to learn everything from my own mistakes, but it has made me the person I am today and fueled me to become the best that I possibly can. My experiences have forced me to look at the world for what it really is, figure out what I need to do and get it done.

About 4 months ago, I met a boy, fell head over heels in love and decided to move to Texas from my little home town, after knowing him 2 weeks. Imagine the hell I raised with this stunt! I’ve been here for 3 months now and I’ve never been happier. I packed up; left everything and everyone I ever knew and moved … 1200 miles away, for love. :)

Which brings me to present day. To my “Quarterlife Crisis”…   I’m living in a brand new city with no solid ground. A supportive and amazing man by my side, but no self-identity in this new world. No job, coworkers or girlfriends and reliant everyday on my trusty GPS, Greta. I find myself examining my life, my patterns and my past … realizing that there are skeletons in my closet … and to lead the life I want to, I must face them.

So, it’s time to shine!

Join me as I spread my wings, find life outside of Buffalo, NY and discover a entire new chapter of my life journey.


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I Want to Like my Job

posted 19th August 2009    Written by: Robyn    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

Robinandsis

(This week I posed a question to Andrea, Kendra, Robyn & Marisa- When you were small, what did you want to be when you grew up?  How has this played into your life?  And perhaps the more appropriate question for a Quarterlife Crisis: What do you want to be when you grow up? xoxo  Molly)

When I was growing up, I played “house” with my two younger sisters constantly. I was always the more practical of my sisters: Holly wanted to be a Dutch girl when she grew up so that she could always wear wooden shoes and Alex wanted to be a dolphin trainer so that she could meet Flipper.

When we played house, I was always the “Mom” and surprisingly, I balanced two jobs on top of that. I was a 9-year-old mom-doctor-artist. Pretty impressive, right? I was a creative kid who loved helping others, so mom-doctor-artist was the perfect profession for me.  Back then, I was only concerned with three simple things that I “like to do”:

Being happy
Drawing
Helping people

Now…  I am not an artist nor a doctor. I can draw nothing other than stick figures, and I faint at the site of blood, so it really wouldn’t have worked out anyway.

I am, however, still searching for something that I just plain “like to do.”

And I want that to be my job.

Over the years, I have wanted to be a restaurant owner, a high level businesswoman, a traveling journalist, a teacher, a counselor, and…  the list goes on and on. I think I have been searching for my niche for a very long time and hoping that eventually it will just find me.

I have given different occupations a chance, but I lose interest quickly when I feel like my skills aren’t used and my talent is underestimated. I’ve also really started to pay attention to how quickly time moves.  I feel like I am still a “recent college grad,” when really I’ve been a professional (well…kinda!) for the past three years.

Point is… Time flies and life really is what happens while you are sitting there making plans.

I have reached the conclusion that I will never enjoy a corporate job. I will never enjoy a 9 to 5, because there is too much living left to do! I can’t do that cramped in a cubicle, doing mindless work. I’m looking for a job that doesn’t seem so much like work.

cubicle

I also think I do need something of my own so that I can only answer to myself due to my severe aversion of doing bitch work for “the man.” I know I’m better than that, and if no one else will take advantage of my true skills (not my data entry or copying skills), then I’ll work for myself and pat myself on the back!

I’m working on getting the courage to leave my secure job and take a chance, but it’s scary to take that kind of a chance.  I’m confident in my skills, but I need an idea…a plan…  More on that later, I promise!

robyn-bio1

photo credit: stewf

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When I Grow Up, I’ll Be Happy

posted 18th August 2009    Written by: Kendra    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

nogrownups(This week I posed a question to Andrea, Kendra, Robyn & Marisa- When you were small, what did you want to be when you grew up?  How has this played into your life?  And perhaps the more appropriate question for a Quarterlife Crisis: What do you want to be when you grow up? xoxo  Molly)

Adults love to ask little kids what they want to be when they grow up.

It is a strange tendency, if you think about it. Small children can’t even come close to being able to express a clear answer based on skills, interests, temperament and professional knowledge.  Heck, even most adults can’t.

Adults, I think, ask this question for one of two reasons.

The first, and the more insidious, is because in our “success” oriented culture we want kids to start thinking about their futures early. While this has its benefits, it’s also a form of social conditioning that trains us to be still more future focused. We forget early how to embrace the moment and instead keep our eyes on the carrots held by society’s sticks.

The second reason I think adults enjoy asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up is because children often respond with some of the cleverest, funniest, most interesting answers to what we as adults often find a weighted question. 

littlekendraWhen I was a kid I wanted to be (in order from youngest to oldest): a doctor, a lawyer, president of the United States and a superhero. The older I got, oddly enough, the more fantastical my career aspirations became.

I remember fervently praying to god in French class, my sophomore year of high school, for super powers, or at the very least, the ability to create my own bat cave with the necessary technologies. I was a bizarrely spiritual kid with a strong attraction to the mystical side of the Catholic faith in which I was raised.

This is my explanation, fifteen years later, as to how I could possibly believe that God would give me super powers.Faced with transubstantiation and the dead rising, how hard could a little thing like super powers be? I promised to keep them a secret.

I wanted super powers because for as far back as I can remember I was aware of human suffering and desperately wanted to end it. Given the vastness of the situation- environmental degradation, hunger, poverty, war- I quickly realized that it would take super human efforts to fix the problem. And while fifteen years later, I no longer pray to God for superpowers to help me fix the problem, this strong desire to make the world better has played a role in both my career and personal life.

Beyond my graduate school studies in sustainable development and my decision to pursue a career, in part, in environmental policy, I’ve found that I have a difficult time relating to people who don’t seem to recognize the connections between their life choices and the larger problems of the world. My friends and “special friends” all tend to be motivated by more than money or interests, but also by a larger sense of connection to people and the planet.

What does that mean as I face once again the question of who I want to be when I grow up?

Beyond helping to color the kinds of activities I’m willing to engage in, not much. I’m more motivated these days by the sentiment represented in this quote:

“When I was in grade school, they told me to write down what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down happy. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment. I told them they didn’t understand life.”

More than anything, what I want to be when I grow up is happy.

Not the kind of happiness that’s represented in television commercials by an endless parade of smiles, and writhing hips, set to a kicking soundtrack…  Rather, a deeper sense of contentment based on strong connections to loved ones, to my work, and to society as a whole.

This is why I am actively seeking work that I find personally meaningful that also contributes to society and why I am moving home to be closer to family and friends.

kendra-bio1

photocredit: eatbitter

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I Can’t be a Rockette when I Grow Up

posted 17th August 2009    Written by: Andrea    CATEGORY: All Posts, Quarterlife Crisis

(This week I posed a question to Andrea, Kendra, Robyn & Marisa- When you were small, what did you want to be when you grew up?  How has this played into your life?  And perhaps the more appropriate question for a Quarterlife Crisis: What do you want to be when you grow up? xoxo  Molly)

I am 25 and have no idea what I want to be when I grow up. Now, I have said this before and I’ll say it again: I really thought when I was little by the time I was 25 I would be a grown up.

Not so much.

My roommate Siobhan recently sent me this amazing YouTube video and it pretty much sums up how I feel about my life on a daily basis. I know there are other girls out there who feel the same way! I probably watch this video 5 times each and every day now. At least!

When it come down to it, I don’t think men and women living today in Generation Y can really classify themselves in one career field. It isn’t like when our parents were younger and they dreamed of becoming an Astronaut or Dentist or Teacher. People our age go through so many different types of careers and many people (myself included) have multiple jobs at one time.

What do I consider myself? Well, I’m a writer first and foremost. And even though I have not taken a dance class is over a year, I still consider myself a dancer. I knew how to dance before I knew how to read. It makes me sad to say that today I don’t dance as my career.

It is so ironic that my first performance, when I was 4, was to a song called “When I Grow Up.” From that point on, I was convinced I was destined to be a dancer. I am the only one in my family who has ever taken dance lessons. When I was 6, I was chosen out of many students at my studio to join the competition team and I stayed on that time until I graduated high school. Up until the age of 11, I thought I was going to be a dancer.  Then I found out there was a height requirement to become a Rockette. (I have not grown taller since I was 11 and I am just 4 1/2 inches shy of the 5’6’’ requirement to dance at Radio City…)

I then thought, “Okay, well if I can dance, then I could teach!” I even interviewed my dance teachers, who are like aunts to me, for my 6th grade Career Studies class.

Here and there I swayed from that path, but only for a few days. Once I thought I could maybe be an architect since I love unique design and buildings, but then I would remember how much I hate math and went back to my dance teacher dream.

It wasn’t until the end of high school that I had to really sit down and decide if my career would involve dance or not. Aka… I had to decide if I was going to go to college for dance or for something else. That something else was another passion of mine, something I had done equally as long: writing.

I ended up choosing the latter. Honestly, I did it because by the time I was 18 I knew I wasn’t as good or talented dancer as I once had been. When I was 6-10 yrs old I would like to think I was a very talented dancer for my age, but as I got older dance became a very commercialized activity and I realized my talent was nothing compared to others. It wasn’t fun anymore,  instead it was cutthroat and competitive.

I became a journalism major and subsequently graduated with an Honors degree in journalism, mass communication and marketing. During my 4 years in school, my brain ran through about a dozen different careers. These are some of them:

When the time came, I applied for jobs in Public Relations at a few theater companies and small more feature-y newspapers and magazines. No dice.

I actually ended up going to graduate school, living at home with my family and working at a non-profit that helps developmentally disabled individuals. It was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life and I’m glad I decided to work in non-profit prior to any real-world corporate gig. (Most people I have found go the other way. They work in corporate America first, realize how much it sucks and then go work someplace that actually helps people.)

Lately my thoughts on career choice have been all over the place! Over the past 6 months I have thought about:

1. Traveling the world as a paid blogger
2. Teaching New Media at a medium-sized college or university
3. Opening a Bed & Breakfast
4. Starting my own new media consulting business (I am doing this one!)
5. Getting a corporate America desk job at a Social Media firm

Those are just five among many many other things. It’s not that I am not satisfied with my job right now, I just have this syndrome (which I acquired from my Dad) that nothing is ever good enough. I feel like I could be doing more with my life.

I look around at all those 25-year-old grown ups with families and houses and career and think… “When will I grow up? And what will I be?”

Will I travel the world or live overseas? Will I ever teach? Will I work in corporate America ever? I really don’t know. I may never know. But, I think that the majority of my life is going to spent trying to figure this out. My life job is going to be searching for my purpose on this earth… And I’m okay with that.

I’m okay with that as long as I am happy and calm that is!

Andrea Dancing

*The very last performance I ever did with my studio back in Buffalo was a 20 year Anniversary tribute to our instructors. I have danced with most of these girls in this picture for 20 years and this routine was a parody of the very first dance we ever performed…. “When I Grow Up”

Andrea (new) bio.


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Stratejoy Manifesto Part 2: Clarity lets you Run your Own Race

posted 26th January 2009    Written by: Molly Hoyne    CATEGORY: All Posts, Stratejoy the Biz, Tips & Tools

[Welcome to a 4 part Blog Post on the philosophy behind Stratejoy.  We'll hit the 4 Pillars of Inspiration, Clarity, Accountability & Camaraderie over the next 2 weeks. Stay tuned & if you like--share with a friend or two!]

After you’ve entered the magical land of Inspiration, the next thing you need to do is seek Clarity.  What do you actually want?  And is that response your true authentic answer or a programmed reflex?  This pillar calls for a great level of self reflection and honesty.  And it takes some work.  But I think it’s the most exciting, fabulous, mind bending, doors opening part of the process!  Ladies, start your engines…

Second Step:  Get Clear

Here’s the million dollar question: “What does your best life look like?”

Quick, gut check: What are you feeling when you read that question?  Are you excited imagining all the possibilities?  Are you jazzed, though slightly overwhelmed? Does it remind you to take some action to move forward on your journey?

Read more…

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